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The doghouse

If you're worried about your pet's health, please speak to a vet or qualified professional.

Original poster

At my wits end with elderly, incontinent dog with dementia

40 replies

Supernova23 · 05/02/2023 13:19

As the title says really. She's 14 and physically in good health. Cognitively however, she's a nightmare. She's up barking at 4:30-5am every morning, 7 days a week, as this is the time she wants to be fed. Usually there is a puddle of urine and a poo on the floor - my house stinks like a urinal, as it's got under the kitchen laminate. I can't have anyone over due to this. I'm mentally exhausted by the early starts and physically by clearing up poo and wee constantly.

I don't want her PTS as I don't believe in killing her for this, as physically she's well, but she is quite literally making my life hell. If anyone has any tips on managing the dementia and the incontinence I would love to hear it.

OP posts:
Chesneyhawkes1 · 05/02/2023 13:24

My jrt is almost 17 and has a bit of this. He doesn't wake me, but he will pee inside and he paces a lot late at night.

I've put down puppy pads or pensioner pads as we call them for him.

He goes on them and it saves the floor etc. I think the vet can give something I help though. I'm sure my friend got something for her dog.

It is frustrating at times but I just try to think one day when he's gone - I'd give anything to get the chance to clean another accident up.

Chesneyhawkes1 · 05/02/2023 13:25

Meant to add CBD might help with the early starts. At least you won't be tired then.

whoruntheworldgirls · 05/02/2023 13:27

When my cat got like this i bought puppy training pads from the pound shop, worked really well

MajesticWhine · 05/02/2023 13:33

Can you put her in a smaller space overnight and she might not pee/poo in it.
Is it light where she sleeps - is something waking her?
Or could you change the routine of when she eats dinner.

Nannyfannybanny · 05/02/2023 14:05

We had this all last year. Our toy, waking up at first around 2am, frantically barking, for a few months, then crying. We took it in turns to get up and sit with him. DH manages to go to sleep on the sofa,I can't. We have an open plan bungalow, lounge/kitchen at end,then conservatory. No where smaller to put him. Every night I covered most of the floor in puppy pads,he often managed to miss then. He wanted feeding between 2 and 4am depending on when he woke. We tried a suppliment firstly which increases blood flow to the brain,then tablets I forget the name, have seen them mentioned on another thread. He had cataracts,so we had to leave the lights on at night for him. We were back and forth to the vets countless times. The vet is an 80 mile round trip, kept from where we used to live, tried half a dozen nearer ones, didn't like any of them. After a whole year of discussions with vet,it was agreed,he's distressed,very frightened, she said being doubly incontinent would upset him,we made the horrible decision to have him PTS, he would have been 18 in march.

Fenella123 · 05/02/2023 14:15

Well one thing - put her in a nappy?
Worth a go - from experience (it was a young dog though who luckily didn't just chew it off!) it gets YOUR stress levels down - sponging poo off a furry bum is not fab, but beats getting wee and poo off the floor etc.

What does the vet say about meds to manage her dementia?

Does she still have some pleasure out of life somehow?

bagelbagelbagel · 05/02/2023 14:16

If she's miserable then that's affecting her QOL, surely?

workbasedquestion · 05/02/2023 14:24

Following as recently in this situation myself.

justasking111 · 05/02/2023 14:27

Our vet put our dog on a dementia med. The difference was remarkable, no more mess, no more aimless pacing. He was back to his old self. His body was giving out a year later. BUT his mind clear.

QuestionableMouse · 05/02/2023 14:32

Physical health isn't the only thing that's impacting her quality of life. She sounds very stressed and upset and if you've tried medical management of her symptoms and it hasn't helped, having her PTS is probably the kindest thing. It's a conversation you need to have with your vet though.

Original poster
Supernova23 · 05/02/2023 14:44

justasking111 · 05/02/2023 14:27

Our vet put our dog on a dementia med. The difference was remarkable, no more mess, no more aimless pacing. He was back to his old self. His body was giving out a year later. BUT his mind clear.

Can I ask what it was called? willing to try anything at this point.

OP posts:
Original poster
Supernova23 · 05/02/2023 14:46

bagelbagelbagel · 05/02/2023 14:16

If she's miserable then that's affecting her QOL, surely?

She's not miserable, I am. She still enjoys walks etc. It's me who's not coping with the getting up in the middle of the night, toileting all over the floor etc.

OP posts:
Oldermutt13 · 05/02/2023 14:46

Ours is almost the same age and driving us mad with constant pacing during the day and evenings. He also needs to be watched very closely and put out periodically to avoid accidents on the floor.
One thing which has worked well to avoid barking at night is we got his old crate back out which he hadn't been in overnight for years and gradually got him used to being in it at night time again. He's much happier and sleeps a lot better in the small enclosed space with blankets draped over it so he can't see any light or reflections which were worrying him.

userxx · 05/02/2023 15:04

bagelbagelbagel · 05/02/2023 14:16

If she's miserable then that's affecting her QOL, surely?

Exactly this and please don't use phrases like "killing". If I could have euthanised my grandparent with dementia I would have done in a flash. Animals are so lucky in that respect, they don't need to suffer as humans do.

Gymmum82 · 05/02/2023 15:08

Euthanasia is 100% an option for a dog with dementia and incontinence. I would put her to sleep.
I would euthanaise a human with dementia also if it was legal. The suffering I witnessed with my grandparents was beyond awful. It’s affecting your life it’s definitely affecting hers. PTS and don’t feel guilty for it

justasking111 · 05/02/2023 15:10

Supernova23 · 05/02/2023 14:44

Can I ask what it was called? willing to try anything at this point.

Show quote history

Honestly can't recall. But they work by increasing blood flow which includes the brain. Apparently developed for humans originally. He also had treatment for an inflamed gut. Old age a bit of IBS. Previously he was going out to spend, coming in and pooing in front of us in the sitting room. That all stopped. Diarrhea stopped with the tummy med course. It's never one thing in old age so she hit the lot. I think he also had antibiotics for spaniel ear.

I actually wrote out the cocktail of pills on a sheet, times, frequency . Some four times a day, some twice some once. bought a load of cheese slices and dosed him up .

He was 17 1/2 when PTS

Nannyfannybanny · 05/02/2023 15:30

Our little dog,was showing signs of dementia 4 years ago,he would stop dead on a walk,then follow someone else,and boy could he move. Our vet said eating doesn't show he had a quality of life. He had never been crated at home, only in the car for safety. He had cataracts,so we had to leave the lights on,so he didn't bump into the furniture or doors. At first we thought it was the loss of sight causing the confusion. He started being upset in the day as well, wandering around aimlessly, staring into space, crying.

LadyJ2023 · 05/02/2023 16:05

I'm sorry but you may think she isn't suffering but if you saw the exact same in a human you wouldn't think twice about ptd because it isn't a nice way to be for her and it won't be comfy etc...Had several doggy friends over the years and eventually they all get to that ripe old age where you have to try not to be sentimental and make the right decision for the one you love.

tangerinetreesandmarmaladeskies · 05/02/2023 16:17

Dementia is just as distressing in dogs as it is in humans. She may be physically okay but that doesn't mean she's happy or that she has much quality of life.

However I wouldn't necessarily leap to PTS based on your post - I think you need to speak to your vet about medication to and her her symptoms, and I would also look at environmental management to make dealing with the accidents a lot easier.

Fenella123 · 05/02/2023 16:54

justasking111 · 05/02/2023 15:10

Honestly can't recall. But they work by increasing blood flow which includes the brain. Apparently developed for humans originally. He also had treatment for an inflamed gut. Old age a bit of IBS. Previously he was going out to spend, coming in and pooing in front of us in the sitting room. That all stopped. Diarrhea stopped with the tummy med course. It's never one thing in old age so she hit the lot. I think he also had antibiotics for spaniel ear.

I actually wrote out the cocktail of pills on a sheet, times, frequency . Some four times a day, some twice some once. bought a load of cheese slices and dosed him up .

He was 17 1/2 when PTS

Show quote history

Was it vivitonin perhaps?

Mckmck123 · 24/03/2023 09:33

My lurcher is 15 this year
vet has diagnosed dementia and he has put him on gabapentin as he was waking and crying and pacing at night. They have helped but wakes up really early now and won’t stop barking till I get up . He has had 2 fits recently
he has cataracts and a bit deaf but otherwise enjoys his foods and walks but mainly sleeps all day
although when he is awake wants to go in and out
pee in the house if we leave him for 2 hours
we rescued him when he was 14 months old so he has had a long happy life
think I would to put him to sleep before he gets much worse but vet keeps upping his pills and I’m not sure I won’t to carry on till he really deteriorates

userxx · 24/03/2023 13:33

@Mckmck123 You know your dog better than anyone, you do what is right by him. I had the same happen once, the vet just gave us more pills and in hindsight I wish I'd been firmer, she was suffering. Sounds like your dog has had a lovely long life, you are right not wanting to take it to the bitter end. Its such a hard choice but the final act of love for them.

Creativityescapee · 24/03/2023 13:38

I would be setting the dial earlier rather than later in the decision to PTS

Mckmck123 · 24/03/2023 14:36

userxx.
thanks for your reply
its a hard decision but it is getting us down now

Mckmck123 · 24/03/2023 14:37

Thanks all for your replys
will talk to the vet again