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The doghouse

If you're worried about your pet's health, please speak to a vet or qualified professional.

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Original poster

Decided to PTS - need reassurance

17 replies

fattiefattieboomboom · 21/04/2022 22:04

Very sadly I made the decision to have my dog PTS today. He was 12.5 years old.

He was diagnosed with cancer in March. The type he had was very susceptible to treatment (although not curable), so chemo was started.

He tolerated this really well, no side effects & showed improvement but on his 5 week blood check his levels had worsened. This came as a surprise to the vet, who was not expecting it.

He was given a 'booster' dose of a different chemo & again no immediate side effects. However, after a few days he started to decline. Not eating, walking really slowly & generally fed up. He had bloods taken again & he'd developed hypercalcemia (cancer related). He was admitted for fluids & steroids for one night & discharged yesterday.

He was no better & today was very depressed. The plan had been to try another chemo, but there was no guarantee this would work or how quickly. I made the decision to PTS as really didn't want him suffering.

I now have the guilt that I should have tried, that maybe he might have rallied. Did I do it because I didn't want to have to worry about him anymore?? I was beginning to dread every day as I wasn't sure how he would be.

The finality of it is just awful.

I just miss him & can't believe he's gone.

OP posts:

MyDogTails · 21/04/2022 22:08

You did the right thing . It’s hard now but you put his needs ahead of yours and took care of him until the end.

bloodywhitecat · 21/04/2022 22:09

Oh my, you absolutely made the right decision. When we lost our old Lab to cancer my very wise son told me it was better the decision was a day too early than a minute too late and he was absolutely right. Sending you much love tonight

Lougle · 21/04/2022 22:10

You put him first and I admire you greatly for it

DramaAlpaca · 21/04/2022 22:11

I'm so sorry for your loss. You did the right thing. His quality of life had gone and you acted before he was suffering. That's what a loving, caring owner does

AmberLynn1536 · 21/04/2022 22:12

I am so very sorry, it’s an awful situation to be in and an awful decision to have to make but what you need to remember is he was suffering and you put a stop to that, it was the kindest thing to do, the extra chemo would not have cured him and their was no guarantee that he would have rallied, he could have suffered even more and you would then be reproaching yourself for not PTS sooner. If the vet thought it was too soon they would have told you, you did the right thing. I’m so sorry for your loss, they absolutely break your heart.

bilbodog · 21/04/2022 22:14

Sounds like you did the right thing - 12.5 years is a good age And he was suffering. Its a horrible thing to have to do and extremely painful - give yourself time to grieve and think of all the wonderful times you had. 💐💐💐

olderwhynotwiser · 21/04/2022 22:16

Sorry for your loss op. You loved your dog and made sure he didn't suffer. You did your best for your dear friend.

blinder · 21/04/2022 22:16

I agonised in January about this for my elderly dog with cancer, and felt afterwards that I had left it too late, and that we had artificially kept her alive too long.
I think you made the right call.
You prevented suffering (and maybe a traumatic crisis) that you and he will never know about. That became a great comfort to me.

Original poster

fattiefattieboomboom · 21/04/2022 22:23

Thanks everyone for your kind words (and sorry to those that have been through this too).

He went very peacefully & quickly - in fact he'd gone before the vet had finished administering the anaesthetic. I'm telling myself this just shows how ill he was.

They really do break your heart & he seemed to have aged so quickly.

He was a lovely chap & a great friend.

OP posts:

PaintAndPirouettes · 21/04/2022 22:29

I'm so sorry for your loss. You did the right thing though, to end the suffering of your friend. If you were dreading each day, I can only imagine how he was feeling.

I recently watched a very elderly human relative die. I'm sorry to say that while she rallied, even that wasn't worth it in the wider context of taking about 10 days to die. It wasn't long before I wished that she could have been euthanised like our dogs are, and asked if there was any medication she could be given to hasten things along (such as an increased dose of the morphine she was already on). Rallying really isn't all it's cracked up to be.

When it's my turn to shuffle off this mortal coil, I hope there's someone around who is able and willing to make the same decision you did for your dog.

tabulahrasa · 22/04/2022 06:57

When you’re at the point where the stuff that might work hasn’t and they’re miserable, keeping going in the hope something might eventually work isn’t for their benefit.

it’s rubbish for owners, but the best decision for the dog.

Original poster

fattiefattieboomboom · 22/04/2022 07:40

I'm struggling with it today. I've not slept & can't eat. Such a horrible feeling of anxiety.

I know realistically it was the right thing. He was never going to beat it & the end result was always going to be sad. He just got there much quicker than expected. Even the vet apologised for not discussing end of life earlier - so convinced she'd been that he'd respond well. The suspicion is he his cancer was a strain they don't know about or he had something else going on too. Further tests would have given more of a definitive diagnosis, but ultimately the outcome would have been the same.

It's going to take a lot of getting used to. It was just him & me at home & 12.5 years of the same routine is hard to break. I thought I heard him several times last night.

Thanks again for reading & for the replies. It really does help.

OP posts:

Workinghardeveryday · 22/04/2022 07:52

You did the right thing op you really did. I am so sorry for your loss xx.

years ago I had a dog that I loved so much I was selfish looking back and should have had put to sleep a long time before I did. I have always regretted it. Just kept taking her to the vet, vet taking my money and telling me she could manage her condition which wasn’t curable.

in the end she was miserable.

I admire you for being so selfless and putting your dear friend first.

It does get easier in time. Thinking of you xxx

Womble18 · 22/04/2022 08:22

I'm so sorry for your loss. They leave such a huge hole in our lives.

You did the kindest thing for him, he was suffering and your love for him meant you put him before your own sadness.

I lost my dog earlier this year, the loss of him and my daily routine was heartbreaking. It does get easier with time although I still miss him every day.

Be kind to yourself, let yourself grieve for your friend, people will understand.

INeedaCalculator · 22/04/2022 16:00

I’m so sorry for your loss. I’m two weeks down the line after losing my boy to cancer, he was just seven. Thankfully his end was peaceful and calm.
Without doubt you did the kindest thing for your dog but I empathise with the guilt. And the anxiety too.
I hope you can take a little comfort from the lovely, kind people on this thread OP

QuestionableMouse · 22/04/2022 16:14

You did the best thing for him. His quality of life wasn't going to improve. I'm sorry.

SockFluffInTheBath · 23/04/2022 20:18

I’m so sorry for your loss OP. You didn’t give up on him, you made the hardest decision and did the kindest thing you could

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