How to approach a reactive/timid dog?

[Dreamwhisper]

Hi! We have had rescue dogs all our lives and some of them have had behavioural issues that we have managed to settle really well. However we are going to view a rescue dog that we have fallen in love with on Friday. She is a very large dog and is apparently very sweet but reactive to people she doesn't know. I'd really appreciate any tips from anyone who is experienced or has also adopted a dog like this. I really want to give this the best chance of working out as our family setup and lifestyle matches really well to the dog and we would love to home her, but we need to make sure we are comfortable and confident handling her and I feel like a good first meeting would go miles towards this

Sorry all, I just realised I have completely misrepresented the situation in my attempt to try and keep my post brief.

@Bizzyone the dog is a rescue dog from a rescue centre so there are no previous owners to talk to, apparently she came from overseas so history is limited though perhaps they will be saving some of those finer details for when we meet her?

I am not actually the owner of the home the dog will be living in. It will be my mum and adult brother's home the dog is living in. BUT we live close and visit all the time so the dog being good with children is still relevant and important as she will still very much be a family dog even if we are not living with her. I am the one with young children though so it's definitely my top priority.

I do hope she is suitable as she looks wonderful but all we can do is keep our fingers crossed. It's a bit of a drive so we are setting off early and I will certainly update the thread to say how it goes

TBH, I'm really surprised you're even considering going to meet a large, human-reactive dog when you have children in the house.

I know the dog will be living with your mum but this is such a huge risk to take.

It's because first of all, she was not described as reactive on the profile, she was described as "timid, but very loving when she gets to know you".

She has also been listed specifically suitable for preschool aged children because she is supposed to be so good with them. The vast majority of dogs we have looked at have not been listed as suitable for children below 10 or 16, so that made us assume that she must be somewhat good natured.

I don't know if the woman from the shelter is necessarily using the word "reactive" in the same way as some other posters are using it. I don't see how a dog can be sweet and friendly and great with children and aggressive to humans.

I'm definitely willing to give it a try based on the entirety of the information we have been given. If she is not friendly, will will obviously not home her. I don't feel like I need (or care) about judgement from people who wouldn't make the same choice to go and meet her!

Reactive is not a euphemism for aggressive.

Reactive is... more that they over react to things that worry them, that can include full on aggression, but aggression is a funny imprecise label. Because some people will class growling as aggression, some just as communication.

So, my last dog had a few medical issues that caused pain, so because they randomly caused pain he associated it with the person being near, as soon as he’d spent enough time with someone that he knew they didn’t do it he was fine, he never bit or seriously even threatened to bite a person, just barking, growling and a bit of throwing himself forward towards them... but he was a rottie so had to be hyper careful. Dogs did in fact many times cause him pain, so those he would have bitten on sight if given the chance.

Current dog is originally from abroad and basically is terrified of people as a class and it takes a lot to convince him you’re safe, so again he’ll bark and growl and do a big sort of go away display if people do something scary like move inside my house, lol, but has never bitten, doesn’t even get close enough to scary new people to attempt to bite, he just basically screams and shouts a lot.

I don't know if the woman from the shelter is necessarily using the word "reactive" in the same way as some other posters are using it. I don't see how a dog can be sweet and friendly and great with children and aggressive to humans.

Shelters want to home dogs - that's the point of them. I wouldn't necessarily believe they were telling the truth about the level of reactivity either, as IMO it would have to be pretty significant for them to even mention it in the first place.

I'm definitely willing to give it a try based on the entirety of the information we have been given. If she is not friendly, will will obviously not home her. I don't feel like I need (or care) about judgement from people who wouldn't make the same choice to go and meet her!

It's not judgement on my part, more concern. I work with dogs and I've genuinely never heard "human reactive" to mean anything other than "human aggressive with a bite history". Please make sure she is muzzled and on a lead when you meet her and have her anywhere near your DC.

Like some other posters I too am shocked that you would even consider this dog.

It wasn’t a surprise to me to read she was from overseas.
Almost every overseas dog profile I read says ‘great with kids’
Which seems unusual considering these dogs are usually mistreated strays.

There’s a very, very good reason that decent reputable UK rescues don’t rehome with kids.
I wouldn’t trust any rescue rehoming a timid/reactive dogs with children.

I agree that words like reactive and timid are likely code for dog dog with a bite history, aggressive to strangers.

A nervous large breed dog is NOT what you want in a home with children!
Pretty much all aggression is caused by fear and the vast majority of bites are to children.
I would think long and hard about that.

I think it would be beyond irresponsible to bring in a large breed dog that is nervous into a home with children.

Um. It is not an overseas rescue service. Those stopped due to Brexit. The rescue centre is the National Animal Welfare Trust.

I have already said several times that if the dog is unfriendly to people and not just shy/timid as originally advised, we would not consider bringing her home.

I don't know why people come to threads asking for specific advice and start throwing judgement and pearl clutching around, and misrepresenting the situation to allow them to do this.

We are going to meet her, to see what she is like. Her profile did not describe her in ANY way as aggressive, just shy and that she can be barky as she is scared of other dogs from the shelter. This is what we assumed the woman meant when further along in the application process, she mentioned the dog could be "reactive". I have never heard this term before today. We've had loads of rescue dogs as a family and plenty of them have had issues around trust and have needed to warm to people.

I don't care if people say I am overreacting. Insinuating that I would put my children in danger for the sake of my mum having a dog, well that is BEYOND insulting!

Sigh.
You came on asking for advice on how to approach a nervous reactive dog.
Your words.

Before reading the thread I was going to say much the same as everyone else - you don’t approach, you ignore them.

You said she came from overseas.
Very Large dog you say, so I’ll hazard a guess that she is a livestock guardian of some sort or a livestock guardian cross.
Spanish mastiff, Greek shepherd, Anatolian or similar.
Large overseas rescues are usually livestock guardian breeds or crosses of them.
They are challenging dogs, not well suited to novice owners or families with kids.

So she’s come over from another country and now residing in a kennel environment.

As she has been put into kennels you won’t be seeing her ‘real’ personality.
She would have to be in a foster home for months for you to gauge what she is really like.
She will be stressed and shut down.

Its all well and good saying you won’t take her if she’s aggressive blah blah but you won’t be seeing her real temperament so you don’t actually know if she’s aggressive, you aren’t seeing her on a walk nor in a home, you aren’t seeing what she is like around food nor how she reacts to children running round being children.

Aggression is almost always caused by fear so if she’s nervous there is a real risk she will escalate and show aggression.

You said: ‘Her profile did not describe her in ANY way as aggressive, just shy and that she can be barky as she is scared of other dogs from the shelter. This is what we assumed the woman meant when further along in the application process, she mentioned the dog could be "reactive’

The description sets off major alarm bells.
Fear is the root cause of almost all aggression!
A nervous/shy dog is NOT a good idea with kids!
‘Barky’ - stress response.
The dog is communicating she is scared of other dogs, there is a very good chance that a dog that barks at passing dogs will lunge and bite if said dog actually approaches them.
‘reactive’ - means the dog ‘overreacts’ to stuff.
Dogs overreact by barking, lunging, snarling, growling and other aggressive behaviours.

The dog is a project dog.
Shes nervous and showing that nervousness through reactive behaviour like barking.
Shes a rescue, from overseas, no known background.

You do you at the end of the day but you would be an absolute IDIOT to even consider this dog with children.

Sigh

I'm not saying I mind if people give me advice to say in their experience with rescues, actually this description of the dog being friendly and suitable for children might well turn out inaccurate and she will not be suitable for your family.

But can people fuck off with "you'd be an IDIOT" and "I can't believe you'd even CONSIDER this dog". What is so hard about just cutting out that last sentence, because that is really useful advice and all I came here for?

But can people fuck off with "you'd be an IDIOT" and "I can't believe you'd even CONSIDER this dog". What is so hard about just cutting out that last sentence, because that is really useful advice and all I came here for?

Well, you would be..
For all the reasons I’ve just outlined.
And the reasons other posters outlined.

• Large dog from overseas, most likely a livestock guardian breed or a cross of one
• Dog is in a kennel environment so can’t accurately gauge its temperament
• Nervous
• Reactive to other dogs (shows aggressive behaviour)

The dog is a project dog.
It is entirely unsuitable for a home with children.
You just don’t seem to want to accept it.
You seem to want to believe that all it needs is a bit of love and all will be fine.

At the end of the day no one can force you to do anything.
If you want the dog go and get it and then cry on here no doubt a few months later that you can’t cope with it, it’s aggressive to other dogs and has bitten your kids.

It is irresponsible to even consider it and I’m not going to omit that just because the blindingly obvious truth is unpalatable and offensive to you.

But I have LITERALLY said, several times, that we are more than willing to walk away if the dog turns out not what we can provide for? Or did you conveniently miss those posts?

I honestly don't know what is wrong with some people. You and others could have said all you had said without personally attacking me, and centring your advice on being constructive. My tone changed as soon as someone posted with that attitude, and you've just piled on, haven't you?

I won't be engaging any more as why on earth am I wasting my energy arguing with some random on the internet about how they are wilfully misinterpreting my posts so that they can play high horses to make themselves feel smart.

I won't be updating again. I don't get why people have to suck the joy out of the most mundane things.

The Doghouse really isn't known for sugar-coating advice, though I don't think a PP should have called you an idiot.

Plenty of people on here work with dogs and are passionate about them going to the right homes - they pick up the pieces when dogs are re-homed irresponsibly and see the aftermath of the nasty bites that happen when people don't do their research.

IMO there is a huge difference between an adult taking on a reactive dog and putting it in a home with no visiting children, and taking on a reactive dog that you know you want to have around young children.

The former may be ill-advised, but at least the person most likely to get hurt is an adult who chose that responsibility. The latter is very different and personally, I don't think it's fair to knowingly have children around a dog that's reactive to humans. The consequences if it goes wrong can be fatal, and sadly, it happens ever year in this country.

No decent rescue would rehome a "reactive" dog into a situation with small children, and that's for a damn good reason. There are so many red flags waving in your posts it's shocking, tbh.

I'm sure I'll be told I'm judgemental but tbh I'm happy to be judgemental where there are innocent children involved.

But I have LITERALLY said, several times, that we are more than willing to walk away if the dog turns out not what we can provide for? Or did you conveniently miss those posts?

But you won't know the dogs' temperament until it's been living with you for at least 3-6 months, if not longer...

But you're not reading this and we're all horrible so I personally don't know why you came for advice in the first place.

@Dreamwhisper unless you have experience with a reactive dog then my advice is be very careful. Some rescues will say anything. Don't take the dog then a few month down the line give it back to the rescue because you can't have the perfect dog. Sometimes reactivity will never go away. How old is the dog and what breed is it. A lot of these street dogs coming over now are mixed breeds I've seen a lot of Caucasian shepherds for instance. Unless you are used to these type of breeds I would not recommend them as a pet let alone one with reactivity. Believe me if you have a reactive dog you have your work cut out.

OP, what breed is the dog! And how big? It doesn’t really matter but I’m curious and love big dogs.
I have rescue who weighs over 55kg. He is extremely timid and scared of everything. For the first 10 months that was all we saw from him. As he has gained. Little bit of confidence he can now react to situations and people that he’s scared of rather than just shutting down in fear. The reactions can be aggressive and I won’t have kids round him. He is a handful and it’s really really hard.

in short, don’t assume that what you are on a first meeting is what you’ll get. Please do more research about mistreated dogs. This is not the right dog for an environment with kids.