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The doghouse

If you're worried about your pet's health, please speak to a vet or qualified professional.

Nervous dog not getting on at dog sitters.

59 replies

Ithinktomyself · 27/08/2022 15:17

Currently on holiday. Dog sitter has told me that dog is getting increasingly aggressive and unpredictable. It's definitely nerves; he is highly strung which is why I did practice runs beforehand and told her he was nervous. Clearly it wasn't enough. I can't get back early (no flights), there's no-one available to take him. What do I do? Dogsitter wants rid, dog is clearly utterly traumatised. Are there emergency kennels? Do such things exist? How can I get him there if he's in such a state of anxiety already? Do I have any options?

NB: clearly I have cocked up, I thought he was prepared and relaxed. I was wrong. Hindsight is massively unhelpful now. Any practical ideas will be taken gratefully. x

OP posts:
Newfluff · 27/08/2022 19:57

Sorry no help now but this is why I use working kennels, something to look at in the future.

Ilikewinter · 27/08/2022 20:03

I agree this is the dog sitters issue and why is she messaging you about it when youve paid her for a service....there was another thread on here a while ago and the dog sitter was messaging the OP in that thread as she couldnt cope with the sog.......clearly people are taking on jobs that they arent qualified for, in your case she knows your dog is nervous etc so she should have provisions set up for him.
In any case youre going to end up worrying about this situation now so essentially shes ruined your holiday and id be quite peeved off with her to be honest.

Mediumred · 27/08/2022 20:12

Aww, sounds like it has turned around with the latest update, pls try not to worry and enjoy your hol knowing you did everything you could.

just to give you our experience we should be in Greece now but we were called back from the airport when our home sitter decided she couldn’t manage nervous ddog. She was a vet student and I think I was dazzled by that but they just hadn’t spent enough time together and looking back she didn’t seem massively engaged with ddog or show initiative about how to calm her.

anyhow, trying again with a boarder and aiming for a half term break. The student was staying at our house but that is where ddog is most territorial so hoping that she will be better at the boarder’s but we will be doing loads of practice before booking anything, only met for a walk so far.

tl:dr enjoy your hol!!!!

freckles20 · 27/08/2022 22:46

Sorry this tricky situation is occurring OP.

I'm a dog walker and also do some sitting (but not much as I have a family). Where I live (IUK) sitting is where a person cares for your dog in your own home rather than in the sitter's own home.

The set up that you describe is called boarding where I am and you must have a license to offer this service. This means your home and procedures are regulated.

One of the terms of the license is that the premises must have a separate suitable room (or secure area) available for every single dog (including any resident dogs) if required.

Often these separate rooms aren't all used unless a problem arises. But they must be available and in this situation they ought to be using them.

Boarders' official guidance also requires them to notify you (or a nominated alternative) if they feel that your dog is significantly unsettled, or unwell. Most five star facilities will insist on an emergency contact should things get really difficult. I appreciate that this isn't practical for some people, but that's what is usually asked for.

I do think that the responsible and caring thing is for the sitter / boarder to let you know that your dog is struggling, and ask if you can help with a contingency plan. A less responsible person might say nothing, and pretend all is well.

To those saying the sitter has 'bitten off more than she can chew' I can appreciate your POV but I also think that even after trial visits dogs can act differently dependjng on things like the other dogs, a build up of stress etc.

Even the most experienced dog handlers and trainers would suggest a stressed dog showing signs of reactivity is removed from the stressful situation (unless they are fear or punishment based trainers). This really is best practice if the usual sensible measures have failed (e.g. as much separation as possible, time to decompress, calming activities like sniffy walks and licky mats, plenty of rest and down time etc..). There aren't any magic wands that can stop a dog being stressed or reactive quickly- it takes time and patience.

OP you've done nothing wrong, and I think it's possible that the sitter hasn't either. These things happen.

Thoughts for the future:
A boarder who only has one dog at a time might be less stressful for your dog.

A sitter in your own home may be less stressful- familiar surroundings, usual routine, no other dogs should all help.

A kennel can work well for really reactive dogs but can also be stressful. Much depends on the dog and the kennels set up.

Whatever you do try to do several trial runs for shorter periods. Ask the person how they try to keep stress to a minimum, what they do if a dog becomes reactive etc..

As a dog walker I get to know my dogs very well. I've walked some of them every day for years and we have a great relationship. This means that they tend to be very happy when I sit for them- this might be another option.

Finally, when you get home do bear in mind that your dog may be feeling stressed. Don't panic, but do be very careful and do not push him out of his comfort zone at all. Let him decompress over the next week, keep things calm and relaxed. Allow him space and access to his safe place. Keep walks calm and easy. Until he has decompressed he is much more likely to be reactive or act in an unpredictable way. Look up the bucket theory if you'd like to find out more about how a build up of stress can push any dog into overwhelm, and how long it can take for them to become calm.

Let us know how it goes.

secrethedgehog · 27/08/2022 23:12

I'm in a closed Facebook group for kennel and Cattery owners and the number of horror stories this summer involving home boarders and pet sitters is ridiculous. Kennels are getting asked to sort out the mess regularly and there are many that are prepared to do so so definitely worth getting your sitter to phone around and ask whilst being honest. Problem is most good kennels are likely to be full.
If you personally contact your vet and beg a little, if you have a good relationship with them, they might be able to provide medication to take the edge off, given it's an emergency and someone might end up being bitten. Certainly worth a try.
Piriton won't do anything I'm afraid. Nor will any herbal, homeopathic, rescue remedy malarkey, you need proper pharma.
Hope you sort something soon.

freckles20 · 27/08/2022 23:27

secrethedgehog · 27/08/2022 23:12

I'm in a closed Facebook group for kennel and Cattery owners and the number of horror stories this summer involving home boarders and pet sitters is ridiculous. Kennels are getting asked to sort out the mess regularly and there are many that are prepared to do so so definitely worth getting your sitter to phone around and ask whilst being honest. Problem is most good kennels are likely to be full.
If you personally contact your vet and beg a little, if you have a good relationship with them, they might be able to provide medication to take the edge off, given it's an emergency and someone might end up being bitten. Certainly worth a try.
Piriton won't do anything I'm afraid. Nor will any herbal, homeopathic, rescue remedy malarkey, you need proper pharma.
Hope you sort something soon.

I've had so so many enquiries for sitting and boarding this year. I don't do boarding as I have no license and only sit for my walking clients (and I don't advertise as doing either obviously).

People are begging me to sit or board their dog, often at really short notice. When I explain that I can't help I've been offered huge sums of money, accused of not caring about animal welfare and told that I'm unprofessional.

It is becoming a big problem. Owners are getting desperate and increasing amounts of people are taking advantage of desperate and / or naive owners.

secrethedgehog · 27/08/2022 23:44

@freckles20 it's a perfect storm
Some boarding places closed due to Covid
Massive increase in pet ownership
Everyone wanting to go away this summer
Lots of new owners not realising how far in advance you need to book to secure a good kennels.

Lots of dodgy home boarders with no experience or proper facilities have sprung up to fill the gap.
Throw into the mix some undersocialised lock down puppies just to add to the fun.

Hopefully things will settle as demand for holidays tails off a bit, though lots of kennels have had a tough time this year with owner expectations and are facing a hike in heating costs thus considering giving up.

freckles20 · 28/08/2022 00:26

I agree with you @secrethedgehog. It's a really difficult combination of problems.

I also know two fab kennels which have decided to move towards daycare rather than overnight kennelling. It makes for an easier life in many ways, all for similar amounts of money, it is also more predictable and less seasonal. Plus demand for daycare has risen due to increased dog ownership.

I think it is only fair to point out that there are some poor kennels as well as poor boarders / sitters. I've seen some horror stories from each setting, and it is really really worrying.

Ironically the dogs that I walk every day and have done for years can't stay with me when their owners go away because I haven't got a boarding license. I know them inside out and we have a super bond. Some wouldn't be happy to be boarded in my home, but others would love it . But I can't offer to care for them here as the cost of a license is off putting.

Ithinktomyself · 28/08/2022 06:12

To be fair to the sitter, she is not insisting he goes but would be very pleased if he did. She is fully licensed and has five stars and he is currently segregated. There are just too many dogs at once (I do think that is something she could have thought through a bit more) and he is, as a PP said, now a full bucket.

OP posts:
mountainsunsets · 28/08/2022 07:40

I'm a dog sitter so I do have some experience in the field, though I've never boarded in my own home. You say the boarder is licensed but she's made a few quite basic mistakes here.

She should have taken the details of an emergency contact who can have the dog in case it doesn't settle or in case of emergency. That's basic dog sitting/boarding 101. Always have a back-up as you never know when you might need it.

Messaging you to basically say she wants the dog gone when she's the professional and she's the one who failed to have a back-up plan for the dog is also hugely unfair and puts you in an unfair position.

She also says the dog is "becoming aggressive and unpredictable" but then lets it socialise with another dog anyway, which is a recipe for disaster. The last thing she needs is a bite or a fight on her hands. I'm glad he's segregated now but IMO you need to ask he stays that way until you can come home or someone can collect him.

There's no other option unless the grandparents pick him up. You can't send him to kennels without them having met him first - and tbh most places won't have the space anyway due to it being summer.

Unfortunately she chose not to have an emergency contact/back-up in place so this is really on her to sort out. I'm sorry it's ruining your holiday though!

freckles20 · 28/08/2022 12:35

Ithinktomyself · 28/08/2022 06:12

To be fair to the sitter, she is not insisting he goes but would be very pleased if he did. She is fully licensed and has five stars and he is currently segregated. There are just too many dogs at once (I do think that is something she could have thought through a bit more) and he is, as a PP said, now a full bucket.

I understand. All licensed boarders have a maximum number of dogs that they are allowed to board- and this takes into account the amount of space that they have and must include facilities to segregate every dog should that be required.

As a five star facility they have to satisfy at least half of the 'optional higher standards' too. As such you'd expect constant supervision of someone with a formal qualification.

I don't think I that it is unfair to prefer that a dog in your care leaves if it is becoming increasingly stressed, reactive etc., unless you realistically can put measures in place to help the dog feel better- rather than just managing the situation to minimise risk.

The failure to insist on an emergency contact is unusual. Unless maybe OP you suggested that your parents were the emergency contact but didn't realise that in reality they weren't in a position to take your dog in this situation?

If the boarder feels that the dog is a risk to a person or another animal, the emergency contact cannot help, and they can't mitigate the risk then they are expected to contact outside agencies for help. This would be an extreme situation but I'm sure you can see that in some circumstances it is the responsible thing to do.

Ithinktomyself · 28/08/2022 15:21

Yes, to be clear there IS an emergency back up but DMIL has recently done herself a mischief so not ideal. I am still looking for alternatives but last contact suggested he was calmer. Hopefully everyone can survive until Wednesday morning.

OP posts:
Ithinktomyself · 28/08/2022 15:44

And tbh, while I think there are things the sitter could have done differently, hindsight is easy and I could have prepared the ground much better. But it's not the dog's fault (he's a highly strung menace but he's got a sweet soul). Just got to keep fingers crossed now I think. Will contact the vet re sedation tomorrow if necessary.

OP posts:
Roselilly36 · 28/08/2022 16:13

RedHelenB · 27/08/2022 19:56

You can, just put him in kennels.

And imagine what a state he would be in! I would never have put my dog in kennels.

Ithinktomyself · 28/08/2022 16:58

At this point I think he's going to be a mess for at least a month regardless. But anyway it involves finding a kennel with space!

OP posts:
Ithinktomyself · 28/08/2022 19:40

Further update: have had a WhatsApp chat and picture. He is clearly pining horribly and it's coming out in these ways. Picture showed him in his bed looking sorry for himself but not mental or dangerous. We have agreed that he needs to be segregated completely, even if he's seeming better. Have given permission for emergency vet if that seems necessary. Apparently a couple of dogs will leave tomorrow so it might be less stressful. Fingers crossed.

OP posts:
SirChenjins · 28/08/2022 19:43

Hopefully the next couple of days will pass quickly for you both and that the vet can help if needed. I really feel for you, it sounds very upsetting.

Ilikewinter · 28/08/2022 19:46

Oh no 😥, hopefully if a couple of the other dogs go home he might relax a bit, I bet you just want to come home now.

Ithinktomyself · 28/08/2022 19:54

Yeah, holiday is definitely over! But have equally demanding DS who still needs entertainment. Really hoping sitter just keeps him locked away now until I get to him.

OP posts:
Ilikewinter · 28/08/2022 20:14

Ah maybe you can book you all a nice weekend caravan break by the seaside!
Our ddog is 16 months now and very nervous to the point that I dont think we'll ever be able to leave him...so we are about to venture on our 3rd caravan/lodge break to Wales this year - its a world away from our pre pupster holidays 🐶😊

KosherDill · 28/08/2022 20:19

You can go on holiday; you need to find someone who will live in your home with him.

The poor thing.

freckles20 · 29/08/2022 11:03

Ithinktomyself · 28/08/2022 19:40

Further update: have had a WhatsApp chat and picture. He is clearly pining horribly and it's coming out in these ways. Picture showed him in his bed looking sorry for himself but not mental or dangerous. We have agreed that he needs to be segregated completely, even if he's seeming better. Have given permission for emergency vet if that seems necessary. Apparently a couple of dogs will leave tomorrow so it might be less stressful. Fingers crossed.

Is there no one who he knows who can take him OP? This must be terribly sad and stressful for him. Segregation sounds sensible to keep the boarder, her family and other dogs safe but it really is not something that should go on for more than a day.

This is what emergency contacts are for. The boarder should have clarified that someone must be able to take the dog in an emergency. I appreciate that is not always practical, but it is part of the terms of boarders and is stipulated in the terms of their license.

She has had little choice but to remove one or probably two of the freedoms which animals are afforded by law on safety grounds with your permission.

sleepymum50 · 29/08/2022 11:52

I know this isn’t offering practicable advice which is what you need.

But I recently house sat for 6 days for a dog that was a nightmare. It would nip me and I had a lot of scratches from it jumping at me to get at things I was carrying. Even though I was counting down the days and the family were in the uk, I never considered ending the house sit. And I wasn’t even being paid.

I tell you this to point out that I think the sitter should be dealing with it. They are being paid to do a job, and I would have thought this is something they should be prepared for. You told them the dog was nervous and did practice runs.

So don’t beat yourself up too much. I hope things get sorted and you find a good solution for the future.

mountainsunsets · 29/08/2022 12:56

It's not as simple as that when you have other dogs in your care as well though, @sleepymum50.

Also a solo dog that jumps up and nips, while annoying, isn't really a danger as such, whereas OP's dog has been genuinely aggressive and has growled and snapped.

While your right that it is the boarders job to deal with it, she also has to make sure the other dogs are safe too. She also has certain licensing guidelines to follow and she could find herself losing her license if a fight breaks out and she's found not to have taken adequate precautions.

INeedPants · 29/08/2022 15:00

This is what emergency contacts are for. The boarder should have clarified that someone must be able to take the dog in an emergency

This is the bit that has always concerned me, if we knew someone who was available to look after a dog we wouldn't be using a boarder...