Adopting a very nervous lab

[doodleygirl]

We are in the process of rescuing a beautiful 2 yr old girl who has had a rubbish start in life. She is gentle, loves other dogs but very nervous around humans.

The rescue has already given us some great advice but I was wondering if anyone else has adopted a nervous dog, what advice would you give.

Have a very long think about if you’re going to be able to cope if she is never people sociable.

As in, don’t take her on if you’re assuming that it’s a temporary issue and actually longterm you’re going to need her to be ok with other people.

Obviously it’s fairly likely that after settling in and a significant amount of work she will improve, but it needs to be a bonus if she does because there’s always the chance she may stay the same or get worse.

In what way is she nervous?

lots of enrichment you can do around the house as a nervous dog might find daily walks to much

Sorry I mean is she ok once she gets to know people etc what behaviours does she display when meeting new people?

sounds like you’re prepared tho and will love and fuss you’ll likely have a new dog in a few months

Nervous can mean anything from a bit jittery but generally nice - to incredibly fearful and therefore aggressive. The former can be worked with, the latter is very different and has the potential to become quite dangerous.

I'm a dog walker and of my clients is a very nervous rescue Labrador. He's very sweet-natured and not remotely aggressive but it takes him a while to warm up to people and he's very jumpy and can be quite protective of the people he does know well (ie. me, his owner and her family). He's really not good with children as he's just absolutely terrified of them.

He's come a long way in four months but there is still a long way to go. He loves other dogs but as he's so scared of people it's like he doesn't know what to do when he meets a dog with a person on a walk. He wants to play with the dog but doesn't want to go near the person so he can be very jumpy and hard to control at times. He's strong and I have to have a firm hold on his lead and/or harness to stop him.

I think you need to be prepared for this to be a project and for her to never become people-sociable - you also need to be realistic about how limiting it could be - especially if you want to have people over, or take her to a pub or something after a walk. Holidays are another thing to consider - how will she cope in kennels, for example, or with a sitter? Are you willing and/or able to take her with you all the time?

As has been said nervous can mean different things. I adopted a scared Lab, not nervous but scared. I once owned a nervous Collie, that was something quite different.
With both but more particularly with the Lab, the most important thing I learnt is to go at the dogs pace, never force and most things will come in time. It's easier said than done. You think you should be doing something but actually stepping back and just letting them be is more helpful.
I have other dogs and that has helped enormously. She, even now, takes her cue from them.
She is happy and because I keep things within her comfort zone she rarely reverts now to the scared creature she was. My greatest joy has been to see that transformation

Thanks everyone, I think it is scared rather than nervous.

She arrived at the rescue very very scared, has only been there a few weeks and is now really happy with the staff who work with her, she runs up to them, likes cuddles and kisses and will happily sit with them. It’s new people she is nervous with, By the time we left today she did allow us to stroke her. I’m hoping all of this means she will eventually feel comfortable with new people without feeling so frightened.

How dogs behave in rescue can be very different to how they behave in a home - so do take her behaviour with a pinch of salt.

The dog I walk is amazing with me now he knows me - I can take treats from him, feed him, towel him off after walks, fuss him, put his harness on/off and do all sorts with no drama - but that's not at all what he's like people on walks. He's nervous, jolty, will pull away and try and run if they approach him. If he was off the lead and approached by a stranger, there is no doubt in my mind that he would bolt.

Just be prepared that it could take months/years to get her used to strangers on walks. It's not at all the same as her getting used to the people see sees every single day, and who feed her and take her for walks.

Ditto what others have said about "nervous" covering a wide range of situations, and being prepared for this being an intrinsic part of her.

One of the biggest things is to ensure that no one touches her without her permission. This means absolutely no strangers should touch her in the park; you can get special garb to reinforce the standard advice that people should ask before stroking a dog
www.saintroch.co.uk/ask-before-stroking-lead-cover-/-slip-p421.html
www.saintroch.co.uk/personalised-items.html
(Personally I favour "ask before stroking" over more general "nervous" things which don't tell people what is required of them. It's crucial you avoid interactions she finds uncomfortable; the last thing you want is to create a dog that feels so uncomfortable around strangers that they start barking the moment they see one, in order to make the stranger go away (aka reactivity).

In the house, let her come to you for affection. Don't approach her.

Learn the signs your dog is looking uncomfortable and give her space when she is.

Every unwanted interaction is a negative for her, and will set things back. Every time she chooses to interact with a human is a step forward - but she has to make that decision when she feels comfortable enough.

I adopted mine and he has a slightly murky background. He spent the first 6 months preferring that I didn't touch him - he'd sit at the foot of the bed, near enough for comfort, too far for me to touch him. Nowadays he jumps on me, asks for a stroke and offers face kisses. 5 years in he still has a small human social circle - humans in the parks are ignored, dog bums are sniffed enthusiastically. I stop other people from touching him when he's on lead, by means of one of the lead slips linked above, but very occasionally he has been known to permit another dog walker to give him bum scratches (I was in shock the first time that happened, after about 3 years).

Yours is unlikely ever to be super social with humans; the best you can hope for is a dog that can run around the park, ignore the humans and be friendly with the dogs.

But if she’s always like that with new people? Would that be an issue?

Will you be able to deal with at least a decade of carefully managing every single new person? not taking her to public places with lots of people? Avoiding things like busy family Christmases or birthday celebrations at home? Are there children or potential children that are going to want play dates and sleepovers?

Will you be able to quite forceful with the sort of people either relatives or sometimes strangers who when you say, she’s scared if people go - oh dogs love me and try an force and interaction?

Obviously, hopefully, she would get more confident because a scared dog is stressed and it’s a wee shame for them if nothing else.

But I think it’s really important to weigh up the worst case scenario when taking on a dog with a known issue, because the last thing you want is to take her and then realise it was a mistake.

If you’ve already done that and you’re confident it’s not going to cause a problem for you, then fab, and fingers crossed she’s a completely different dog this time next year, but my advice with a known issue is always just to make sure you’re ok with the dog as it is.

I've experience, but from the other end of seeing nervous dogs I've fostered going on to their forever homes. You have to ask yourself how much you are prepared to give up for this dog - if she never copes with people coming to your house. If you are happy to never to go to a pub/cafe with her. If you can't walk in busy areas with her or walk on the road at all. If you couldn't walk her with other people with dogs. If she couldn't go to kennels/ dog boarder/ a friend when you are on holiday. All these are possibilities that you have to consider and accept that they might happen.
One of my former fosters wouldn't come out of her crate for a week when she first came to us. It took her new mum 2 years to get her to go on a walk happily (though she was happy to go running before that, weirdly it was OK), and many months of the dog being able to cope with the small number of people she worked with coming into her office.
Of course some dogs recover quickly, but if she's had 2 years of abuse, that is a lot of ingrained trauma to deal with.

I agree that you do need to look at how the dog is now and really consider if you can live with the dog as she is now.

She may not change - is that ok with you?

Do not think she is missing out by not interacting with other people. She may never want to and it is wrong to think that you can "fix" her to make her enjoy peoples company. She may but equally she may not and just getting her to be calm and not stressed around people may be the end goal.

Never ever compromise her eg ask strangers or people to give her treats. This will increase her fear. She will want the treat but the scary people have the treat and conflicting emotions will be a lot for her to deal with.

Get professional help in from the beginning to check your timing and understanding her body language.

Take things ridiculously slowly- no rushing her out to meet people or inviting friends around for possible weeks.

Hello!

Just to say thank you for rescuing her and giving her a lovely home! We rescued a nervous beagle so I feel like I have some experience in this. Our boys nervousnesses was towards people. He would bark if they approached and in the house he'd generally hide away from everyone including us for a long time.

Top tips based purely on my experience;

• it takes time! Super slow introductions in open spaces where she doesn't feel trapped.

• Give her a safe space full of blankets to retreat to, i.e a crate in another room

• If she's food motivated, hand feed her to build a bond

• If guests visit, greet them first outside the house so she doesn't feel like they're invading her space.

Depending on your lifestyle, it could be a huge change for you but it does get easier and ours now is so much better and happier!

Good luck! :)

Thank you everyone, we have lots to think about

Personally, I think it depends on your lifestyle, and her reaction to strangers. Does she lunge and become aggressive, bark constantly when meeting strangers? Or just take herself away from the situation (quietly) until she feels more comfortable.

If you life a quiet life and don’t have any children living with you or visiting regularly, and you don’t want to travel with the dog you might be okay.

The problem is she might not change, this could just be her temperament. Our first dog would bark at strangers, then she would settle after about 15 minutes. If however that “stranger” moved, she would start again. She started doing this at 12 weeks old, and didn’t have a bad start at all, she had a great one actually.

You couldn’t stop to talk to people on a walk, couldn’t take her to a pub or restaurant because she would start barking at other customers. She also resource guarded, another fear based behaviour.

Once she started snapping at my son we knew we had to rehome her. She went to live by the coast with a couple that don’t have lots of visitors, almost no children at all visiting the house. They tend to keep themselves to themselves and she is much happier. She still does all the behaviours she used too though!

I guess what I’m trying to say is this may be a dog that has to live a very quiet life, you might not be able to take her places with you, if your okay with that then I would go ahead.

Our new puppy loves people, he’s confident and friendly and whilst we still have things to work on they are much smaller issues. He can go places with us and we enjoy having him in a way we didn’t with my first dog, who we loved but found very difficult to manage.

I would echo the above. She may always be nervous of new people and if her boundaries are overly pushed this could get worse and turn into fear agression.
Things to think about are, having friends and DCs friends over. Children in particular can be very noisy and overwhelming.
What will you do if you need workmen in the house and she is scared of them
Avoiding busy parks/places like the lake and peak district in summer if she’s stressed by new people
Not being able to take her to pubs etc
Finding people to look after her when you go away, this could be really stressful for her.

I really appreciate your thoughts and experience. After talking to our vet we have decided she is not going to be for us which is really sad but she is a beautiful girl and I think the right people will adopt her. We will continue looking.