New puppy - my fears about the big bad world - advice about other dogs

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To clarify, this is my first puppy (had adult rescue dog previously). He's a 12w old spaniel and he's just started walks.

This is a question about my fears

I don't want him to be reactive to other dogs. He has met 2 dogs when out. Both times I picked him up (because you never know). 1st dog was rushing at us and barking (yes he's a terrier but also friendly when you pet him). 2nd was a calm placid older dog. They sniffed noses, all ok.

What should I do when we meet dogs? Puck him up until I gauge the other dog's nature? Let them sniff on leads? My instinct is to pick him up with off-lead dogs.

I'm honestly scared stiff of him being scared by another dog and becoming reactive.

In the pet shop yesterday there was an aggressive barky terrier and even though puppy was in my arms he was scared. I had to leave the shop 😬

I think if you always pick him up he’s always going to think other dogs are a threat.

Im no expert but have had my first ever dog for just over a year from puppy.

My approach was to keep him on a short lead and just calmly move away from any dogs I was a bit unsure of. The more he interacts with other dogs the more confident he’ll be.

I also found I soon worked out which places to walk him where I encountered mostly considerate other owners.

Off lead dogs I bent down and allowed him to go under me until he was sure about the other dog.
At the moment you are creating fear.

Do not pick your dog up!
Have you considered puppy classes? They are good for getting your dog socialised.
I'd also, while your dog is still so young. Walk in parks where dogs have to be on a lead. This means other owners will be more in control so you don't have the 'rushing up' but which can be intimidating even if they are friendly.
You might also consider getting a harness which says 'in training' like these attached - there's even one you can add your own wording on, though I think people may avoid your dog altogether which defeats the purpose!

Regular training in a group setting is ideal for getting your dog used to others

Don't pick up the dog. He will think other dogs are a threat,and you are liable to be jumped at. Yes, puppy socialising classes,friends with friendly dogs. No one wants their puppy attacked or to come to harm, but you can't baby them.

I have a phalane (toy breed) I never picked him up,and he was the bossy one,he took on an old English sheepdog,who dared to put a paw on his head!

Total rubbish to say not to pick up a dog.

It is one of the urban myths of dog training that will not die!

You can not reinforce fear. If your dog is showing fear and you comfort them that is much better than leaving them in a situation to feel fear.

I had a rescue wcs who I have taught to put his paw on my feet when he is feeling unsure and I would pick him up. Initially he did it a lot now a few years on he hardly ever does it. He has been able to get confident in his own time.

Re meeting dogs. I do not let my dogs interact with any dogs I do not know. If they are dogs I know and we see regularly then yes I do allow interaction. It is not up to my dog to have to work out who is sociable and who is not.

Do go to a training class and they should explain dog body language and allow sensible dog to dog greeting. Just two dogs at a time hopefully.

I’ve had dogs for many years and am used to socialising puppies. The general rule is that you should give your new puppy as wide a range of positive experiences as possible. He’s still very young but taking him to a park where there are lots of well behaved dogs and courteous owners is the best method.

After my first dog, I didn’t take any others to puppy classes, just did my own socialising. Invite friends, go to visit other people, take the puppy to garden centres and so on.

Only lift up your pup if you’re fairly certain the other dog is bad tempered. Watch closely and be ready to lift him but if all is ok, let them meet each other. A little growl from the other dog is ok but loud growling, I’d remove my dog. If he’s on the lead, just walk him away rather than lift him. Never pay attention to what the owner says - most owners will make excuses for aggressive dogs or tell you they’ll be fine. Judge for yourself and make your own decisions.

Good luck.

Please ignore the posters saying not pick your dog up. It's absolutely fine to reassure your dog when they're scared.

However, saying that I would avoid picking them up every time you see another dog - I would only do it if the other dog is showing signs of aggression or poor manners, otherwise it's important for your dog to learn to cope with meeting other dogs out and about.

I would also work on a lot of controlled socialisation - puppy classes with a qualified trainer, puppy visits to the vet and groomer, controlled interactions with well-mannered dogs you know well, etc. You want lots of positive experiences to make your dog confident and well-rounded.

Good luck!

Hi everyone thanks for the replies. A couple of things:

He is going to puppy classes (went to his first on Thursday) but pups are only allowed a 3s sniff to start with.

He doesn't like walking yet so I'm mostly carrying him anyway (a work in progress) but I know what you mean about picking him up everytime I see a dog. Ultimately I want to teach him to sit when strange/new dogs approach.

I don't go with the dogs on leads in a park theory because I see unleashed dogs in many places where they're not meant to be 😪 including the 1st terrier who was unleashed in our street next to a road and in a field with walker access and sheep - signs everywhere saying to put dogs on a lead in the field.

But I will try to find a friendly dog for 'me' to practice with 🙈

Do you have any friends with dogs?

The best thing for socialisation we did was go to our local dog friendly park when mine was a puppy, she’s now fantastic with other dogs. Calm when she needs to be but loves playing, seeing your dog play happily with other dogs will make it all worth it.

I talked to the owners, if you’re unsure then just check with other owners who will understand. I can guarantee other dog owners will be delighted to meet your puppy. The social aspect for us humans is just as great and one of the joys of dog ownership.

Follow your puppy classes 3 seconds and away. It’s a great rule to live by until you can read other dogs better. Don’t keep
Picking him up. You are telling him it’s scary by doing that.
dont be afraid to ask people to recall their friendly dogs - if I feel like it I’ll say “ yours might be friendly but mine isn’t “ ….. ( he is but I don’t want this encounter thanks ) and I tricked the concept of the “ not today “ dog. That is don’t greet every song on a walk - randomly ( or use the tool when you are concerned ) say “ not today dog “ and keep walking past , luring with a treat if needed.

It sounds counterintuitive, but go to the parks which have lots and lots of dogs - in my experience every town has a park that attracts lots of dogs, and the bigger parks have certain areas.

The logic is that only people with fairly friendly dogs go there - you'd have to be a complete glutton for punishment to take a reactive dog to such an area. The dog owners who seek out quieter parks and quieter times of day are the ones to be more cautious of.

I will however note that this doesn't mean you should allow your puppy to harass dogs that aren't keen - especially older ones. Many years ago I had an elderly toothless dog that was temperamentally bombproof with kids and dogs, until he got to about 13 and lost all patience with young puppies. If a dog doesn't look keen, putting your puppy on a lead and walking away is the sensible thing to do.

Thanks again, some useful advice. Unfortunately I don't have any friends or family with dogs locally. My daughter has school mum friends with dogs so hoping someone is willing to 'meet' Pip on a walk 👍

Hi OP!
My advice would be - the dog will look to you for guidance, so if you remain calm and positive sounding and dont immediately go into protective body language like picking them up, the dog will see it more as a normal occurence.
Its totally fine to reassure dogs when they are scared, its just puppies naturally get a bit jumpy in new experiences so you just need to feel out whats natural skittishness and whats really genuine terror - id go for not jumping to reassure your dog immediately however you could take a step back away from the dog approaching. I also have a generic reassurance phrase said in a positive way each time 'you're okay, you're okay' sounds daft but we do it when trying to cut her nails, or when she was getting used to baths - just like a 'everythings okay, you're safe' reassurance and i've noticed that helps too on the odd occasion she does get skittish.
Your trainer has actually got it right with the 3s of interaction. A lot of people make the mistake of introducing their dog nose to nose with every dog from day one - not every dog is well behaved or the right dog to meet and a bad experience when young can set a dog back. When they get a bit older you can be more relaxed, but the 'dumping them in the deep end' approach isnt the right one for every dog, so going for a gradual approach can be really beneficial. So at 12 weeks, trying to meet up with people who've got dogs around the same size, with good temperments, and doing it one on one.
Our trainer gave the same advice - dont take them to the dog park and just walk through it as you have no control - take them to the park, but keep to a corner where they can just watch the other dogs without pressure to go up to them, or even sit in the car watching. Our trainer recommends 'people/dog watching' with your puppy as much as possible, so they can watch without interacting and this really helped us - we live in a very off-lead area so it was tricky sometimes but then it was a good challenge to keep your puppys attention on you with treats etc. Everyone comments on how good she is with other dogs and i 100% attribute it to the gradual approach.
And immediately after every positive interaction, praise/treat your dog so they see it as a good thing!

Thanks KLIM 👍

I've just discovered an enclosed field for dogs which is free to use. It's quiet during the day so I might take him there for a sniffathon

Go to a puppy socialisation class- they’ll all be puppies of different breeds.

I agree you shouldn’t pick him up.