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The doghouse

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Original poster

A dog as a birthday present?

18 replies

Theala · 22/09/2022 19:27

I know, I know, but hear me out.

We lost our beloved girl during the summer. We raised her from a puppy. (We also had another dog from a shelter that we PTS last year due to old age.)

We want to get another dog, but we're thinking not until next spring, so we'll have finished our house renovation and have more time available.

We were talking about it today and DH said he was thinking of getting DD the new dog for her birthday in April.

For some reason, this idea sits wrong with me, but I can't pinpoint why.

Dd would only be 8, so I fully accept that the dog would be our responsibility. We both WFH full time, so that's not a problem. It's just the idea of giving a dog as a present, maybe...and a present to a child...that is making me hesitate. Or have I just been too indoctrinated with "a dog is not just for Christmas" ?

What do you think?

OP posts:
fpurplea · 22/09/2022 19:31

I mean, is it going to be "her" dog? Or the family dog? Seems a bit unfair to me for her big birthday present to actually be for the whole family, and if she's getting other stuff too, why bother making out it's for her birthday? Just look at getting the dog when your house and family are ready.

Buzzer3555 · 22/09/2022 19:33

Go for it but accept that you will have all the responsibility. Does she want a dog? If so involve her in the selection process

mountainsunsets · 22/09/2022 19:51

I agree with you - I don't think it's a good idea. Besides, it won't really be her dog as she's only 8yo and won't be able to do most of the work that's involved. She's far too young to walk it alone, and I also wouldn't really want her picking up it's poo or cleaning up any accidents either really.

By all means get a dog but it needs to be presented as a family pet and something you all have equal responsibility for. It's too much responsibility to put on an 8yo an IME many of them hate the puppy stage anyway so it'd likely be a pretty disappointing gift.

Spanielsarepainless · 22/09/2022 20:08

You are right. It's a bad idea. She is too young to be legally responsible or even to walk it unsupervised. Just have a normal family pet.

Original poster
Theala · 22/09/2022 20:15

fpurplea · 22/09/2022 19:31

I mean, is it going to be "her" dog? Or the family dog? Seems a bit unfair to me for her big birthday present to actually be for the whole family, and if she's getting other stuff too, why bother making out it's for her birthday? Just look at getting the dog when your house and family are ready.

There's only the 3 of us, so DD, Dh, and me. In my mind, it would be the family dog, but obviously if we got it for her birthday, it would be her dog. Maybe that's what doesn't sit right.

OP posts:
Original poster
Theala · 22/09/2022 20:19

Spanielsarepainless · 22/09/2022 20:08

You are right. It's a bad idea. She is too young to be legally responsible or even to walk it unsupervised. Just have a normal family pet.

I wouldn't let her walk it unsupervised at 8 years old! I wouldn't let her walk her own self unsupervised at 8 years old! As I said in the Op, DH and i would fully accept all the responsibilities for the dog.

OP posts:
MomwasCasual · 22/09/2022 20:20

No. Would you give her a sibling for her birthday?

I know dogs aren't human, but they are part of the family, not 'things' to be gifted.

Original poster
Theala · 22/09/2022 20:23

Theala · 22/09/2022 20:19

I wouldn't let her walk it unsupervised at 8 years old! I wouldn't let her walk her own self unsupervised at 8 years old! As I said in the Op, DH and i would fully accept all the responsibilities for the dog.

Show quote history

Sorry, I know you're agreeing with me! I was just horrified at the thought.

OP posts:
Original poster
Theala · 22/09/2022 20:26

mountainsunsets · 22/09/2022 19:51

I agree with you - I don't think it's a good idea. Besides, it won't really be her dog as she's only 8yo and won't be able to do most of the work that's involved. She's far too young to walk it alone, and I also wouldn't really want her picking up it's poo or cleaning up any accidents either really.

By all means get a dog but it needs to be presented as a family pet and something you all have equal responsibility for. It's too much responsibility to put on an 8yo an IME many of them hate the puppy stage anyway so it'd likely be a pretty disappointing gift.

Thank you, you've formulated the arguments I need to oppose this proposition of DH's.
I'm thinking we may get the dog around the time of her birthday and maybe get her a slightly smaller present than we would normally (honestly, she won't notice), but frame it very much aa rhe family dog and not her dog.

OP posts:
Original poster
Theala · 22/09/2022 20:30

MomwasCasual · 22/09/2022 20:20

No. Would you give her a sibling for her birthday?

I know dogs aren't human, but they are part of the family, not 'things' to be gifted.

This is another very good argument, thanks!

OP posts:
Borris · 22/09/2022 20:31

The dog is likely to be still alive when she's 18 - so would you be ok with her moving out with the dog? If not, then it's not her dog, it's a family dog.

Sisisimone · 22/09/2022 20:33

I wouldnt give a puppy as a gift to a child but if you are getting a puppy anyway I don't see anything wrong with bringing it home on her birthday to make it extra special for her

certainshepherdpups · 22/09/2022 21:44

I'll go against the grain here. The very best present I ever received was a puppy given to me for my seventh birthday (though not on the actual birthday). In reality he was the family dog and I knew that. My parents did all the work of training and walking him, etc. But I loved knowing that in some indefinable way he was mine. I was also allowed to name him. We had a very close bond throughout my childhood.

Pumpkinsnearlyready · 22/09/2022 21:47

As an only dc getting my ddog - although I was younger - made my life complete
. She wasn't a gift but a true sibling!
Ime you do your dd an amazing thing adding a ddog to your family.

DementedPanda · 22/09/2022 22:07

I think it depends on dd, will she accept that there are boundaries when training puppy or expect puppy to be in her bed every night like a soft toy? Maybe buy her a replica soft toy of the breed you are going to get with a certificate saying dog will be joining the family soon, here a cuddle version. Puppy's are a nightmare when teething, more landscape than cute pet!

tabulahrasa · 22/09/2022 22:22

Firstly there’s the objectification of a puppy as a present, yes, you do own them, but....

It also creates the potential for lots of arguments as your DD gets a bit older if she starts wanting to do things with the dog you don’t want to happen, because in her head it’s her dog, not yours.

Then - and honestly this is a big one, it’s pretty hard to find a good breeder full stop, finding one that would also have a puppy the right age to come home on or near a specific date is pretty much going to be impossible.

worriedatthistime · 22/09/2022 23:09

One of the nicest things when we got out dog was taking the kids to see litter , mum and dad and pick him out together as a family
Wouldn't of been able to do that if was a present
Plus does she actually want a dog as a present

Lastqueenofscotland2 · 23/09/2022 08:09

No reputable breeder would let a puppy go to a home with a child without introducing the child to the puppy a few times first. Anyone willing to sell you a dog without the dog meeting your DD is not a breeder you want to be supportingn

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