How soon did you get a new dog?

[Theala]

Just out of interest.

Our beloved girl died suddenly on Saturday.

Dd (6) is asking when we'll get a new dog. Dh says no way, no how, never again, but I know that's his grief talking.
I've told Dd it'll take a long while to find a new dog that's right for our family to buy time.
I don't want a new dog, but the house feels so empty. And we live invrhe country, so there's also the practical aspect of having a dog around.

I'm not going to rush into anything, don't worry, just wondering.

It's got to be when you are both ready
We lost our 12 year old lab in February 21 - he was much loved and lots of people knew and liked him. We knew it was inevitable but found it hard to accept that it would happen. In June we got a pup. It felt like quite a long gap but it was only 4-5 months.

I wanted to get another dog sooner but DH was against it. He was grieving in a different way to me and I had to accept that and wait it out. I volunteered to walk a friends 6 month old puppy a day a week which helped me cope.

I remember we were on holiday and everywhere were dogs and we felt so bereft like we'd lost a vital member of our family. We kept going up and asking people if we could stroke their dogs all the time. It made us both realise how much we wanted a dog and helped us both talk about it - as DH hadn't wanted to til then. We came home feeling like we were ready to start looking for another dog. You don't love the last one less when you get another one, you love them differently.

Aww so sorry for the loss of your dog, it’s very upsetting I know.

When we lost our dog, pts at 13, about 14 years ago now, I said to DH, if I am ever daft enough to say I want another dog, remind me of today. We haven’t ever got another, we often think about it, as our DS’ are grown up now,(21 & 19). But for us we had a dog and cats long before we started our family. I remember what a tie and how expensive it is. Sometimes I do think about getting another, but my health usually makes me decide no.

But there is no, right or wrong way to grieve, a friend of mine got a pup, within days of losing her lab as she couldn’t cope without a dog. Do what’s right for your family, but you really all need to be onboard with it, you forget what hard work pups can be when you have lost an adult dog.

Imo there is a ddog awaiting patiently to fill that ddoggy shaped whole op.
When we knew ddog was being pts we got a dpuppy - also had other ddogs so not same as you - but I needed a new focus and so wanted any new ddog to have at least met ddog...
Now have 4. Dh has mumbled we won't keep sticking with 4 will we?
Sorry for your loss.

20+ years. Similar breed.
Motherhood, work commitments and apartment living got in the way.
I knew most of the care would fall to me and I wouldn’t give my time up willingly. So when our youngest DC was 13 we started talking seriously and after 12 months of DDog we can’t imagine life without him.

You’ll know when you’re ready. Take time to grieve and adjust before jumping in again.

We lost our boy in April 2020 aged 15 and it was utterly heart breaking. Two years on and I'm not sure we will get another dog because it was so incredibly painful and we wouldn't want to go through it again. Also, being completely honest, we have freedoms now that we couldn't have had with a dog and I wonder if we could go back to that. We both love dogs and have a Borrow My Doggy pup who comes to visit each week which allows us a dog fix and helps his owner out too.

I'm very sorry for your loss, it's absolutely devastating and a unique kind of awful pain.

We rescued a little dog only 3 months after our beautiful boy passed away and it was the worst mistake of my whole life. Neither myself or DH believe in rehoming so we are stuck in this terribly unhappy place and the thought of the years stretching ahead of me fills me with a terrible depression. But rescue dog needs us after an awful start so we plough on.

If I had my time over again I wouldn't listen to that voice telling me another dog would ease the pain of losing my beautiful, perfect, soulmate of a boy. Please be careful of rushing into anything you can't back out of.

In many ways it feels like my life is over now my boy is gone so nothing really matters anyway, but I wish someone had warned me just how more difficult another dog would make things. Please take lots of time to think about it, OP.

I’m sorry for the loss of your dog.

A wise person on here once said the time is right when you miss having a dog rather than miss that dog. It can be hard to tell when that may be.

When our one-year old dog died suddenly we actually had a new puppy within a week. We never stopped missing the dog who died and feeling very sad, but having a new puppy helped me a lot as I worked alone from home and needed a reason to get out for walks. The two of them were very different personalities and one could never replace the other in our hearts.

When this dog goes (she's 12 now) we could well wait longer as I am no longer alone during the day and we will be mourning a longer relationship.

We said no way too but 6 months after our lab died we got our pup.
Different breed, we couldn't face getting a he same breed as felt we would constantly be comparing new dog to old dog.

That’s a really good way of putting it.

We’ve always had at least two dogs, so never had the issue. Plus dogs seem to come into our life, rather than us deciding to get them.

This sounds so sad, for all involved. I’d talk to your rescue again. As long as it’s done right, rehoming is no shame. One of mine had four homes before he got to us and spent the rest of his life with us.

When our first beloved ddog died we waited about six weeks. We had agreed to go away, go to the beach for the day, city shopping and all sorts of stuff now we didn't have that tie. But nope! I found myself acting like a weirdo - feeling weird going for walks alone, saying hello to dogs being walked and ignoring their owners, obsessing about breeds... so we got ddog2. Then DS got one (ddog3), and we had two for a few years, and when ddog2 died having another one really helped soften the blow. Now, many years later, ddog3 is on his last legs and a week ago I saw a gorgeous ddog online in a shelter, and they're about to do a home check on us and I've already paid towards her jabs - I am super excited!

2 weeks. I can’t not have a dog at my feet

It was 2 and a bit years for me. Lost my girl Jan '11 and got next dog Easter '13. Different breed as I couldn't 'replace' my old dog. I absolutely love my dog, she's 9 years old now and I wouldn't be without her but still miss my old friend.

We lost our beloved Yorkie in April 2021. We are only now looking to have another dog. We will be getting a different breed so we do not have constant reminders of the dog we lost.

We had her for 10 years and the grief has been long. We still get upset thinking about her. However we have used this last 18 months to enjoy the freedom we didn't have before and swore that we wouldn't get another dog tying us down. However, as a pp said, when you start to want a dog, rather than your previous dog, then you are ready. We will hopefully be having a rescue dog in the summer.

Sorry for the loss of your dog, take time to grieve and don't rush things.

@SouffleGirl1 my heart goes out to you. I lost my darling boy, aged 13, in February and I, too, feel like my life is over. I cry for him every day and honestly feel that losing him has made me ill. I absolutely love dogs, but can't ever face going through the pain of losing one again. I also feel like I'd never love another dog like I love my boy. Instead, I support a local dog charity and have looked after neighbours dogs, but it's just not the same. If you feel you really can't love your new dog, then think about rehoming him. He deserves to be loved unconditionally too. It's a very sad situation, particularly for your new dog who just wants you to love him.

Everyone is different and i will never have any judgement for anyone on this!
When our family dog died we expected it to be several months before we were ready but the house was just so quiet without him. He'd been ill for some time and we knew we wanted another dog of a different breed so i think it ended up being about 4 months in the end which still felt like way too long! But honestly i dont think there is a 'too soon' for this unless one family member is 100% against it.
However when our current dog goes (a very long way off as she's still a pup) i fully anticipate it will take me much longer to be ready - she's the centre of the universe as far as im concerned and the thought of being without her is absolutely unthinkable.
Much love to everyone on this thread who has lost a special furry family member.

Two months. I couldn't bear not having a dog around - it felt as if part of my identity had been ripped away, because I'd always been 'the doggy one' since childhood. At first, I also couldn't bear to have a dog around who wasn't our beloved boy, but then a friend posted a pic on FB of a dog she was fostering for a rescue, who'd just been given up by his family after a change in circumstances, and I dreamed about him that night. We went for a walk with him a couple of days later and he was very very different but he just felt right.

Mine died four years ago. I think I have been ready for a new dog for about a year now, so for me, 3 years perhaps. She was special though. I've had other (wonderful) dogs, but there'll never be another like her. She was genuinely as dear to me as a sister. I didn't have children of my own then, so she kind of filled that space.

It is so so personal. With another dog in another life stage it will probably be a shorter time.

To help your DD, would you consider mini pets in the meantime? Gerbils or something? Or can you look after a friend's dog sometimes? The latter might also help DH figure out if/when he's ready.

A year. After lots of arguments and tears! Dh didn't want to go through it all again, so grief-stricken, but my feelings are that it's worth it. My answer would be to have half a dozen dogs wrecking the place, so it would be less of a space left when one went, but that's never going to happen.

We waited a year after we lost our beloved dog aged 14. I probably would have waited longer, but DH was very eager to have another dog so I allowed myself to be persuaded. I'm so glad I did. Our new dog is just over a year old now and an absolute delight. I still miss our old boy and I think I always will. He was one of a kind. But the love I have for our old dog doesn't at all take away from the love I have for the new one. They both have special places in my heart.

A week later.Not the norm I know but the house seemed freakishly quiet and the heartbreak was unbearable

So sorry you've lost your ddog. I lost mine in April 21. People keep asking me when I'll get another and my answer is never. He is irreplaceable.

But we're all different and you must do what feels right

So sorry that you have lost your dog.
I had a very short gap between my first two dogs, but with my current dog I waited nearly two years. My life was easier without a dog, but I felt “wrong” dog less.

Sorry for your loss. 💐

A week. It wasn’t planned! Our amazing Labrador was only five and a half when we lost him to cancer. We were bereft and so was our other, older dog. A friend of a friend had heard we’d lost him and contacted us out of the blue; her sister had a ten month old lab puppy that she couldn’t cope with. Would we be interested? Crazily, we said yes. He was a bit of a whirlwind and I admit I did regret taking him but that soon passed. Four years on he’s now the loveliest (daftest) dog and I’m so glad we have him.