Really Struggling- St Bernard

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I'm so fed up at the moment and just feel like crying.

I have an 18 month old St. Bernard and a 6 year old Jack Russell Terrier. I'm really struggling to cope but everything that is upsetting me are all very obvious things, like the state of my house with hair and slobber and dog smell- what did I expect? I can clean the house top to bottom but it still smells like dog and there's nothing he or I can do about it, he gets groomed regularly.

He's terrible with new visitors to the house and my JRT eggs him on except when JRT greets people excitedly, he's small so it's not a big deal and settles down quickly. When the St. Bernard does it's a nightmare. I've now stopped having visitors except my closest (most robust) friends. Although to be fair to him, it doesn't last for long either before he settles down.

I made such a big deal to get him, my DP didn't want to and my parents and in laws all thought it was a terrible idea but I knew best and sold the idea to everyone and here he is and I can't cope. I love him, he's a gorgeous and can be so gentle and sweet. Nothing is his fault, it's all mine.

Do I just have to suck it up? He's happy, healthy and well looked after. We're literally just back from the groomers where they've been saying what a gorgeous boy he is and so loving. So, even though I'm unhappy do I just keep pretending everything's fine? Dog's lives are so short, I don't want him to have disruption or any unhappiness.

Also, I'm not sure my pride can take it. I made such a fuss about getting him. I haven't told anyone in real life how I really feel.

(Sorry it's long, thank you for reading this far!)

Yes, you really do just need to get on with it. You have made a commitment to that dog for his whole life.

So you're two main issues are how he is with visitors to the home and how he makes the house smell, regardless of how much you clean?

One is a training issue. What happens if you contain him elsewhere when visitors come over? He needs to be taught to greet with his paws on the floor and then settle.

The other .. I take it he doesn't go upstairs? This at least contains it to downstairs. There's not really a lot you can do apart from the obvious which you're doing. They are huge, hairy and they slobber so all I can suggest is he's kept off soft furnishings and you always have a mop and wet cloths to hand!

@Paq do you have any actual advice for the OP or you just fancied kicking her when she's clearly down?

Simply echoing OP's own sentiments. No kicking intended. We've all had puppy remorse at one stage or another.

Best thing you can do for the dog is find a St Bernard rehoming centre and give him away. That is a lot of dog even for the most experienced person. He deserves a happier home and you hopefully will be happier if he went.

Please dont look at the financial implications. Make sure he goes to a loving home and move on.

@Tessasanderson this doesn't sound like a rehoming situation. OP is down about hair, drool and dog smell. She loves and cares for him. He sounds very happy with some training still to be done (he's only 18 months).

@OtterInABox I've just been in touch with a dog trainer and feel much better. The greeting people excitement issue, if resolved I'm sure will be a big help. Yes, you're right, he isn't allowed upstairs and with soft furnishings, it isn't his fault, he doesn't climb- he really isn't badly behaved, it's mainly him just coming with his big beautiful slobbery face for a cuddle that makes a mess, but it can be washed/wiped.

I think it's just getting me down. I need to remember he's still a young dog and things can be washed. He's happy and healthy and his life is short. Every time I feel like I'm struggling, I need to keep perspective. He's a lovely boy, he just needs me to work a bit harder to show him how to greet people nicely. The slobber can be washed and I'll invest in more candles!

@Tessasanderson thank you but I don't think I could rehome him, I love him too much and his life is so short I couldn't do it to him. He's a lovely boy and he isn't badly behaved at all. It's me with the problem, not him.

Thank you @Paq I think it is just that puppy remorse feeling, just delayed. I remember when my JRT was a bitey puppy from hell- now he's a dreamboat! My St. Bernard was the easiest puppy but it's this stage that I'm struggling with. I need to remember it's a stage and we'll get through it.

OP I think you are being really really hard on yourself. All dogs are hard work at times especially when young but a big dog does increase the stress.

It is ok to not like the slobber and doggy smell. It does not make you a bad owner.

I love my dogs to bits I have way too many of them but they are not allowed in my bedroom ever - whatever MNetters say. It is my one dog free area and it keeps me sane.

It is ok to limit your dog to areas of the house so you have some less doggy areas. It is ok to have wipe clean areas to help with the slobber (rather you than me )

I agree getting in a trainer to help with everyday training issues will help. Problem with a big dog everything they do is amplified so they have to appear to be perfect. However Bernies are bright dogs and will learn quickly. Good training will make your life much easier.

It is also ok to have a day off and let someone else look after your dog - let them take them for a walk to give you a bit of space. It is also ok to ask your family to help just because you instigated getting the dog they too can help you now and again.

You dont have to suffer for the next 10 years - it would be good if you could have fun and enjoy them.

I dont think you need to work harder you just need to work in the right way - a trainer should help with this.

Do be easy on yourself and acknowledge that dogs are hard work and it is easier if you have support. You do not have to be the perfect owner and can have days when you want a break.

As I say to my collies "that'll do" is often enough you dont have to be perfect

However you have been very very lacking in not letting us see a photo.

But…I mean it’s a St Bernard. Of course they are hairy and slobbery. I don’t…I mean I don’t want to be a bastard when you’re trying hard and keen to improve…I just honestly don’t understand why you expected any different.

I saw someone on TT who trained her dogs to bring visitors cushions instead of barking and leaping up.

I thought that was adorable.

And also, where are the photos?

I’m not really a dog person but have had a soft spot for St Bernards since the Beethoven movies.

@ScotlandEuropa I didn't expect it to be different as such, I just thought I'd be more OK with it. At my friend's house I'm absolutely fine. I didn't realise how wearing it is when it's your own house and didn't appreciate how much work my friend does to keep her home lovely!

@ShouldIknowthisalready Thank you. It's not difficult to see the joy in spending time with him, he's beautiful; I'm just worried it might be outing to post a pic! He does learn quickly btw, he just gets too excited with visitors so his manners go out the window. But, the fact he never jumps up at me, he just sort of presents his head- "you may love me now" or leans against me- "stroke my side", means he understands what I want from him/what's acceptable. I'm sure we'll both be happier with some training. My JRT is a nightmare for getting him in trouble though....sometimes I think he does it on purpose 😂

Sneeky little terrier

This is the reason I don't have a dog - let alone a St Bernard! I couldn't take the slobber.

So I think you need to get organised with that as far as you can. A stack of wet cloths in a tub that you thrust in his face on a regular basis and then pop in washing machine. I mean, it's practical advice I know but that's maybe what you need.

Do you have carpets? Could you consider flooring with washable rugs maybe? Carpets really hold the smell. Oh and if you can bear to in this weather, airing the house regularly

Good luck with it - sounds like it's getting on top of you so a few tweaks may help a little

You’re doing the right thing getting a behaviourist in for the visitor situation, the slobber and smell thing is just something you’ll have to live with. I imagine it’s very hard, I look after my friends St Bernard and she’s so lovely but I always have to carry a drool towel around the house. Like you say, they only have such short lives so you won’t have this problem forever. Hopefully he’ll calm down more within the next 6 months anyway.

He sounds lovely and like a great boy, you obviously care about him a lot.

a dog trainer will be able to help you with the greeting, and let’s be fair you are at the hardest point right now- he’s excitement levels will be at their peak right now, and he’s at his biggest, you’re about to hit the downward slope as things get easier.

id teach something like a show a toy or even just give a long lasting chew to manage the situation with guests - whilst you are working with the dog trainer on manners

on the slobber I’ll see if I can find the video, but I’ve seen some slobberdogs owners put a towel in a bowl next to the water bowl and teach that after a drink they snuffle the towel to dry.

keeping an undercoat rake in your pocket on walks and just doing a quick two minutes over after every walk to remove lose fluff might help with the house smell- you can also get dog deodorants if it really bothers you

it sounds a bit like puppy blues to me. Having a dog is hard, particularly if you feel like you’re doing it all by yourself or not getting the support from those around you.

perhaps use a daycare or kennels for a day or two to give yourself a break. I think you’re doing well. Best of luck

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I blame the JRT 😉 You can cope with JRT hair OP, the little blizzarding bastards get the stuff everywhere...St Bernard hair is child's play in comparison, you can do this!

Behaviour sounds one of the more sort out-able which is great.

Re: smell - just be a bit careful with the candles and whatnot. Some dogs have skin allergies to the likes of scented candles, Febreze, etc....and the skin can then get a yeast overgrowth, which smells mankily doggy, so the owner sprays more products around and a vicious circle ensues. The most common sites for yeast overgrowth are ears, lip folds, armpits and feet so have a sniff and if you're not sure get a vet to check. Don't forget to check the JRT too..I have a spaniel and a JRT, both have a baseline slight "doggy" smell (undetectable to my jaded old nose) but the JRT is the one who occasionally gets yeasty and stinky (even to me).

I was really hoping to see a photo of the St Bernard himself .

18 mths is teenage stage. He will settle down as he matures and with consistent training.

I have a giant breed dog and the best thing I ever bought on the advice of the breeder was a blaster. It dries them off down to the skin and blows out any loose hair etc. To be used outside, they are powerful!
That and a good brush each day should help with the doggy smell.

Not much I can suggest with the slobber, they are a slobbery breed. (I assume you knew this?)

Then just relax a bit about the house. It’s your home and that includes your dogs. It might cleaner without them but it wouldn’t be same would it?

We have a Saint Bernard amongst our pack. - yea you need a blaster - ie a proper dog hair dryer. Good consistency with training. If you don't have hard floors get them and get rid of carpet so you can clean the floor everyday. Vacuum a lot and get rid of slobber on walls etc with bleach spray. If you do this you should NOT have a house that smells of dogs. Along with regular bathing (probably once a week for the saint) and clean bedding. Don't let the dogs on the sofa.

Dont forget the impact of the weather right now! It's grey and miserable. And cold and damp. We're spending more time indoors, yet everything feels slightly grubbier. Washing, floors etc take an age to dry...

It's the worst time but in a couple of weeks the days will start getting longer again.

Curveball, but maybe take some vitamin D?

Keep repeating: he's 18 months old; it'll never be as bad as it is now (probably).

As he ages, the world will become less exciting to him and visitors will take on a much more mundane hue.

If you can, find the humour in it all. I know that's a tall order when it all seems shit but humour will go a long way to getting you both through this.

Get support from a trainer, as you are doing. It helps to have someone else by your side who can reassure you that this is all normal and whose sole aim is to make life better for you and your dog.

And take photos and videos. Firstly, because it will help you see how far you've come but also because there will come a day in the future where a little piece of you wishes you could have your over excitable, over-sized puppy back instead of this boring old fart sleeping quietly at your feet. I promise .

I lost my St Bernard In her sleep was only 3 🥲🥲🥲

i would give anything for the fur and slobber 👅 to be back

I found baby bibs helped a lot , kepted her front dry and slobber free , always carry tissues to wipe the excess off before they shake

Brush daily out side x or Dyson do a doggy hair attachment was definitely a game changer

Each to their own. I dont see the room for improvement. He is getting towards his 'teenage' years and could become even more spirited. The op doesnt seem to be coping very well and its not enough to just love your dog, they both need to be able to live happy lives. He isnt suddenly going to start being less hairy, slobbery, huge. A bit of training might help but i'm pretty sure the OP knows that and would have done it 12months ago if she was really committed to it.

Thanks everyone! I really appreciate everyone’s input and advice.

This morning I was just totally stressed out. This afternoon he’s been good as gold and either my nose has adjusted or the house doesn’t stink, I don’t mind which! We have hard floors so easy to clean and fresh from his groom he looks and smells beautiful. He’ll stay hairy and slobbery but I can change, accept that part of him like I accept his gentleness and the fact he always makes me laugh. It’s a trade and when he’s sat with his massive head resting in my lap looking at me with his beautiful eyes, it makes me think I can deal with a wet thigh 😂

I spent so much time making sure he walks nicely on a lead (which he does perfectly), recall, house training etc that I think I overlooked excitement at guests. I’ll focus on that and I think that’ll help, I really do. I was just having a flap! A tough morning, rushing around and dealing with snow, I felt overwhelmed. I feel in control now and really do appreciate everyone taking the time.