I honestly don’t know how I will live without my dog

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We have had our beloved Norfolk Terrier, Archie in our lives since he was 6 months old. We rescued him for a hell pit and he has been with us ever since.
Archie turned 10 in April.
I wanted a dog back then as I was a lonely, depressed SAHM.
He has been such a lovely, little companion, my best friend. He is so well behaved and has been by my side every day since. He has seen us all go through a lot of crap over these 10 years, he has been my constant throughout.
In early 2020, I found a lump on his back. Tests came back as a Mast Cell Tumour. Poor Archie had a big op to remove the lump and a huge margin was taken, he was so brave but thankfully, he recovered well.
However, a year later we found another lump but this time in his abdomen. This time it was much more serious. His spleen was full of a cancer called a Spindle Cell Neoplasm. The vet said it was a Histiocytic Sarcoma and the prognosis was very grave. They removed the spleen and said he had weeks, maybe months.
I didn’t think I would stop crying after that meeting with the vet.
However, 14 months later he is still here. He had seemed to have defied the odds.
But yesterday we have found a large hard lump in his abdomen again (wasn’t there a few days ago, we check him all the time).
The vet says it’s probably in his liver. We’ve booked him in for a scan and biopsy on Monday.
I am beside myself. I know he was living on borrowed time but I honestly thought he may have been one of these miracle cases. He seems so well, he eats, drinks, loves his walks, hasn’t lost weight etc.
I am trying to prepare myself for bad news but I honestly do not know how I am going to live without him. He is with me all the time, he sleeps on our bed, comes on holiday with us etc. He is a complete member of the family. He has never let me down, he has been the light in my life.
How the he’ll do you cope once your furry best mate has gone?

Poor Archie i really hope you have some good news that it's not as bad as feared as sounds like you both had a tough couple years.

I've always had multiple dogs which helps ease the shock as still have doggy company and keep normal routine. It doesn't remove the awful void of your lost dog and grief, just makes it a little more tolerable I think.

Unfortunately I lost the younger dog unexpectedly so now live in dread with my oldie, I'd like to get another as companion to us both but it's proving tricky finding the right match in rescue for both our requirements, which is a shame as they are chock full, but mainly youngsters.

Sorry to hear about your lovely Archie, I hope the scan goes well for you.

Sadly dogs make such an impact on our lives but the reality of dog ownership is making sure the dog is happy over our own feelings sometimes. It is obvious from the post that he has had a brilliant life with you, for that alone you should be incredibly proud. Some dogs don’t get that life so as a dog owner this should make you very happy. Over my lifetime I have lost a number of dogs, mainly through old age and one from cancer. I think of them all fondly and hope I have them all to greet me one day wherever we may end up.

You will know when the time comes to make that decision, I can’t lie and say it’s easy but you will always know you did the right thing.

Very sorry to hear Archie’s tale. It is so hard when they are ill, they rarely show just how bad they feel, they are so loyal and stoic.
Losing Archie would be losing a dear family member, and if you don’t get your miracle, please allow yourself to grieve fully. You will get through it, but it will hurt immensely, just as seeing him ill hurts. You need a lot of time and space to cry your eyes out, let your heart break and eventually you get to a place with mostly happy memories of your beautiful friend. 💐

I lost my old boy in 2020 and it was awful. He had been with me for 15 years, pre dated the kids and had been through so much with me. I thought I'd never get out of bed again. But I did. I cried for days but then decided to go shopping for a tree to plant for his ashes. Doing something positive in his name helped. I also signed up to do a charity walk for the dogs trust - we adopted him from them.

Now, almost 2 years on, we have another rescue. I wouldn't ever have thought it possible to love another dog but I do. So much.

Archie has had the best life with you and one day you'll look back and smile, I promise. Go easy on yourself.