Advice please - leaving dog alone

[madmay]

Copying my post in a new thread as posted it on the back of another by mistake (gave asked MN to delete that one).

I hope it's okay to post here as we've not yet got a puppy but I wanted to ask those with experience.

So, we've been thinking of getting a puppy for some time, done a fair bit of research, found a reputable breeder, etc.

I am about to take up a new job for which it's not certain how much time I would be able to work from home. There would be no time for me to pop back home as a long commute. As such, the care of the puppy from the start will fall to dd(17). We've not had a dog before but dd is insistent she will be the primary person to attend to dog's needs (we've talked through how it comes with responsibilities and restrictions on her own time).

We've looked at her school timetable and she's worked out when she will be at home to attend to the dog (she's just gone into year 13 and we live 5 minutes away). She is madly keen. I think in lots of ways she would benefit.

However, I have no idea if this would be okay for a pup. I've attached the schedule which shows when she will be home ('HOME') and when in school ('IN'). Also showing is the worst case scenario of when the puppy might be alone during the week for a period of 2-3 hours (to try and work out if we would need to consider a dog sitter/puppy visits/daycare). I appreciate the pup would need a large crate and enclosed space to keep it safe whilst no-one is there.

So I am looking to you good people for advice around this please. Does this look feasible? Did any of you leave your puppy alone at the start for similar amounts of time? Did they cope well with a 'pop back and play schedule)? Were there any negative impacts on the pup? The breed would be a Cavapoo.

Sorry for the long convoluted post at an unearthly hour. Have woken up worrying about this and whether we would be crazy to take the next step.

[KangarooKenny]

What is your DD going to do next year ? Is she moving away to Uni ?
Its too long to be left alone as a puppy, you need to be there to teach toilet training. Using puppy pads is not the way to go.
Personally I think it’s being left alone far too much. Does the breeder know how long it will be left ?

[BookShop]

Seems like too long for the pup to be left to me. Also, it’s a huge responsibility that has to be done everyday. When its raining, snowing etc. will your DD honestly want to be walking back and forth at a time when her friends are grabbing a drink and hanging out?

I don’t think a puppy is the right choice.

[3WildOnes]

I don't think this will work at all. In the first few weeks you needs to be with them pretty much all day as you need to take them out to wee regularly.
I also think it is really unlikely thay your 17 year old is going to want to pop back every single break she has, surely she will want to have lunch with her friends on some days?

[ineedafairygodmother]

Everyone is going to give you different opinions on this I'm afraid!
My puppy was left from the start, although we had another dog at the time so she had company. We crate trained and used puppy training pads. She can now be left alone all day whilst I'm at work or out.
IMO you can molly coddle a puppy too much so that you can never leave them alone in the house and you are tied to them or you can start as you mean to go on. Your schedule looks fine to me with the amount of time your daughter is home and she could gradually decrease the time so that your puppy gets used to be left for longer periods of time.

[WhenDovesFly]

I wouldn't do it under these circumstances. As a young pup you need to be there for long periods, socialising it and toilet training it. You can't just leave the pup with puppy pads and expect it to learn. You also need to be teaching basic commands like sit, stay etc. What happens next year or the year after if your DD goes to uni or college or gets a job? A dog is for life as they say and it wouldn't be fair to be leaving it alone for longer periods when circumstances change.

[dudsville]

Puppies are adorable but a ton of work, and i don't think it's a safe choice to rely on your daughter to be the main person. There are to many unknowns. What of she started fell in love or her friendship group started an engrossing activity, etc., etc., and a puppy needs more frequent input re toilet training than your schedule allows for. You'd be better with an adult dog who needs a quiet space.

[Newfluff]

However wonderful and however much your DD wants a dog year 13 is not the right age bracket for her to be the main carer.

What if she stays for extra revision/teaching sessions, what will you do when she has exams, stays round friends, gets a job, goes out for the day. What about after y13.

Dogs are such a massive tie, I think you need to start your new job and see how that goes first.

[coffeecupsandfairylights]

Nope. Please don't do this, and please don't get a puppy and rely on your 17yo to do the majority of the care.

Puppies need a huge amount of time and input. They need taking to the toilet every 20-30 minutes. They need cuddles, reassurance, attention, training, play.

Your DD will get utterly fed up of being restricted by the puppy and she won't want to go back home to deal with destruction, pee and poo on all her breaks.

It's far too much alone time for a puppy. With that schedule, you will need to pay for daycare (around £20-25 a day), but, speaking as someone who works with dogs, you won't find a space easily - all our local daycares have been fully booked for months.

If she wants a puppy she can wait until she's moved out.

[mirrorballer]

I wouldn't make a plan based on your daughter managing this.
She might get a job, go off to uni or just be completely fucking useless and stick to this schedule for about 2 weeks.

If you're going to be out of the house for a long period of time then you really need to consider someone coming in or doggy day care.

We have left ours but not on their own. So we've left an older dog with a younger one so they have company.

Very rarely more than 4 hours without someone popping in to let them out, have a play and give them some treats.

[mirrorballer]

And as PPs have said, this schedule might work later but not when they're little. Apart from anything, they're toilet training and need to go out very regularly. Not doing that and relying on puppy pads means you're teaching the puppy it's ok to go in the house and will mean training takes much longer.

[dolphinsarentcommon]

Your daughter is v unlikely to be around for the next 10-15 years and that is the commitment.

Don't.

[Nap1983]

Tbh that schedule would probably be ok for my DD now (2) if he’d been a good walk before being left. But as a pup, no way I could have left him for big chunks daily. He is also apparently my DDs dog, she probably does 10% of the work… the novelty wears off

[motogirl]

I left my dog for 3.5 hours each day from the start, he was absolutely fine. Once he got older (6 months) he was left a little longer some days and by 1 he could be left a full work day if required (this wasn't common as I worked 3 hours a day but on occasion I had pm projects for work). This is breed specific though. Being a collie mine wanders off elsewhere in the house most of the time, many hours he would be in his favourite spot under a bush in the garden that he dug out as a pup. Always been like it, but sheepdogs aren't with their farmer all day long everyday and often roam about (I've played with many a sheepdog on beaches in Scotland who wander down to beg for picnic food!)

Labradors however can be very destructive if left!

I would also caution that your dd17, how will you cope once she leaves?

[mirrorballer]

@motogirl

I left my dog for 3.5 hours each day from the start, he was absolutely fine. Once he got older (6 months) he was left a little longer some days and by 1 he could be left a full work day if required (this wasn't common as I worked 3 hours a day but on occasion I had pm projects for work). This is breed specific though. Being a collie mine wanders off elsewhere in the house most of the time, many hours he would be in his favourite spot under a bush in the garden that he dug out as a pup. Always been like it, but sheepdogs aren't with their farmer all day long everyday and often roam about (I've played with many a sheepdog on beaches in Scotland who wander down to beg for picnic food!)

Labradors however can be very destructive if left!

I would also caution that your dd17, how will you cope once she leaves?

You were lucky with a collie. They can often be really neurotic and struggle with separation anxiety. They can also be very destructive!

[RedAngel19]

I wouldn't for reasons for other posters have already said.

Schedule looks fine for an older puppy that's already trained or an older dog. It was absolutely full on when we had our puppy. The first two weeks were spent going out to the garden every 15-20 mins for the toilet then standing there waiting for to pee or poo. It felt unrelenting at the time and exhausting and that was with my DP helping when he was around and my older child also chipping in.

Secondly, whilst I admire your DD in wanting to help out, it's a HUGE commitment for her and not one to be underestimated. Even if she's prepared to commit every break to coming home for the dog, would you recall want her to curb her freedom like this? I love my dog but still feel sad about the loss of my freedom. Easier now I can leave the dog for a couple of hours but every thing I plan is around the dog.

Perhaps an option is an older rescue dog? A friend of mine did this as she wanted to skip the puppy stage. It's worked out well for her as her rescue wants to sleep all day and is happy to stay at home (she thinks perhaps because it was previously a street dog). Therefore, it hasn't really impacted her life much in the sense that she can be out for several hours and the dog is perfectly content at home. Could you do this and use a combination of your DD and a sitter whilst you're at work?

[MumofSpud]

I agree as others have said - if a puppy's main caters are somebody starting a new job and a Year 13 then this is the wrong time to get a puppy.
When we got ours (he's now 8) we worked out a time when there was always somebody with him for the first 3 months - as another OP has said it is relentless (even with me/DH and a 16/10 year old in the house)
Presumably your Year 13 will be off to Uni next year / full-time work - how come her school would let her in/ out all day?

[madmay]

Thanks for all your replies. I've read and re-read these and gone backwards and forwards re a decision but have eventually decided that, on reflection, the timing isn't right, as many of you have said.

Whilst I do think it would benefit my dd, in the short-term, in potentially relieving her stress of A' levels next year, following those, she hopes to do a bridging course before university. I think this is a really good plan for her as she needs to develop her confidence and experience 'freedom' and 'independence' in a relatively safer, structured environment before embarking on a degree course where there will be alot of independent study. A dog would curtail that incremental and formative development in being very tying and it's more important that she takes that independent step unrestrained. That would then mean its care would also be left (quite rightly) to me and I can't commit to that at the moment as my work hours are not certain.

So, I've told the breeder that we won't take a pup this time but will look at doing so in the future once things are more settled re my own work. It's a bit sad but absolutely the right decision and one the breeder understands. She's a really ethical and sound breeder (why I liked her) and we're in agreement that this isn't perhaps the right time.

Thanks for all your responses - they really helped me to think through the issue.