I think i may have to give up on my dog has anyone given up a dog

[Allthesocksintheworld]

We have a nearly 2 year old dog. He is some sort of terrier mixed with other things dog small to medium sized. We got him when he was 16 weeks ish from someone who didnt want him and hadnt looked after him - he was ill when we got him. He had to spend time at the vets and was quite unwell but by the time he was around 6 months old he was physically healthy.

He is an amazing lovable dog as long as he in in the house with his family. If anyone so much as comes near him, he growls and barks and gets very anxious/ aggressive.

Since he was 6 months old we have been to various training sessions , we have had a dog behaviourist come to the house to work with him. He is muzzled while out, we have added an extra gate to the front door and we have a post box outside the front gate for post etc.

Today the post man came while he happened to be sunbathing in the garden not a problem normally as the post box is outside the gate and the gate is locked. Somehow im not sire how the latch on the gate totally failed and he got out and bit the postman. The whole thing lasted less than a minute the postman kicked him back in the gate and ran off before i could even get from the back door to the gate so i have no idea how serious the bite was or if it broke the skin. I just dont know.

ive been sitting here just crying and shaking for the past few hours im imagining the police turning up and arresting me im totally at a loss what to do.

i think i feel in my heart like i cant cope with this anymore i have tried so hard for the last 2 years with him, ive spent a fortune on trainers behaviourists and various other things and i have still failed.

my kids will be heartbroken but at the end of the day i am responsible for him biting people and i just cant seem to stop it just one stupid event like a lock not latching has meant someone has been hurt.

has anyone been in this situation and what do i do next?

I'm in almost the same situation. My dog is a sweetie and loves me so much. But she doesn't like children and goes for my grandchildren, snapping at their feet and growling. I'm not sure what to do either. If I was in your shoes, I think I'd have to give up. Either re-home to a home where they can deal with it, or sadly, pts.

It’s very hard being a responsible dog owner, people think that they will be great and have no problems with a dog. We have a dog that goes absolutely bonkers mad at the postman or anyone that walks past our house, but whilst out he’s perfectly behaved and likes to meet anyone. We have a gate that is always closed when going to the door, my 2 adult sons also know that the gate stays locked. My dog isn’t perfect but he does love us and we love him although he does have problems, he would be the same with another owner, so we’re in it for the long haul.

I have recently given my two year old spaniel cross up for adoption. He has settled in with the adopters beautifully. It was an awfully hard decision to make at the hardest time of my life but it was right for me and right for him.

First off you won’t be arrested . If the postie reports it the police will come out and talk to you but they won’t actually throw you in the back of a van! You may or may not be prosecuted . Royal Mail will also probably have a word/ letter sent. Also nothing might come of it. If it was your regular postie look out for them and apologise profusely . Then up your security . No need to get carried away😁

Bloody - i am sorry to hear you had to give up your dog.

i love having dogs i cant imagine not having a dog i know if i do give him up i could never bring myself to own another dog.

i am just terrified that he may have really hurt someone today and that nothing i have done for the last 2 years has really changed anything. Hes sitting upside down on my lap now not a care in the world. I think he was slightly concerned by all my tears but he seems to have given up on licking my face now!

i am wondering if i should call up the post office monday and apologize and maybe say we will collect mail from them from now on. Would that be a silly thing to do? I have been googling and i keep seeing people being prosecuted for dog bites i literally cant stop panicking about this.

I should probably add he is really great in the house i have an autistic teen and the dog will go and literally sit with her to calm her he just really hates anyone he doesnt know.

The only problem may be who will take him in if hes already bitten, not sure if places like dogs trust would?.

No but lots of breed specific and smaller rescue places will and will have fosterers/adopters who can offer a suitable home.

I volunteer for a breed rescue organisation. We would not take a dog that has bitten in these circumstances. Rehoming it would be far too risky. If it went on to bite again we wouldn't have a legal leg to stand on. You may need to consider PTS.

How do you know he bit him?

i wouldn’t risk a latch on a gate you need a bolt. But you aren’t a bad person because you rehome a dog, I’d second a breed specific rescue

"just one stupid event like a lock not latching"

In 12 years of dog ownership I've never once had a lock mysteriously 'not latch'. That's because I always check that the gate is closed and - as an extra measure - it also has a bolt on it. That means the dog is safe, both from escaping and being stolen.
So in response to your question 'what should I do next?' you should of course go and buy a bolt and properly secure your garden and make sure your dog absolutely cannot escape again.
I have a feeling you've already given up on him though, and you're just looking to be told that's OK.

hi, I think that you should put them on a lead in the garden so they can't reach anyone. I live in a flat and this is what I do in front of the French window in the communal garden.

You keep your dog well away from your grandchildren. Shut in another room if needed. Tey are your grandchildren and come first.

I think that lots of dogs are reactive to postmen. I used to have a king Charles Spaniel and he was as soft as butter but he went for the postman's legs when he came onto our front wearing his high viz. You just have to make sure you put a sign on the gate and have one of those post boxes where the postie won't have to come onto your land. As PP said, apologise if you see him. But he might not have bitten him at all?

My reply above was to you.

You are in a worse position... the dog is a danger to your grandchildren!

Implementing - i know its my fault and thats what i mean i should have checked the gate - its a lock like a front door lock so its supposed to lock when it shuts then you have to use a key to reopen it. But for whatever reason it was shut but the lock hadnt engaged .

i dont know what to say - i should have checked it i didnt. I know i was in the wrong.

i wouldnt say ive given up on him. I literally sitting surrounded by boxes because we are moving. The behaviourist told us that living on a main road was giving him too much stimulation so we are moving to a house further out of town and with a bigger garden.

i think today has just made me realise that i can do all of this i can check the gate 100 times not check it once and everything else was pointless

I agree with PP, there are practical things you can do to make sure this doesn't happen again. Muzzle when out for walks, increasing security in the garden by additional locks/ fences or having the dog on a long line attached to a harness when it's out in the garden.
I'd hope you could find a rescue that would take it. However, If you're a real dog lover and would never get a dog again if you had to give this one up, that suggests to me you want to make it work with your pup?
My parents have a reactive rescue dog and it was really challenging for them to adapt to. I would say he's become a lot easier in old age (maybe since 8/9), he was worst when he was younger, around your dogs age. That may be purely individual though. They tried a lot of behaviourists etc but eventually more ended up changing how they did things/accepting they couldn't treat him like a normal dog by walking in busy places etc.

If you had two security things, eg locking gate and dog on a long line, then dog wouldn't have got out even if lock failed like it did.

It would be polite and responsible to call the sorting office on Monday and ask how the postman is. Far better that than just ignore it.

I don't mean you're ignoring the whole thing btw! I meant specific to the postman's welfare.

Big DS had friend round who left our gate off latch.

I kept hovering & checking but had distractions & the friend was taking so long to leave...
Latch off (actually 2 latches, one on each side of gate, both not quite done up) caused toddler DS to escape into road & strangers brought him back 90 seconds after friend left.
These things happen.

I think you need to talk to postie to find out what happened, let them say their piece. They probably just want a safe work environment & to know it can't happen again. I'd be offering wine/whiskey/beer as obviously inadequate apology but still to say very sorry. Postie probably wants no part in deciding what happens next to your dog.

One day at a time about the dog's fate.

i think i am calming down a little now - i really picked a bad time to wean off anti anxiety meds!

but you are right i have no idea what happened or if he actually bit him i do have a front door cam which i have watched repeatedly buy you cant tell what happened.

we actually do normally have two gates - our garden is a sort of L shape. The side garden normally has a gate which separates it from the front. Thats basically the dogs garden. And the theres a front area where we have our bbq and chairs etc the front gate comes off that.

last week the landlord finally decided to fix the roof from those storms months ago so scaffolding has gone up all around the house so the side gate is pinned open. So there was only one gate between him and the postman. Again i know its still totally my fault i think thats partly why im so angry at myself - i just dont think other people would have let this happen and that scares me a little that il not up to this anymore. That might be the lack of fluoxitene speaking but maybe not.

when we do take him out he has a basket muzzle a collar a harness and a double lead he basically looks like a small hannibal lector so hes never actually bitten anyway before now but he does bark and growl while out.

Have you spoken to your vet about medication? I've got a very reactive sprocker, and we have to give her calming tablets daily otherwise she's literally shivering with nerves.

She came from a kind family home, came to us at 8 weeks and has never had any reason to be fearful of anything ever. But she is, and no amount of training/behaviour management will change that. I think we've now accepted her for what she is, and live around it as best we can for her.

We managed such a ddog for 11 years. Draining.
The guilt when she got cancer, then a brain tumour was massive. She didn't have a great life.
Maybe a fresh start in your new home may see positive effects.