Is It Really That Bad?

[Spacemonkey2016]

Hi all. I really want to get a puppy at the end of the year. I'm trying to research everything properly, to make sure it's a good idea for our family and the future dog. But everything I read seems to discourage people with young children to do so. My children will be 6 and 3.....is it really such a terrible idea? They'd only be a small dog, and we both WFH for the majority of the week. I grew up with a dog from the moment I was born, until I was 15 he bought so much joy to my childhood. I want that for my children, and dogs are the only pet animal they're not allergic to. (Well, only pet animal I'd have in my house, anyway!)

Can anyone add any positivity about getting a puppy with reasonably young children? Unpopular on Mumsnet, I know, but the dog would be either a cavapoo or a cockerpoo. puts my hard hat on

We’ve just had a cockerpoo puppy , he’s 10 weeks now and the biting 🤬 he’s like a crocodile and it’s relentless . You need to distract them constantly with toys and get good boundaries coz they are so intelligent ! We got a metal playpen to put him in as time out when he won’t stop biting and he shuts the door after you get him out thinking you won’t be able to put him back in then ! He’s so lively and bouncy . It probably depends on your household too . If you’re calm and don’t like chaos I’m not sure if a cockerpoo is for you ! Our puppy has us literally running round in circles and don’t get me started on the poo ! He’s a non stop pooing machine but tbf he’s very easy to train but getting him to stand still for long enough to listen is another thing lol !
get loads of toys , stuff to stimulate because they will get bored and a million puppy pads !

they do LOVE cuddles , very affectionate dogs and I’ve noticed he bites more when he’s tired so a nice little chill out zone away from the kids might work .

I used to say I would never have a puppy again but he’s soooo cute and the puppy dog eyes get me every time !

I would also wait a while. Puppies are very hard work and require a lot of attention. Poodles and poodle crosses are v clever and need plenty of stimulation.. Not to mention the expensive regular grooming.

I would also look more at temperament than size. Small dogs like cocker pops can be very high energy, so not necessarily suited to a small garden.

Larger dogs can be much more sedate and calm as adults. Are you set on smaller breeds for aesthetics? Larger dogs can be much calmer as adults around children and don’t automatically need big gardens as long as they get good walks.

*cockerpoos!

We had our son when our dog was about 2. They are best pals. It is glorious for both of them. We have a whippet. Our dog is very protective of our son. They are thick as thieves. BUT it is hard. Walking with a pram, keeping eyes on both of them when at the park, giving everyone enough attention etc. it does depend on the dog, many puppies take a dislike to children especially if they never leave them alone / are constantly picking them up etc so you'd have to watch that. We don't know any different but I'd imagine it would have been easier without the dog and we regularly have him stay with a friend to give everyone a break. That said, we all adore our dog and wouldn't be without him so 🤷🏽‍♀️

My kids are 6 & 8 and we have a 10 month old puppy. Perhaps we just hit the jackpot but hit it we did - the kids were playing a new version of kiss kill marry, keep/kill (I know)… I heard them say “mummy or puppy-name?” The response was keep puppy, kill mummy. I already knew they loved her unconditionally (which is the most amazing bit about kids and dogs) and there was the evidence.

she’s a small dog, seems to just know her place and the kids know even to leave her be (with a bit of growling from me occasionally). She is a x breed furry terrier type - basically your proper mongrel, we knew her mum and the family knew her dad - an accidental meeting on the farm!

we tried to have a puppy three years ago so kids were 3 & 5, a gorgeous puppy, purebred, he was unfortunately hit by a car. But I was finding it really really tough going - I was just worn out parenting and had so little left for puppy. It’s worlds apart now kids are slightly bigger.

I was almost put off my the you’ll never go on holidays again / tied to the dog scenarios but all that has fallen into place. A mum from the school takes pup when I travel and a neighbour lets her out if I’m gone for the day (which is rare as I work from home) but she is complexly fine when I leave her alone, I usually find her conked out asleep on the third stair on my return.

The problem with getting puppies with small children is that at times one of the other will need 100% of your time. It is then impossible to split yourself in half.

So DC need you in the bathroom for example and the puppy wees on the floor.
You are helping DC with homework and the puppy is chewing up the books on the side.

DC go out to clubs and the puppy is not happy to be left on their own.

On a walk your puppy needs training and attention to ensure good recall and your DC want to kick leaves and have your attention as there is a stream.

Obviously only examples but the biggest problem people have is the immediate need of both the puppy and the DC. This can last for a while with some dogs.

If you wait until you DC are a bit bigger they can really enjoy the puppy stage and be involved with the dog. Do some training and caring for the puppy (in their own terms! you will still have to do most of it). There will be less pressure on you and the whole event will be more enjoyable.

Having said all of that I have always had dogs, and had a puppy when my DC were 3 & 4!

We got a puppy with a young family (youngest just toddling). It was hard work but it worked out well. The DC were pretty good about their toys and the puppy, and the puppy grew up into a confident and kid-social dog.

The only tricky thing was finding time for training. She never had a really good recall (decent, but not brilliant), but she housetrained well.

The DC have all grown up into massive dog-lovers, and are confident and sensible around them.

What todays socks said. There is a reason that so many people with young families give up on puppies and dogs.

Age 3 is too young for most children (not all) to be responsible around puppies. A dog cafe wouldn't let you in at that age either.

We committed all the MN sins - got a doodle breed, young children etc etc

It has been amazing. The dog is a thorough part of our family and young DD and the dog are just gorgeous together

Ah it's nice to hear some positives. I absolutely wouldn't have considered a dog when my son was 3, but DD is infinitely calmer and gentler by nature, and happier to instructions. DS much better now he's older and mature for his age, I'd say.

I assumed a lab would need quite a lot of outside space to run around in.

We have a medium sized garden but our lab rarely gets her exercise from running about out there apart from occasional zoomies. It's a useful space for doing bits of training, treat scattering, find it games, paddling pool in the summer etc. but it's not used as an exercise space.

We have always had dogs, and continue to do so now we have children. DS are 4 and 8. Since they were born we have introduced 3 puppies to the household (at different times!). As long as you are prepared to spend the necessary time training the puppy and managing interactions between the puppy and children at the very early stages, I wouldn't say it is a problem. It is important to allow the puppy a calm, safe space of their own (e.g. a crate) they can relax in away from the children, and for you to keep the puppy safe and unable to get into bad habitats (like chewing furniture or cables!) when you can't supervise them. Also important that the children are taught to respect the puppy (and their space). Puppies are hard work, but if you put the work in when they are young, it is so much easier (and less work) when they are older. I'd also echo the recommendations to find a reputable breeder, which is much harder than you may think. Also larger/medium breeds would be fine with a smaller garden i would think, so base the decision on the temperament of the breed not garden size. Labradors and retrievers often make really good family pets.

Both those dogs are mental, everyone I know that has a dog with the poo in it says they are bonkers although that could be down to lack of training. My friend has a cavapoochon and it's high energy and on the go all the time.

I have a border terrier. Great dogs. Clever, love a walk, love a kip and love chilling. I often come home and think thank god I got the breed I did. Research very carefully, make sure you have enough time to dedicate to training etc.

I have a poo and she isn’t bonkers, she is high energy sometimes but very friendly, loves a walk and is exactly the same as yours in that she’s clever, loves a walk, loves a kip and very happy chilling

Most dogs are badly behaved because owners haven't done their research and haven't committed to their training.

I walk several cockapoos and they're all excellently behaved, calm in the house and great with other dogs.

We have teenagers but when we got our pug puppy the biting was awful, I can't imagine having young kids at that stage, it was horrible.

We have more recently got a large breed (he's 25kg at 20 weeks) and he's not bitey at all, he's very gentle however when he jumps up its pretty full on. Overall I would say he is easy with little kids though than the little one at the same age. I think it's perhaps that we know what we're doing more now and also have used the trainer we had with our first dog from earlier on.

I am not sure, as long as you know you won't leave them alone with them and that they will understand how to carry out the training etc also. Having a few very early training session 1:1 would help.

It's hard work, mine has had me in tears on a few occasions and I wanted to send him back on many😂.
He chews anything and everything, he jumps up, he steals food, I couldn't even go to the shop for milk when I first got him because of his separation anxiety.
But he is amazing with my girls 2 and 5, who absolutely know he is not a toy and to respect him.
we were very lucky that he has never been mouthy and hasn't once nipped them or me. The breeder suggested him because he was calm and gentle.
My 5 year old is being assessed for asd and was scared of dogs, he came up to her and popped his head on her lap and that was that, they have been inseparable ever since, he is like the therapy dog I didn't know I needed.
I would recommend a good breeder that health checks though and insurance.
Mine is about to cost me the best part of two grand for cherry eye treatment, even though hes a mongrel

We have a pug and it's honestly the kid-friendliest breed I have ever met. He adores kids. They are his favourite people and he has had endless patience for kids cuddling/stroking/kissing him since he has been a tiny puppy. I have always taken him on the primary school run and to my daughter's horse riding yard. He is a very popular boy among her friends. His two favourite things are getting fussed and cuddling up to anyone on the bed/sofa.

We are very lucky with his health, as he doesn't have the pug breathing issues and has slightly longer legs and a slimmer build than the usual pugs. In terms of temperament, you really can't beat the pug. (And we used to have a poodle years ago).

Get a boxer

I always enjoy the puppy stage and do not find out much work. I suppose it may depend on the puppy and on how much time you have available.

Oops, apologies, hadn't meant to tag my post to the original OP's. Sorry, OP - will ask for it to be removed

@madmadmay what are you going to do when DD finishes school or gets bored? Or finds a new hobby?

I would always get a puppy that was born in April/may. Just because it’s so much easier to house train/first walks in the summer. I’ve always had dogs with kids so don’t really get the issue. One things I’d say is take your pup to kennels from a young age, even just one night at a time, if you leave it too late it could become an issue, especially if you work from home, pup will be very attached. That way you’ll be able to holiday etc.