AIBU to not want this dog in my house?

[Iwanttenofthose]

Sorry if this is long!

DH's best friend is in a desperately sad situation with a child who has a long term illness and is regularly hospitalised.

They have a dog which "we" (I) have looked after before. I love dogs and the dog is really well behaved when owner is around. As soon as owner left the dog was trying to hump and grab my children and I ended up locking it in the kitchen to keep the kids safe in case its behaviour escalated. There was no aggression but I was worried the dog was overstimulated and could nip or escalate. It caused quite a bit of damage to the kitchen once locked in there so wasn't ideal.

Once owner came back it was instantly well behaved again. Think they train it very Cesar milan style with dominance etc so it clearly just got "I can take the piss" vibes from me.

DH now wants us to have the dog again, overnight this time. I'm massively uncomfortable with this but DH says it'll be easier this time because he'll be here and can control the dogs and keep it away from the kids if necessary. He's giving me a massive guilt trip because of the awful situation his friend is in, and maybe he's right and I need to be more selfless. I also have anxiety so tend to see danger in every situation so I thought it would be helpful to ask some dog minded people for advice.

Wwyd?

I would have the dog overnight only if I could completely wear it out in a dog park playing with another dog and then use a large crate in your home.

In my experience dogs that are not crate trained will happily use a huge crate with a comfy bed and chew toy after a good run.
Dog full of beans and no crate in your situation no.

If your husband is there for the whole time, and does actually look after it, then I would personally be ok with it. I would probably plan something else to be doing out of the house with the kids though!

I agree with the idea of your husband taking dog for a very long walk.

Ask him why he thinks it'll be fine, given that it wasn't fine last time?
Ask him if he's planning to stay up with it all night to stop it trashing the kitchen. Ask him whether he'll clear up whatever mess it makes.

Ask him whether he has 24 hours to spare watching it and intervening to protect the kids.

Think I'd rather send the DH to dogsit at owners house as likely dog will be more relaxed in its usual surrounding. Sounds like dog had some anxiety away from its owner.

I wouldn't ever have a dog in my house, so I don't think you're unreasonable at all.

I think I would allow it in your case only if you can have a prior engagement that takes you away overnight. Or, as others have said, send DH to dogsit at their house.

Thanks everyone for your replies - I knew I'd come to the right place for a dose of common sense. DH going to theirs isn't an option, but I've agreed on condition they bring a crate and I'm never alone with both dog and kids. Think that should make it manageable:)