Dog barking at children

[Alyosha]

My brother in law and his wife have a 1.5 year old cocker spaniel. Whenever he sees my 8 month old he barks and is also visibly stressed by my 3.5 year old. Children are never unsupervised with the dog but I'm alarmed by BIL's laissez-faire attitude - whenever the dog barks at the kids he brushes it off and says "oh he's just being playful, don't be scared". To my mind my 3.5 should be scared of a barking dog and follow his instinct - to withdraw! Are there any resources out there to show BIL and SIL that this is dangerous? Or am I overreacting?

Its not dangerous as such, but their attitude is.

The dog is communicating something (maybe that he is unsure or unhappy, although our 18 month old cocker sometimes barks when hes desperate to play with other dogs so it could also be overexcitement) in the only way he can.

The worst thing to do would be to punish the dog for barking, as you want him to communicate if he is unhappy (rather than missing the signs and risking an incident).

This Dogs Trust page is pretty good - www.dogstrust.org.uk/help-advice/dog-care/staying-safe-around-dogs

To add; we have a 2 year old nephew, we went on holiday with him & our dog when dog was 9 months and baby was 15 months.

Dog did bark at first at the confusing new small creature toddling around. We used baby gates etc to keep them separate. Lots of treats for dog when he was calm & baby was nearby to create a positive association.

Thanks for that - great practical advice. I'll try get them to do that next time we're all together for a while

Barking on its own is just a form of communication - it doesn't necessarily mean the dog is going to hurt your DC at all.

Barking can mean fear, but it can also mean over-excitement, or "I want to play" or "feed me" or "who are you?" - anything, really.

Body language is more important so maybe have a read up about canine body language and the ladder of aggression and see where the dog fits in there.

Thanks. Dog is generally playful but really only barks at the kids which does concern me. I have no experience with dogs and this dog is BIL and SIL's first dog. Good to hear some seasoned advice!

Is the dog ever around other children at all or is just your DC he spends time with?

If he never meets or has other children in his home then barking in response to their presence is pretty normal tbh.

You would need to do lots of positive reinforcement for the dog - so praising him when he's calm around the children, not allowing him to jump up or be in the room with them when he barks, but if you don't visit often this won't be an easy thing to teach - though it's certainly possible if you're all consistent and willing to put the work in.

These are the only children he sees -and I'm not sure BIL and SIL would out the time in to teach him tbh. I'll ask them. Might be easier to just keep them apart

The debt of gratitude is in order for that - extraordinary commonsense guidance. I'll attempt to inspire them to do that whenever all of us are together for some time much obliged for that - extraordinarily reasonable counsel. I'll attempt to inspire them to do that whenever all of us are together for some time

Just ended up having an argument with BIL...dog was barking whenever he saw 3.5 yo and said 3.5 year old kept going over despite being told not to. BIL found it hilarious. I did not. Arrgh!

@Alyosha

Just ended up having an argument with BIL...dog was barking whenever he saw 3.5 yo and said 3.5 year old kept going over despite being told not to. BIL found it hilarious. I did not. Arrgh!

Hmmm - who was in charge of the 3yo and allowing him to keep approaching a barking dog?

My mother in law. I'll be taking responsibility in future!

Barking can be for all sorts of things, I would not want my dog to bark at people though

The 3.5yo needs to be supervised much more closely around the dog. This is really serious - the dog is trying to communicate, neither your BIL or MIL are listening, but if the dog bites he could be euthanised.

If you aren't seeing them frequently enough or BIL doesn't care enough to work on calm behaviour, then dog and children need to be kept separate for both their safety.

You need to teach the children not to approach any dog without asking permission - your BILs dog may actually be fine and just excited but all children should be taught this. It's basic safety, like not touching the iron or running by a swimming pool.

@Alyosha

My mother in law. I'll be taking responsibility in future!

You must do.

Children have to be supervised at all times and removed if they won't listen.

I think in future they won't be in the same room. My MIL had a go at me and said that meant "the family could never be together" again. Very silly of her - they just have to be in separate rooms which is not impossible. We always ask before the 3 year old approaches other dogs, just let my guard slip here but not again!