My dogs have begun to be excessively demanding

[Feelinglikeachange22]

I've had dogs for plus 20 years. But lately I've found them irritating. I've got 2 golden retrievers. 1 in particular jumps on me and the children and paws at me all the time. They both follow me around and stare at me all the time. They seem to have frequent accidents at night. And one has started eating their own poo 🤮. several times when out walking recently on common land they have found piles of horsepoo to roll in.
I'm just finding it all very tiresome. I'm 45 with 2 kids and a demanding job. it's just getting all too much, then I feel guilty when I don't have enough time and energy for them.

Sounds like they might not be getting enough exercise or stimulation. Can you get a dog walker in once a week if you don’t have time/energy to do it?

Sounds like they might not be getting enough exercise or stimulation. Can you get a dog walker in once a week if you don’t have time/energy to do it?

Possibly. I try to walk them everyday, but perhaps it's not enough.

I've got a Golden - had retrievers for 30+yrs - they want engagement with you. Take a little bit of time to do some training, don't just try to tire out with exercise, engage with them on the walk, do they know "fetch"? Mine lives to retrieve and bring things to me, she is beaming with happiness when I drop a glove behind me and ask her to get it (after we've walked on for a bit). Hide things in the house and ask them to find it.

How old are your DC? can they teach the dogs to play hide and seek?

It doesn't have to be for hours every day - just make their lives a bit more interesting, training strengthens the bond with you and makes them more secure so less demanding.

Your oestrogen levels may be dropping which leaves you less tolerant of stuff that needs you to nurture it!

Look after yourself so you can look after them. They do love you!

I've got a Golden - had retrievers for 30+yrs - they want engagement with you. Take a little bit of time to do some training, don't just try to tire out with exercise, engage with them on the walk, do they know "fetch"? Mine lives to retrieve and bring things to me, she is beaming with happiness when I drop a glove behind me and ask her to get it (after we've walked on for a bit). Hide things in the house and ask them to find

Good point. 1 adores a ball, so perhaps more fetch. I don't have the energy for hours of walking. So perhaps I will try some more games. Thank you. I will admit sometimes I just want to relax without constant engagement +!

Your oestrogen levels may be dropping which leaves you less tolerant of stuff that needs you to nurture it!

Do you know what. I think this is exactly it. I have been a nurterer and dog lover all my life but now im starting to appreciate my cat who just needs feeding then will take herself off and come back at bedtime. Its a shame because I love the breed, but I'm just wondering if I'm growing out of dog ownership (not that I would ever give them away of course).

A time will come when everyone else doesn't need you so much, and you can feel better about your dogs! In the meantime get someone else to help share your caring load and someone to look after you. Can't pour from a empty jug. And get HRT, maybe!

Honestly you'll love them again. Your dc will grow up and ignore you, and you'll appreciate the slavish devotion of your dogs!

Honestly you'll love them again. Your dc will grow up and ignore you, and you'll appreciate the slavish devotion of your dogs!

😂

You need to make time for them every day. Training issues here. Eg jumping at you.
Messing at night. If they’re not puppies they shouldn’t be. How many meals a day? When? let out before bed to toilet? Walk round block?
Eating poo? Pick it up before they get to it?
Rolling? Choose where you walk carefully. Train a leave/recall or longline and harness.

Adult golden retrievers probably need a good couple of hours of exercise and/or play and training a day. If they're physically and mentally tired, they won't be as demanding.

If you can't do it yourself, what about hiring a dog walker to take some of the pressure off?

Do they have access to things like chews, brain games etc? Do you do any training with them?

Took them out today with the kids when they were doing sport and walked to a nearby woods. Will do beach tonight. Will make more efforts!!

Despite me upping their exercise etc, they are still being a pain. Barking in the night over the slightest exercise and weeing in the house despite me letting them out at 11pm before bed. It's getting really annoying

*slightest noise

It won't change overnight and I suspect a lot of their behaviour is now habit as they've been allowed to get away with it for so long.

I hate to say it but it could take a good few weeks or even months to see any long term change, depending on how long they've been behaving like this and getting away with it.

Are they male/female ? Neutered ?

Has there been any changes in the house/routine/family ?

Despite me upping their exercise etc, they are still being a pain. Barking in the night over the slightest exercise and weeing in the house despite me letting them out at 11pm before bed. It's getting really annoying

You gave them an entire day to change. You haven't managed to change in that day, so why do you think they can? It's not reasonable of you to expect overnight changes in behaviours that you have let happen. If you genuinely don't have the time nor the patience for your dogs then you need to look at rehoming them to somebody who can offer them these things. They have lots of energy and "trying" to walk them daily or giving them a good walk etc on one day isn't going to cut it for them. They sound bored and quite possibly frustrated with their lives as they are, and if you can't invest in changing that for them then it's better to let them go.

They need a good run every day first thing In the Morning for at least an hour and evening walk of at least half an hour. It's not their fault it sounds as though you arnt giving them what they need

IMHO you are struggling and it's brave of you to admit it. I used to be a Rehoming coordinator for a large UK charity and it's nothing to be ashamed about to admit you're finding it difficult. The dogs are clearly unhappy and it would be far kinder to rehome them. They've clearly not had routine or basic training to start with. A dog walker every day may help however you can't expect them to train the dog for you. Most dogs adapt very quickly in the right home. Contact a breed rescue like https://r.search.yahoo.com/ylt=AwrLD6LC4jtjmEUJSR10g81Q;;_ylu=Y29sbwNpcjIEcG9zAzEEdnRpZAMEc2VjA3Ny/RV=2/RE=1664897859/RO=10/RU=https%3a%2f%2fthegoldenretrieverclub.co.uk%2frescue-page%2f/RK=2/RS=rOkyx6y3Z.ZFRj75kPlK_gvmh0o-
and you should get advice and support.
Good luck.

So yesterday for example I jogged a mile with them. They also had an hr off lead in a local park throwing a Frisbee and sniffing around. They then had filled cow hoofs treats to entertain them. They still decided to bark all night and wee on the floor (even though I installed a dog flap, one of them is scared to use it).

The night before they had 1 hr Frisbee on the beach plus a woodland walk.

Other people's dogs walk sedately around the park. Mine tear around in a frenzy.

They get out everyday but they are bonkers. Perhaps I just need more discipline and training?

But you've only started this new regime in the past few days - it's far too soon to expect significant amounts of change.

Training is a permanent, lifelong thing with dogs. It takes time, perseverance and lots of commitment. If you keep going with daily exercise, brain training and environmental management, you will see change but unfortunately it won't be overnight.

In the kindest way, you've allowed them to develop all these negative habits over a long period of time, so it's going to take a long period of time to fix them as well.

What do you do overnight when they bark? Do you go down and let them out to the toilet at all?

I have a goldie - granted only one - he is nearly 4 years old. I walk him for 1 hr 30 in the morning and 40-45 mins late afternoon. He used to be a giddy kipper but is much calmer than he used to be. He used to jump up but with consistent instruction to stay on the floor he now sits lovely and waits for me to give him attention. He does paw occasionally for attention but that can be while I'm giving him a fuss too so I'm never quite sure if that's a 'do it this way' nudge or him trying to stroke me too! He barks occasionally in the night if disturbed by something outside but normally settles when he hears me move to the bathroom and if not, I shout downstairs to him from the upstairs landing and he either quietens down or comes upstairs and sleeps next to the bed. We both seem to sleep better if he's upstairs with me so maybe that's an option for you?
He doesn't wee inside overnight but my previous goldie did when he got older and not so able to hold it overnight. How old are yours? My current dog comes and wakes me if he needs to go out overnight but it's more if he has an upset stomach than for a wee.
Goldies do love being with you, your attention and being praised. Could you bring them into what you're doing as a family a bit more so you're not having to take time out of your day to specifically focus just on them?

How old are they? What training have you done? Is this new behaviour or have they never been dry at night?

5 and 1. The one year old is the nightmare to be honest.

3 poops in the house last night despite being let out at 11pm and 3am.

Ideally golden retrievers need a minimum of two hours of good exercise a day.
My German shepherd acts the same if he isn't mentally stimulated enough. (And I know how hard it can be sometimes to find the time to give them the attention they need especially with children etc)

We do training with his food and do an hour/hour and a half walk daily with his football which keeps his focus on us. Overall he probably gets 2 hours of exercise daily but not all of it involves walking.

I'd definitely try to play more fetch / ball games as working dogs like retrievers get stimulated by fetch, scent games etc.

Maybe hide some treats around your garden and let the dogs find them?