Rescuing with small kids, is it possible?

[ChunkyLegsandKinderEggs]

We’d love a dog. We have a small house but a large garden, live rurally and have immediate access to footpaths and farmland. DH works from home full time in a workshop in our garden so dog could have constant access to the garden/workshop/house. We’re keen runners and walkers and the dog would get plenty of regular exercise (easily have three walks per day). We’ve both lived with dogs before and understand the challenges associated.

The ‘problem’ is that we have two small children - 2 and 4. I’m realistic about needing to introduce them to a dog slowly, never leaving them together unsupervised, using the stair gates and stable doors, teaching the children good manners (they are generally very good with family dogs anyway) etc.

I know that we have no chance with the RSPCA or Dogs Trust. I filled in an application with a local rescue recently but haven’t heard anything so assume we weren’t accepted. I’ve just seen a perfect looking ex-racing greyhound (under 2 so potentially seems very trainable) advertised by a specialist rescue very local to us but I don’t know if it’s even worth trying.

We’re going to have to give up and get a puppy, aren’t we?

The rescue I volunteer with would not rehome with children under 5.

Some rescues do not have the same rules.

So I know this is MN blasphemy but personally I don’t think greyhounds are brilliant pets for when you have small children. I’d just get a puppy.

Greyhounds are not great for small children. I have always had rescue dogs but we waited until youngest DC was 6 before getting our most recent dog. Why is it a choice of a rescue dog or a puppy why can't the alternative be wait until your kids are a bit older then get a rescue dog?

How much older though?

Because realistically she will struggle until the children are teenage years. Which is a shame when you know a dog will ‘fit’ nicely and enhance your life.

Try independent rescues perhaps? Some are more flexible but I would also let people know you are looking in case word of mouth you can find a dog. I've heard recently of a dog needing to be rehomed due to allergies for instance

If she researches local rescues or breed specific rescues she will find the answer. Like I say I rescued my latest dog when youngest was 6 so certainly possible before the teenage years.

She may get lucky … hope so but it’s been very difficult to adopt a dog lately.

Perhaps it has improved since lockdown?

It just seems a shame to wait when we are in a good position now and it would be lovely for DH to have a ‘workshop dog’ for company.

As there are footpaths and farmland around you, I think you will need a dog with good recall - ether you train it really well from puppyhood or you get a rescue whose recall has been thoroughly tested. Greyhounds, other sight-hounds and other breeds with strong prey drive can be problematic

In your shoes I'd be seriously thinking about a labrador or a goldie puppy. Your set up sounds idea for them, and they are generally friendly family dogs who are biddable and who generally like to please their owners (including by eating anything that looks a bit untidy, but that's a whole other story....)

You can apply for a 'failed' guidedog (but demand for those easily outstrips supply, so don't count on it. 'Fail' in that context doesn't mean a problematic dog, rather just one that doesn't meet the niche standards to be a working assistance dog.

I wouldn’t be looking at getting a puppy or a rescue with a 2 year old. I would wait until youngest is school age.

It is possible to rescue but you'd have to have a damn good set up to make it work. Having a rescue or buying a puppy will be like adding an additional child to the mix. I see too often on MN people moaning about their pets not being the 'dream' they wanted. Rescues in particular take a lot of patience and understanding - as will puppies!

As for greyhounds, ex racers in particular, I have 2. Honestly, they are not very trainable and really quirky in comparison to other breeds. One of ours learnt a few tricks, the other carries many mental scars from racing and refuses to do anything that's not on his terms. And recall will always be poor - the moment a squirrel appears, you can shout/whistle until you're blue in the face!

If you live rurally, have you thought about a failed gundog? Dogs that don't quite make the grade to work as part of a large team are sometimes rehomed as pets. They are part-trained, usually about 12-18 months old and can work very well in a family with children.

If you know any local farmers, gamekeepers etc, it would be worth making enquiries.

Greyhounds dont really fit your lifestyle. If you want to run and walk them 3 times a day - they are as lazy as can be.

Failed guide dogs you will be lucky! The waiting list is years long (but guess that gets over the problem of young children)

I would not TOUCH a failed gundog. Think what a gun dog should be steady calm good impulse control. So a failed gundog will have shit impulse control, maybe dodgy hips and often pretty nervy as they failed the gun test.

If you want a rescue dog get known by the rescues. Find a local rescue and offer to dog walk for them. If you are known to them you will have way more chance of getting your choice of dogs and they will know you better to give you the right fit.

Also helps you to see a variety of dogs and what would work best for you.

Quite frankly, you shouldn't be getting any dog at all with a 2yo in the house

You're not in a good position precisely because you have two small, pre-school children.

I also wouldn't recommend a retired racing greyhound as a family dog. I know that's a cardinal sin on MN, but realistically speaking, many have never lived in houses before, let along in houses with children. They're not toilet-trained, have sensitive stomachs and have incredibly high prey drives which often makes off-lead walks impossible. They're also not the hardiest of dogs and are pretty fragile despite their size.

Wait until both your children are settled in school. Ideally I'd wait until your youngest was seven before even attempting to settle in a dog.

We have a puppy and a 6 yr old and 4 yr old.

hand on heart, whilst I don’t regret getting her, as we love her dearly, in hindsight, my 4 year old was /is too young. The 6 yr old is a perfect age

so if I was giving any advice, your children are too young. Sorry

If you know what breed you want, register with the breed appropriate rescue in your area. They are amazing and will match a dog to you who will for your lifestyle. I volunteer for my breed one and having children is not an immediate red card

I would never, ever get a rescue having such young children.

No way will a rescue centre rehome with small children. I'm in the same boat so unfortunately it will have to be a puppy.

A puppy isn’t a better idea with very young children.

My advice really would be wait a few years and do a lot of research in those years.

We got a rescue (and yes a greyhound!) when the DC were 6 and 8. I wouldn’t have considered it before then. She has been a dream family dog but I get that some aren’t. She had never been in a house before but settled very quickly. I think it really helps that she is not terrible bright. She just accepts whatever is thrown at her without question. We adore her and I would probably never get another breed but they are really not high energy breeds. DD (now 11 was 6 when we got her) has trained her to do a few tricks and “shows” her (at family dog shows) which DDog tolerates. So they do fit with some families.

However, I really would wait. A puppy is exhausting.

I waited until my youngest reached 14 until considering a dog. I suppose witnessing my one year old sister get badly bitten on the face by my parents' spaniel (who had never bitten before) when she crawled under the table was enough to put me off.
I have had Huskies now for 12 years and although they have never shown anything other than sweetness, l would never trust them around a child because at the end of the day, dogs are animals, not fur covered children.
Rehoming centres have lots of sound experience working with dogs, and those rules are in place for a reason: to protect both your family and the dog from something they cannot foresee or guarantee: your safety and that of the dog's.

Rescues don't re-home with small children for a good reason.

A responsible breeder would say the same thing - wait.

I would not TOUCH a failed gundog. Think what a gun dog should be steady calm good impulse control. So a failed gundog will have shit impulse control, maybe dodgy hips and often pretty nervy as they failed the gun test

Seriously?
I have spent quite a lot of time around working gundogs, and I beat on a local shoot, so I do know what I'm talking about here.

A good gundog is steady, but very very driven - epic hunt and prey drive. So a gundog can fail for:
Lack of steadiness (this might just mean excitability and being too slow to mature, not that the dog is batshit and disobedient)
Lack of drive - just can't be arsed to get in under the brambles to push the birds out, gets fed up by elevenses and doesn't want to get out of the truck after lunch.
Minor health issue which precludes it from being good breeding stock. Picky eater. Whatever. Traits the breeder/trainer doesn't want passed on.
Incurable hard mouth in a picking-up dog (this doesn't mean it will bite, just that it gets over-excited and crunches the birds)
Too dependent on handler guidance to work well in a team (so ideal as a pet)
Gunshy (unlikely in a dog properly introduced to shot, but it needn't mean that the dog is a nervous wreck - our JRT was gunshy and hated fireworks, but was otherwise a very stable dog).

There is no such thing as a 'gun test', at least not in any of the gundog training I've been involved in. Dogs are introduced carefully to slowly increasing volumes of shot, starting at a distance, or around gas guns when out walking.

As for hips, there is nothing to stop you asking for the parents' hip scores. Most gundog breeders I know hip score their dogs.

And finally, I know a failed gundog in a home with children, a very jolly if somewhat needy Lab. He's been a massive success.

I can’t get a rescue so I’ll get a puppy !!!!

Having a dog is not a human right.

Think about why experienced rescues do not rehome with young children.

Ask rescues how many young dogs they get in because a puppy was purchased that then did not fit in with the young children?

Then wait until winter when dogs will be thrown out onto the streets because of the cost of living increase and take your pick.

I agree with some PPs that an independent rescue may be more flexible (a reputable rescue, it goes without saying). Word of mouth is also a possibility. I know someone who recently rehomed a lovely dog whose owners couldn’t cope due to illness.

People on MN often say categorically that no family with young children should have a dog, but I think it very much depends on the family and their situation, as well as the children involved. So I personally would ignore any black and white declarations telling you what you must do, especially from people with no experience in this matter. You sound very level headed and realistic about the reality of dog ownership with young children.