Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
The doghouse

If you're worried about your pet's health, please speak to a vet or qualified professional.

Original poster

Rescue dog growling at dd

35 replies

marcogreen · 29/04/2022 21:25

Hello everyone

I'm a nervous wreck after recently adopting a young terrier (about 2) from a local (very reputable) rescue.

He seemed fine when we met him and walked him at the rescue but since he's been home with us (just over a week), he's started growling at my daughter (9).

He can be relaxed and happy one minute and the next he's growling and barking at her. He hasn't snapped or bared his teeth - but I am very worried and I can see she's wary of him. He doesn't do this outside or on walks, just in the house.

My partner thinks I'm overreacting and reckons the dog just needs time to settle in but I don't want to take any chances.

I've spoken to the rescue who said they think it's status-related (i.e. he's trying it on with my daughter because he sees her as the weakest link) and have given us some tips to deal with it - e.g. have my daughter feed him and hold his lead on walks (all under close supervision) and generally show him that she's further up the pecking order. But having looked into this online, it seems this sort of pack theory is years out of date. I'm quite confused.

The rescue also said if they honestly thought he was a threat, they'd take him from us but they really think he'll settle down with time. He's otherwise a sweet dog, very energetic but a real character. I just can't stand the idea of my daughter having to tiptoe around her own house until (if) he settles down. She's putting on a brave face because she's desperate to keep him but I can see she's nervous.

Any ideas?

Thank you!

OP posts:
Wolfiefan · 29/04/2022 21:27

The rescue has given you awful advice. Pack theory and the idea of dominance has been debunked.
Behaviourist could help. Or keep them apart for now in the house. Does he have a safe space?

Discovereads · 29/04/2022 21:27

Honestly, I’d send the dog back. Children always come before dogs. Your DD should feel safe in her own home. What if the dog bites your DD? And then she is scarred, and the dog gets put to sleep.

The dog clearly is unhappy in a household with a child, so would also be happier to be rehomed in a family with no children.

NrlySp · 29/04/2022 21:30

Listen to what the dog is saying - keep away from me to your DD
I would send the dog back. Your DD is more important.

alexdgr8 · 29/04/2022 21:31

get rid of the dog.
no contest.

TunnelOfGoats · 29/04/2022 21:36

You have to get rid of the dog.

Happenchance · 29/04/2022 21:41

Are you in the UK @marcogreen? I would complain to the rescue about the advice that you've been given.

Can you keep them apart for now?

unknownorigins · 29/04/2022 21:43

Send him back now before you get too emotionally invested. I say this as someone who had to return a rescue dog after 2 weeks, it was awful and affected the whole family, but ultimately it was the right decision because we couldn't meet his undisclosed needs.

whenwilliwillibefamous · 29/04/2022 21:45

You're not happy, dog's not happy, rescue may be straining at the seams and their feedback is coloured by the desire not to have a return. Simplest answer is to be firm and return the dog before he gets a record of anything worse than growling. (Growling is good btw, in that it gives you a warning - the ones who go straight to proper biting are the truly scary ones).

Sometimes things ... just don't go the way we hoped.

balzamico · 29/04/2022 21:51

Sorry but the dog has to go, it's telling you it's not happy and not fair on your dd
We rejoined an aggressive dog and now have an absolute softie we can actually relax with.

Ellie5341 · 29/04/2022 21:53

What a sad situation for all of you (and the dog) but he needs to be returned.

You op are not comfortable with this so listen to your gut for dd's sake.

Unfortunately dogs will be completely different sometimes when taken home which you've found out.

The dog could have been hurt/ teased by a child your daughter reminds him of- it would take a lot of help to teach the dog different. Not his fault he's an animal acting on instinct like your instinct is to protect dd.

You need to think one day dd might not hear dog growl or realise he's somewhere and approach the area after he's warned her away. The dog may attack, especially as currently she is responding to the dogs warnings to back off.

Rescue centres don't always see the dogs true temperament as they aren't in a house/ home family set up. Doesn't mean they're bad necessarily- they just don't know.
Unfortunately they also want to home dogs so will do what they can to keep the dog in the home.

Regardless of feelings, safety needs to come first.

PollyRoulllson · 30/04/2022 08:34

It is not a reputable rescue if they have given you the advice you state.

It may be that it settles down but you will need qualififed and professional support from a behaviourist.

SarahSissions · 30/04/2022 08:56

There is a dog out there who is right for you. And a home out there that is right for this dog. I am sure both your family and the dog are lovely- you just aren’t right for each other.
a bark is a warning- you want them to bark to tell you that they aren’t happy, and then listen to that- if you keep pushing the situation that is where the dog will snap- (think “I kept warning you I was unhappy and you didn’t listen”)
it could be the dog hasn’t been around kids before and finds them a bit overwhelming-or it has been around kids before and had a negative experience. Finding a new home for a dog without kids isn’t too difficult, finding a new home for a for a dog with bite history is much harder

Original poster
marcogreen · 30/04/2022 11:51

Thanks so much, I think this is exactly what I needed to hear. He's a smashing little dog but sadly not for us and I definitely think he'd be more relaxed and better off in a home without children.

I don't want to break my daughter's heart but I suspect she'd probably be relieved if we rehomed him.

Thanks again for taking the time to reply

OP posts:
Original poster
marcogreen · 30/04/2022 11:58

Happenchance · 29/04/2022 21:41

Are you in the UK @marcogreen? I would complain to the rescue about the advice that you've been given.

Can you keep them apart for now?

Yes I'm in the UK.

I think the rescue are just trying their best - they're inundated with dogs at the moment and don't want to have to deal with a return. I get that - and I do also see their point that a dog needs time to settle down - but I'm not sure this guy is really right for us. None of us (apart from my partner, who is convinced all will be fine) seem relaxed around each other. I'm going to talk to the rescue again and yes, in the meantime, I can keep him and my daughter apart.

OP posts:
PinkSyCo · 30/04/2022 11:58

Oh this is so sad for your family and your dog, and is the only reason I’d be nervous about getting a rescue dog. It’s such a shame and I’m so angry at the rescue centre that you got him from, as the poor thing will probably be passed from pillar to post thanks to their stupidity. Your DD must come first though obviously.

Original poster
marcogreen · 30/04/2022 11:59

Wolfiefan · 29/04/2022 21:27

The rescue has given you awful advice. Pack theory and the idea of dominance has been debunked.
Behaviourist could help. Or keep them apart for now in the house. Does he have a safe space?

Yes he has a crate that he goes in happily so I can keep them apart in the house.

OP posts:
chickyellowcute · 30/04/2022 12:04

We had this with an older rescue, lovely and soppy but the more she relaxed and felt safe to express herself, well - the more she expressed herself

She took a slight dislike to my adult daughter at random times, would growl when daughter just sat on sofa not even looking at her or anything with her head in her phone

This was during lockdown so the behaviorist couldn't' visit. We also would have had to replicate the behaviors in front of the behaviorist and couldn't because she would be totally random about it with no linking events.

We tried a few other things, like my daughter being the only one to give her high reward food (chicken was her fave) but nothing helped. We always made sure had safe spaces and plenty of room and never crowded her.

We tried for 2 months but it just wasn't to be sadly. She was re-adopted to a one person household directly from us (but the rescue place facilitated it)

Muffinsorcrumpets · 30/04/2022 12:12

I'd send back the dog.

SheWoreYellow · 30/04/2022 12:16

I would consider keeping the dog if they are only growling when she approaches it when it’s lying down.

I’d also google the canine aggression ladder - the dog is trying to tell you he’s not happy, so you listen to a growl.

GreenClock · 30/04/2022 12:17

For everyone’s sake, return him today OP. There is no point in dragging this out.

Discovereads · 30/04/2022 12:24

Yes, I’d just crate him up and take him in whenever they are open. No reason to faff about calling the rescue to see when it’s convenient.

Original poster
marcogreen · 30/04/2022 14:43

Unfortunately he's not just growling when she approaches him. She's pretty dog savvy, as our (wider) family has always had dogs so she knows to give him space. He just growls at really random times. Last night she was sitting on the sofa with her dad and the dog just started growling out of nowhere.

The first time he did it, she was eating her breakfast at the table and he was lying on his bed (in the same room) and he just started growling at her. Sometimes he growls and barks when she comes into the dining room (where he sleeps) and sometimes he doesn't. It's unpredictable so I'm on constant alert - this obviously isn't helping an already tense atmosphere. The shelter said I need to try to be calm and confident around the dog - easier said than done. I just don't want my daughter to get bitten!

OP posts:
Original poster
marcogreen · 30/04/2022 14:46

chickyellowcute · 30/04/2022 12:04

We had this with an older rescue, lovely and soppy but the more she relaxed and felt safe to express herself, well - the more she expressed herself

She took a slight dislike to my adult daughter at random times, would growl when daughter just sat on sofa not even looking at her or anything with her head in her phone

This was during lockdown so the behaviorist couldn't' visit. We also would have had to replicate the behaviors in front of the behaviorist and couldn't because she would be totally random about it with no linking events.

We tried a few other things, like my daughter being the only one to give her high reward food (chicken was her fave) but nothing helped. We always made sure had safe spaces and plenty of room and never crowded her.

We tried for 2 months but it just wasn't to be sadly. She was re-adopted to a one person household directly from us (but the rescue place facilitated it)

I must say, this is what I'm most worried about - his behaviour getting worse rather than better. The shelter has assured me that if I follow their advice , he'll settle and be a great family dog.
I have a feeling though that it might be an ongoing battle with him...😫

OP posts:
Original poster
marcogreen · 30/04/2022 15:02

SarahSissions · 30/04/2022 08:56

There is a dog out there who is right for you. And a home out there that is right for this dog. I am sure both your family and the dog are lovely- you just aren’t right for each other.
a bark is a warning- you want them to bark to tell you that they aren’t happy, and then listen to that- if you keep pushing the situation that is where the dog will snap- (think “I kept warning you I was unhappy and you didn’t listen”)
it could be the dog hasn’t been around kids before and finds them a bit overwhelming-or it has been around kids before and had a negative experience. Finding a new home for a dog without kids isn’t too difficult, finding a new home for a for a dog with bite history is much harder

Thank you for this - it's made me weirdly emotional. I've waited a long time to get a dog (after my gorgeous old rescue died when I was expecting dd) and I just feel so disappointed that it's gone/going a bit wrong.

I know rescue dogs aren't always a walk in the park, but the amount of tension and anxiety I'm feeling is making the whole experience the very opposite of enjoyable.

I feel horribly guilty at the thought of returning him but at least the rescue will have more information on him so they can match him to the right place this time.

OP posts:
Clymene · 30/04/2022 15:22

Take him back to the rescue and get a dog from a different rescue which doesn't peddle pack theory rubbish.