Neighbour's big dog keeps jumping up at me

[pattihews]

I live out of town, down a very quiet lane that ends at my house. 50m up the lane is my neighbour, a lovely woman who always has two or three dogs, most of them rescues. I like her very much and I like her dogs. I don't want to cause ructions.

Her latest rescue is a young (8 months) labradoodle-type. Big bouncy boy, lovely nature — but he jumps up at me and everyone else. It's winter, it's muddy and he leaves huge muddy paw prints on my chest and abdomen. Because the lane is so quiet he's never on his lead when she takes him for a walk and I'm getting increasingly pissed off at having to change my clothes after encountering him. It's happened several times and it's not so bad when I'm in walking gear or a waterproof coat, but we were going out for the evening a few weeks ago and went out to the car parked in the lane. The dog came bounding out of the darkness, soaked and filthy, and jumped up and left mud all down my posh top and trousers and even in my hair and on my face. A few days later we were packing the car at 7am before going away for Christmas and he appeared and jumped up at me and left something stinky on the top I was wearing and I had to go and change. His owner saw what had happened and apologised, but it's happened again twice in front of her and she's now a bit 'Oh dear!' about it. This morning I went out to the car and he came tearing up the lane and caught me again. She came into view a minute later, with her other two dogs, and saw me trying to brush the muck off and this time she didn't say anything, just called him to her and turned into her drive with a little wave.

Is there a polite way to ask her to keep him on a lead around here until he's learned not to jump up? I really don't want to offend someone who's otherwise a very good neighbour.

As you haven’t said anything she probably thinks you don’t mind and it’s easier for her to allow it to carry on than deal with her out of control dog. I’d try telling the dog off first in ear shot of your neighbour. A ‘get down!’ and she might realise you don’t like it!

I’d have gone absolutely batshit about this by now op, I honestly don’t know how you’ve kept your cool! She is completely unreasonable and she knows it. If you’re worried about talking to her, remember not everything negative has to be a confrontation. Just give her a knock and say could you do me a massive favour and not let your dog run loose please. He’s jumping up on me every time I leave or come home, and he’s smearing mud and poo on my clothes. I’d stick a note through her letterbox if you’re worried about talking to her

Simply hand her dry cleaning tickets. She can collect and pay. And bloody mean it op.

You’re going to have to complain. It isn’t that hard to put him on a lead as she gets near your house.

Maybe drop her a note or a text saying you know she’s doing a fab thing for these dogs and you can see it must be hard work but can she please put him on a lead when she’s walking him near your house as your clothes are getting damaged.

I’ve recently thrown away a v nice pair of trousers because a stranger’s dog jumped up at me in street and sank his claws into the cotton ☹️ fed up of it.

Okay: thanks for confirming that I'm not being unreasonable. She knows I'm not happy with the situation. She's heard me telling him to get down and when he ruined my Christmas outfit I told him off and also yelled to my partner, who was in the car, about having to go back indoors and change because the the f*ing dog had covered me in mud. It was dark and I couldn't see her but I'm sure she would have heard. I'm not normally a sweary or shouty person so perhaps my response scared or embarrassed her and that's why she's backed off.

I'm going to go round to hers and say I really, really don't want us to fall out over this because I think both she and the dog are great, but please, until this jumping up issue is solved, could she make sure he's on a lead until he's well away from the houses. It's such an easy solution: put him on the lead as she leaves the house or returns from a walk. I can't understand why she hasn't already started doing that.

I would hate this! We were out walking in our village a few days ago and a lady had two dogs off the lead, both of whom proceeded to circle us, bark and jump up at us. One was very large, bigger than my son. We all ended up with muddy pawprints and the woman just ambled along slowly making half-arsed attempts to recall them. If your dog won't recall, don't let it off the lead. Ridiculous, I detest how dog owners assume everyone is happy to be jumped on, slobbered on, barked at. I don't care if it's 'just being friendly'.

I’m a dog owner and this is 100% unacceptable! She should be doing a lot more to combat this - and shouldn’t be allowing it at all.

Not that you should have to do this, but if the dog does it again, raise your knee up, it works a treat as they can’t get at you and you then can push them back away with your foot / leg.

Good tip, I'll try it. I've had dogs myself so I'm not scared of this one who is just a bouncy teenager wanting to say hello. I've also had dogs that jumped up for treats and struggled to control them, though they were small so worst case scenario was a smudge of mud at knee level. Even so, I was always mortified to see them doing it.

I just don't understand why she doesn't walk him on a lead when it would be so easy. I wonder if he pulls badly so it's easier to let him loose? I'll go round after lunch and see if she'll speak to me.

No, you're definitely not being unreasonable, and you do need to go and have a word with her. "I like your dogs but I don't like them covering me in mud, and it's caused us inconvenience when...."

FWIW the best technique to deal with dogs that are jumping - or likely to - is to turn around, backs to them, arms folded, and being quiet. In other words, be super boring. They all get the message quite quickly that you are zero fun, whereas pushing them off, screaming and similar can cause them to think it's a game. It won't save your next outfit from every speck of mud, but most dogs get the message very quickly so it should reduce things on every occasion and the dog should cotton on that you're generally boring after a few repetitions.

She can’t be that embarrassed if she’s still letting him do it. The solution isn’t hard is it?

Right. Just went out to put some more rubbish in the bins that have been waiting at the collection point on the lane for days. I bumped into my neighbour as she was coming out of her house to get into her car and asked her if she'd keep the dog on the lead coming and going along the lane because he'd jumped up and muddied me several times now. I made a big point of saying what a lovely dog he is, but how big and with such huge mucky paws. She apologised and said she was working on it but he was quite a handful at the moment, so much so that he's pulled her over on the lead. I've suggested a halti-type contraption and she agreed that might help. She went out of her way to point out that she's never experienced this with her other dogs and we had a trip down memory lane remembering all our long-gone dogs. It was a reminder that most of her rescues have been older, placid types and I suspect she's out of her depth. I guess I just have to wait and see.

I think it prob is being a bit out of her depth. My DSis has an adult labradoodle who behaves beautifully now. At 8m he was like Zebedee! He did calm down eventually. It sounds like you handled it well. The thing that worked with our collie at that age was hooking a thumb in her collar so she couldn't jump, then getting a sit abd loads of praise. BUT obviously out and about she had to be on lead too because she was a bugger for jumping if not.

I have an 8 month old goldendoodle. He is a big bouncy nightmare... And for that reason he is on a lead. If he keeps pulling her over then there are things that will help with the pulling as you have suggested, or just a really bloody good harness and clip on both back and front for max control.

Yes, grabbing him by the collar and hoicking him down is a good idea. Problem is that when he comes bouncing up in the dark with no warning he catches me unawares.

Teenage dogs are really hard work, but that's absolutely no excuse for having them off the lead when they leap all over people. Honestly, I'm not surprised you're pissed off.

If you know your dog jumps, you put it on a lead around people - it's not hard. My own dog was a nightmare for trying it when he was younger - but we had him on a short lead and made him sit instead. Eventually it sunk in, but it took a lot of practise and he'll still try it if he thinks someone has food 😉

Sorry @pattihews I meant for the owner to catch the collar. It does kind of work in that it shows the dog what you want as well as allowing you to reinforce it with praise, our girl never really got veing ignored, she just carried on pestering! I agree you can't grab the collar of a dog jumping you at in the dark and tbh if the dog is that bouncy and impulsive and you are getting in the car she shd puton lead anyway as it doesn't sound v safe. She has my sympathies though as getting excitable puppies to stop jumping up is really hard, plus with the best intentions people undermine you all the time by saying 'i don't mind' and fussing the dog when she does it. you are doing your neighbour a favour by setting boundaries on this

I don’t understand why you’re so relaxed about this?! If it’s annoying you (which would be entirely reasonable) then I think you need to be much clearer to your neighbour that this behaviour by her dog is absolutely unacceptable. If she can’t manage the dog on a lead that’s her problem. It doesn’t mean she should just leave it to bound up to strangers like this. I feel annoyed for you!!

It's a lovely, bouncy dog. Yes, I'm annoyed but not devastated or punitive. I like dogs and I know, as others here have pointed out, that it's just a phase the dog is going through and it can be worked on. There are things in life you can't control and trying to find a way through the situation which means the least possible distress for all — me, neighbour and dog — is the best solution. What would you want me to do? Scream and shout? Threaten police or court action? Try and get the dog removed? Some things one just has to try and work through.

It will only be a phase if the neighbour prevents it from happening.... otherwise that dog will do it all his life

Being pulled over is not a decent excuse. She needs to train it.....

She is. His recall is better than most 8-month-old dogs I've known. Have you ever owned dogs? They're a work in progress till they're about 10.

Ha! Yes!

I have 2 German Pointers.

Youngest is 7 and I've never worried about him even approaching someone unless gestured to let alone jump up at someone for years! He wouldn't dream of it.

Speak up op
You are literally letting the dog and owner walk all over you..
Next time it happens you tell her " I'll send you my dry cleaning bill from now on. I'm sorry but this can't keep happening. Please put your dog on a leash until he is trained properly ".
Or whatever
Just. Speak up. This lady is a CF.