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Original poster

Dog preferring me to partner

21 replies

D0lphine · 09/05/2022 17:14

Hi all,

We got a new puppy about 6 months ago. I've been doing the majority of the dog walking.

On her walks I train her and give her treats when she comes back or sits or walks to heel or whatever. She is doing pretty well.

When me and my partner have taken her out together recently, she has been coming back to me but not my partner and he has been getting annoyed.

She has also been following me around the house and whining when I am behind closed doors etc.

My view is that if my OH wants a closer bond
with her then he can take her out and train her.

His view is that I give her too many treats and the only reason she likes me is because I give her treats on walks.

Note she is a normal weight (vets last week checked) and so giving treats for training shouldn't be an issue.

What's your view?

OP posts:
658Doyouknowwheremysparkis · 09/05/2022 17:51

Your OH needs to step up and stop making excuses about why she prefers you. It’s really simple the more work you put in the more the dog responds and wants to be with you.

My two respond to me because I do everything for them ( DH has a progressive illness and can no longer walk) it’s noticeable that they are no longer as obedient with him as they used to be, but will snuggle with him on his daybed and or hide behind him when it’s bath time or the ear cleaner drawer is opened. They respond to commands from me instantly ( spaniel slow to get down if ear cleaner is evident and he is snuggled with DH) …..

Dogs bond with their primary carer …. he’s
not her primary carer so what does he expect? Don’t
listen to his lame blaming and just indicate where the lead is kept!

Original poster
D0lphine · 09/05/2022 18:21

Thanks for your response!

I feel like maybe I should have put this on the relationship board - lol!

An example of what happens - we were on a walk and I walked off for a wee in a bush. She was off lead as we were out in the wilds. Because I was wandering off to hide in a bush, she wanted to see where I was and keep close to me.

This is precisely what I've been training her to do. Keep checking in on me and keeping close by.

He got annoyed because she wouldn't stay with him because he hasn't practiced sit, stay etc. with her.

He also thinks it's a bad thing when she follows me around the house. I don't see a problem with it, except when I'm on a call etc.

Our walks are super fun! we have training, treats, balls and toys, fields to run in. It's fun and she loves it (as do I) It's not a wonder she likes me more because we have an hour or more quality time together each day. But he thinks it's just because I give her treats.......

Then he said I was taking it personally and being too sensitive. Well damn right I'm being sensitive when I've spent ages training her and walking her and then he criticises me!

OP posts:
butternutbiscuits · 09/05/2022 20:19

Get rid of your dh and enjoy your dpup

Usernameisgone · 09/05/2022 20:22

Of course she will prefer you, you have fun walks training and treats.....

coffeecupsandfairylights · 09/05/2022 22:26

Dogs aren't stupid - they go to the people who spend time with them and make an effort with them.

Readytopop2022x · 09/05/2022 22:36

Dogs only really chose one master. And since you are doing the training and majority of the walks; that's why. DP needs to accept it I'm afraid xx

658Doyouknowwheremysparkis · 10/05/2022 08:26

Dogs follow their owners around the house, it’s very normal, they want to be with you always… I would have a canine entourage in the lavatory if I didn’t shut the door ( always have a welcoming committee, no matter how brief my visit).

I hope it’s not out of order me saying this but judging by how OH is about your girl I’d be rather cautious about children …. The not putting in the work, criticising etc… hmmm then it’s YOU who is sensitive…. I’m not comfortable with what you have described and I’m an anonymous woman on the internet… so goodness knows how frustrating it is to live with those behaviours.

Im so glad you are enjoying puppy/ teenage dog ownership but your OH’s behaviour is a cause for concern imo for what it’s worth…. It sound like you have built a strong bond with your girl and have had great fun into the bargain…. Just watch him….

Original poster
D0lphine · 10/05/2022 09:01

Thanks for your input.

I'm pretty cross with him about it. It's pretty simple really. The dog likes me more because I spend more time with her and put bin more effort. Not because I give her treats. That's a bit of a simplistic way of looking at things.

Next time he says anything I think I'm going to say "the dog likes me more because I spend more time with her. If you spent more time on walks with her then she would like you more."

It's really not that complicated actually is it?

OP posts:
jytdtysrht · 10/05/2022 09:09

Does he know how to do the training?

Original poster
D0lphine · 10/05/2022 09:11

jytdtysrht · 10/05/2022 09:09

Does he know how to do the training?

Yes he does. He has had dogs before and also he has seen me do it many times. Lots and lots online about training which I've watched. And tried out.

OP posts:
averythinline · 10/05/2022 09:30

Effort =love for dogs in my experience...my teenager moans the dog doesn't do what he says as much etc ....but then all he does is watch Minecraft videos with him!

Our dog was bonded with me first and I did most of the care when we got him but is now more bonded with dh as he does most of the walks/training.....your DP sounds like a teenager!

pigsDOfly · 10/05/2022 12:53

Clearly he wants all the benefits of having a dog without putting in the effort.

You've put in the effort and you've got a loyal bonded companion in your dog.

It's no good him getting cross. What does he want you to do about it? He's the only one who can change how the dog sees him.

Dogs generally bond more strongly with one particular person and, strange as that may seem to your partner, it tends to be with the person who puts in most effort with them.

Handyweatherstation · 10/05/2022 13:06

Surely the dog is allowed to like one of you more than the other? Dogs are allowed to have preferences.

It was my OH who brought our dog home and as far as the dog was concerned OH was God. That was okay by me and I liked the fact the dog adored him so much and trusted him so completely. To me, that told me my partner is a good man and that sits well with me.

Original poster
D0lphine · 10/05/2022 13:28

Just to give you an example today.

I woke up and let the dog out for the loo. I gave her breakfast. Mid morning I threw the ball with her in the garden for ten mins. I took her on a walk at lunch time. On the walk I threw the ball in the field and did some training. When we got home I got her lunch. At about 4 I'll take her out for the loo and a play. At about 7 I'm going to take her on a short potter (20 mins) to pick something up from someone in the village and then when I get back I'll give her tea.

All the while he has done nothing...

Not surprising she likes me more? I'm meeting all her needs throughout the day after all.

Thanks ladies glad to know I'm not losing it.

OP posts:
BrownOwlknowsbest · 13/05/2022 22:22

I'm not convinced that it is always the person doing most for the dog. Sometimes they just are fixated on one person We had a colie cross rescue who adored DH. However DH often had to go abroad on business, sometimes for a week or more at a time, so I did the feeding, walking, grooming, playing training etc and we did get on quite well. However each and every time I came back from a trip out, Ddog would come to the door and look pointedly behind me to check that DH was not there. Only when he was sure DH was not there would he condescend greet me.

Fluffycloudland77 · 14/05/2022 17:08

Our cat used to look behind dh for me, then he’d jump on the windowsill to wait for me.

Cameleongirl · 14/05/2022 17:17

Our dog is my first dog (DH grew up with them as family pets) and I realized after a few months that I was his number one human. 😂
I do show him a lot of affection, walk him, etc. but so do the rest of the family. He also play bites and barks/whines at me when he wants something in a way that he doesn’t with other people.

I was traveling last month and DD reported that he turned his attentions to her after a few days-but immediately reverted to me when I got home. DD was slightly offended.🤣

DogsAndGin · 14/05/2022 17:21

Our dog trainer told us that dogs have one main owner. One main relationship. I am my dog’s world, sure she likes my DH, but she adores me and will cuddle up to me, over him, 99% of the time. She is glued to me on walks. Seeks me when she’s scared. It’s just their nature.

Original poster
D0lphine · 14/05/2022 18:50

DogsAndGin · 14/05/2022 17:21

Our dog trainer told us that dogs have one main owner. One main relationship. I am my dog’s world, sure she likes my DH, but she adores me and will cuddle up to me, over him, 99% of the time. She is glued to me on walks. Seeks me when she’s scared. It’s just their nature.

That's interesting... thanks for everyone's insights

OP posts:
XelaM · 14/05/2022 20:02

Our poodle loved the whole family to be together, but there was absolutely no question about who is favourite person in the family was - my grandfather. He made no secret of the fact that he preferred him to any other human, doesn't matter how much those humans did for him. My grandfather was always his favourite and the only person he liked to take afternoon naps with 😴

Dogs are funny little personalities 😂

XelaM · 14/05/2022 20:03

his favourite*

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