So we are finally discussing dog ownership....

[BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz]

Tell me its highs and lows.

I feel a real weight of responsibility getting a breed that benefits from the home and lifestyle we have. We will take our time - like glacial, to make sure its the right dog. That we are right for them.

There are so many thoughts racing around my mind - I'd prefer older, let's give them a wonderful couple of years of sleeping on the bed, snuggles and treats, get the one from the shelter who no one else wants as it's not got long left. Dh wants from pup.

I'm more adopt don't shop, he thinks we should get from a reputable breeder as we can ensure we get exactly the right breed for our lifestyle....

But the thought that we would have a pet who we can all just pour our love onto, and who will enjoy being part of our family.

Dog ownership - worth it?

they are an enormous and very tying commitment. Ive just had to spend another £300 on vaccines and checkups today too ugh.. however totally worth it for me..

But I made sure I had the lifestyle and finances to be able to facilitate it. Holidays can only be booked around dog sitter availability (very limited these days) rather than when we would prefer to go away. We work from home most of the time, and never leave the dogs unattended for longer than 4 hrs a day. Too many people leave them all day, which would never be right. so sort of depends what your lifestyle is like.

depends on so many factors…
who will be looking after the pup during the day?
do you need a dog that can be left?
what kind of lifestyle do you have?

Why not talk to DH about starting off with an older rescue dog, to see how the reality of dog ownership is in reality! With a view to getting a puppy in time.

make him watch back to back episodes of 'the dog house' 🤣🤣🤣

You can get breed specific rescues.
puppies are bloody hard work but yes you do get to start from scratch. It takes ages to find a decent breeder.

Being honest l think taking on a dog is something most people vastly under estimate, hence why so many dogs after a few months are up for rehoming.
You need to factor in alot of time, patience and energy every single day, they need a good routine.

Dogs are a huge commitment - don't underestimate how much work they are.

Puppies are hard work in that they need training from scratch - toileting, commands, socialisation, how to walk on a lead, how to behave around other dogs/people/children, how to travel in car etc...

But older dogs come with their own issues too. Arthritis, joint problems, deafness, blindness, dementia, age-related illnesses, loss of bladder/bowel control, more expensive in terms of insurance and vet bills...

However, for me, they are 100% worth it. I can't imagine living my life without a dog in it again.

Our lifestyle:-

I work from home 100%. We are a 5min walk from a park with a dedicated doggy social area. Dh is term time only so lots of time off during the school holidays. We have two dc in Primary (but over 7yo). We holiday mainly in the UK in airb nb or similar.

We do not have a garden which is a massive barrier, I acknowledge. We have some outside space (private) but it is small. Great proximity to park (see above), beach, woodland walks etc.

We waited until we were in a position to have at least one of us home with the dog for the vast majority of the time. We did huge amounts of research into breeds and whether to get a rescue dog or a puppy. Went for a puppy in the end as we have a son so didn't want to take the risk of getting a dog with behavioural issues or that was unpredictable. Once we'd settled on a breed we looked for decent breeders. There were a lot of adverts for 'purebred pups only $100' or 'can deliver puppy to you' etc type ads which we steered well clear of. Found a decent breeder who quizzed us for ages about our lifestyle, whether we had experience with dogs and who showed us the litter and we met the mum and dad. He took them for all the puppies early vet appointments and was rigorous with their vaccines before we got our puppy. They also had a child in the house and he was handling the puppies and fussing the mum so the dogs were clearly comfortable around kids. It was really tough having a puppy, she wee'd constantly for the first couple of weeks all over the house and would chew everything she could get her teeth on! You have to be really careful about what you leave around the house. There were absolutely times we regretted getting her, she could be a massive pain as a puppy but those regretful moments soon passed as she's so much fun to be around. She's almost 2 years old now and 100% a part of this family. She is such a character, so soft and affectionate and so playful with our son. We found walking her twice a day a breeze, it's nice to be guaranteed to get out of the house every day and we are a lot fitter for it. If you do get a dog you will have times when they drive you mad - for ages we couldn't let her off the lead because she would get so distracted and wander off, but with lots of training she now consistently comes back and is a lot better behaved. If you are consistent and put lots of time into training them and can give them a loving home then that effort you put in will come back to you in a lovely dog.

“We have some outside space (private) but it is small.”

Secure and accessed easily from your house? If not, I’d honestly really not want a puppy - housetraining is a pain at the best of times, without somewhere easy to do it in it’s a nightmare and takes longer.

It's been great having a dog, am we are a year in and having her has cheered up some dark days

You'll be fine and make it work

Very secure and straight out of the utility room door. 7foot walls around it type secure.

To be honest if you're looking for a dog that's older and might only have a couple of years left, the breed isn't particularly important. I'd be looking more at the individual character of the dog (e.g. dog / child / cat friendly, able to be left, any behavioural issues you feel would be beyond your abilities).

It sounds like the outside space you have is similar to the small concrete yard I have as an excuse for a garden (renting so can't change it). It's not ideal, and ddog would certainly prefer to poo on grass, but he has lived to tell the tale. He sunbathes, goes for a wee and poos if necessary there. It's much, much easier than the previous flat we had where it was grass but the garden was communal and insecure.

To be fair if you're willing to take one of the less 'popular' dogs (including one that's getting on a bit in years) then rescues will be more willing to let things like a concrete yard slide. If you were more exacting in your requirements you might find that you lost out to someone with more desirable outside space.

My ideal would be giving 2-3 years of love and joy to a dog that may otherwise see its last days out in a shelter. Then having a year or two off, then doing it again.

But I accept this may just be a consequence of nerves at committing long term to dog ownership.

I also suggested to dh we do doggy Foster for a year or two, assuming at some point they foster to families with children to see how the dog copes.

Ah you’re fine then, makes no odds whether you decide on a puppy or an older rescue in that respect then.

Obviously it’s nicer to have a garden if you’ve a dog, but it’s not a necessity if you’ve somewhere they can go to the toilet.

I agree that if you’re getting an adult rescue breed doesn’t matter as much because you’re looking at an actual individual dog rather than potential traits and if you’re thinking elderly even less as even very active breeds slow down in the last few years.

Ooh if you’re thinking of fostering to see if you’re definitely set for owning a dog - the dog’s trust have a project called the freedom project that fosters dogs for women leaving domestic abuse,.

Oh what a good suggestion thanks!

Another 'halfway house' option would be to join 'Borrow my Doggy' as a borrower (you can check before committing to the fee whether there are any doggies in your area to be 'borrowed') - this might give you the chance to see how you get on with a couple of different breeds.

Definitely try fostering, or give a home to an older dog first. Then you can get a puppy in the future. I have a seven month old puppy (admittedly the trainer says she's one of the most full on and difficult puppies she's ever met 🤣) but seriously it's been a very hard time, and I could never go through puppyhood again. Believe me, we prepared as much as we thought possible for over two years. It's been a nightmare BUT she is gorgeous and I know that with all the work we are putting in she will be a wonderful dog one day. However....I wish I had fostered or 'borrowed' a dog first. That would be a great compromise between you both.

I’ve always had rescues, and recently older dogs and while they have had their issues I would never want a puppy. We are currently on our third foster of the year - it is lovely to have them and to help prepare them for their next home (ours is for a rescue rather than the refuge arrangement suggested above) but I have found that you get disproportionately more of the ‘this dog is new to us, I don’t know if it’s happy, what does it want?’ part that is usual with a new dog to the family, but less of the time when they’re settled and have fitted in, because they’ve been adopted by then. It’s not a bad thing as you can see them develop and can pass on some useful intel to their new families, but it’s not a true reflection of having your own dog.

I would go for an older dog every time. We only had our last oldie for 9 months but he enjoyed every second of sunbathing in the garden, exploring new walks and meeting new friends.

A couple of years ago we fostered a 9 year old American bulldog who’d had a bad life previously. Within a week we knew he wasn’t going back. We’re childless so this was beyond doubt the most rewarding thing we’ve done. Helped that the boy was an absolute angel (placid, clean, friendly, non-barking) but watching him transform from a timid, unsure dog to a happy, confident one was amazing. We sadly lost him 2 weeks ago today but are already looking at other dogs who need help as a testament to how brilliant he was. I’d thoroughly recommend getting in touch with some rescue places to enquire about fostering. Good luck.

Dog ownership is totally worth it (to me!) I have lots of dogs and our life is structured around them (house, garden, holidays etc)
They are the best thing in my life!! I’m like you in that I love to adopt an oldie A couple of years back we adopted a 10 year old lab that had cancer (except it turned out she didn’t, the vet was wrong!!) She had had a really shitty life though and she spent her last 18 months with us being spoiled rotten which was exactly what she deserved. We also adopted a big 10 year old who had been shot in the leg and he managed 2.5 years of love & luxury with us until we had to say goodbye. I miss them both terribly but take comfort in how happy they were. IME older rescues are way easier then puppies, but if you have a lot of steps in your property maybe go for a smaller one that you can pick up if/when their back legs go abit wobbly…..

Having a dog is great but don’t underestimate the cost, the time and the commitment needed. Mine costs me around £300 a month for insurance, grooming, food, treats and various medication. Time wise it’s probably at least a couple of hours a day dedicated to walks and toilet breaks (no garden) in all weathers. I can’t just meet up with friends for hours as I don’t like leaving him for too long. All that aside though I absolutely adore him and he’s worth every penny and every minute of time spent caring for him.

After our working cocker spaniel bitch passed on in 2019 I found I was rather enjoying dog free life. Cleaner house. No worries about what to do with the dog when we planned any trips etc (obv she normally came on holiday with us but it's not always possible to take a dog).
Roll on 2021 and daughter's work colleague had working cocker spaniel puppies looking for homes....I was beaten down by the combined forces of husband and daughter.
I know it sounds silly but I really didn't appreciate how different a male dog would be to the female. He's lovely but very high energy, excitable and hard work. And in the dog free time we had a fabulous holiday cottage in Cornwall right on the water edge up a creek with its own quay. I could head off up the river in my kayak each evening at high tide. They don't take dogs and even if they did I couldn't take him as he'd disappear into the river or the knee high mud at low tide any chance he got. Our lovely old girl loved her swimming but took about three years to be confident and enjoy rivers and the sea. Not so our young boy, his first holiday and sight of the sea he was off. He struck out into the Fal river and I briefly thought he wasn't coming back but thankfully he does have pretty good recall. But no way could we stay anywhere that doesn't have a totally dog proof garden. We had also enjoyed a lovely cottage on an estate in Scotland, deer wandering through the garden which was completely unfenced. We couldn't have taken either dog there, it would be a nightmare.
Then there is a problem every time we need to go out for a day, I have a dog walker but arrangements have to be made. Visiting my elderly aunt yesterday, 2 hours drive each way, hot weather, of course he had to stay at home and DD was home and happy to stay with him so that was OK but it meant she can't come too and of course she's not always home, and with elderly relatives those sorts of days come around quite often.
Oh and he's a garden wrecker.....
So much as I love our boisterous boy, dog free life was much simpler!