When's the right time to get a dog

[Eliode2000]

I am going to post this also in the mothers section.

I have a two year old and a 4 year old and I am 2 months pregnant with daughter number 3. I have wanted a dog forever but first I couldn't agree whether to adopt or breed, then it was the breed of dog, then the gender, then the colour and when I thought I had it sorted, me and my husband were busy with baby duties in a small flat.
My husband died a month ago and I think us girls need distractions. Of course, it wouldn't just be a distraction, it would be a fur baby. I now live in a big house and have enough money to get a dog. Childcare would be fine when combining kids/dog. My half sis loves dogs and would be happy to dog sit.
I grew up with dogs. I adore dogs and so do my kids. I want a female Cavapoo. I am wondering whether to get one now, when the kids are young, or to get one in lets say 5 years time when they are older.
Experince and help much wanted. Thanks!
xxx Eliode

You have a lot going on at the moment. I am sorry for your loss.

In your situation I can imagine I would be in turmoil and trying as hard as I could to help my children through their loss.

I personally do not think it is a great time to get a dog right now. You have had some massive changes and more to come with your new baby - congratulations.

I would have some peace (If possible in your life) and rethink.

The bonus for your children getting a puppy when they are older is that they can be really involved in the puppy stage and be able to remember it. They can be involved in training etc and they will love that.

Having a puppy now (they are hard hard work) will be exhausting for you and your children would much prefer an unstressed Mum than one split between puppy and them.

I would put this on hold for the time being, make yourself a priority.

I wouldn't get a dog now.
Toddlers and puppies aren't a great combination. Older kids and dogs are better.
I can understand why a pet might be a welcome distraction. Would you consider an older cat? Cats are often much more fun and affectionate than they're given credit for and - if you get the right cat - can be remarkably gentle and patient with children.
My SC had a big dopey old tom cat around when they were little and he was quite happy with being tucked under DSD arm and carted about the house.
Plus no getting up early for walks/late night walks in the rain/snow etc. Easier to leave at home if you're out during the day.

I'm sorry for your loss, this must be such a rough time and I can understand you wanting a dog.

However, I think you literally have your hands too full to take on a dog at the moment. Especially one likely to be quite bouncy, and certainly not a puppy (and it would probably be hard to get an adult). How will you physically manage a toddler plus the 4yo and later pregnancy and then a newborn plus a pup/young dog?

I am also sorry for your loss, OP.

The 'right time' (I think) is when all children are old enough to understand how to behave around a dog and to have the impulse control to do so. In reality, this is probably a few years away yet.

Would a different pet be a nice practice? One that doesn't require so much from you and is easier to control interactions with children?

I got a puppy the day after I found out I was pregnant with DC 2. Its so hard being heavily pregnant with a todler and puppy - I got a labradoodle. I have to drive to walk in secluded places so dog can come off lead as I cant possibly go fast enough to wear her out with my bump (now 35 weeks) and DD in tow(2.5). I'm sure it will be easier in a couple of months but its so difficult to watch a dog and toddler who run off in different directions, the dog has good recall but still needs watching when others are about. My DH works a lot of 12 hours at the moment which is why I'm riding solo a lot but he had to sleep on the sofa with puppy for about two months, if you are going to do it plan a lot of help from family. Unless they are genuinely on bored I'd wait as its quite overwhelming some days!!

So sorry to hear about your husband, it sounds like you have a lot to deal with at the moment.

I have a 13 week old puppy and an older child and it has been so much harder than I ever imagined. I would wait until your children are older and not add more stress to your life now.

I'm sorry for your loss.

I got my dogs when my dc were toddlers, and I think it was too early. Dc2 can't even remember the puppy stage, and they both wish they had been older when the dogs were puppies.

Now the oldest dog has passed away, they are banging on at me for a puppy, but it means I'll be stuck with it when they leave home as they are teenagers now.

I would say wait about 5 years or so, ideal time for me would be when the oldest is early teens and the youngest is pre-teen.

It's also occurred to me since my previous post that I can't imagine any halfway reputable breeder or rescue letting you buy/adopt a puppy or dog from them in your current circumstances. If you managed to find someone who'd let you have one, chances are it would be from a puppy mill or illegal import.

This.....sorry but I don't think you would be doing yourself or the dogs or the kids any favours. I am sorry for your loss.

Ok, thanks :) I thought I probably should wait 5 years

I'm so sorry for your loss.

As others have said its probably not the best time.

Consider how you would exercise the dog. It would need walking in the morning so you'd have to be up with 2 young children and tiny baby after a sleepless night. Would your children be able to walk far enough to properly exercise the dog. You'd need to get everyone ready and out the door at least twice a day to do that too so early morning and evening. Then there is mental stimulation and playing in between. Could you find time to do so in amongst the 3 children, housework and everything else. Dogs need a hell of alot of work. I couldn't have done it as a single parent especially with a newborn.

I have an old dog and a small child. It works great with both. But it would be difficult if I had a young dog and a toddler now. When my dog was young, we were walking every day for 3 hours. Unfortunately that is not possible at the moment. I'm glad that my dog is happy with small walks and lots of time in the garden at a higher age.

I can understand you wanting to bring ease and distraction back into your lives after the difficult loss. But I don't think this is the right time for you to get a dog. Maybe you can ask at a shelter if you can walk a friendly dog sometimes?

From experience, puppies are a full time job for the first few months. They’re bitey land sharks that want to play with everything that moves. Then they turn into stroppy teenagers that give you a filthy look and then bugger off. Or piss in your bed cos, well, who knows - teenage dogs are twats.

After 18 months or so, assuming you’ve put in the work, they’re adorable. But getting there? That bit is hard.

I’m lead to believe babies and toddlers are quite hard work, too. Probably not as much as a puppy, because they don’t come equipped with wire cutters, but still…

Trying to juggle both, the one trying to chew/hump/chase the other, is likely to be a bad life choice.

I’m sorry.

I don't think babies and puppies are that different. Everything is chewed. My child definitely tried to chew on cables. Every crap gets eaten. And if you're not careful, they pee on your sofa. Both small children and small dogs are a lot of work.

Their dentition and jaw power is significantly different though.

so sorry for your loss. if you're going to get a dog, u should also be prepared mentally because it's not easy to add another member in your fam.