Regret

[Rockbottom42]

This won't be a popular opinion but I regret getting my animals, I'm in tears daily, it's not the puppy/kitten blues because they are 6 and 8.
I really struggle to afford them and they make my anxiety worse especially the dog. I dread to think this is my life for the next 10 years I've already done 6 and 8 😭
Wonder if anyone else feels the same?

That’s a shame. They are supposed to enrich your life and be good for your health, so if that’s not working, maybe you should look at rehoming them?

Are there others in your household who would object to rehoming? If not then look at local charities . I suggest you rehome them one at a time- by the sound of it dog first, and then see how you feel.
good luck.

Can't rehome the dog he doesn't like people so no chance I can risk it and no charity would have him.

He's too strong for me
I have back problems and arthritis
I'm stuck in the house with him day in day out for the last 8 years apart from his walk which is agony
Don't get me wrong I love him and he loves me but I regret him, I can't believe I was stupid enough to get a strong dog although I didn't have mobility problems then.
I can't see family and family can't come over.
I can't believe I have another 6/10 years of being stuck in my house.

Have you had any help with the issues you are having?

Well, if you’ve got a big strong dog he’s not likely to live till he’s 18 - most larger breeds live much shorter lives than that.

Rehoming sounds like it would be the right thing for the dog, if you have mobility and arthritis, and walks are difficult for you. Is he actually dangerous? Or just antisocial but manageable in the right environment? If he’s truly not suitable for rehoming, to the right place (rural, one owner etc)because he’s dangerous then there is an argument that a shorter life for him is not the awful crime you imagine.

There is no shame in having him PTS if he wouldn’t cope in another home. Pets aren’t meant to make your life a misery.
Just don’t replace them if you do move them on.

Lots of dogs dislike strangers but that doesn't mean they can't get to know a new person and be happy in a new home - it just takes time.

If you're not enjoying them then speak to a charity about getting them re-homed or even fostered for a while so you can have a break.

It might even be worth approaching a dog walker or animal charity to get some help with the walking and the pulling.

@Rockbottom42
There are sanctuaries that will take pets that are otherwise going to be PTS. I know someone who takes them in, often because the vet calls to say they have been taken there to be destroyed because the owner is unable to cope.
Maybe have a look for somewhere like that, or ask vets, not just yours but others in the area if they know of such a place.
The place I know works with the animal to overcome problems and they stay there for life. Do try before you let the dog be PTS.

I am sorry there is a lot of shame having a pet pts without exhausting all other options.

Op have you soaked to a breed specific rescue. I work with one and we have animals all the time from similar situations. We have people who will foster, are knowledgeable about dog behaviour and the breed. They go on to have fulfilling and happy lives. Even when they didn’t like people before, they settle with a new family.

I am sorry there is a lot of shame having a pet pts without exhausting all other options.

The sad reality is that most dogs that are human-reactive end up being passed from home-to-home, only to end up being PTS anyway when they inevitably bite someone else.

Dogs have no concept of mortality and in many cases I would argue that having them PTS with their human next to them is a lot kinder than putting them through the rescue/rehome process only for them to end up being PTS alone.

Not if they are rehomed properly. Dogs that are passed around in the vast majority of cases are passed around because they haven’t been rehomed properly. It’s through Facebook or friends of a friend.

Rehoming a dog, in Ops situation, shouldn’t be shameful.

Jumping straight to having the dog pts, imo, would be.

Sadly from my experience of working with dogs, most rescue dogs are not homed appropriately and end up with inexperienced owners or put in situations where are uncomfortable and end up biting.

There are worse fates for an aggressive dog than being PTS in their owners arms.

This above.

If you don't want the dog just go get a charity to assess him - a behaviorist will know quickly. If they don't want or cant rehome then PTS is kindest. I think a lot of dogs need to be PTS but get passed on and on and get stressed and eventually PTS.

He doesn't like being touched by strangers and outside he's fine as long as people don't touch him. He loves other dogs though.

He wouldn't survive in another home. He doesn't eat if I'm not at home even with my daughter at home. I went out on a rare night out and he was actually ill, he's definitely a velcro dog he has been with me since he was 8 weeks old he is now 8 years old.
Too be honest the feeling is mutual I adore him, I really do.
The vets suggested putting him to sleep but I can't. I love him, I just really regret him I think he would of been better having a male owner.

The thought of him being passed around turns my stomach. I do not want that for him.

I was quoted nearly £400 I can't afford that. Money is really tight I mean living day to day tight. Sometimes I don't eat but my animals are always fed.

His mum was a nervous dog and at the time I wasn't clued up on how that could be passed down to the pup.
I think I'm the perfect example of idiots getting dogs. Can't believe how stupid I am.

My god this thread is awful just realised when writing it down what a horrible person I am.

You’re not a horrible person. I appreciate your honesty.

My children want a dog but I suspect I would not be able to cope and that I would regret it; even so, sometimes I’m tempted for their sakes, and because I’m somewhat conditioned to put other people’s wishes before mine.

Threads like this help me to stay firm about what I know deep down are my limits. I’m sure they help others too and by extension, they spare potential harm to other dogs.

I’m sorry for what you’re going through

You are not a horrible person, but if your vet is suggesting that the dog is put to sleep then you should consider it - it's not much of a life for he either being that stressed and anxious all the time x

Thank you.

I second that, Please don't do it if you aren't a 100% sure.

I know you are right it must be awful for him being that stressed, I feel guilt every day.

Absolutely this, and please do NOT feel guilty

Rockbottom42
Just wanted to respond as you sound rock bottom. I am sure you have thought of all these things so forgive me if I have overlooked something.

You mentioned your daughter, not sure how old she is but if adult could she not walk the dog?

Have you tried Borrow my Doggy? They have people who love dogs but are not in a position to have their own walk somebody else’s. I did it for a year before I got my own dog. It is free. With your medical issues it must be hard. I too had been having aches and pains which were diagnosed as arthritis in my spine, hands and feet but only AFTER I got my dog and whereas I thought the exercise would help it has actually caused my condition to deteriorate quicker but I do have good and bad days.

Our dog is a very nervous rescue and whoever else walked him would find him a problem as he has no recall & is very reactive to loud noises and large dogs that bound over to him but as I know he feels more safe with me I think there’s less chance of something going wrong as opposed to being with anyone else.
People coming up to you is their fault not yours. I never approach a dog on a lead and I would hope others wouldn’t approach mine but there are a lot of silly people about.

Having a dog should be a pleasure not an endurance trial but if it feels that way rehome him. Rehoming centres are full of dogs that could not be managed in the home they were in. Having said that I think with a few tweaks it will be OK. Not having people round is very isolating. Invite somebody over and put the dog in another room or garden. He may not like it but will do YOU the world of good. You obviously love him and he you.

I've tried he fights it and gets out of it I don't want to get bit if I force him to do something he doesn't want to.