What breed…young kids and cats.

[lking679]

Hi all,

we’re considering a dog next year as used to walk friends dog on my lunch hour and really missing the walks after it was rehomed….
Currently have hands full with 6 week old baby but when on more of a routine in the next year or so we’ll be looking to get a dog.

what breed would you recommend? We have three kids currently aged 5, 2 and 6 weeks and 2 cats that are 4 years old.
My husband works from home full time and I work from home most days. Ideally though dog would need one main walk a day and when an adult be happy to
be left for 3-4 hours when we’re at kids parties etc and get on with the cats.

I was looking at a King Charles cavalier but separation anxiety and health issues have put me off. Basset Hound keeps coming up but I’m not keen on the look of
them but might be the best fit?
I love labradors but at the moment it’d be too big round toddlers. And springers and cockers might have too much energy!?

Any recommendations? (Rehoming charities won’t touch us mainly because of young kids but also because of cats).

If it’s all a bit much will try and find a dog to walk again through borrow my doggy but I find I don’t get any contacts as the owner has to pay to message me back, but it does provide insurance through dog walks agreed there so a bit stuck with the platform.

I wouldn’t get a dog with a toddler. Puppies bite and can be absolute jerks, even toy/companion breed puppies, toddlers have issues with impulse control… it can go quite wrong

Another point to consider is how soon would you need to leave a puppy for 4 hours, it’s something you will not be able to do straight away and will need work and training to get them to be left nicely.

I have to say that my first piece of advice would be to wait for a bit.

DC need to be constantly supervised round dogs, and it's considerably easier once DC are school aged and a lot better at both understanding and following instructions.

Also, you can't leave puppies for any length of time - it has to be built up to, little by little. So think about what times of year might work with less need to leave the dog.

What sort of size dog are you after? How much grooming are you up for? Where do you stand on drool?

If you have reasonably feisty cats, they'll probably sort out the puppy's manners to felines all by themselves. But you will need to make sure the cats have a dog-free space when they want to be left alone

If you get a puppy, the puppy will at some bite bite the toddler, you’ll panic and rehome the dog, and then your child will be upset etc etc. I’m so sorry but it isn’t a good idea at this time.

I’d do borrow my doggy until your child is old enough to know what to do around a puppy.

We only leave for 4 hours if we’re going somewhere not dog friendly like the playpar/soft play. We could easily avoid that and go to dog friendly places instead until we feel the dog is old enough. Or leave for shorter amounts of time.

I take the point about toddlers and puppies but my MIL has a cavapoo and it’s been fine with our 18 mth- 2 year old (she’s had it 6 months and she comes to look after toddler on Fridays with the dog). And I find with reinforcement the toddlers learn good boundaries with our cats and how to treat them.
Ultimately though I might wait longer and see if anything comes good through borrow my doggy.
Would still need a good family breed, cavapoo is lovely but again not protected from the cavalier health issues just because it’s a cross.

Btw from July 23 kids are in childcare 4 days a week… but yes still might be best to wait.

Honestly, for your own sanity, I'd wait until the youngest is at least in nursery if not primary school. You can't compare how it works with borrowed or family dogs, to having a dog 24/7 and entirely your own responsibility, especially through the nightmare puppy stage when you'll need eyes in the back of your head. If you think you have no sleep with a 6 week old now, it will be worse with toddler, young kids AND puppy.

Sure, some people manage it, but there is always literal blood (those puppy teeth are sharp), sweat and so many tears.

I got a puppy when DD2 was 16 months. Honestly, I really regret it and wish we'd waited. Sorry, not what you want to hear

No that’s all good advice thank you!
Will try borrow my doggy again. Tbh might wait and get the lab, it really is my favourite breed!

My sister got a labradoodle when her youngest kid was 3, and it was fine. My other sister got a sprocker when her toddler was 2, he’s a lot more energetic and that was more of a challenge but she managed it…. Not sure she’d wish to repeat it though.

I find the dog walks really good for my well-being, especially working from home and it’s a busy dog park/woodland with lots of meeting other owners and a quick chat but will see if I can offer walks for now rather than take on a puppy in the next 12 mths.

Here's an anecdote that just happened to illustrate my regret. Pup is almost 6 months old and been here since 8 weeks. DD 23 months and I just got back from nursery- I'd walked him before I picked her up and put him in his crate while I collected her as it takes an hour. Normally DP or 11yo DD would be here and he wouldn't need to be crated but both out doing Xmas stuff. It's hard coping with both alone but needs must...

Came home, breastfed toddler and have her a snack and shut her in the tv room with something I knew she'd watch while I took pup out of crate and in garden. Dog wee'd outside so brought him in room with us where he stole DDs snack and ran off and started pooing in hall. Managed to stop him, get him in garden where he refused to do any more poo. Meanwhile toddler managed to stand in the poo he'd done inside then trample it thru the house and get herself tangled in the Xmas lights leads. This is just 5 minutes in the life of managing a toddler and a puppy

I have a puppy right now, I am familiar with dogs, grew up with them and had dogs pre kids. However having a puppy with kids is a totally different ball game. My youngest is almost 5 and it's a challenge to train him how to behave around the puppy resulting in a lot of stress and me unable to do anything else at all! My eldest is 10, she is totally fine, helpful on board with the training.

I waited until my youngest was this age but tbh I think I should have waited a couple more years. I really would reconsider a puppy with such young kids

Thanks for that! Might re-read it when I’m feeling like I could do it. What is your pup?!
ideally it’d be a dog like that I could offer to take out on a few walks a week and give you a break!

How about volunteering for a charity like the cinnamon trust until you can have your own dog. I did it and loved it.

I was also going to suggest the Cinnamon Trust.

We have a cocker and I’d say if you don’t want separation anxiety issues they’re out for that reason. I’d also agree with the rest, youngest is 7, have 4 children and my god it is full on. Add to this of course that our little guy just wants people there all the time but yes we’ve had some issues, him being a puppy and thinking it’s okay to jump up and it was actually my 14yo who got a fright (because they’re nippy when young and while I always had a teddy for him to grab, he of course didn’t). We learned quickly that he can’t be left alone with the kids which is exhausting. He is a legend but it’s honestly too full on while you have a young child like that. Really sorry

Oh my God Cavily, that sounds like a nightmare. One day you might look back at it and laugh 😬.

I have a close relative with a beautiful Sprocker Spaniel, he's adorable and has calmed down a lot, but he was an absolute pain in the arse for about 8 months, I would say he was much more difficult to look after than a toddler. He wanted to eat or wreck everything he saw as a puppy, you couldn't take your eyes off him. And teething puppies nip people and it hurts, you'd have to be so vigilant. When you're ready for a dog I'd recommend a Sprocker though, he's so affectionate and funny.

Show-bred cocker? They are rather more chilled than a working cocker.
Or a Border terrier.

I don't think you have the space in your life for this kind of commitment. I only managed it because I spent a full year training the dog perfectly before having kids and wasn't doing too much else except child rearing afterwards. If she had been a puppy there would have been no chance.

It would be one for the memory bank if this wasn't a regular (if slightly less comedic) occurrence every time I try to manage the pup and Todd myself. I'll laugh tomorrow tho x

Yes I’ll look into cinnamon trust.

i’m not sure it’s always so bad… as I say both my sisters got dogs with young children. The one with the labradoodle now has another baby. She has a dog walker to help. I think you just have to be realistic and helps if kids are in childcare/school. Lots of people have young children and dogs and it can be good for both.
I’ve also always had a family dog. My parents had two dogs, twins an 18 mth old and two teenage boys! Not that we twins were planned! :s

I’ll look into cinnamon trust for now though and have another think when kids are older. My main enjoyment is walking dogs so happy to do that. I also know what an emotional toll losing a family pet is and thats what has put me off previously.

Most people I know with young children and dogs didn’t have a puppy and a toddler at the same time! Older dogs and kids can be wonderful. Puppies and toddlers, not so much. Also a word of warning on labs, amazing dogs as adults but very mouthy as puppies and cockers tend to be prone to rescource guarding, which I don’t love around very small children

My youngest was 9 and it was still a nightmare. Couldn’t leave them alone together at all. Child would wake dog up all the time with general noise, bouncing about. I couldn’t get anything done when puppy was awake because she was into absolutely everything and I needed eyes in the back of my head, literally had to have eyes on her constantly for the first year. Child ended up feeling very jealous and a bit neglected as all my attention was on the dog and I was constantly telling them off for waking the dog up just as I was about to do something productive.
I also ended up having to leave 9 year old home alone a lot as the novelty of dog walks wears off quickly in the winter.

We’ve got our first puppy. A border terrier. Our last dog was an adolescent when we adopted her. We also have one very laud back senior cat (dog savvy and not phased by pup).

I cannot imagine doing it with young kids. Or any kids. It’s relentless. The biting is horrible. The managing her around the cat is hard work even though he’s cool about it. Our house is divided so she doesn’t bother him (all puppies want to play with cats). OH WFH flexibly so we’re not having to worry about leaving her until she’s ready - which at 4 months she is nowhere near. It’s a ridiculous amount of work, worry and thought. I know people do it but personally it’s a level of stress I’d not cope with.

I wouldn't consider getting any dog (especially not a puppy) until your youngest is primary age.

Puppies are hard work - they bite, they draw blood, they jump, they chew, they destroy your stuff in the blink of an eye and toilet all over the floor. They also can't be left for long periods so they're hugely restrictive - for example, what will you do if the puppy can't be left without toileting everywhere, and you have multiple nursery runs where he can't come along?

As it gets older, you need to factor in walks. Your kids aren't going to want to get up an hour early for school to walk the dog so one parent will need to do that while the other stays home. Then, if you're all at work, you'll need to factor in the costs of a dog walker or daycare, as lots of adult dogs would struggle on their own for 4-8 hours a day.

You don't want to be dealing with all of that, plus basic training, when you have toddlers in the house.

I wouldn’t have any dog with a toddler. Your child needs to be old enough to listen and understand when you teach them how to behave towards the dog.