Rescue unable to take dog back

[fatherfurlong]

So......a few months ago I posted about my situation.
In short I got a rescue dog from a rescue. I had tried loads of rescues & got nowhere but this place contacted me said they offer support for life & take the dog back if the adoption fails. I had never had a dog before so was naive but saw a dog I liked asked how he was in foster which seemed fine and met our requirements.
I found it very hard, learned much on the hoof & talking to others. The dog was shut down on arrival but we persevered. As I had no experience I thought it would take a long time for us both to learn despite reassurances from the rescue that it could take as long as 6 months.
We are now 18 months in & despite the progress we have made I am still the only person who can stroke him/touch him which makes it a heavy burden for me as I am a full time carer & have arthritis( only diagnosed after I got the dog) He still growls at male members of our family. He will sometimes air snap if someone gets too close. So he has not bitten but I feel I can't trust him fully & am always on alert mode.
The rescue say there have been no responses to his advert & no fosterers either. We are now about 10 weeks since I filled out surrender forms. I stressed I would have to return him to a local rescue if his behaviour escalates( he can be very erratic) and they said OK but I feel embarrassed to call them as I feel its just passing the buck to another rescue & I see very few have a page about returning a dog so not even sure if they would be prepared to take him.
Anyone have experience of this?

Did you get him assessed and work with a behaviourist to address this?

I’m sorry OP.

It sounds like you have tried very hard but this is not a match that is going to work for you for health and caring reasons. You have thought this through and you feel guilty about it.

I almost had to surrender a cat to a rescue. He was an absolute nightmare who was making life hell for my family, especially after we had a baby and he was jealous. I was wracked with guilt but couldn’t carry on. In the end a family member was actually able to take him and he’s now an outdoor cat and living the life of Riley - we were not right for him

Try not to beat yourself up - it’s very sad but sometimes a pet relationship doesn’t work out.

I’d be wary of a rescue who would take a dog on with that if I’m honest. No rescue that I know of will take a dog for rehoming with aggression issues towards people.

What do you do with the dog then? Does that mean only option is to euthanise?

Yes we worked with 2 trainers and a behaviourist & altho initially it helped the desired behaviour never bedded in. We would have a few good weeks & things would then revert back to the unwanted behaviour.

Worked in a few vets for years pre kids and most of those who failed their behaviour assessments on aggression towards people from rescues were pts. Even if you rehome something as ‘suitable for homes with older children’ or ‘requires experienced owner’ which is what one’s with behaviour issues or training issues normally go under the issues you describe are well above that.

I’d be wary of the rescue you got it from. You’ve been fed a line about ongoing support and they’re unwilling to step in despite the type of issues you’re having after having told you that’s their policy. I don’t think I’m going too far out on a line in thinking this dog has had these issues pre your ownership and they knew about it.

Aware that it sounds like you got this dog during covid but normal rescues get you in to match you with the dog and see how you fit together, most also do home checks. Did you speak to the foster home of this dog? Or were you just told by the rescue that it was ”fine”? Because problems like you’re describing don’t happen overnight and while the foster home may have had a completely different set up to yours it’s unlikely that the dog as never come into contact with strangers or men there and reacted to them too.

Just out of curiosity… was this dog from here or was it an overseas rescue?

I'm so sorry to hear of your experience. I tried to rehome my DDog after my circumstances changed following my divorce and living arrangements changed and although the rescue said they would help they were more focused on rehoming new dogs rather than rehoming "failed rescues". I kept my girl in the end and it turned out well, but I understand your difficulties.

The dog came from overseas but was from a rescue based here. He was in foster for a fortnight before I got him so no time at all really for any problems to show.

Take a look at Southend dog training. They have turned around many on verge of being pts dogs

I could have guessed this dog came from overseas 😞

Given the state of dog rescue in this country I think you will really struggle to find somewhere who will a) take him and b) not put him to sleep.

You have a highly strung, nervous, reactive dog who growls and air snaps around more than half the population. A dog like that isn't safe to be re-homed anywhere except a highly specialised home with no children - something you're unlikely to find easily at the moment.

If this dog was in physical pain, everyone would tell you to have it PTS but when you say the same thing about a dog in emotional pain or stress, people look at you like you're some kind of monster.

Honestly, there are much worse fates for this dog than just going to sleep with his owner nearby and not waking up again.

I really feel for you op. And I'm disgusted by the "rescue" putting your family at risk like this. I'm in a similar position in that my dog has a lot of issues and is completely reliant on me. I have some experience but was unprepared for the impact on my life. It can feel suffocating at times and very isolating. And I don't have kids, or health issues on top.

I'm no rescue expert so can't really suggest much but I think there is a place in the NW that takes unplaceable dogs; they don't use kennels and I think they offer a home for life. I'll try and find the name.

I appreciate you may be past the point of no return but did you see a veterinary behaviourist? That has made all the difference for me. I saw other (accredited) behaviourists before and they were pretty useless tbh. It's surprising you're not still working with the behaviourist, as the dog is clearly not better! The vet behaviourist has prescribed medication for my dog and a behaviour modification plan; we are still working with them 12months in. They are also checking for physical causes, e.g
pain, gastro issues etc. Is it worth asking your vet for a referral? I have claimed all treatment through my insurance. But it is a lot of work and I'm not sure I could do it if I had a family, or would even want to.

In your position, the immediacy of my decision would depend on if I felt my family were at risk. If that is the case, the rescue won't help and you can't find a suitable alternative, perhaps you need to have a chat with your vet about euthanasia. The poor dog must be miserable living in so much fear and there are worse things than a quick peaceful end. If the dog is a bite risk, I would question whether it's even responsible to try and rehome it, unless somewhere very specialist that can guarantee they will not pass the dog on. Even then, you have to wonder what the dog's quality of life will be if its so distressed. For me, I feel that by going through the vets, I am exhausting all options but, again, I'm not worrying about my kids being bitten. I hope you find a solution for your family and I'm sorry you've had such a horrible experience. We live and learn but it's fecking hard sometimes! x

Dogs4Rescue in Manchester is the place I was thinking of. They specialise in overseas dogs. It looks like they do rehome though and I really don't know if they're any good. But maybe worth a look?

I agree and write this as a long term dog owner
if pain / illness has been ruled out and you are willing to pay for / try a behaviourist then I would.
In all good conscience though you cannot give this dog to a home where they might do serious damage to another person or child. It wouldn’t be fair on anyone.

sorry for this situation and I think the rescue have been anything but responsible

OP I am so sorry that you are going through this.

Most foreign rescues are not up to the standard they should be. Yours is a situation I hear daily in my line of work.

Many many street dogs are just not suitable for rescue and being homed in the UK. Some have generations of being street dogs and are hardwired that way.

UK rescues are having to pick up the pieces and I see the utter heartbreak that owners are having to suffer because of the inadequate foreign rescues.

However OP rant over and non of that helps you!

Do speak to other rescues although it will be very hard to find one that does accept the dog however you may be lucky. If the original rescue does not step up I would be naming and shaming and seeing if that makes them take on their responsibilities.

You have done nothing wrong in this situation do not in anyway berate or question yourself you are unfortunately another innocent owner who has been given a totally unsuitable rehome.

Do speak to your vet and behaviourist again . A qualifed behaviourist should offer support and help you make if necessary very difficult decisions based on the situation.

Very well put.

Thank you all for your replies, I really do value you sharing your thoughts as mine are all jumbled.

Despite his issues I have now had him over a year and I’m emotionally invested in him. I just couldn’t contemplate him being euthanised- after all, despite his growling and snapping he has not bitten any person or dog so there is a degree of self inhibition BUT it is the fear of thinking he could bite someone and I, despite the signs had done nothing to prevent it. He is a big dog and could do a lot of damage beyond a mere nip.

It’s almost always an overseas rescue when I read stories like this 🙁 The majority just aren’t designed to be pets.

If it were my dog I would PTS, I had a similar situation many years ago and the effect of my life didn’t really register until sadly the dog was gone. It’s no life for human or animal to be permanently terrified.