I'm not even sure why I'm writing this, but I'm just trying to make sense about what happened yesterday afternoon.
It was such a perfect autumn day I took my dogs (cocker age 9, springer age 2 and cocker age 1) to Salisbury plain for a good old stomp about - kids (6&7) and husband in tow too. We had a blast! Lots of laughter, throwing of leaves, basically a perfect Sunday afternoon.
Then, on the way back to the car, my beautiful 1 year old cocker, lay down and died. No sound, no dramatics, nothing. He was about 4 paces away from me happily bouncing around - I turned to chivvy the children along - turned back and he was lying in the grass completely still, he was gone before I made it to him.
I can't process it. How does this happen?? I lost a 2 year old springer in 2020 due to kidney failure so I have been OTT careful with my other dogs. They're fed the best food, walked at least an hour off lead every day, stimulated and fussed to within an inch of their lives. I cannot believe I've lost another super young dog.
What's worse is that my poor children witnessed it all - I didn't react well and tried to perform a haphazard attempt at doggy CPR. My husband then had to carry my gorgeous boy back to the car - a good 20 minute walk. He's my hero.
Did I do something wrong? My head says no but you always blame yourself. We drove straight to our vet and he said it could only have a been a heart attack to go so quickly.
So, that's that. He's coming home on Thursday and the children have decided we should scatter his ashes where we scattered our other dog so they can run free together. I'm so very proud of them, we had a few tears and lots of questions at bedtime but they seem content knowing he's not alone and with our other springer in doggy heaven.
It's so unfair