Is this a mistake? Puppy and 'babying'

[FuckingHateRats]

Absolutely ready to be told we need to cut it out.

Our puppy is coming up 11 weeks. She's doing BRILLIANTLY - sleeps through from 10pm-6am, has picked up toilet training fantastically well (not a single poo accident ever, and we're going days between wee accidents), has been v quick to pick up basic commands (recall by name, and sitting / waiting / down)

We're loving having her in our family, and have reverted to treating her a bit like a baby at times. When he comes in, my husband picks her up and cradles her and gives her kisses. When we watch TV in the evening, she gets to come up and lie on me sometimes (see photo).

Is this a terrible idea? Do we need stricter boundaries? Or is this fine and as long as we continue with the training, we can indulge her with affection as we currently are?

I think it just depends on the dog - some dogs are treated like babies and are fine, some are treated like babies and they don’t respond well to it with their behaviour suffering. If you see no negative change in behaviour then I’d carry on as you please. If problems occur then the babying would be the first thing to stop with in my opinion.
I do agree with pp though about not making a big fuss when leaving/arriving, it can easily create problems with separation anxiety. And as much as I understand loving a dog like a baby - it is always important to remember they are not human babies, they are dogs and need to be respected as such.

Excellent advice.

Nothing wrong with cuddling your dog but it does need to be appropriate and in the right circumstances or you risk creating a dog anxiety and unrealistic expectations in terms of attention.

Baby away, you won't do her any harm. I baby my girl a bit I guess (cuddle her like a baby, cover her head with kisses etc etc) and my boss often looks at me and shakes his head. He points out "Are you aware she is a dog not a child". Erm mate, Yes I know she's a dog but she's my dog. She is perfectly well behaved, very chilled, an absolute dream and brilliant at being able to potter about without the need for constant attention. I guess like us they are all different but yeah baby away.

But yes, totally agree with the above points - don't make a massive fuss when you either leave her or return to her. I sort of ignore her for a bit, whereas I have a friend who has a cavapochon and when she gets home she makes such a bloody fuss and as a result the dog now goes bonkers and is so very needy. So although it's nice to baby them, also beware that she is a dog and needs to have certain boundaries for her own good as well as yours.

It doesn’t sound like she’ll grow too big. General rule is don’t allow or encourage anything as a pup you don’t want them doing as an adult. But quite frankly, your dog -your rules.

Thanks everyone! Really helpful.

Just to clarify, he doesn't make a huge fuss when he comes in. We've been really calm when coming in and out and as such she doesn't even raise her head when the door goes, always has four paws on the ground, doesn't jump up at all (maybe this will come? Hope not). It's more that once he's in and sat down, DH gives her big cuddles on the sofa and snookies her right in. F

Good to read these comments-we've a 10 week old cockapoo, had him for a week & he's coming on but not good with separation, doesn't like his crate being closed in the day. Do we just let him cry for 2 mins, then 3 etc? Sounds like he's maybe not sleeping enough too. Difficult as I'm a childminder & there's a lot of crazy & noisy children here.

Maybe when he's a bit more settled in a few weeks he can go to a quieter room to rest?

Totally clueless about dog training but don't think we can afford. 1-1 trainer. Any other advice most welcome!

Join the Facebook group Dog Training and Advice. The page is run by qualified behaviourists and excellent source of information and support. It is vital for young puppies to get lots of rest and sleep so yes ideally they need a quiet space away from the kids but near you for his sleep.
If at all possible I would definitely recommend a trainer especially if you've never trained a dog before. Most of the time it is the handlers who need training lol.

@twistyizzy thanks, that's good advice - will try to thing of a better setup. Just brought them all to the library to give him a better chance of a nap!

Will check prices of trainers near us & get signed up for the puppy classes. Like parenting, I'm sure there's plenty we're doing wrong 😬

Here's the wee rascal

I have 2 dogs, they are 10 and 9. Had them since one was 9 weeks and the other 7 months.

Me and DH both baby them. They are big dogs but get lots of cuddles and kisses. They share the sofas with us. We both talk to them all the time.

They are not allowed upstairs and they know that. They have no problems whatsoever when we go out and don't bark or cry.

Dogs don't have to be treated like babies but they are part of the family and, as such, I think should be included and get attention and affection.

My neighbour has a small lapdog type breed. When she and her husband are at work or out of the house for any reason he is indoors. When one or both of them are home he is tied up in the garden with a bowl of food and water. Some days he is out there from around 9am until around 11pm. I would guess they take him indoors and then go to bed.

So he spends almost all of his time on his own. I have seen both of them pass him in the garden and they don't even speak to him. Yet she puts pictures of him on facebook saying how much she loves him!

Hi,

I haven't read all the advice you've already had so might be repeating what others have said.

Firstly, huge well done on the training, that's impressive for 11 weeks old and you've clearly put in lots of work.

With regards to 'boundaries', forget any myths you've heard about not letting them on the furniture, loads of rules people still stick to come from rank reduction which has been thoroughly debunked. This includes things like people eating before dogs, dogs not going upstairs, dogs not going through doors first... all a load of hokum.

The only thing that matters is what you want her to get used to long term, baring in mind she'll get a lot bigger and in the winter might expect to come in from a walk and jump on the sofa etc.
But you can start training her the house rules you want her to know now, for instance, teaching her to come up on the sofa only when invited, or when a certain blanket is up on the sofa.

Also, as a complete aside and forgive me from giving advice on something you didn't ask about, as she's a summer pup and still in that vital socialisation window (under 4 months) I'd think about anything she's going to need to get used to in the winter and make sure she's exposed to as much as possible whilst she's young, e.g., towelling her paws, people wearing bobble hats and gloves and big coats (although maybe wait until next week for that one!).

And with regards to whether babying is wrong/bad... all she's learning from it is that being around you is lovely! As long as she's also getting used to sometimes not being around you, and sometimes settling by herself even whilst you're there, then there's nothing wrong with also giving her lots and lots of cuddles!!

Best of luck with her, she's super cute.

Dog cuddles on the sofa in the evening are one of life's great joys. We lost our girl last month and I miss her head on my lap and stroking those velvety ears so much. When we get a new pup he'll be straight up on the sofa! Just teach "off" and make sure the sofa is yours first and foremost. My friends dog got taught to wait until he was asked to come up. But evening cuddles in front of the telly are great and the best end to the day.

My girl dog is my baby, she sits on my lap like a baby and thinks she’s human. She is extremely
loving and loves to cuddle into me. Currently
pregnant and she taps me on the arm in the morning and asks to come under the covers and curl into my bump. Not sure what she’s going to think when I have a real baby, her nose will be v much put out of joint. My boy dog is a baby too but he’s more of a dog than my little girl 💕 I absolutely adore my dogs, so does DH, they are very loved and very much a huge part our family. I enjoy ‘babying’ them.

Our pug has been babied and does have terrible separation anxiety, we have been working on leaving him in a controlled manner, we treat him the same and he has got better so not sure there is any connection really.

Our 5 month old malamute is not anxious at all, I don't think we've babied him any less with regards to affection, cuddles on sofa etc but he has no clue he is so big which can be interesting. We have been stricter with him with regards to training for things like not jumping up/pulling etc but I wouldn't say significantly differently.

As long as they are well trained and used to be left alone then I don't think it really matters.

Our dog (working breed) gets loads of cuddles and handling and has from day one with the breeder and then with us. She has the loveliest, friendliest, most gentle, chilled nature.