New puppy worries

[CockapooMadness]

Hi all
We are getting our cockapoo puppy on Friday and he will be 8 weeks. After spending days reading up on what to expect and trying to be prepared, I have managed to make myself anxious and scared that if I don't get it right I will be creating a damaged dog later in life. During the day there will be a crate in the lounge where we spend most of our time and one in the kitchen so that he can go in there when we eat our meals. One of my main concerns was what to do with him at night. Due to having cats sleeping in the kitchen overnight I have decided to have him in the bedroom with us. However, nearly everything that I read says about crating at night but due to the smallness of the bedroom this just isn't practical. My thoughts are to put him in his own dog bed my side of the bed with puppy pads and creating a barrier at the end of the bed so that he can't get out of the bedroom. For those of you that don't crate and their dog sleeps in the bedroom, how do you encourage him to stay in his bed during the night?

I would also like to get him into some sort of routine from the off (wishful thinking maybe) and was wondering what yours are? Particularly in the early evening up until bedtime as I don't want to over stimulate and end up with a puppy who mentally isn't able to sleep. I am at home all day and go to bed at 11.30pm so will be the one letting him out for last toileting and taking him upstairs.

I want to be able to be excited about bringing him home but am just feeling a bit overwhelmed I think and any other advice would be great. Thanks.

We didn't crate our pup at all. From the moment she came home she had a bed downstairs and a bed upstairs, and that was it. She soon found her places that she liked - she sleeps in her bed in the kitchen if we are out, but tends to curl up in the corner of a sofa in the living room.

Bedroom wise, I don't remember her up and wandering tbh. I did keep my foot/hand in her bed whilst she settled, but I don't recall her being unsettled and up. Now she mostly sleeps at the end of our bed, until she gets annoyed by our wriggling and then jumps down to her own bed.

I know it's frowned on by some, but mine has slept on my bed for 11 years. When he was a baby I'd put a puppy pad at end of bed and he used it a couple of times, then crawled back to snuggle against me.

For bed time I'd crate him in the lounge or kitchen. The first few nights will be tough he probably will cry but you can use tools to sooth him such as a warm Heat bag ticking clock etc have a look online there's loads of ideas. I have been known to sleep on the sofa the first few nights just for reassurance.
My advice would be start as you mean to go on however it's like having a baby it's a bit trial and error 🤣

Really no need to crate

themuttyprofessor.co.uk/2017/07/20/crate-debate-crate-not-crate/
Dogs are polyphasic sleepers. This means they sleep in short periods, like to get up and move around as well as changing positions.
Changing surfaces that they sleep on also helps them regulate their temperature.
Therefor, crating dogs goes against their natural way of sleeping and removes all option of them fulfilling this instinctive behaviour.

Remember that young puppies shouldn't have access to stairs.
Our last dog was older so already toilet trained. He was upstairs with us and our other dog with a gate to stop him going downstairs.

I'd be reluctant to have a puppy upstairs that wasn't crated, if you have carpet.

Could he have a crate in the hall? I don't think you have to use crates but even though we don't always use it, all our dogs have been crate trained.

Only has we've had has hated it.

He will be on your bed as soon as he’s big enough !
I like feeling that warm bump on the bed in the night

I think you either need to crate him downstairs and sleep downstairs with him while he settles, OR have him upstairs but accept that, as you have no room for a crate, he'll be in/on your bed and not in his own bed on the floor.

And please don't use puppy pads. You need to get up in the night and take him out to the toilet.

I meant to add, ours has slept upstairs in our bed with us since day one - he's never had a single accident at night and he's never once toileted in our bedroom either.

As we were both there, we woke up when he did and took him straight out to the toilet overnight.

Aww OP, don't worry! There is so much information online now and getting a puppy has become such a massive Instagrammable life goal, that it just places so much pressure on everything.

Focus on bonding and playing, training the basics in the first few weeks, and let go of anxiety. The best way to do that is to just expect things not to go to plan, and stay flexible and curious as you go along :) You could look at following a simple puppy course like the one on Zak George's website, etc.

In terms of puppo sleeping arrangements - I'd just pick one or the other. The living room downstairs, or in your bed. You could try teaching him to stay in his own bed in your bedroom, sure. But realistically you'll probably end up with him whining all night, trying to clamber on the bed, etc. You can always try it though. You never know! You'd have to just have resolve of steel and keep sending him back to his bed and prepare for some sleepless nights (which you may have anyway, regardless of where you put him).

For the routine - you'll work it out as you get to know his toileting habits and so on. Generally, very young puppies have crazy bursts of energy, then flop, then rinse, then repeat.

With our dog, we put him in his pen at specific times of the day to help him learn to settle. Late morning, mid-afternoon, and around 7pm. For an hour or two at a time. Then over time, he just started falling to sleep at those times automatically outside his pen. He's 2yrs old now and we do actually still use the pen in the evenings for a couple of hours, to give our cats a break and some quality time.

I've also found that a natural chew works well in the evening for settling. Relaxation Protocol is good for teaching settle. And having a calm night time routine of cuddles, grooming, checking paws, teeth, etc. - it not only signals bed time for doggo, but serves a double purpose of getting them used to handling and associating it with relaxation - which will make claw clipping, vet appointments, groomers, etc., easier.

Final thing is my secret weapon, which is that I rub my dog's chest slowly when it's time for him to sleep. He's out like a light in seconds, and I use this technique to settle him down if he's doing my head in 😂

Oh and we started with him sleeping in a pen to separate him from the cats. He now sleeps in my bed, because I caved and realise I love sleeping with his furry little warm body :)

Mine learned puppy pads at a very early age and will use them on command now, though he generally asks to go out.

I find the pads helpful during inclement weather, and when skunks are in my garden (often) and during travel.

My dog never wees indoors unless i put down the pad by the door and point to it. I place an empty loo roll tube in the center for him to aim at. He's small, so one pad is sufficient.

Works for us. And it's helpful on days I have to be out for several hours.

I let our puppy fall asleep on my bed then transferred her into the crate, she was so small I was worried about squashing her in night! Also worried about her chewing but I think I do over think these things.

She slept like this for around 5 weeks and now just sleeps on the bed and goes into her crate when we go out or when I need to go upstairs for for any length of time.

She actually seems to like her crate. I personally would never crate any puppy overnight unless im in the room to reassure them and keep company.

We're getting new puppy next week! I do intend to crate him in the kitchen but sleep on a mattress next to him , then close to him, then on the sofa in the open plan bit of the room further away, then hopefully at some point go back upstairs. I don't really want him in the bedroom because it's a looong way from the garden for night wees and he's going to get too big to carry way before he's allowed to do stairs . Two previous puppies- one was an angel slept all night in her crate without a peep on her first night, one screamed all night long in his crate for a fortnight. Thought I wa going to lose my mind.

Come and join us on the Puppy Survival thread.

I've never used a crate at night. My dogs aren't allowed in the bedroom either. They sleep in a puppy-proofed room at first and one of us sleeps in the same room for the first few days until they are confident on their own. As they grow older, they aren't confined to a single room and can choose where to sleep.

As for a routine, we have a fairly loose and flexible routine. Mealtimes are at roughly the same time each day, walks and training happen during a particular window of time but not at exactly the same hour each day, and the evenings are usually predictable. It's important to allow for regular naps when puppies are young as well. Your puppy might be particularly hyped up in the early evening (the witching hour).

Above all, don't worry too much about doing everything right. The advice about raising a puppy is a bit of a minefield. And of course all dog owners make mistakes now and then. Just enjoy your puppy, build your bond, teach the basics, and take it one day at a time. And post a picture of him when you bring him home!

Honestly, you won’t break the puppy if something doesn’t quite work and it could take a bit of trial and error to work out what works for you both. No two families are the same, and dogs have such unique personalities! Ours likes her own space so prefers to sleep in the kitchens, others would sleep on your head if you let them!

Many thanks for your replies, it has really helped put my mind at ease. I've got some other questions so will join the Puppy Survival for that 🙂

I’ve never bothered with a crate. I just teach my dogs the behaviours that are expected from day 1 and have never had chewed furniture or god knows what. I do get pet pen fencing that I use if I need to restrict an area for a time- like if I have visitors who I don’t want interacting with pup I.e. my cleaners would play with the dogs all day if they were allowed!

@SarahSissions Was wondering if you could give me some tips on how you taught the behaviour you wanted from your puppy especially unwanted chewing and biting?

We have a little cockapoo too. Crate training has saved our skins and really helped with his use training too. They ultimately don't want to mess in their crates so putting them in for increasing periods of time helps them learn how to hold it until you let them out. Their crate is their safe place. If you go out (for a pint of milk) and don't crate what on earth will they get up to!
When you're asleep at night and they're in your room they'll mess EVERYWHERE!!
We had a crate in our bedroom for two nights then gradually moved it downstairs over the course of a week. Our 14 week old now sleeps in her crate at night 9:30-7:30, doesn't mess at all and sleeps through happily x
Also, expect to get the blues. You'll probably wonder what the hell you've done as it's so hard at first but it does get easier I promise

I think the first thing for me is consistently, so I hear lots of people mentioning 4 or 5 things they’ve tried to stop a behaviour, which sometimes can be confusing for the pup- you kind of need to know when something isn’t the right approach versus something that just hasn’t clicked yet.

I take the approach of only leaving one toy out at a time for my dogs to play with, BUT I always leave plenty of split antlers, coffee wood, roots around. Basically a range of chews so they always have something appropriate close at hand to chew- and if they don’t show an interest in a particular chew I’ll probably leave it out- as the teething goes through different stages they find different stuff hits the spot so I have had chews that weren’t touched for months but the the dog came back to.

whenever I introduce any new toy or chew to my dog I do it with great ceremony so they know it’s there’s and toys and chews always go back in the same place so they know that these are there’s.

when it comes to m mouthing, I quietly replace my self with a toy or chew- if they were going for clothing I’d do a soft toy, if the were going for hands something harder. I make a point of holding it for them and continuing the interaction in the right way. If they continue to try for me then it’s a stern, low ah-ah and I turn my back and leave the room- if they don’t play nice then the interaction stops. If they go to bite as play I don’t give a toy I’ll straight to the ah-ah and leave. You’ll notice a difference between teething mouthing for relief and play biting.
often you’ll notice the biting comes when they are over tired (I can see on my dogs faces when they are tired) and then it’s a nap.