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Separation training an 8-year-old dog

8 replies

PositiveThings · 25/07/2022 17:05

My dog has separation anxiety, which I did a lot of training with him for when he was young. After months and months of work with him, this was quite successful and I was able to leave him for up to two hours. I worked at home at the time and my H worked in an office outside of the home. I had to do the training when my H was out at work as he found the separation training boring and wouldn't join in (it involved multiple times leaving the house for seconds then minutes at a time).

H then started working at home during the first lockdown, and our dog was never left alone for the duration of the pandemic due to both H and I working at home. He's never gone back to the office.

Our dog's separation anxiety eventually came back, and now I can't leave him at all - not even for a minute.

My H is controlling and emotionally abusive, and I'm currently making quiet plans to leave. I intend to take our dog with me, but this leaves me with an issue in that, as it currently stands, I'll be living alone with a dog I can't ever leave. I need to be able to leave him so I can go to the gym, shops, etc. Obviously I'll have daycare options, and I can use dog sitters, but for example I go to the gym at 6am for an hour, so it's going to get costly (and not feasible as no daycare is open at that time, and I can't see sitters being willing to come at 6am). I can't even nip to the shops.

The obvious solution is to redo his separation training once I've left H, but my priority is the dog's happiness: I don't want to stress him out. And is it even possible in an 8-year-old dog? Does anyone have any other ideas please? I will be living alone.

OP posts:
Perple · 25/07/2022 17:08

I wonder if once you leave such an awful environment your dog will become less stressed? I imagine he is very worried about looking after you at the moment. I would be hopeful that once your settled into your new cosy little home you will after a time be able to get him to settle

Wolfiefan · 25/07/2022 17:11

The best advice is don’t leave a dog with anxiety for longer than they are happy with. Could you give the gym a miss to start with? Get groceries delivered?
I have dealt with a dog with SA but as a puppy.
I do hope you can get you and your dog out of this situation soon.

PositiveThings · 25/07/2022 17:52

It hadn't actually occurred to me that he might be better once we've left H. Dog does love H very much - he follows him round and loves playing with him - and I'd been worrying that the dog would pine for H.

OP posts:
PositiveThings · 25/07/2022 17:53

Wolfiefan · 25/07/2022 17:11

The best advice is don’t leave a dog with anxiety for longer than they are happy with. Could you give the gym a miss to start with? Get groceries delivered?
I have dealt with a dog with SA but as a puppy.
I do hope you can get you and your dog out of this situation soon.

Yes I'm happy to give the gym etc a miss for a bit until he's settled. I can't bear him being anxious so I wouldn't leave him if it upset him.

So you do think it's possible to retrain him, despite being older?

OP posts:
Perple · 25/07/2022 18:03

I would think there was definitely hope!

Wolfiefan · 25/07/2022 22:30

I haven’t got experience but if he got over it once then a new home but more settled could be fine. Can anyone watch him for a bit if needs be?

PositiveThings · 26/07/2022 09:55

Thanks Smile Fingers crossed he's going to be okay. I've got a friend he can stay with overnight and so on. I don't want to impose too much though - and the 6am starts are too much to ask of any friend! I can always switch to evening gym sessions for a while though.

OP posts:
Wolfiefan · 26/07/2022 22:25

Good luck OP.

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