When to venture back upstairs?!

[newpupworries]

We have an almost 10 week old Labrador pup who has been with us since Saturday. He's been sleeping amazingly well at night in his crate (last night was from 10.15pm to 6.50am) without needing to go out for a wee all. However, I'm sleeping on a camp bed next to the crate. The crate is covered top & sides so he can see the end of the bed but not me, but I think it's my presence that is helping him settle as he wakes up and has a little whimper every time I leave the room. I'm reluctant to leave him to cry as he's been so good and feel horrible doing so but I'm keen to get back in my own bed upstairs. Just wondering how long I should aim to carry on the current sleeping arrangements and if anyone has any advice? Thanks

We slept downstairs for about three weeks after getting our puppy at 8 weeks old. We gradually moved the crate further and further away from us until he could no longer see us (he has a nice little room under the stairs) and then went back upstairs with no issues. You could move your camp bed further and further away over the course of a week and eventually he'll just get used to you not being there or assuming you're still there.

I should also say that I'd stick with it as long as you have to. My dog sleeps without a peep in his crate from 10pm - 7.30am every night and it's one of the best things we've ever done for him (and us!).

I’d second not rushing. Our pup sleeps in a crate in our room and we get a good 9 hours a night if we want it. She’s 17 weeks now. We’ll move her out eventually but we’re in no rush. She’s not got the maturity yet to settle back down if she wakes up on her own. Good sleep is hugely important to puppies. I know lots of people whose pups don’t make a noise downstairs but they’re still not sleeping therefore training and behaviour isn’t as it should be (SA, general anxiety etc). Of course some are fine. Our last rescue slept in our room for weeks then we gradually moved her out with no problems. She was 6 months when we adopted her so much more able to self settle.

Me and DH took it in turns to sleep downstairs with our puppy. We did it for 3 weeks and after that he was fine.

After the first week we gradually moved the crate a little bit further away from the sofa.

Thanks all, that’s really helpful. I’m considering moving the crate upstairs for a bit but that wasn’t the original plan. He doesn’t nap in the crate during the day as it’s in the no longer used playroom and he tends to sleep in lounge or kitchen where we are. Do you think this is ok or should I be enforcing naps in the crate during the day (I’ve been sitting in there and doing work with music on the laptop to make it a bit more of a lively room!)

We don’t enforce naps. I want the crate to be a positive place not for them to be shut in. You can’t make dogs sleep tbh. Just encourage them to calm down with chewing or sniffing games then they tend to self settle. We use a yak chew or treats in a box. We have an upstairs crate just for sleeping and a downstairs one for treats, sleeps and crate games. Ours sleeps on the sofa, or under OHs office chair (he WFH) or in her downstairs crate. We need her to be ok in a crate long term as we travel and I also teach agility and need her to be happy crated while she waits in the car so that’s why we’re doing it the way we are. If you just want them to sleep in it as a pup it’s a bit different. Day time crate training takes months (did it with my last dog and it was a game changer for her). It’s personal preference but you may be downstairs for weeks or months.

ours only sleeps in her upstairs crate. She does not have general access to upstairs as it’s not safe for her.

We started by carrying her up when sleepy and putting her in and settling her down then shutting the door. Over the time we’ve had her (7 weeks) she is now carried up and she willingly takes herself in and sleeps. Occasionally we have silliness but we lure her in, shut the door and she then sleeps. So she associates that crate with sleeping. She gives us 9 hours a night on average.

Thanks @Newpeep that's really helpful. I've been stressing about the fact that he's not sleeping in the crate during the day but to be honest he'll sleep for ages in kitchen on a big cushion while I'm working at island so hopefully that's ok and I haven't broken him already! I think I just need to try and relax a bit more and try and build up time in the crate, which might help when his early evening bitiness kicks in!

Nope 🙂 Proper crate training takes ages. Months really as you have to build value. Ours now slams herself into her crate when I come in from work waiting for the goodies. She also takes treats in there to enjoy. So we know she’s finding it really valuable a space. yes you can shut a pup in and let them cry. Some get over it. Many don’t.

It really depends whether you want to use a crate long term as to whether it’s worth building value for your pup. But sounds like things are going well tbh. I’d just stick with what you are doing either sleeping with the crate or moving it to your room and moving it out over time.

Thanks again@Newpeep I think I just need to try and relax a bit more. I just need a safe solution for when I need to pop out and leave him for an hour or two (not yet but in a few weeks) A crate seemed to be the perfect option prior to getting him (and it's definitely worked for night times so far) but I'm wondering about having it open with a pen around instead as probably long term i won't need to use the crate.

I stayed downstairs on a mattress for the first 6 nights. Moved it further away each night until I was 2 rooms away in the hall. Then went back upstairs. Sunpup cried night 1,2 and 3 a little less each time. Since then he's been quiet. DH set alarm for 3:30 for another week to take him outside then moved the time back. By end of third week he was sleeping through until 6/6:30. By end of week four DH was waking him up about 6:45.

Oh and Sunpup loves his crate! Goes in on his own during the day and after his last wee he just comes in and heads straight for it. I think it helps that it's cold and his crate has fluffy blankets ( cheap teddy ones from Dunelm) and it's covered over as well. So it's pretty cozy.

Thanks for this. Is your crate covered at the front too. He does seem really settled in at night and it is a cosy little den. Just daytimes where he's not so happy

@newpupworries
Sunpup has his crate covered at the front at night, but not in the day and in the last week or so I've left it open once he's in during the day now I can trust him not to wee on the floor as long as he's not left too long. He's happy sleeping or just chilling in it. Tbh it's only really been in the last 2 weeks he's started putting himself in there. So stick with it!

Thanks for this, really appreciate it. Hoping we get a more chilled pattern in the day soon as it feels like at the moment he has lots of brief naps near where we are followed by intense bitey land shark! Not coping too well with it all if I'm honest

@newpupworries
In the daytime when Sunpup fell asleep I just scooped him up quietly and laid him down in his crate. He was usually so sleepy he just sort of carried on sleeping. Then sort of watched him until he started stirring ( before any crying) and got him out again. First few nights when he cried and I was next to him on a mattress I say "settle down " in a really monotone voice over and over and I am still using "settle down" to mean ssh lie down in your crate.
First night I said settle down for 8 minutes straight ( yes I'm such a control freak I timed it!) second night 5 minutes, then 2 then quiet straight away.
Apart from timing crying 🙄. I also wrote down everything Sunpup did and what time he did it and I mean everything! DH thought I was bonkers but it helped questions like " when did he last have a wee/ sleep/ food etc. then you can put down for nap, take out in garden, give food in a more planned way !! As I said - control freak! But it helped planning and also to see progress!
I found first few weeks tough and relentless. We've had him nearly 2 months now and it's still life changing but he's great and I love him loads!!
So hang in there! It will get easier and eventually you'll have a super pup and then a great dog!
Best piece of advice I was given - they're just little baby dogs - don't expect too much too soon.

Thank you for this @Sunflowers765 this is so helpful. I will start trying this today. I had a notebook of feeds and poos etc when my children were newborns so I would probably be able to handle this (I just didn't expect the same feelings of overwhelming anxiety that I had when they were newborns!)
Do you have noise going on in the room sunpup sleeps? He's in my kids old play at the moment so it's pretty quiet but I have been trying to work in there and have some music on etc.

Hi @newpupworries I have had the radio on Radio 4 because more voices less music but it's as much for me as for Sunpup! My sister leaves classic FM on for her dogs!

@newpupworries also Sunpup is in the extension leading off the kitchen so there's quite a lot going on, I think more likely to settle if they're not too isolated. But obviously screaming kids will wake them up!

Thanks @Sunflowers765 I think I'll just have to try and make the playroom as busy a place as possible with music playing (it's quiet at night though?) and persevere! Really appreciate all your help and kind words