How can I ease the pain of losing my dog?

[DanielleandBobby]

We had to put our beautiful dog to sleep on Friday after a short but all-too-fast illness which we only recently found out was cancer. He was as right as rain until mid-July and we couldn't understand what was wrong with him as he was tested and scanned for just about everything, and it all seemed a bit inconclusive.

His death has happened too quickly for me to even process, even though I know it was the best thing for him and he was already suffering enough. I'm sure he was grateful to be free of pain in the end, and he was still conscious at the end and knew we were with him.

I know I'm in the early stages of grief, but he was my first dog, he was 12 and he had been my constant companion - such a character. His absence is just horrendous. DH and DC are very sad too, but I can't seem to stop crying and feel so so low.

Can anyone reassure me it gets easier? I have been looking at photos and videos of him but that's making the pain worse. We won't get another dog - that is something I'm definitely not ready for. I'm sure many of you will have good advice :)

hi, I know how you feel. I lost my lovely girl a few years ago aged 14. I’d had her from a puppy, I did all the training, walks feeding etc and she was my shadow.

She died of a cancer as well but was diagnosed age 10, so I guess I had longer to get used to it.

I found I needed to remind myself that she had a good life and I had her PTS as soon as things got bad. I reminded myself she never had a bad day in her life and that I did everything possible and there wasn’t anything more I could have done for her.

It does take a while to get used to them not being around in the house. Even now I still accidentally call my DDs dog by my dogs name. I haven’t got another dog yet and I’m not sure I ever will.

Best of luck. It just takes time.

It does get easier, but you won't believe me because you currently can't process your grief. But I wouldn't say it gets easier as such, just less hard if that makes any sense. We were devastated and were shocked at the strength of our grief. I did some googling and it turns out losing a beloved pet is right up there with losing a parent or sibling because you were with them so much. The first few weeks are the worst. We watched videos and looked at photos and talked about ours a lot. We're just over 8 years on now and although mostly we can talk about her and laugh and reminisce, at times we still can be reduced to tears. The house seemed so empty afterwards as it's just the two of us. Like you, we couldn't imagine getting another dog, it seemed to be disloyal somehow. After about 6 months we did some fostering for a local dog rescue, to see if we were ready for another. That helped and then we felt we could get another and now we have two. She was our first and will always have a special place in our hearts, but you do learn to live with it and be able to talk about your dog without losing it. Unfortunately the first few weeks are horrible, but even though you find it hard to believe at this point, it really does lessen as you get used to it. I am sorry for your loss, I truly understand where you are right now x

I lost my beautiful partner in crime three years ago and I was so sad . I still miss her so much but having another dog definitely helped.

@moneybeingwasted
@sleepymum50
@Bonniegirlie

Thank you all so much, that really helps. I am alarmed at the force of my grief tbh and I do liken it to the death of my DM many years ago, which was sudden and unexpected. I felt a horrible pain in my chest for a good 6 months after her death, but I hope that the very happy memories of my darling boy will keep me going. He was such a sweetie and so friendly and funny! Thank you all so much for your sympathy x

Time is the only healer. When I lost my old lab I honestly didn't know how to go through the days. Slowly over time the memories become happy and you will be able to talk about them without bawling your eyes out. The silence is the hardest part. Some find getting a new dog a way of healing but it's a personal choice. I couldn't for years.

We had our dog put to sleep recently and I really wasn't prepared for the force of the grief. It physically hurt and felt unbearable to begin with. We have another dog and I do think that really helped as we had them to focus on.

We're a few weeks on now and it's hard and I miss him everyday but it does feel less intense now.

I’m so sorry for the loss of your precious boy.

We lost our darling old lady cat in August. Some things that have helped here; I had a favourite photo printed onto a velvet cushion. It means we can still give “her” a cuddle. I joined the blue cross pet loss support group on FB, posting the story of her life/us having her and some photos and strangers taking time out to send love and know what we were going through really helped me feel as though I’d honoured her. We’ve also had a padlock made with her name/ our names and a wee message on that we’ll attach to a love lock sculpture in the area for pet padlocks.

I hope you find something that brings you some comfort. He’ll have had a beautiful life with you and you did the kindest, most selfless thing for him at the end.

@DowntonCrabby that is so lovely. I like the idea of a cushion with his photo on very much. I already miss cuddling him desperately. Thank you 💗
@Keladrythesaviour @Yeahrepublic Thank you for your heartfelt messages too. I've got time now to choose how to honour his memory in the best way. The vets are doing a paw print for us and I've asked them for a lock of his lovely fur (he was very shaggy!). We're also going to keep his ashes so I'll find a suitable box for them to go in. Thanks again everyone.

If not lost dogs but have lost 2 cats which is no different when you love them with all your heart.

There is no right way or quick way to get over them. I grieved for a very long time but over the weeks and months it did get easier to bear. I cried so much and thought my heart would would break but I promise you that over time the pain becomes an ache and lessens