Dog put to sleep 2 days ago. Fine upto this. So guilty

[newellzieme]

Hello,
I'm really suffering & need to vent.
2 days ago we had to put our 10 yr old dog to sleep.
She was in season & her menstruation became far heavier than normal & a vet visit revealed a tumour. There was no notice at all. I still have a 6 pack of dog food I bought for her never thinking that she'd never finish them all.
We thought about sending her to a cancer specialist but she was losing a lot of blood & it would of cost everything we have basically with no guarantee of success. It's also a long trip to specialists.
I wish I'd of tried this now but Christmas was a factor & she was going downhill. Maybe she could have been saved.
I feel so guilty about her life. She had some character traits which meant we often fell out.
She would steal the kids toys & chew them up.
She would constantly bark when you took her for a walk. If you let her off the lead she would go for other dogs.
She would strain the lead so you always had to pull her back.
She'd wee on the floor rather than in the garden & would steal your dinner no matter what food she'd already had.
Despite all of this I really miss her & I feel like I've been damaged for life now. I'd do anything to have her back.

You have nothing to feel guilty about. You made the right decision and it was the best choice for the wellbeing of your dog. I'm so sorry, I know how hard this is.

I always feel guilty when I have a dog pts and question my decision. (although deep down I know it was the correct option). Grief does not have to have reason to be real to you.

I think guilt is a part of the grieving process.

You did what was right for your dog. The professionals supported your decision.

It is a really hard time do take care of yourself and be kind to yourself

Is putting a 10year old dog through long car journeys and invasive treatment that has no guarantee of success the kindest thing?

I think you did the best thing for her.
Sounds like she was a character!

I've worked with, and had animals all my life. Best advice my vet gave me was 'better a day too early than a month too late'.

Don't beat yourself up. You did right by pupper

I think you did what needed to be done. And you loved her even when she was a pain, and she knew it. Everything has a time and this was hers. Don't beat yourself up about it. Maybe go out into the garden, thank her and say goodbye out loud to her.

She had 10 fantastic years with you and your family. I am sure she was very much loved and cared for in that time.

It was her time. Try not to feel guilty and know that if you are it's just part of the grieving process. Entirely normal to wonder if more could have been done.'

10 years is probably an average life for a dog depending on breed. So please don't feel bad. Was this a change in behaviour with character traits?

One of my dogs was always my baby but hated others. Even had to separate him from the kids in the end. Had to stop him snapping at the kids. In the end I had to make the decision to pts as he was not getting better. Training was not helping and he had no quality of life due to walks being restricted.

I know it was the correct decision as he could not have been re homed. But it's OK to still miss and feel bad and upset. My mum still feels guilt as she gave me the ultimatum to chose family of the dog. But I tell her I'm glad she helped me realise it had to be done.

It took me a long time to be able to look at pictures and yes I do sometimes think could I have done more. But I hand on heart know it was for the best. And if u had 10 years then it's been a lifetime. ( even if the 10 years were full of destruction and pee) x

Vets usually say it’s better a week too early than a day too late.

I would have done the same as u did. In my opinion this was the absolutely right thing to do. But I know that me saying this isn’t make ur guilt go away. Hugs. And I hope one day I will be at rest with ur decision xxx

No reason at all to feel guilty. It was time. The bad choice is to string it out when your dog is suffering.

You did the right thing. Who knows what could have happened afterwards?

I had my gorgeous boi PTS a week ago. He was very old but it's still it was one of the hardest things I ever did.

Much love to you. Let the tears flow.

We scattered his ashes on Saturday at his favourite spot on the Clifftops. I went down today and sat on the bench nearby and could see him running about in my minds eye

Op I'm so sorry for your loss. It's agony I know.
From what you've described your girl was only going to suffer, no amount of money and treatment would have helped. Don't question your decision it was really the only thing you could do without making her suffer.
I lost my last dog age 13, it was pretty quick he collapsed and I got the vet straight out to put him to sleep. He had been going downhill for a while but I put it down to his age and slowing down but when he collapsed I just knew.
The vet was trying to make me bring him in for tests I said no, he was fear aggressive and at that age to collapse it's not good. I didn't have the kind of money it would take for tests and expensive treatments and if I had I'd still not have put him through it.
But I struggle still with that decision, I don't know if it's the thought of taking his life but I felt the same way with my cats.
At the end of the day though when an animal is a good age they often often deteriorate quick and it's sometimes not in their interests to fight for them with treatment.
I couldn't forgive myself, I even went into the vets weeks later to ask if she could please tell me what they thought it was, she thought cancer which was what I suspected as his stomach swelled up suddenly, apparently it was bleeding.
You go through every agonising emotion there is, you wish you'd done more, you just want them back. But you did the right thing and one day you'll be able to laugh at the kind of character she was, she sounds like my boy it would be lovely to hear about her if you ever feel up to it.
Don't be hard on yourself you've done the right thing 💐 sending you hugs.

Something our amazing vet said was it's better to do it peacefully as imagine them dying at night and you don't know if they suffered or were scared? I hadn't thought of it like that.

So many owners aren’t brave enough to make the right call and put animals through weeks of hopeless treatment and pain, or bury their heads in the sand and hope the decision won’t have to be made.

It is always the hardest decision we will have to make for our dogs, and no matter how many times you do it it doesn’t get easier. But it’s the kindest thing you can do to repay the years of companionship and joy they give us.

your dog sounds like the best kind- bursting with character and personality.

@Unforgettablefire i will do this with my cat. He is 13 and is having neurological problems. And we are slowly losing him. But if anything else happened I wouldn’t put him through anything.

You just know don't you as hard as it is. Your heart fights with your mind I've been guilty in the past of hanging on too long and I'd never do it again.
Your little cat might surprise you they're tough little things, I hope he has a good while yet.
One of mine she was 17, had a funny turn and went blind, I thought it was her time she was breathing so fast as well. It turned out she had heart problems (cardiomyopathy) and high blood pressure. She was put on human blood pressure tablets, got her sight back and did well with her little dicky heart for two or three years.
It caught up with her though she started coughing fluids and her breathing rate shot up again so I wasted no time she was pts the next day.
Give your little cat a chin scratch from me 🐈 💐

Op I hope you're holding up ok xx