Who looks after ddog when I have the baby?

[Songbird21]

I’m nearly 39 weeks pregnant, first baby, due on 21st. The one thing I’d asked my mum help with is looking after our dog around my due date. She was due to come and visit around my due date for a few nights and then take our dog away with her until baby came and she can bring him back when she comes to meet baby (she lives a few hours away). All agreed months ago.

DDog is a lovely, really well behaved, 10yo labradoodle. He’s big and hairy but no trouble at all. In fact, he was her dog for the first half of his life. He came to live with DH and I 5 years ago after my Dad passed away.

Mum already has 2 other dogs. Just recently, out of nowhere, she has got herself another puppy and has booked a holiday away with her boyfriend and all 3 of her dogs 17th-22nd April. She now thinks it might be ‘a bit much’ having all 4 dogs , including the new puppy away with her in her motor home. I completely agree but don’t see why she’s done this!

She asked if my dog can stay with my sister instead. My sister has an absolutely wild 1yo staffy who spends his time trying to play with my dog by jumping in his face and barking at him. My dog will tolerate this for so long but the staffy just doesn’t respond to any of my dog’s cues to back off until he really has to bark, snarl and bare his teeth. He’s not like this is any other situation and it clearly stresses him out. My sister has no issues with this because she thinks it’s helping teach her dog manners. She has had our dog for the odd overnight when needed but realistically, this could be for a few weeks and I just feel bad putting him in this situation.

Putting my generally pissed off feelings aside about how unhelpful my mum has been, what would you do?

1 - Mum has said she will still take our dog away with her if it’s too much hassle so that is still an option.

2 - Our dog goes to stay with my sister and has a bit of a stressful few weeks

3 - scrabble around for another option last minute (not sure what this would be!)

Kennels? Friends? Neighbours? Dog stays at home with someone house sitting in your home for you for however long it takes?

3. message every local friend you know & if no one can have him then either a) put a shout out for help on the Nextdoor website, FB etc or b) book him an extended (expensive) stay in kennels.

Just recently, out of nowhere, she has got herself another puppy and has booked a holiday away with her boyfriend and all 3 of her dogs 17th-22nd April.

I can't imagine booking a holiday on the due date of my first (or any other) grandchild. Have you generally got a good relationship with her OP? My own mother went really wierd when I was pregnant, did similar things, didn't like me having some attention, thats why I asked about your mum.

Put the dog in kennels, he'll be fine.

Have you tried looking on the Rover app? They do dog sitters and you might find one who can be flexible around dates. Alternatively is there a neighbour who could take the dog while you are in hospital or do you know a responsible teenager who could stay in your house with the dog while you are in hospital.

I would be concerned about Option 2, only because when the dog comes home to you and new baby that will already be a potentially stressful situation for him.

Is your dog okay with all 3 of your Mum's dogs?

Most local friends work full time so although there are a couple with spare keys on stand by to do an emergency feed and walk, not sure if I could ask them to keep him for too long. My best friend would have him but she’s struggling with first trimester sickness herself and has a 2yo and a cat in the mix so would rather not put that on her if possible!

The issue with kennels (aside from the expense!) is when to book for and for how long? He’s never stayed in kennels before but I will research some local ones.

House sitting is a good idea, I might look into how flexible that can be. A responsible teenager would be ideal - if only we knew of one of those! Thanks for the app recommendation, I’ll have a look at that too.

@DenholmElliot we generally have a really good relationship which is why I can’t really fathom her behaviour at the moment! Up until now she’s been really excited about the baby too. There was definitely a big shift in our relationship after Dad died and I became much more the one who looks after her. It’s possible I’ve done too good a job of being fiercely independently over the years and she now thinks I don’t need her so much. But I do at the moment!

If baby comes early then a work friend will have him (we work in a school so off on Easter hols at the moment) so we’re covered until 19th. Maybe the best option is just to keep bouncing on the ball!

He’s such a lovely boy too!

Why do you think it will be a few weeks? Surely it is only an issue whilst you are actually in hospital - which these days is as short a time as possible, sometimes not even going to the ward but being discharged from the labour suite instead?

Haha he is gorgeous 😍

Do you know any friendly local dog walkers who might do overnight boarding? Xx

@JustALittleHelpPlease in the original plan he was going to go away from just before my due date until after the baby is born so we didn’t have to worry about finding last minute care and it would be fine if I went a while over my due date etc. He knows my mum’s house and her other dogs well and would have been absolutely fine there for as long as needed.

But you’re right, hopefully it will just a be a night or two to cover under the new plan!

Try googling dog hotels - where the dog lives at someone's home as part of the family.

How long do you think you are going to be in hospital for? You could be in and out?

Obviously the dog will need taking care of so you need plans, I have 2 myself and due imminently. But they will be let out just before we leave and people have keys to let them out for last wees, feed them breakfast etc . Husband will come home if I have to stay in or whatever, can you do that? Sure friends won't mind popping in or your sister? Giving him a little walk and a treat or his food if needed for the short time you are away. Or until your partner gets Back? He sounds like a chilled dog so sure he will be fine for a few hours or a day with check ins and a walk.

You might be in and out pretty quickly, why do you think you’ll need somewhere for the dog? Have you got a partner?

Not being goady at all, generally confused.
My last birth was 13 hours (friend nipped in and walked and fed the dog, sorted the cats) dh then went home so was with the pets. Came home the next day. I would have thought even if myself or dd had to stay in hospital dh would have been at home aside from visiting hours.

As long as he is pretty chilled like you say then will he not be ok just at home with your DH/other friends nipping in to let him out and feed him. It might not be ideal but for 24-48 hours of disruption he should be ok?

You're due on 21st, and could easily go overdue. She's back on 22nd. Can't he go to your sisters for a couple of days then your Mum takes him to hers when she's back?

My dog boards at a local person's home when I holiday abroad (he has up to 4 or 5 dogs at a time, sometimes she is the only one). I heard about him on the dog-walking grapevine when talking to other dog owners. It is much cheaper (and nicer for the dog) than if I got a dog-"sitter", most of whom don't seem to actually stay in your home all that long and actually sleep at their own. Get chatting to other dog owners and ask at the vet's. We ran into the nice dogboarding man this morning on our walk and my dog was really pleased to see him so I know she is fine there.

Why would it be for a few weeks?

I take it your other half’s parents can’t help? They would be an obvious choice

I suppose I’m just worried that it might not be an ‘in and out’ situation and then we might be stuck. DH is allowed to stay with me throughout at the moment so in my head I’d ruled him out.

But you’re right, all being well he could definitely manage being ‘popped in’ on for a couple of days, especially if DH comes home overnight. Much better way to think about it alongside investigating some dog-boarding solutions.

When I was pg DSis had my dogs. I just called her when labour started, she picked them up and returned when I came home 2 days later. I don’t understand why they’d need to be gone for weeks. Even if you have to rush in, surely they can be left for an hour or so til someone can collect them?

I found walking my dogs a bloody lifesaver in the later stages of pregnancy too. I was so bored.

It's still university holidays, there may be a student home willing to stay at your for a day or so for a bit of pocket money

@devildeepbluesea

When I was pg DSis had my dogs. I just called her when labour started, she picked them up and returned when I came home 2 days later. I don’t understand why they’d need to be gone for weeks. Even if you have to rush in, surely they can be left for an hour or so til someone can collect them?

I found walking my dogs a bloody lifesaver in the later stages of pregnancy too. I was so bored.

It doesn't really matter if it's weeks or days as OP doesn't have anyone for either. At best she's looking at cover for a few hours at the moment.

He doesn’t need to be gone for weeks. It’s more that that was the most convenient, low-stress, original plan. He would have been happy at mum’s for as long as we needed (which he wouldn’t be at my sister’s). It wouldn’t have mattered when I went into labour, or if I ended up with a 3 day induction for example. So was one less thing to think about. It is quite possible I’m overthinking this (I have form for that) but first baby and all that!

It’s more that I now need a new plan quite close to the due date which is a bit stressful. But this has helped shift the perspective on it and given me a few other options to look into. Getting him used to someone local who can do overnights is probably a good long-term thing anyway. We used to know a lovely walker/boarder but she moved away and with Covid we haven’t really needed to find a replacement as haven’t been away without him much!

I would speak to kennels as your best option. The ones my sister uses are very reputable, but have lots of capacity and are not overrun, so they can almost always accommodate at short notice.

If you find one you like that has good capacity, it will be a good, reliable option in the future as well. It's preferable to have to rely on people for favours if you can pay for a legitimate service.