When do the puppy blues lift?

[pupblue]

I have an 11 week old golden retriever. First dog since I was a child.

She's gorgeous but at the moment I'd happily go back in time and not get her because I'm miserable.

It's the biting. No matter what I try. I just don't want to be near her at the moment (yet at the same time I do).

Toileting too. It's making me so anxious I think I'm overstimulating her.

Where is the light at the end of the tunnel?

I got a puppy last year and was exactly the same - i felt it would never get easier, but it really does settle down - i would say by 16 weeks toilet training and the biting were much much better and she was reliably sleeping overnight and i started feeling much better.

Now 9 months old, she is amazing and causes no bother at all

Try to enjoy her cuteness and remember the bad bits will pass, training to settle and quiet helped me at a young ago too.

biting can be a sign of being over tired?
can you put her somewhere safe away from you to sleep when she’s getting like that?
lots of chews like split antlers, coffee sticks, yak chews to distract

it gets better!

The worst of it, the “I’ve made a massive mistake and should send them back” stage probably went after about 3 weeks. I also found it helped to know that it was quite a common feeling.
I have 2 golden retrievers (3 and 6) and they are the best dogs, but they can be pains as puppies. I saw them described as land sharks as puppies, and that felt quite true. But the good news is, they do come through it. And, if you put the time and effort into training them, you couldn’t ask for better dogs. I think puppies have to be that cute to make you forget what demons they are!

I'm 13 weeks in, and I feel your pain @pupblue I would say I felt a shift the last two weeks. Toilet training has gotten better. But it's a bit like one step forward and two back. We are developing a barking stage now.
Just remember, it won't last! They are growing so fast. I can't wait to get out of puberty and settle to a good, solid routine.

It’s better when they can go out. My puppy blues lasted a month, and proper regret.

she’s adorable now, asleep on the floor as I type. 2 years old.

they bite more when tired. You can try and teach settle or enforce a nap. Wha5 worked with ours was stepping out the room when she was really bitey, 2 second break reset her.

also a bit of basic training tires them.

we’d also give her treats in a box filled with newspaper so she had to find them, or a kong, or something safe to chew like a yakker. But they need way more sleep than they think they do.

Thanks everyone. It does help to know I'm not the only one (as I put plasters on the bloody teethmarks on my wrists)!

And toilet training just clicks for them at 5 to 6 month. Don’t make a fuss at any mistakes.

Can I suggest you get the book, Perfect Puppy by Gwen Bailey. I used it for my Labrador cross, and got it for my daughter when she got her golden retriever puppy 18 months ago. It’s very very good.

Re the biting, this is normal for puppies and is usually referred to as mouthing. I’m assuming you don’t mean biting as in aggressive/fearful behaviour . Puppies mouth their litter mates, but because puppies have thicker skin than humans, it doesn’t hurt them. The mother dog will often issues a short sharp “snap/growl” if the puppy is too exuberant. I think the normal response is to always have a toy or chew to offer up instead. Teething always makes them worse.

I have noticed with my daughters GR that her husband plays much rougher with the dog and it’s much more mouthy with him than her or me.

Gwen Bailey actually gives you a timetable for toilet training the puppy. Please give her book a try.

Please don’t forget puppies are like toddlers, every thing is just a phase, it will be over sooner or later

Best of luck.

i always found there were leaps of improvement (with their own new challenges) at 3,6,9,12,18,24 months ...then they're nice.

It gets easier, and whilst I know I have suffered from “puppy blues” I absolutely don’t remember them, just how much I love my dog and how it was all worth it and I’d do it again in a heartbeat.
It gets better. X

It does pass, I promise. Our GSD pup was a little raptor up until around 4 months old, you literally couldn't walk through a room sometimes without being mouthed. Ankles, feet, clothes, basically anything. My two teens actively started to avoid the little blighter until he started to grow out of it. He is now a very lovely 6 months old with no mouthing at all. As PP have said, tiredness could be the issue. Ours is crate trained so we would put him in for a nap (sometimes he would put himself in there) and he would be much calmer afterwards.

For golden retrievers I’d also add 36 months! Mine were good from about 18 or 24 months but still had a lot of energy, from 30-36 months they really mellowed out and became super gentle and calm.

Another vote for enforcing a nap. My Labrador puppy, now six months, only did this when he was over-tired.

If I put her for a nap she poops !

I do t lock her in the crate but leave her with free run of the kitchen and she always goes on the kitchen floor. She's just done it now. Still, will keep on with this as she might learn that's what happens when she mouths.

My pup - a Bordoodle (Border Collie X Poodle) - will be 12 weeks tomorrow, and I could have written your OP! I created a thread a week or two ago about the biting in particular, and honestly - I did regret him at that moment in time, as I gained yet another scratch/tooth mark/bruise/something drawing blood!, from him.

When he bites/mouths now, we say "too bad" and leave the room for a few seconds - he barks or whines when we go, but when he stops we return. He's learnt quickly - over a couple of days - that biting/mouthing (skin or clothes) results in the loss of the attention, and it seems to have really reduced it. I haven't had a new 'injury' in 3 days now, it's amazing!

We're in a similar situation with toileting - he knows he gets a treat for going outside, we take him regularly, but sometimes it seems he just thinks, 'sod it, I'll wee right here'. We seemed sorted with poo-ing, but over the past week or so he's decided a particular spot in the conservatory is his preferred place for that. We'll continue plugging away at it and he'll get there.

My boy will happily sleep in his crate overnight (albeit with me still sleeping on the sofa - he needs taking out at least once during the night still), but he just will not sleep in there during the day. I'm hoping to work on this over the next couple of weeks so that he can eventually be left for a short time - someone is always about, but it's been really tricky trying to balance things to make it work at times!

I guess this was a long way of saying - like you, I had serious puppy blues, even cried the one night because I had no idea how to deal with what seemed to be incessant biting, but it's starting to improve now and I'm mostly enjoying him again. I'm hopeful that by 16 weeks he'll be much better with the toileting and things will really pick up. I hope it will for you too! :-)

Are you leaving her alone for naps?

If so, the pooping could be a bit of anxiety about being left alone where she can't see you.

Puppy blues hit me like a ton of bricks, wasn’t expecting it at all! The worst passed within about 3 weeks with the odd moments for another few weeks after that.

Biting can definitely be overtired, I really had to enforce naps when he was tiny as he would fight sleep like a toddler. I would put him in crate and lie on the floor next to him and 99% of the time he’d fall asleep. If I went further away than about a metre he’d get upset. The house was a tip for quite a while as he was my shadow (still is to be fair but it’s much easier to get stuff done now).

Toilet training you just have to keep going, one day it just clicks!

He’s now 6 months and I love him more than I thought possible. It’s still hard work and there’s new challenges but also so much more fun

I do leave her alone at night and for naps she tends to sleep where she drops! However if she is being bitey and I pop her in the kitchen she does sometimes poop am I do think it is anxiety as she wants to be with me so I have made sure she can see me through the stair gate which has helped.
I'm still feeling anxious all the time though, like an impending sense of doom. I hope it stops!!

It will get better! For us it improved around 15-16 weeks, and then a couple of months later we hit the teenage stage 😂

@Autumn101 you say puppy blues hit youike a tonne of bricks then the odd day for a few weeks after that, i could be the one writing this, my pup has been with me for 5 weeks now and im still struggling, i get constant knot feeling in my stomach every morning needing to open my bowels (sorry too much info).. she sleeps through the night so im not sleep deprived but its the worry n fear that ive got this little pup to look after and never anticipated how much care, training and looking after she needs..my house is a mess with toys and although she doesnt mind her crate she will not nap and can easily climb on the couch to snooze but the minute i move shes up...should i just keep going with it n put her in n shut the door but my question is how long for?..im just hoping that my feeling of anxiousness goes and i get to love her more like shes part of the family... will i ever get back to some normality and lie in ever again.xx

I have a 9 month GR. They are absolutely the WORST puppies. My awful wailing sobbing stopped after about 3 weeks, then it was just normal crying for a couple of weeks, at some stage after that acceptance and shortly after that I was enjoying every single day with her!
Stick with it - there are times when we are out and she does something mortifying and I'm still not quite at forgetting the puppy stage but I wouldn't change her for the world.
Routine, lots of ignoring poor behaviour and a fair whack of faking it til you make it. It WILL pass.

Fully agree with the leaps in behaviour stages. Our lab has just turned two and the puppy blues lasted on and off for bloody ages (well past him being one year old) - though on reflection, probably mixed in with my own adjustment (resentment at times) to having a dog and the impact that had on so many decisions. Probably since the summer just gone he's settled into a lovely rhythm and his gentle nature shines through and most importantly, I've relaxed and stressed less, he's just so lovely to have around and be around, I now can't imagine our home without him. He has almost overnight leaps in his behaviour now - and all, touch wood, so far in the right direction: he very suddenly became better on lead, ignoring other dogs more (never aggressive, always curious and playful) just better all round in the basics. We were told time and again with a lab to expect the 2 year+ age to show the true nature and temperament of him.

I was always a cat person, my husband DESPERATELY wanted a dog all his life but we lived in a flat - now he's WFH and we moved to a house and could financially commit, we got the pup but I really did not realise how big a commitment it was - emotionally, time, money - the lot. The biting will pass - I sort of recall it being frustrating and painful but looking back now those memories definitely went very quickly and was definitely just a stage - my husband took the brunt of it and reinforced bite inhibition and he's the gentlest dog now, doesn't even really mouth let alone nip or bite. Our lab would definitely be worse when he was tired - I didn't appreciate how much sleep (enforced naps if necessary - we crate trained, thank God) pups needed. Even now after a big off lead run he very occasionally won't know his own limits and gets a bit silly so we trained "nap time" command from day one and off he trots to bed and comes back an hour or so later the lovely, gentle dozing lab who just wants to lie on or at the feet of his humans ❤️.

My boy is 7mo and just a week ago I was still thinking I need to rehome him 😭 he's still very bitey but now it's when he's tired so he goes in his crate. He absolutely cannot get himself to sleep unless he's forced to. I don't understand why he bites when he's tired though. I put a chew in his mouth and he moves his head away from it to get hands. Wish I knew why sigh

I'm new to this forum. My GR is 10 weeks. We've been very lucky as es slept through just about from day 1. My big issue is crate training as I mind my grandson 2 days a week. The pup happily sleeps in it at night but day time is another matter. He won't settle. I've tried the few second retreat and lengthening but he won't have it. Any tips?

@deebee83 how long are you expecting him to be in there for? can you not just out a room divider up / baby gate to keep them seperate ?