My dog just went for another dog

[pipwoes]

My dog has got more and more reactive since another dog went for him about 6 months back. The incident was more snarling and snapping and neither was hurt but he's since started to get more and more reactive. BUT here's the thing. It's only to certain dogs. Husky's, German shepherds, odd black labs and specially one pug at park who previously he's played with. He's taken against this pug as he on a couple of occasions repeatedly started to mount him and repeatedly lick my dog's bits (my dog on his back in a Submissive pose ) I tried to
Gently push his dog away as owner wasn't nearby. He eventually appeared and said " oh don't think you're special. He does this fo all the dogs " He did move his dog but it was awkward. Next time we saw him, and a couple more times his dog did same and the last time, my dog snapped at him but we quickly separated them and no harm done. I've since avoided him if ever I see him on same path, change direction if I see the dogs loose and never let my dog off lead if I've seen them and never knowingly have him off lead if this dog is nearby. Tonight I didn't see him and his dog raced up and my dog went for him, snapping and snarling - I don't think he bit him, but I really fear he would have, had I not dragged him off. The guy went nuts, called my dog a little twat and told me he should be muzzled.
I'm sitting here crying and so worried my dog is turning into something bad. I'm going to take to vet and ask for behaviourist recommendation and won't take off lead or to that park again for at least a while and might book dog walking field instead
IM so shaken and wondered if anyone else has had their dog have a particular issue with just one dog. Like I say, I've always kept on lead and if spotted quick enough avoided altogether but the pug is always off lead and runs up to us.
Ive had nice chats to him before and he was clearly upset and I'm mortified but he said tonight he doesn't remember ever seeing me before

Please don't tell me how awful a dog owner I am. I didn't shout back,( wouldn't have, how could I, we were the bad ones here), explained their history and apologised again, checked his dog was ok and said I'd never have him off lead near his dog ever again (if at all at this point). My dog is skulking round my legs now but I can't look at him. I'm too upset. I just had to get it out. I've had dogs all my life when I lived with parents but he's my first dog of my own and I love the bones of him but cannot continue with this uncertainty. Thanks for reading.

Tbh, I don’t think your dog is at fault with the pug specifically, he shouldn’t be running up to dogs and mounting them and licking their bits.
Its asking for a fight really imo.

That said, you did say your dog is getting more and more reactive to certain dogs.
For that reason, I wouldn’t let him interact with strange dogs personally

Your dog is, well... just being a dog. The pug owner is in the wrong for allowing his dog to harrass yours. That said, if your dog can be reactive, it's really important to limit and control his intereactions with other dogs and make sure that any reactions are postive ones, so it's a really great idea to keep your dog on a lead all the time and it's a great idea to see a behavioruist for guidance.

My dogs are great with other dogs, but other dogs can be (increasingly are!) rude and so I really limit their off lead interaction with other dogs as a matter of course.

It's not ok though is it even if the dog annoyed him to go for him? I knew to avoid that one but think im going to have to quieten things down and keep in fields or on lead. The stupid thing is he's got some friends who he plays and plays with including a massive dog - seriously huge (mine is a little terrier) and they look fab and have such fun but I can't risk it happening with a dog he might turn against. Im gutted and burst into tears when home. Im just glad I kept calm at park and apologised properly and tried to reassure the man. Im welling up again now. Pup has gone to sit in kitchen. I think he knows im not impressed (I've not shouted at him just been quiet and upset ).

What else was your dog supposed to do? You wouldn’t like it if someone ran up to you and forced a hug on you, would you?…. All dogs should be on the lead, the pug shouldn’t be running up bonking other dogs.

My Lab has had a TPLO and it would be incredibly painful for him to be mounted (and it has happened to him and he’s snapped back). A snap, snarl, growl, is a warning to piss off.

What breed of dog do you have? Is he neutered?

I think there are two things. One, you're getting your dog some help, that's great. Two, that pug needed control over him. He didn't have that, your dog instructed him on manners in a very 'dog' way.

@SpanishWaterDog you've just made me cry again in a nice way. I feel utterly shit at being a dog owner right now. I'm a walking bloody stereotype of lockdown dog except I didn't want him as I know what a responsibility it is and made DH work through plans for walks/ costa of insurance/ walkers / day care etc and here I am, main carer, sole Walker and admittedly the dog's favourite (damn his gorgeousness ) so I feel so emotional about being responsible

A little terrier- let him play with his friends- you need to let him socialise. (Not with the randy pug).
Stop telling him off now as he probably hasn’t got a clue what your annoyed about! - the moment has passed.

He’s only really warned the other dog though hasn’t he?
No bites?
The fact he is getting ‘increasingly reactive’ would suggest he would prefer not to meet and greet strange dogs but with the pug specifically, I don’t see anything wrong.
Pug is behaving completely inappropriately and your dog told him off.

He's just over 2, neutered yes
He goes to dog sitter with up to 8 dogs and no issues. He went to another dog sitter and she said he'd made nest friends with her much older dog so he's not horrid at all. Tonight shocked me as pug didn't mount tonight but did head straight to him.

He was telling the other dog to piss off. He knows that dog has bad manners and won’t take a hint, so he’s stopped playing nice and decided to tell it like it is.

Tell the pug’s owner that it’s his fault, not your dog’s. Get some righteous anger!

Your dog sounds fine. Some dogs are tetchy with some other types of dog - and you can identify that yours isn’t a fan of huskys etc. That’s fine - that’s normal.

Please don’t worry. I very much doubt your dog is as aggressive as you think. Sometimes it can sound much scarier to us than it really is. He didn’t like that pug’s attitude so he told him so.

There is a way through this, OP. I promise.

Right now you are in the phase of grieving the life you thought you'd have with this dog and panicking in case this never gets better. It will and it won't.

It won't: your dog is fearful of other/strange dogs and likely to need a lot of help and patience to even tolerate them at a distance. He's unlikely to ever be a social butterfuly or the kind of dog you can just let mingle at will.

It will: despite this, you will learn how to manage him best to avoid his fears, he will learn to trust you more and between you will find a way to live a good life together.

Get behaviourist help, as you plan to. If only as support for you. It makes a difference to have a professional see your dog and reassure you they are not some extreme version or a bad dog. And you are not a bad owner. Good socialisation reduces the chances of reactivity but it is not a magic cure; sometimes dogs just grow up reactive, despite your best efforts. (I've found it often goes hand in hand with intelligence and sensitivity).

In the meantime, walk your dog where there are no other dogs. Even if it means going out of your way or driving to somewhere quiet. The more you can avoid other dogs (right now) the better. If you see another dog, try to find a way to maximise the distance from them - which may need walking the wrong way or off into a hedgerow. If you really cannot avoid the other dog minimise the time you are near them - walk quickly, encourage your dog with you and ignore any barking or snarling, just keep walking. Keep your dog under control at all times.

Oh and ignore this pug and the dickhead owner. If someone's dog had mounted mine several times without a grovelling apology from the owner, then they'd have got their dog handed back to them with strong telling off. This is very unfair behaviour (from the owner) and they are 100% in the wrong.

p.s. when male dogs fight like this is sounds bloody awful, but is almost always just noise and movement with little real intent to hurt. It's shocking when you see your dog in the fray, but it sounds mch worse than it is.

Chin up, OP. I promise there is a way through this to a happy future with your dog - even if it's not quite the future you hoped for.

Some reading (if you're in the mood) on the emotional toll of living with a reactive dog. Just to help reassure you that neither you, nor your dog, are 'bad'.

dogstodaymagazine.co.uk/2019/02/19/the-emotional-toll-of-reactive-dog/

theralphsiteshop.com/loving-a-reactive-dog/

www.happyhounduniversity.com/single-post/walking-with-a-reactive-dog-will-it-ever-get-easier

www.puppyleaks.com/reactive-dog/

The pug owner was definitely in the wrong if he routinely lets his dog harass others and lets it out of his sight - that is really irresponsible.

reactivity can be tough but it’s totally possible to manage it safely and responsibly (and it’s totally possible to be reactive to some dogs not all! Dogs are like people, they can be selective!). Do you see multiple dogs that your dog reacts to on an average walk? If so I’d look for somewhere quieter to walk for a while - each small reaction builds up stress until they reach the highly stressed point that he must have reached this time. It’s not that he would always react like that to this one dog necessarily, but it was perhaps the ‘final straw’ for him today if he’s had other encounters. Take a break from walks where you see other dogs for a couple of days so his stress levels (and yours!) can go back to normal, then make a plan from there.

Stop worrying about it and carry on as normal he didn’t actually do any damage and it sounds like he could have done , just be more aware of this dog approaching him and if it does put yours back on his lead smartish and if the dog then comes near yours it’s his owners fault for letting him come up to dogs that are on a lead . My dog ( patterdale x) used to be a bit lairy if certain dogs got in his face after he was attacked twice in a couple of months once by a staffy and then by a bulldog . Surprisingly he has got way more tolerant with age and now just ignores everybody .

My dog (10 month old English bull terrier) absolutely loves all other dogs - whether they like him or not. He is always on the lead and under control but people just let their dogs rush up to him regardless which pisses me off. At first I was all apologetic as I have a lot of comments about him being 'bred for fighting' etc etc but now I have no qualms about telling other dog owners to control their dogs. I did have a large rottweiler off lead try to mount my dog and it was the only time I have seen him snap at another dog..it was trying to lick his bits as well and he told it very firmly in dog to fuck off. No contact made but ugly sounds. I always watch out for any behaviour from other loose dogs that could escalate and stick to quiet areas when I can.

@SirSniffsAlot I'll have a read thank you
You've all reassured me a lot that it's not hopeless and that he's not a lost cause
I think it took me by surprise tonight but maybe he saw pug and just thought "oh FFS" Who knows?
I'll book vet and see what's recommended and wish I had a Valium ! I may just have a glass of pink sunshine wine and another little cry

He thought, in dog language, that the pug needed to be taught some manners since he hadn't learned his lesson.

Dog do teach each other this stuff.

My daughter's Spaniel is a sweet little girl, and she's so friendly. One dog they meet on their walk is a randy little bulldog who constantly tries to mount her. It's got to the stage where as soon as he comes near her it's hackles up and teeth bared and she'll attack him if he comes closer. He's the only dog she has ever reacted to, she normally just wants to play.

I think it took me by surprise tonight but maybe he saw pug and just thought "oh FFS"

This is EXACTLY what he thought. ‘Oh FFS not that Twat Pug again. He can piss right off and I’ll make sure he understands I don’t like him and I never will.’

He'd had his chances!

@tillytoodles1 it's exactly this- he's on alert as soon as he sees him and tonight we didn't have chance to get away
@NoSquirrels thank you ! I feel much better now
DDog has skulked off. I need to go find him and cuddle him. I bloody love him

Completely normal.
My assistance trained (not working now, living as a normal dog) Completely bomb proof, softest ever dog was mounted a couple of times and after patience and trying to get away eventually told randy dogs where to go, not as much as you described but im sure if the owner had not stopped it then its definitely possible. I wasn't bothered. The randy dog owner apologised. Forgot all about it till now.
Dogs cannot say fuck off so this is their fuck off. You'd be calling the police and punching someone random humping you wouldn't you.

As for the other stuff. Sounds like your dog needs more controlled meetings which is fine and also normal. Socialisation is not greeting all dogs thet see and its actually not natural behaviour for dogs to greet all dogs in the community.
Mine won't approach any dogs, if they approach her she stands still, sits and walks away. That's how it should be. She plays with her dog friends who are familiar and safe.
Its ok to ask dog owners to stop their dog approaching yours unless you are both in agreement and control.

My lad is not reactive. He's so laid back he is positively horizontal most of the time. He's the dogs that all the dogs that are scared of other dogs like! But if a bad mannered dog acted like the pug you described, it would have had one warning only, and then he would have "explained" to stay the * away! The best of dogs will only take so much. And they are a little more "direct" than humans often are when explaining stuff! Your dog did nothing wrong.

Your dog did nothing wrong!

It's totally okay for dogs to tell other dogs off when they're being rude. The pug shouldn't have been running over to your dog and licking its' bits - that's awful doggy manners and to be honest the owner is lucky it's not been bitten.

Yes, if your dog is prone to reactivity then keep it leashed, but if other owners choose to let their dogs approach anyway then they have to expect their dogs to be told off sometimes.

My dog is really placid and has been mounted by a few dogs. One in particular really seems obsessed with trying to mount him. He’s less of a puppy now and runs away from him. I had a chat with the owner and said ah maybe let’s stop yours mounting mine and we sorted it before it headed south.

I think that if a human ran up to me in the street and mounted me I would be bloody furious too! I say good on your dog for making it clear that he’s not going to be mounted!

I think not letting yours off the lead in busy places for a while to get his confirmed up and work on the reactivity is a good plan. You’re not a shit owner at all, uou clearly care about doing the right thing!

@pipwoes you have done nothing wrong nor has your dog. Firstly dogs don't need doggy friends. Yes it's nice if they are friendly but just like humans some dogs don't want to be bothered. Your dogs is on the lead so your dog is under control. No dog should be running up to your dog and sniffing and bothering them. I personally would have told the man with the pug to muzzle himself. Your dog was attacked no doubt by an off leash dog - say no more. Read section 3 of the dangerous dogs act its off leash dogs no matter what size at fault. You need more confidence in yourself. Carry on walking your dog go to neon dog for something to attach to your leash. Don't pull any manners if an off leash dog runs up to your dog shout before it does. You have every right to walk your dog. They have no right for their untrained off leash dog to barrel yours. Work on your dogs reactivity as best you can. All dogs are different. I have a reactive dog. Main thing is be confident or your dog picks it up. It's not your fault.