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The doghouse

If you're worried about your pet's health, please speak to a vet or qualified professional.

Is it time to let her go?

17 replies

AnneTwackie · 22/11/2022 21:17

Our beloved Collie cross has had deteriorating health issues for the past few years. She’s 14 and is the loveliest gentlest dog anyone could wish for.
Her back legs are very unsteady, she sometimes wobbles and sit down. She has pain medication everyday for this which made a big difference at first so we could up the dose? She struggles to get up sometimes but when she goes for a walk she’s really happy and will trot around enjoying herself, we just need to be careful on hills. She’s completely deaf and I think her eye sight is failing too, they’re really cloudy. Her teeth are a mess but she still enjoys food.
The vet says to put her under anaesthetic to clean her teeth or investigate any other health issues would be too much at her age and I don’t want to cause her any pain and distress. She still has happy bits in her day and enjoys a little play or a stroke but sleeps a lot. Over the past two weeks she has sort of collapsed 4 times, she suddenly lies down on her side, breathes deep and then recovers 20 seconds later, then she’s fine- anyone know what this might be?
She has a cut on her nose from where another dog bit her a while ago, if she knocks it her nose sometimes bleeds, this has happened tonight to the point it’s dripping.
I feel like when I go to the vet she’ll ask me what I want to do and I don’t know. I’ve had dogs before and I don’t want to keep her hanging on until she’s miserable, she’s my husband’s first dog and he wants to carry on while she is still happy sometimes. The vet has said before it’s quality not quantity of life at this point but she’s not very empathetic. I just want someone to tell me what to do.

OP posts:
Idontdoyoga · 22/11/2022 21:25

Better a day too soon than a day too late.

Somehow you’ll know when the time has come especially if she becomes incontinent as that would likely be very upsetting for her.

Please don’t let her suffer. Take vet advice but sometimes I think vets will let the owner carry on medicating long past the euthanasia date.

Stay with your dog until the •very end•. She will look to you for reassurance and let your soothing voice be the last voice she hears.

We have the vet visit at home to put ours to sleep. Worth every penny.

I don’t envy what you're going through. I’ve been through it several times & still mourn all of them.

justcallmebozo · 22/11/2022 22:10

As Idontdoyoga said, somehow you'll know. You'll look at her and you'll feel it. Not by thinking about it, not by deciding, but just feeling that it's the right thing to do, and it's done out of love.
And it hurts like hell, but it's the last good thing you can do for her, to give her a good death.

I've done it a few times now, and the one time that sticks in my mind the most is the time i left it too long. Only a day too long, but i feel the guilt of that every time i think of it.

AnneTwackie · 22/11/2022 22:14

Thank you both. I don’t know if my husband and I will ever get to the same point with it but you’ve given me better ways to say what I’m feeling.

OP posts:
Santagiveyoursackawash · 22/11/2022 22:16

When I looked my ddog hard in the eyes I remember saying sorry and that it wouldn't be long. Her appointment was made... Knew it was time.

EcoCustard · 22/11/2022 22:22

We had to make the decision for One of our dogs quite suddenly last week, sadly paralysed from the waist down, I was desperately hoping the vet would be able to do something but his 13 year old face outside said it was time, just knew. Our dear cat was very old and over a few weeks she was in discomfort doing her regular activities, we watched her try to lie down in her favourite spot, and we knew made the appointment. The hardest decision.

justcallmebozo · 22/11/2022 22:27

@Santagiveyoursackawash - " I remember saying sorry and that it wouldn't be long" - me too, exactly this every time. Sorry that you got old and sick, but i'm on it. I'm doing the best, kindest, most loving thing that i can. And as soon as the decision is made i feel a huge sense of relief.

marmaladepop · 23/11/2022 07:35

Idontdoyoga · 22/11/2022 21:25

Better a day too soon than a day too late.

Somehow you’ll know when the time has come especially if she becomes incontinent as that would likely be very upsetting for her.

Please don’t let her suffer. Take vet advice but sometimes I think vets will let the owner carry on medicating long past the euthanasia date.

Stay with your dog until the •very end•. She will look to you for reassurance and let your soothing voice be the last voice she hears.

We have the vet visit at home to put ours to sleep. Worth every penny.

I don’t envy what you're going through. I’ve been through it several times & still mourn all of them.

Agree with all of this. It's about quality of life not quantity. So sorry for your situation OP. Been there many times. ❤️

greaterscott · 23/11/2022 07:37

Based on what I went through with my dog, I'd say the time has come. Dogs are very good at masking their discomfort and will always have pockets of "happy time". My dog got really excited when I put her in the car to take her to the vet that last time as she loved a car ride, it broke my heart ♥️

Santagiveyoursackawash · 23/11/2022 12:24

The guilt never gets better either way. We took pics on that last car journey.. The guilt. Had loads printed off of those last weeks and still can't put them around the house.. 3 years next Feb! The true test of a devoted ddoggy owner is making that last trip together...

AnneTwackie · 23/11/2022 19:00

Thanks all, she seems worse today but my dh seems further in denial.

OP posts:
justcallmebozo · 23/11/2022 20:11

Just my thoughts and every situation is different, but if DH and I were not in agreement about the timing, we would be making the appointment. To err on the side of "too soon" rather than "too late". To let her go before things get bad, because missing some possible good days is better than putting her through even one bad day - better for her, but also better for you to have good memories of how you spend your last few hours together.

greaterscott · 23/11/2022 20:18

You can't keep them going for your own benefit, as tough as it is to let them go.

AnneTwackie · 23/11/2022 21:55

Thanks @justcallmebozo that’s a really good way to look at it!

OP posts:
AnneTwackie · 25/11/2022 12:55

We let her go this morning. It was so peaceful for her, I feel relieved for her. I’m just writing this to thank posters for their support and incase anyone else has the same problem.

OP posts:
EcoCustard · 25/11/2022 17:11

@AnneTwackie 💐

Claudia84 · 25/11/2022 17:19

So sorry for your loss xxx

justcallmebozo · 25/11/2022 20:08

I'm so glad, OP, that you had a good end for your girl. That's really what matters most.

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