Unbiased reality check needed - PTS

[lostlostlostinthegreyfog]

I've gone round and round in circles so many times. I can't seem to get to a decision as all options are heartbreaking. I'm going to put everything in bullet points and hopefully those outside our situation can help me see clearly.

• dog was rescues as a puppy 13/14 weeks from an overbreeding situation
• dog displayed high levels of anxiety from day 1
• could not be crated or enclosed as dog would hurt themselves
• struggled to sleep at night or properly relax during the day - always "on high alert"
• at 6/7 months became reactive on leash - training school done - no improvement
• at 9m was neutered
• 1 year reactivity became worse - private training plus fluoxetine begun
• 18m no improvement on high doses , change of trainer and involvement of qualified behaviour vet
• change of meds to Clomicalm - no change in dog behaviour
• covid lockdown - reactivity become worse - escaped leash and attached a much larger dog, no injuries
• at 2yr he cannot be walked on the street as will try and get loose from leash to attack any dog
• bit me twice as I tried to remove him from situations involving other dogs
• got into fight with a neighbours dog, no injuries

--- other health issues

• hip and both knee displasia - surgery already happened on one knee
• recent endo concluded large scale inflammation of stomach, colon and digestive track - dog is already on hypoallergenic kibble - will not tolerate other foods (throws up & has constant loose bowels).
• toileting regression after being house trained

--- l
Options A: try and rehome - spend the next 10 years wondering if he's ok or if he's hurt a dog or been hurt by a dog

Option B: PTS - spend rest of my life feeling guilty

Dog has good days where he runs around and tries to play for 10 mins then goes to a corner. He still loves people.

I mostly feel like shit all the time but our quality of life is very compromised because of Ddog.

We've spent over £10,000 on vets and trainers in the past 3 years. Not sure how much more we can take of the constant stress.

Not in the U.K. so no reputable rescue to surrender him to. It would be a private adoption if we did go down the re-home route

I think PTS sounds reasonable, & I don't think you should feel guilty. You haven't caused this, there is a combination of factors, both physical and mental.

I think a dog's life should be measured in terms of quality rather than quantity. Your dog sounds like he is stressed and scared a lot of the time.

Walks aren't the fun enrichment activity they should be, instead they are scary and that fear is exhibited as aggression.

He's in pain physically, & the treatment will mean more pain and stress (at least in the short term). Even other avenues for enjoyment like a variety of food types and textures is limited due to his condition.

I think you'd be making a kind, compassionate decision to be honest.

A really tricky situation but I think you have done everything and given every opportunity to dog for him to reduce their reactivity. Given the impact on your life and his infirmities and the unliklihood of finding a suitable rehome, I would PTS. Such a difficult decision but he doesn't sound very happy and there are many years left of this to go. Unless you can find a home with fields to run in and no liklihood of other dogs then I th8nk it may be your only option.

PTS. It seems he has a terrible quality of life through no fault of yours. In pain from joints and uncomfortable probably from bowels too, scared a lot of the time, not able to enjoy normal doggy pleasures like a walk and posing a risk to people and other dogs.
Appears as though poor breeding may be the root cause given widespread physical and behaviour issues at a young age. If that's the case then it cannot be fixed.

Oh OP, he sounds like a very scared stressed dog in a lot of pain. I think PTS would be one of the biggest kindnesses you could do for him. Imagine rehoming and him getting passed from pillar to post, that would terrify him. It would be very peaceful for him and you needn’t feel guilty about it, you tried a lot harder than many would.

Option C: PTS and acknowledge the fact that some dogs are just not suitable pets. Not mentally healthy, not happy, not safe to be around. That's certainly not your fault. Having a pet is supposed to bring you joy, not anguish.
Also keep in mind that the dog doesn't have to be an unmitigated nightmare all of the time for C to still be the right decision. No dog is without his virtues but on balance C is the correct decision.
A is not a good outcome for him (continued anxiety, mental and physical ill health) for you (a decade of worry) or the people or animals who will be harmed by him in the future.
And B is doing the right thing but then, instead of choosing relief and peace, just deciding to wallow in misery for absolutely no reason.

Hi , you will get so many conflicting opinions on here but mine is pts , it sounds like you have done a hell of a lot more to help the dog than many would but so far it sounds like not much has helped him and he is clearly unhappy , dogs shouldn't need prozac .
Where do you draw the line ?
If you rehome him he could end up being passed from pillar to post before ultimately ending up being pts anyway.
Let him find some peace .

It would be kindest to have him put to sleep.

PTS, but no guilt or at least no regrets.

You've done so much, you're not giving up J him, he's in pain, he's literally struggling to eat, and he's either brain or psychologically damaged.

It's time.

You've all made me cry. I thought I was going to be roasted alive and told I don't deserve my dog.

It's so hard to be objective when you love them. I love my dog, he's my total soul dog. But he is so stressed. He pants constantly, he has started fixating on one window in our house, even when it's shut he barks at it.

But he is still so happy to see his people everyday. Lockdown was the best time of his life, his people at home all the time. But even that was fraught as he couldn't stop barking at noises.

I had my dog PTS quite a few years ago. I too went through the same thing. Had from a puppy, stranger and dog aggression, separation anxiety, anxiety every time she went outside that caused massive aggression issues, a couple of bites, medical issues, thousands of £ and hours spent on training and medication with little to no improvement. I lived constantly stressed and worried that she would hurt someone. She was a large active working breed, not one that can be kept as a house pet. I had a final behaviourist session with a veterinary behaviourist that came to me, she saw how stressed and unhappy the dog was and I struggled to give her any positives for me or the dog which made my mind up.

I felt guilty of course but it quickly faded to relief if I’m honest. I adored my dog and her me but I wouldn’t have her back even if I could. I have another dog now and it’s how it should be and it just makes me see how miserable my poor first dog must have been to have lived like that.

I was embarrassed telling people who asked where the dog was at first because I was worried people would think I was a rubbish owner but I had nothing but support from the majority of people and now years later I’m quite happy to talk about it as it’s not something that should be hidden or seen as a failure! Sometimes this happens, most trainers I went to said it’s often genetic (which is why I spout on and on about going to reputable breeders now even if it’s a pup!) and it’s not something that anyone has done wrong

Whatever you do please don’t hurt a family by rehoming it, that is the most irresponsible and selfish option by far.

If you cannot control it with such amount of care, intervention, medication and money thrown at solving the issue, what chance do its next family has when they don’t know about the aggressive background and may be far less experienced than you?

Put to sleep before someone was hurt, he may not be attacking people yet, but in these times when families see their dogs as kids, the trauma you can cause to a person seeing their dog being killed before their eyes is enormous.

You tried your best, put to sleep, it won’t get better.

I'm so sorry - it's clear you love your boy so much

However I agree that you should do him the ultimate kindness which is to have him PTS. He sounds horribly stressed and that will only be exacerbated by his health issues - you did an amazing thing by rescuing him but it sounds like the poor boy never really stood a chance.

Let him have an amazing few days with his family doing his favourite things and then let him go peacefully. He won't know what's happening and this way, you get to be with him until the very end.

Hugs to you ❤️

We managed a reactive ddog for 10 years. Was tbh hideous for all of us. Probably including ddog.
She was pts a year post cancer when a brain tumour was suspected and she attacked 2 of our ddogs and had a stand off with me. First time I was actually afraid of her.. Still feel guilty 2 years on. Betting most owners who sign that form feel it whatever the circumstances.. End your ddogs mental suffering op. It deserves a pain-free end with you holding it. May I suggest asking for sedation first? Quick jab in the thigh and we were left alone. Ddog was under before the final meds were in...
Very peaceful and emotional..
Sorry this is what it has come to for your family.. It isn't your fault remember that.

Ddog has been living with my parents the last few months as DH and Incan no longer be T home at the time as we have a 16m DS. It's affecting their quality of life, they can't both go out together without asking my sister to dogsit which interrupts her life too.

In theory he could live as indoor dog only but I keep thinking that's not really a life for a dog.

My dparents don't agree with PTS because they "manage" and his issues are because he is a dog. They are not really into dog training and can't really understand that ddog is stressed because when it's just them and the dog, the dog sleeps and barks. They see the behaviour as harmless but it means we can never go out with my parents and sister because someone always has to stay behind with the ddog. It's a huge burden.

We never rehomed because we knew he'd be passed around from family to family. At the time we had no children and a really reliable neighbour who was happy to have him. This was also before his dog aggression was at the level it is now. He's never been human aggressive. All the bites to me have been redirected bites separating him from dog fights. Now we have a toddler and no longer live near that neighbour.

Your dog has a very poor quality of life. He’s been through so much. It’s time to let him go.
I’ve had 2 dogs PTS both of whom were very old and on their last legs. It’s absolutely heartbreaking. However, a dog who’s bitten you more than once, and attacked other dogs, cannot be trusted.

What @villainousbroodmare said - option C. Your dog has no quality of life, and this isn't fair on him or you.

It sounds as if your parents don't really understand the situation. Could you get the vet behaviourist to give them a call so that they don't guilt you when you do what is the right thing for your dog?

As for anyone else who might ask, you can just say that the dog had multiple medical issues which were found to be intractable and he had suffered enough.

You have really tried. It sounds like a horrible situation.

I wonder if all the PTS advice would be the same if I shared his breed and size or would you tell me to suck it up.

I know in my heart if he was a different breed our behaviour vet would have recommended PTS a long time ago. Everyone treats his aggression and bites differently because he is a smaller breed. But I bled just the same when he bit me, he still has adult dog teeth and it hurt. I was wary of Ddog for a while after it happened.

In my heart I know PTS is the right answer but making that happen feels like planning a murder. I wish someone in my life would tell me it's ok and that it's the right choice

Whatever size a ddog can do serious damage. A woman was killed by a pack of dachshunds... My ddog was a Rottweiler... No time for second guessing having a stand off.. I put a chair between us. My heart was exploding. Mainly because I knew the time had come.

It doesn't matter the size of the dog. My mate has a 7kg dog who is an aggressive, fat, stressed and unpleasant mutt who doesn't stop barking and lives his life in permanent high dudgeon. He's bitten my dad, goes ballistic at anyone in a high bus, can't be left - ever, not even for five minutes - and is an over indulged brat. I'll be honest, I don't like him, I don't trust him and I think he needs a diet and medication. If my 30kg mutt had attacked like he did, he'd have been put to sleep a long time ago. I think small dogs get given a pass, but what about their MH? Their quality of life?

If he's a damaged dog, with no quality of life for him, no quality of life for the people he lives with, give it up.

Yes, it would be the same, small breeds have been known to cause damage, one mauled a baby to death in recent years (I can’t remember if it was a Yorkie or a Chihuahua, but it has happen)

Sounds like brain damage caused by his earliest weeks. It's a tough one. He sounds miserable.

You clearly love your dog, and know that your dog is unhappy and constantly stressed. You have spent three years (and a ton of money) trying to help your dog have a better quality of life. You now acknowledge that this isn't going to happen.

Give your dog a big cuddle (if he will allow it) and take him to the vet. Don't feel guilty - though of course I know you will anyway. You are doing the best thing for your poor unhappy dog as well as for your family.

And the advice from Edith to say to other people that he had medical issues that couldn't be resolved is good advice, not least because its true.

Poor dog. And poor you.

Definitely pts. No sensible rescue would take him on.