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Golden retreiver too big for 4 year old?

27 replies

Chatter101 · 14/01/2023 11:44

Hello All, Please let me know your experiences of a golden retriever and your small child.

We have a 4 year old son, and are looking to buy a GR. Because of their size and exuberance I was wondering how they got on with your youngster.

Mainly in terms of did they knock your child over ( with play and love obviously), did your child get scared, was the dog when adult size too intimidating for your small child etc.

We love the GR character, but we are just a little reluctant about their size, in our house, and for our son.

TIA

OP posts:
Blainesmaries · 14/01/2023 11:47

Labs are great with kids.

TuneInThisTimeNextWeek · 14/01/2023 11:57

We had a GR when we were kids. I was about 9, my brother would’ve been 6 … and assorted cousins who visited and played with her were between 3-7 at the time. She was the most gentle dog I’ve ever known, never even as much as barked at a gaggle of kids all wanting to play with her. One of my young cousins would lie on the floor and snuggle up with her (well, we all did at various times) and she was always perfectly content with it. She seemed very aware of a need to be gentle with small humans.

newtb · 14/01/2023 12:01

Headmaster of my school had one in the classroom. Children 4 to 13. Never a problem.

Pr1mr0se · 14/01/2023 12:03

I assume from your question that you're looking for an adult GR?

It's unlikely that a rescue centre would rehome any dog to a family with a 4 year old.

fivepies · 14/01/2023 12:03

I would advise waiting a couple of years. Your son will be older and you will have less concerns about him and the puppy. The breeder of our dogs would not sell to households with kids under the age of 7.

Largethighsbadeyes · 14/01/2023 12:05

My parents had a GR when I was born
I had a GR when my child was born

Yes the kids got knocked over occasionally but none of them are scared of dogs or wary.

They are big bouncy dogs but I wouldn't have another breed around kids.

Downsize2021 · 14/01/2023 12:22

When I was born we had a golden retriever and springer spaniel and then added 2 flat coat retrievers and a red setter (my dad did gun dog training although he rarely actually did any shooting). They were all wonderful pets. I thought of them as equals to my older siblings (except the setter because she was as silly as they come and even as an infant I couldnt take her seriously!)

(Flat coats are absolutely amazing though so I'd sway you that way rather than a goldie if I could! I have a collie cross right now who looks like a flaty but she's far too diva to pass for one)

whataboutsecondbreakfast · 14/01/2023 12:28

Golden retrievers are lovely family dogs - I wouldn't let the size put you off.

TheDuchessOfMN · 14/01/2023 12:34

I wrote a long reply but it’s gone.

I just said to be aware of resource guarding in golden retrievers. It’s so common and I don’t think a 4 year old is mature enough to deal with a GR taking and refusing to give back their toys. I’ve seen it many times.

Other than that, they really are the perfect family dog.

Chatter101 · 14/01/2023 12:36

Hi we are looking for a puppy, but am aware they grow to full size way before they are mentally mature

OP posts:
lifeturnsonadime · 14/01/2023 12:40

I have a golden retriever and we have young children (0-4) in the extended family. She is a goofball, a gentle giant. Yes she might accidentally knock one of them over but none of the kids are scared of her. They all adore her.

Petmum · 14/01/2023 12:43

I have a goldie, he grew up with babies and cats. He is 6 this year. To be fair he is a gentle giant. Very occasionally he brings my 11yr old one of his toys but happily gives it back. He does stand on feet, however he is very gentle with little children and our new kittens. He does guard his food but not from me. So I feed him and the kittens separately. He will share toys with the kittens. The only downside is the fur, it's everywhere and I hoover daily and sweep a lot.
He is a joy.

Chatter101 · 14/01/2023 12:45

@TheDuchessOfMN hi we are looking to start puppy training right away and concentrate on what I call home training ( no jumping up, giving up what is in their mouth, only eating when given the ok, etc we are also looking to " train " our son, understand a dog is not human, not pulling ears, boundaries etc. Then go for advanced training. Do you think that would be the right way to go about it. We just want it to be as safe for our son. Does it depend on the dogs sex?

OP posts:
Mariposista · 14/01/2023 12:51

My almost 3 year old lab is wonderful with children, babies and elderly people. Of course, as with all dogs, it is your responsibility to teach the child how to be gentle with the dog, touch it kindly, not overstimulate it, give it time out to rest when it needs to. He was a typical bouncy puppy, and yes it took time and patience to ge to where we are now but after 18 months or (and particularly post neutering), he is a lovely calm boy and I am not worried about him around anyone. Even if my frail 91 yo gran is walking through the door, I know he will charge up to her, but has the intelligence to grind to a halt and just lick her hand without jumping. A GR or lab is an excellent choice for a family.

Mariposista · 14/01/2023 12:52

Oh, and don't worry about mouthing. All puppies do it. Yes it hurts but they grow out of it. My arms were scratched to pieces when he was teething, and I did worry he was 'a biter', but as soon as he got all his adult teeth, around 7 months, he just naturally stopped. But pup plenty of chewy toys, ropes etc. It hurts then to go through teething the same as a baby.

Undisclosedlocation · 14/01/2023 18:11

Working lines would most likely be too ‘hot’ for a pet dog home with small children, but a show goldie with consistent training would potentially be a good match.
any good breeders (and most rescues) would not match you to their pup until your DS is 5 though

totallyhadenoughofthisbs · 14/01/2023 18:20

We have a golden. All I would say is they are very land shark when puppies and ours wouldn't leave our son alone! Now she's older its fine, she's really gentle.

Undisclosedlocation · 14/01/2023 18:26

‘Many’ good breeders not any!

I despair at the lack of an edit function 😂

Miracle29 · 16/01/2023 09:37

I have a retriever and also had them growing up. I was 3 when my parents rescued the first retriever and she was an absolute dream. Always by my side, calm and such lovely nature. I now have my own retriever and she's such a lovely dog. Training was easy with her. She's friendly and adores children. There are 2 more in my street and they are just as lovely as mine. The only downfall to them is the malting, especially in summer, so be prepared for lots of hoovering and brushing but its so worth it. She cane from a good breeder and I started training the day after we had her. She wasn't really a chewer but have heard they can be land sharks but I absolutly love them and if I had space I'd have many more!....dog hair too!

Passmethegin67 · 16/01/2023 11:10

Our first goldie was about 18 months old when DS1 was born and was great with him and then DS2 when he came along 3 years later. If getting the dog as a puppy then he or she will grow up with your son and should learn while small how to behave along side him and where they stand in the pecking order. Yes dogs grow quicker than people and goldies certainly grow faster than they mature, think puppy brain in adult body, so accidents will happen but a firm hand in terms of training not to jump up etc should help.

whirlyhead · 16/01/2023 11:12

I have a friend with a GR and a baby. They love each other! They are growing up together. The GR is a joy (much more so than the baby I'd say)

luckylavender · 16/01/2023 13:59

Pr1mr0se · 14/01/2023 12:03

I assume from your question that you're looking for an adult GR?

It's unlikely that a rescue centre would rehome any dog to a family with a 4 year old.

We rescued an 18 month old lab when DS was 4. No problems.

freckles20 · 16/01/2023 21:35

Hi OP. All credit to you for giving this plenty of thought.

I am a dog walker and spend time with lots of different breeds. In my experience a GR is a good option to have around a young family with two caveats:

  1. A dog is always a dog and can never be trusted 100%.
  1. Any dog needs to be shaped and trained to behave appropriately for your circumstances. If you put the work in a GR should usually be easy to train to be a good family dog i.e. basic obedience and manners.

Almost all puppies do have a bitey phase though, and you would need to manage this carefully around your child.

Your post above wrt training is spot on. You should concentrate on teaching your puppy basic manners initially over and above shiny clever stuff e.g. focus more on paws on the floor (ie no jumping up), than rolling over.

All breeds have their plus points and their negatives. Then of course you have the outliers who don't act as you'd expect a particular breed to. But in general the plus points of a GR are that they are biddable, loving, eager to please, fun, good natured, easy to train (because they see food and fuss as worthwhile rewards), easy going and much more even tempered and easy going than a lot of smaller breeds.

Disadvantages include their lust for life which can translate into being over enthusiastic, or worst case scenario downright boisterous. But IMO this is quite easy to train them out of with a consistent approach. I walk several very enthusiastic labs and GR but none of them jump up and all sit in nanoseconds when asked to do so.

They have a reputation for resource guarding but this isn't something I've noticed. Please do read about this though- many of the old fashioned methods of fixing this really can make the problem a whole lot worse and a more modern consistent approach should mean it is never an issue.

I honestly think that a GR's enthusiasm is a much better problem to have and much easier to fix than other less gregarious breeds which are more easily wound up, more likely to snap and less eager to please.

I'd recommend the book 'Easy Squeezy Puppy', also ensure you use a reward based force free trainer and bear in mind that mostly trainers train the owner for an hour a week- the owner then goes home and works on training the puppy, and this works much better if everyone in the house takes the same consistent approach.

Things like not jumping up need to be non negotiable and to achieve this you'll need a consistent approach from all family remembers (and also visitors for a period of time).

Sit is another helpful tool as a dog which is in a sit is by definition still and safe.

averylongtimeago · 16/01/2023 21:50

We've had goldens for over 40 years- up to 3 at a time.
So - ime the girls are more biddable than the boys, just as bouncy when young, but not as big. You will need to train pup - dog training classes are essential. Do not underestimate the amount of time training (it's not "done" in a few weeks- it's an ongoing thing) and exercising takes , goldies need quite a bit of walking and amusing or they may go self-employed and a bored Goldie can be very destructive.
They also shed lots and love getting wet and muddy. They like rolling in fox poo. They like human company and can pine if left for hours on their own (see self-employment above) so not a good idea if there is no one around during the day.
They are loyal and loving and playful and, imo, make great family pets.

Realistically you will have to train your DC as well as the puppy and your pup will need a safe child free space to retreat to.

Hoppinggreen · 16/01/2023 21:56

I have had Goldies since I was 8 years old.
When I had my dc I waited until my youngest was 7 as I felt any younger might be difficult. I remember quite a few times my nephews and nieces getting knocked over by my Mums Goldies and also a friends family got a pup from the same litter as us and the 2 year old was badly injured after being knocked over by their dog.
I love Goldies, despite the mud and hair, they are generally good family dogs BUT they are big and clumsy and are bitey little gits as pups. DS really wanted to send ours back quite a few times !
In summary most Goldies probably won’t deliberately hurt a child (although some can resource guard) but they are big and can be clumsy so need good supervision around young children.