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The doghouse

If you're worried about your pet's health, please speak to a vet or qualified professional.

Original poster

Dog bit my daughter.

43 replies

BristolZoo · 09/04/2022 14:31

I have a one year old bichon who we've had since a puppy. He's great little dog and we love him a lot, he's very much part of the family.

However, yesterday he bit my 6 year old daughter on the face. He didn't break the skin, it was only a very slight scratch mark on her chin.
It was entirely my fault, my daughter was sitting very close to the dog and cuddled him by sort of grabbing him around the neck as he slept. Obviously, I've talked to her a lot about how to act around dogs, but she's six and kids do stupid things.

He also he also has a problem with guarding, which he does a lot. We can handle this and are working on it.
The problem is that I've seen how aggressive he can be and I'm worried that he will hurt somebody again in the future.

I am desperate not to re-home him, the kids would be distraught but I'm also concerned that we are doing something wrong or that a busy family is the wrong home for him.

Any advice??

OP posts:
NandorTheRelentlessCleaner · 09/04/2022 14:41

The dog has done nothing wrong

The situation just needs to be managed better

Let sleeping dogs lie, have safe spaces where the child is not allowed to touch the dog (eg the dog bed and other places the dog sleeps)

Tell her never to hug a dog (they hate it) and not cuddle them either. They are not stuffed toys

Hope you can sort it out

DentonsFringeArnottsWaistcoat · 09/04/2022 14:43

The problem is that I've seen how aggressive he can be and I'm worried that he will hurt somebody again in the future
When? When he was forcibly woken from sleep? That’s not aggression.

DietOrDie · 09/04/2022 14:44

It's not the dog's fault; there's a reason why they say to let sleeping dogs lie, as your daughter has found out. I'd be approaching this along the lines of telling your daughter that she has now found out why you tell her not to touch the dog when it's asleep, or to hug it.

If he'd really wanted to hurt your daughter, he would have. This was an incident where the dog used restraint.

Floralnomad · 09/04/2022 14:46

He has not been aggressive , he’s shown marvellous restraint having been grabbed round the neck while he was asleep ( that’s how he will see being cuddled ) - he could have taken half her face off and didn’t - good dog .

Original poster
BristolZoo · 09/04/2022 14:55

Yes, I agree. He could have hurt her much more and he didn't. My daughter is six and it's my fault. I've talked and talked to her since and really, really hope she wouldn't do it again.

But, the dog can be aggressive. He guards lots of things, socks, bags, toys. He growls and snarls if we approach him while he is guarding. The kids know not to approach him when he is guarding and we are working on giving him treats to distract and to reassure him.

I suppose the biting and the guarding have just sent me into a spiral of worry that I'm creating an aggressive dog. I'm worried about having the kids friends over.
He's gorgeous, friendly and happy while he's out. It's just when he's at home!

OP posts:
Floralnomad · 09/04/2022 14:59

You need a properly qualified behaviourist to deal with the resource guarding , perhaps @PollyRoulllson could recommend someone in your area . Sometimes you can get some sessions on your insurance .

Original poster
BristolZoo · 09/04/2022 15:02

Thanks. Yes, that's what I've been thinking. Am taking him to the vet next week and hope that they will be able to recommend somebody locally.

OP posts:
SirVixofVixHall · 09/04/2022 15:05

Well this was a snap, not a bite. Different in dog terms as it is a warning off, a notch up from growling. Many , many dogs would snap or bite under these circumstances. I was snapped at by my friend’s lovely dog for stupidly doing just this as a teenager. The dog was very upset that she’d snapped at me as she loved me. I learnt my lesson.
Is he your first dog ? Because many dogs when young do the growly thing when they have a toy, as part of an incitement to play rather than aggression. It can sound fierce but the body language is different. You may well know this if you have had a dog before, so it is just a suggestion.
If it is true aggressive guarding then I think you need to see a good behaviourist and nip it in the bud.

SirVixofVixHall · 09/04/2022 15:05

Cross posted on the guarding.

mumtoallbhoys · 09/04/2022 15:09

Is he neutered?

Aquamarine1029 · 09/04/2022 15:10

Where the dog sleeping when your daughter grabbed him?

Original poster
BristolZoo · 09/04/2022 15:11

Thanks. Yes, I've had dogs before and this is definitely full on resource guarding. Ears back, tail down, showing teeth, growling etc. I thought it was getting better but lately I'm not so sure.

Honestly, I think I worry about the dog more than I worry about the kids!

OP posts:
Original poster
BristolZoo · 09/04/2022 15:12

@Aquamarine1029

Where the dog sleeping when your daughter grabbed him?
He was dozing on the sofa.
OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 09/04/2022 15:15

He was dozing on the sofa.

I would put a stop to this immediately because it's just asking for trouble with young, bouncy children about.

The dog needs their own bed, away from the fray, and the children need to told to leave the dog alone when he's in his bed.

fairylightsandwaxmelts · 09/04/2022 15:16

This specific episode isn't aggression - it's the dog being a dog. Why on earth was your daughter allowed to approach the dog while he slept?

If you are worried about guarding in general, then you need the help of a behaviourist (NOT a trainer).

GiltEdges · 09/04/2022 15:19

Stop the dog sleeping on the sofa and make sure they have a safe place to sleep, undisturbed. That said, I’m surprised this has happened with a 6 year old child. DS is 3 and is already very aware of how to act around our dogs and consequently we’ve never had any incidents.

Madrenetterhere · 09/04/2022 15:22

You are worried because you should be. You have created an insecure aggressive dog that combined with young children would be a no from me. Imagine your dog was a rottweiler or any larger breed....you just wouldn't be double checking this online. Would you? Dog would be gone. I think you need to remove him unless you can undo his behaviour and ensure every single moment of the day you never leave your children alone with the dog.

Madrenetterhere · 09/04/2022 15:27

Wow just read that you worry about having children's friends over. You clearly have these worries because they are founded. I don't think you should own this dog or any. So many people own dogs and they shouldn't. Don't invite other children's friends over or get rid of the dog. Your ego isn't going to like reading this but deep down if you manage to put that aside you know what I'm saying is true.

curiouscatgotkilled · 09/04/2022 15:28

I dog had issues with resource guarding. You need to always swap the item he is guard or something else. He will learn that there is no need to guard anything; if you take it away without a swap or telll him off it reinforces his idea that he has to guard precious items.

MrsTerryPratchett · 09/04/2022 15:29

A six year old is old enough to know you never ever hug dogs and you don't wake them. Mine did then.

I think the dog needs a behaviouralist and the children need a trainer.

AndAsIfByMagic · 09/04/2022 15:30

You need to protect your children. They matter more than the dog.

Rehome it.

DietOrDie · 09/04/2022 15:49

@AndAsIfByMagic

You need to protect your children. They matter more than the dog.

Rehome it.

What message does that send to the children - if something is hard or inconvenient, then you just give up on it? If someone else's needs don't align with your own then you get rid? That's a recipe for ending up in a care home sooner than necessary.

I'd sooner teach my children to work hard, follow the rules, think about the needs of others, and to persevere even when things are hard.

MySecretHistory · 09/04/2022 16:08

My lab bit my son on the face when the dog was about 1. My son was waving Pizza on his face sitting on a sofa- the dog lunghed. Completely my fault. We put a food only at table rule. Made sure dog was never fed except in their bowl. The dog was the most placid in the world. Lived to 12 and never had another incident. Only growled 3 times in her life

My next dog was rehomed to us. A terrible resource guarder. We sorted it ourselves- read up on it. Never gave up- I had a 90 minute stand off over a sharpie lid once (I won). That dog is now 5- I would NEVER leave it alone with a child even though it is 3 years since he growled or snapped at anyone and never resource guards. That dog hates anyone coming towards him over the back of the sofa- not sure why but we dont do it anymore. Put sofa against the wall for a while to train the family.

MySecretHistory · 09/04/2022 16:10

@curiouscatgotkilled

I dog had issues with resource guarding. You need to always swap the item he is guard or something else. He will learn that there is no need to guard anything; if you take it away without a swap or telll him off it reinforces his idea that he has to guard precious items.
That didnt work for us. He stole and resource guarded to get a treat- it became a habit. He wasn't short of treats. he is a very clever dog

Might work with a precious toy.

AndAsIfByMagic · 09/04/2022 16:15

What message does that send to the children - if something is hard or inconvenient, then you just give up on it? If someone else's needs don't align with your own then you get rid? That's a recipe for ending up in a care home sooner than necessary.

The message it sends is -
I love you and want you to be safe.
Animals are unpredictable and can hurt people.
I love you more than the dog which has become unreliable.
Humans always matter more than animals.

The care home comment is just bonkers.