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The doghouse

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Original poster

How did you cope with the death of you dog..

25 replies

florentina1 · 30/09/2022 21:09

I came late to dog ownership, I was 70 when I was able to fill a life long desire to have a dog of my own. Because of my age, I chose an older dog.

When I started to search she was the first dog I saw.. She was absolutely everything to me. We knew she was going as after the last three weeks she gave us all sorts of signals. Just like she was preparing us. She was 14, she had no pain or distress. We were with her when she went for her final sleep in our kitchen.

I am totally broken. I was able to email the mum of her previous owner who, quire by coincidence we were able to keep in touch with

OP posts:

WhatsTheEffingPoint · 30/09/2022 23:10

Sorry for your loss, I don't think we ever expect to be hit with all the feelings until it actually happens and then they hit like a freight train!
Its been 4mths and to be honest myself and especially my dp are not over it and doubt we ever will.
I understand the practicalities of it all, he was 14, had various issues, was the kindest thing to do etc but it still feels like a stab in the heart.
I just take each day as it comes and ride each emotion as it comes, I don't try to bottle it up and be strong I let out the tears when needed.
Life is different now, the house does feel quiet and empty, I still have moments when I think ah bugger i need to get home for....then remember, but then there's the opposite to that that I can go off all day and not have to get home.
It's weird but you do settle into a new routine but the grief is there and as much as it is a cliche time is a good healer and you do learn to live with it.

Adventadventures · 30/09/2022 23:38

@florentina1 I am so sorry for your loss. I am 3 weeks into it with the loss of our gorgeous dog. The first week or so I could barely function the grief was so raw. But now I just have an overwhelming sadness. Little things like coming home and she is not there to meet me or the postman comes which used to send her wild barking now it’s so quiet. It brings home what a great loss she is to us . But slowly I am able to appreciate the great pleasure she gave us as Whatsthe said you do slowly learn to live with it. The pain we feel is the price we pay for the love they gave us

Celticandco · 30/09/2022 23:42

Oh I so feel for you, I'm so sorry. Animals bring us so much joy and love, it's totally heartbreaking when they're no longer there. My horse died a few years ago and it was like a person had died, still to go through it with my dog. Massive hugs and love to you and everyone who has lost a much loved companion xxx

Verytirednow · 30/09/2022 23:43

My darling JRT died 3 years ago . It was definitely the best decision I made for her …can honestly say that I was absolutely heartbroken for weeks afterwards.
I now think about her in a different way and realise that she had a fantastic life and am happy that my little doggie had a happy life.💐💕

CuriousMama · 30/09/2022 23:44

So sorry for all of you. My 15 and a half year old lurcher will be getting PTS next week. We've put it off as he kept perking up but he's messing all the time and he's so unsteady. He isn't himself. I'll be devastated.

I just keep telling myself he was a rescue and very difficult to cope with. I trained him and he's been an amazing boi. Loved by so many.

Hugs to all x

Eatglass · 30/09/2022 23:48

So sorry to hear this 💐
@Adventadventures gave me support through the night when I was struggling - we lost our dogs on the same day. Totally agree that the first week was the absolute worst of the worst but then slowly the tears stopped and I am now able to think about her with fondness and affection without the dread and the sickness. Sending much love x

Tarkan · 30/09/2022 23:59

It's been many years since I lost my first gorgeous boy (I had family dogs growing up which I loved but this one was the first who was just "mine") and it still hurts so much. He had diabetes which we could never get under control and then we found he had cancer and he went way before his time IMO so I think that's why it's still so hard for me.

I have three other gorgeous boys now, and they definitely help, but one has taken unwell recently and it has us worried how long we still have with him as he's getting older now.

The late Queen said, "Grief is the price we pay for love" and the love of a dog is like no other.

I'm so sorry for your loss OP, and for everyone else on this thread who has lost their beloved dog too. 😢

IthinkIsawahairbrushbackthere · 01/10/2022 00:03

It is so hard to lose a dog you love. I feel for you so much.

The only way I coped with losing my Jack Russell two years ago was by getting a puppy. I knew my boy was really ill and I had already decided I would get a puppy as soon as possible. My boy died on the Monday (in my arms on the way to the vet) and I made an appointment to view a litter on the Wednesday. I saw them on the Monday and brought him home the following week. I really don't think I could have coped without my puppy. I still miss my old boy but my new dog is such a joy.

2bazookas · 01/10/2022 00:38

Ours were all buried in our gardens with a boulder to mark the spot, and I planted small bulbs there for each dog. I keep photos around the house of all of them; and their collar dogtags. I still shed a few tears for one special boy (almost 3 years later) and wake in the night thinking I heard or felt him.

The thing I always find hardest to adjust to, is that the daily routine around feeding playing with and walking dogs has gone, and going for a dogless walk feels awful. But if I'm awake at night, I often take one of them for their favourite walk (in my head) and find that very soothing.

Missing a beloved dog never goes away. But neither do the vivid happy memories of all that love, fun and companionship you shared.

Original poster

florentina1 · 01/10/2022 10:32

Thank you all for taking the time to answer. I still find myself doing things automatically and then stop just in time. She. Used to sleep on my bed. I have taken her bed up to my room and cuddle it. It still smells of her and is just the last bit of her that I have.

OP posts:

CuriousMama · 03/10/2022 08:30

Hope you're ok @florentina1?
The vet is coming out today then the pet cremation people will come. I know it's for the best but am in bits.

Original poster

florentina1 · 03/10/2022 16:48

I will be thinking of you today @CuriousMama ❤️

OP posts:

CuriousMama · 04/10/2022 16:27

It was very peaceful. He managed to eat bits of sausage to distract him. He was very relaxed with me stroking him. The vet was amazing she explained everything. I carried him in his bed to the crematorium van. His ashes are ready now and we're scattering them in his favourite place on the cliff tops. He would go crazy with excitement there for some reason. Last walk there was a couple of months ago and he wasn't so keen.
We're away at the moment as a distraction. It's going to be very strange going back.

Roselilly36 · 04/10/2022 16:46

So sorry for your loss, it’s an awful feeling I know. I really missed the routine too, it takes time to get used to. My others pets seemed out of salts too, they loved the dog and laid with him most of the day. It will get easier. We had a holiday booked by coincidence days after we lost our dog, getting away from home helped, although I was trying to persuade DH to move, saying I can’t live there anymore without our dog. We didn’t move, and in time I settled down, and enjoyed living there again, but we have never got another dog, we couldn’t face the loss again.

SarahSissions · 04/10/2022 16:55

So sorry for your loss, but what a kind and lovely thing you have done for that dog. Asleep in a nice warm kitchen, feeling loved.

it’s so painful isn’t it. But hopefully in time you can start to feel proud for the lovely gift you gave that dog

chaey · 05/10/2022 01:00

so sorry for your loss, one of the most heartbreaking thing that could happen to us :(

Original poster

florentina1 · 05/10/2022 09:04

Thank you for your kind thoughts and words. I hope you don’t mind me sharing her story.

as I said earlier, I had wanted a dog my whole life, but circumstances were never really right. The previous six years to getting her had been really difficult. As I emerged from that period I was determined to do something just for me.

I started my search in November, she was the first dog I saw on the first site I checked. If I could have drawn the dog of my dreams she was exactly it. She had only been at the rescue a few days. She was nine and had been at the Rescue less than a week. She had belonged to a family from a pup, a mum and two boys. Sadly, only in her early 30s the mum had died of Breast cancer, the two children were split each going to their own dad.

After we had her for a few months, someone on GN asked, ‘. Was she too old at 65 to adopt a dog?’ I replied with my story, with a photo of her cuddled up to my youngest two GCs.

I then got a private message from a lady who said ‘that’s my daughter’s dog.’ We corresponded regularly after that and she said how much it helped her grandchildren knowing how well loved she was.

OP posts:

CuriousMama · 05/10/2022 16:44

@florentina1 wow. I wonder why she didn't keep your dog? How lovely the boys got to know she was ok.

Etinoxaurus · 05/10/2022 16:52

What lovely story. Darlingdog died in March, two weeks later I filled in the vettting forms for Battersea and Darlingdog2 has been with us for 6 months now. He's 12, much loved and I plan on looking after another old dog when the time comes.

Original poster

florentina1 · 05/10/2022 19:22

@CuriousMama She lived in a one bed Council flat and worked full time. She really tried hard to get friends and relatives to take her. She was a very high wired, reactive terrier. She hated other dogs, cats, and quite a few people especially those in uniform, buses, motorcycles and taxis you name it, she had a beef with it. if she was not approached carefully she would nip.

We live with masses of open spaces and love long walks. So it was ideal for us. Even so it was a couple of years before she could be lead free. When we first had her she wore a yellow coat with Keep your distance on. We were lucky enough to find a behaviourist who trained police dogs she had such a good understanding of terrier breeds.

How did you cope with the death of you dog..

OP posts:

userxx · 05/10/2022 19:30

What a coincidence the lady saw your post. Your dog looks like she has border terrier in her, she's beautiful. It really does rip your heart out losing a much loved pet, life seems very empty. In time you will look back with good, happy memories, rather than sadness.

I've got this to come very soon, absolutely dreading the day 😞

CuriousMama · 05/10/2022 20:48

Oh I thought she had posted about getting a dog that's why I was confused.

My ddog was a nightmare when I got him. Luckily I had time to train him. I had him socialised in 3 weeks. Even got him to not be scared of horses. He trusted me so much. I saved him from a few attacks.

I picked his ashes up today. The lady there was commenting on how beautiful he was and how young he looked. He was 15 almost 16. I kept the tears in but been sobbing on and off. I just want him here but not as he was. I'm glad I'm at work tomorrow until Friday. Might go away for the day Friday once I'm home. Being here is hard.

Etinoxaurus · 06/10/2022 10:45

@CuriousMama @florentina1
Beautiful dogs!
Here’s Darlingdog 1 just before she died and DD2

CuriousMama · 06/10/2022 14:26

@Etinoxaurus your ddogs are gorgeous too.

Etinoxaurus · 06/10/2022 14:41

Thank you @CuriousMama
Black dog (well, grizzled) is the one who died in March. Sweet fact. When she died that beautiful long snout shrunk overnight.
🐶🥰

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