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The doghouse

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Original poster

Anyone ever rehomed 2 dogs?

27 replies

UpsetLady21 · 22/03/2022 19:00

Please try and keep judgment at bay. This isn’t a decision I want to make I am heartbroken and sobbing as I type this.

We have to small breed dogs from the same litter, 18 months old. They have been quite challenging from the start.

We recently had our DD who is our world but since this the dogs have been harder to care for as we’re adjusting to being parents and trying to train them whilst looking after a baby and DH has gone back to work is so difficult.

DH is getting annoyed as they are loud and still quite destructive, I am struggling daily taking care of them as they want lots of attention and whilst being a new mum and I’ve had to recover from a c section.

Just to point out they have never been aggressive with our baby whatsoever - this would be a completely different issue.

I feel guilty that I’m not giving them the attention they need as they want a lot and that I don’t have the time to train them 1-1 all day.

Has anyone ever revoked 2? Would they be split? I really don’t want to do this and would really not want them split as this would fill me with more guilt

But I don’t know if dogs trust would keep them together?

Again please don’t judge it’s just a thing we are considering as we are really struggling I don’t want to do this at all I feel sick with heartbreak. I don’t know anyone close to me who could take them and I just wish I did so that I’d know where they’d go.

OP posts:

fairylightsandwaxmelts · 22/03/2022 19:05

First off, I'm sorry you're struggling

However, I suspect the fact that you have littermates is part of the problem. Have you ever had a read up about littermate syndrome?

It may be for the best (for the dogs as well as you) to re-home one of them, or, if you feel you can't cope with either, to re-home them both separately via a reputable charity.

In the interim, could you hire a dog walker?

Happenchance · 22/03/2022 19:09

Has anyone ever revoked 2? Would they be split? I really don’t want to do this and would really not want them split as this would fill me with more guilt. It depends. They will assess them and decide if they should be re-homed separately or together. Because of their age and behavioural issues, it's probably best that they are separated, but the rescue may stipulate that they both have to go to a home with an existing dog. They'll probably find a new home quicker if they don't have to be adopted as a pair.

Ellmau · 22/03/2022 19:10

I think it will depend on if they appear to be a truly bonded pair to the staff, or if they feel they would adapt well to being separated.

Sorry you are going through this difficult decision, but it is better to rehome now whenthey are young and will be easy to rehome than in a few years.

If you get dogs again in the future when life is more manageable, littermates aren't generally the ideal choice.

Hoppinggreen · 22/03/2022 19:13

It is what it is so I’m not going to have a go at you but it was a bit of a recipe for disaster and I would question a breeder who let you have 2 litter mates
Added to this you have now had a baby too.
You should rehome, it’s the best thing for the dogs. They are quite young so hopefully will find good homes, they may well be better apart

Original poster

UpsetLady21 · 22/03/2022 19:16

Yes they definitely have littermate syndrome which we didn’t learn about until they were about 7/8 months old and we started seeing signs :(

They’re very reactive on walks which is another issue. Walking them while heavily pregnant was hard and whilst I recovered from surgery DH had to walk them alone for those 6 weeks as the midwife recommended due to them pulling hard on the lead and being so reactive

Part of me things splitting them up will do them good in the long run as they’re young still so would adapt to being apart but I feel so guilty for doing this I wish I would’ve known.

I wouldn’t know how to choose 1 to keep either which is our issue! And my worry is that when they’re split it’ll make them both extremely anxious as they’d be apart so that the new owners could get frustrated and give them back which I’d hate I feel sick with guilt right now :(

OP posts:

MrsWinters · 22/03/2022 19:17

Littermate syndrome. Speak to a behaviourist, you may be able to keep one, but they may do better in the long run being rehomed separately.
The breeder who sold them to you deserves a kicking.

Original poster

UpsetLady21 · 22/03/2022 19:17

Also I will definitely never get another dog again if I do this.

I couldn’t do this again.

OP posts:

KeepingAnOpenMind · 22/03/2022 19:18

I adopted 2 bichon siblings, Daisy and Doogie, who had sadly been given up twice by owners who had got pregnant. They were wonderful and my best companions, now sadly passed away.
I only wanted one dog but took them both as I didn’t want to split them up.
Please can people not get dogs when they are TTC as it is so awful to give them up. Have the children first and then think about getting a dog.
Having two dogs was a joy and easier than just one.

MrsWinters · 22/03/2022 19:18

What’s the breed? Is there a breed rescue? Maybe be upfront about the problem and ask them to take one. I’d let the rehomer pick then you don’t have to choose.

fairylightsandwaxmelts · 22/03/2022 19:18

It sounds like they desperately need to be split up and to go to separate, experienced homes so they can get the attention and training they desperately need.

BalladOfBarryAndFreda · 22/03/2022 19:20

Can’t you return them to the breeder? Any breeder worth their salt should be taking puppies back rather than seeing them put into the rescue system.

NiceTwin · 22/03/2022 19:20

What breed are they? Could you ho to breed rescue?

We had litter mates but were very, very lucky that we didn't have trouble with them

KeepingAnOpenMind · 22/03/2022 19:21

I doubt they “desperately need” to be split up. Maybe they just need to find the right home.
I’ve adopted siblings before and it has been wonderful. I miss them everyday.

Easterbunnyiswindowshopping · 22/03/2022 19:21

Toss a coin. Keep 1. Splitting them up is best for them. Dc and a ddog is great.

SirSniffsAlot · 22/03/2022 19:21

They honestly may be better off split up. It'll give each of them a fresh start to learn new behaviours, without the influence of the other. (You'd also be amazed how often dogs do much better then their owners think they will in new situations).

Don't feel guilty about that element. If you rehome then rehome to a good charity and trust them to do the right thing by both dogs.

Wideawakeandconfused · 22/03/2022 19:22

Can I ask if they are male and if they’ve been done? If not, I suggest making this a priority.

What breeds are they? You might have to rehome separately. We had issues with our litter brothers when they reached 14. We consider the same thing and would have placed one with my parents. We work through it and really had to work hard. They are 14 now and get on ok, they still fall out over food occasionally.

We had another dog too, and a baby so it is possible. You just need to do everything you can to make it work, as hard as it is. Divide and conquer; one of you looks after baby in the morning, the other walks they dogs for an hour. Same at lunch and dinner time.

fairylightsandwaxmelts · 22/03/2022 19:26

@BalladOfBarryAndFreda

Can’t you return them to the breeder? Any breeder worth their salt should be taking puppies back rather than seeing them put into the rescue system.

A reputable breeder would never have sold littermates in the first place.

fairylightsandwaxmelts · 22/03/2022 19:27

@KeepingAnOpenMind

I doubt they “desperately need” to be split up. Maybe they just need to find the right home. I’ve adopted siblings before and it has been wonderful. I miss them everyday.

Reactive siblings shouldn't be kept together - it's a recipe for disaster if they re-direct onto each other.

Yes, some littermates can be fine together but it's rare and generally not advisable to keep dogs from the same litter together.

MrsWinters · 22/03/2022 19:28

100% don’t have them neutered at the moment. Particularly if they are going to be split up. Littermate syndrome comes from lack of confidence and them developing a Co-dependancy. Testosterone is a confidence hormone- take that away and split them up is going to make things harder not easier

BalladOfBarryAndFreda · 22/03/2022 19:28

Well that’s true, @fairylightsandwaxmelts. Certainly not to someone inexperienced and without long discussions and being certain that they understand the potential complexities of socialisation.

NewJersey · 22/03/2022 19:34

I’d persevere. The newborn stage doesn’t last forever, you will be recovered from birth soon. Your husband needs to take responsibility not just get annoyed that they’re acting like puppies. What a dick. Get them trained and take responsibility. It’ll get easier but if you dump them, they may have more issues.

MuggleMadness · 22/03/2022 19:35

What breed are they?

@Wideawakeandconfused

Divide and conquer; one of you looks after baby in the morning, the other walks they dogs for an hour. Same at lunch and dinner time

Some people work, that's not exactly practical is it!

Original poster

UpsetLady21 · 22/03/2022 19:42

Both male, both were neutered at 1.

We realised the breeder was a bit of a dick in it just for the money when we went to pick them up and seen she’d bough a female puppy, a very popular breed that sells for a lot and she even expressed how she was gearing her up for breeding. Again we only pieced this together when we got them and only learned about littermate syndrome later on.

DD was a wonderful surprise so we weren’t even TTC @KeepingAnOpenMind we didn’t plan to have kids until way in the future.

DH’s parents are extremely dog people and would love one of them like a baby however they lost their dog last year so are still grieving and have expressed they would have one if they weren’t still so heartbroken from having to put down their dog

Thank you all for not judging. This is such a hard situation for me I have vomitied thinking about it I love the bones of these dogs. I just get guilt now if I’m doing the wrong thing by keeping them together and keeping them in our home when we aren’t the same people they came home to. We’re sleep deprived, trying to navigate being parents and juggle life in general we have some personal things going on to which I won’t mention but all of it together is adding up to be an extremely difficult situation to manage

OP posts:

SirSniffsAlot · 22/03/2022 19:42

It's worth noting that "littermate syndrome" (not a scientific term) has little or nothing to do with them being from the same litter and more to do with them just being the same age and brought up as a single unit. Bringing up two dogs of the same age without understanding the specific needs of them and how to do so to encourage healthy focus on the humans and discourage unhealthy levels of bonds between them, is key. These dogs sound like they may not have had that and therefore may do better apart (a professional would have to see and assess), but this is because they will have been brought up as a single unit, not because they share the same genetics.

This needs clarifying (imo) because to call it littermate syndrome risks people thinking this challenge magically goes away if they get two same-age puppies from different litters. It doesn't.

Conversely, also risks people thinking littermates should never be brought up together when a great many are and develop into healthy, happy dogs - often by people who really know and/or work dogs and so have clarity on what's needed here.

Original poster

UpsetLady21 · 22/03/2022 19:44

@Wideawakeandconfused while I appreciate this, DH does a lot he walks early in the morning then goes to work. He gets in at 6 and I walk them then so we do divide the jobs but it is hard in the day when I am alone with dogs and baby if the baby is feeding and the dogs are scratching at the back door etc

Most days DH has done all walks as if the baby is feeding I have to continue feeding her, I can’t pause it to walk the dogs if she is hungry

OP posts:

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