What just happened?!

[3AndADog]

My 10yr old DS arrived home with his friend and my people loving excitable playful cockapoo (9mo) stood up and started growling and barking at him. The poor boy loves dogs and she wouldn’t let him anywhere near her. We calmed her down and he approached her again and she started up again with fierce growling and we have now separated them.
I’m a bit freaked out tbh.

@Cherrypies sorry St. Bernard not Bernese! Insufficient caffeine levels this morning. Lovely muzzle. Red and white Irish setters are so rare now I wondered if every single one left was at crufts yesterday.

One of my dogs doesn’t like pubescent boys. Fine with older teens and men and fine with all females.

My dog is also funny with pubescent boys. I think part of it is the sound of breaking voices, she was a bit barky with DS when his voice was breaking especially when he laughed.
Although she’s initially weary of them she gets over it.

Did he have glasses on or a hat ?
My dog is nervous anyway but once reacted to a child that in my dogs head had appeared out of nowhere . I had seen the child arrive and was behind him and climb on equipment but the dog hadn’t and got a fright and then reacted . He is generally ok with children otherwise.

My lovely old flat coat only ever took against someone once in his entire life - it was a vicar sitting in the park, it was very strange.

The same thing just happened again! A friend, who has been round countless times to a very excitable and welcoming doggy, just popped by to drop something off and the dog went crazy, howling and barking and growling at her. She hasn’t seen her for a few weeks but In the past she’s been round every few weeks since we brought the dog home. On this occasion I led her away to her safe space- her bed - and when she started to calm down I fed her lots of treats while Chatting to my friend at a distance, then after a few more sporadic barks and growls she went over for a very cautious sniff and seemed to calm down a bit. Unfortunately my friend had to dash off so I don’t know how it would have played out but she’s coming over with her two kids on Friday so I’m hoping we don’t get a repeat. It’s scary and I’m worried about what it means.

@3AndADog

The same thing just happened again! A friend, who has been round countless times to a very excitable and welcoming doggy, just popped by to drop something off and the dog went crazy, howling and barking and growling at her. She hasn’t seen her for a few weeks but In the past she’s been round every few weeks since we brought the dog home. On this occasion I led her away to her safe space- her bed - and when she started to calm down I fed her lots of treats while Chatting to my friend at a distance, then after a few more sporadic barks and growls she went over for a very cautious sniff and seemed to calm down a bit. Unfortunately my friend had to dash off so I don’t know how it would have played out but she’s coming over with her two kids on Friday so I’m hoping we don’t get a repeat. It’s scary and I’m worried about what it means.

I really wouldn't have your friends and her kids around on Friday.

Has your dog had a recent vet check?

Stop having all the visitors!

Or at least have her out of the way. She has shown she was uncomfortable and then she has been put in the same situation again. The more opportunities she has to practise the behaviour or be put in a situation when she has to react the worse it will get.

I agree vet check and contact a good qualified behaviourist to create a plan that can help her overcome her fear.

In the meantime prevent interactions with people coming into the house to give her time to decompress. This can take up to 72 hours after each incident. I would also imagine she is feeling pretty anxious generally so more calm, more sleep, chewy foods and calm sniffy quiet walks.

Google secondary fear period.
Take it back a step. Don’t have them round for now.
Continue the socialisation outside the home. Let her see and experience new things at her pace.

Ok this is pretty much impossible. We live in a small place, family pop in and out all the time. We have builders coming and going constantly - its been like this for her entire 7 months with us and we have never had a problem. And the kids need to see their friends.

As for keeping her somewhere separate - she won't leave my side. I suspect we are dealing with a much bigger problem here but I feel very overwhelmed. She goes to day care twice a week as I have to go to work and I can't leave her home alone - she's due to go Thursday and Friday this week. I don't know whether I should but there's not really another option. I thought maybe the friends could come with us to collect her on Friday so they wouldn't be entering the house with her inside, if that might make a difference?

What would a vet check be looking for? I feel like she's always at the vet, she's eaten lots of random found objects and more recently had a respiratory infection. she doesn't appear to be in any pain and its really only visitors to the house that is causing this issue. Although today a tradesman came to the house while we were playing in the garden, he came around the back and she wasn't remotely bothered.

I live somewhere that I would have to find a remote behaviourist to consult via zoom or something. Is that going to be possible?

The last time a vet looked at her was about ten days ago because I was worried about a lump on her shoulder - apparently a scar tissue from her recent anti biotic injections

If your dog is growling at people you need to listen. Stop putting it in that position or it may bite.
Won’t leave your side? Separation anxiety?
Dog training advice and support on FB with sally Bradbury can help.

She definitely has separation anxiety, we are working on that with a trainer. Lots of Door is a Bore and Mat settle training. Taking it really slow. I don't ever leave her alone more than 30 seconds.

Don't get me wrong - the growling I am taking very seriously - but I honestly can't prevent people coming to the house. We have building work that needs to be completed and so they will be coming and going. I'll call the vet but as I said I'm not really sure what they would be looking for, and also I can't see a behaviourist it would need to be done remotely. I'm finding this hard as literally a week ago she was bounding all over our friends and family as they reached the door.

Have you had a look at fear periods?
My first was bloody anxious. Total nightmare. We took things so slowly. Lots of watching things from a distance.
That FB group is run by behaviourists. Remember dog is just a pup.

If things dont change her behaviour will not change.

She is already an anxious dog. No calm relaxed dog has SA. Her life is pretty stressful will all that is going on. More calm needs to be added into her life.

Very few trainers are qualified to deal with SA. The flitting method or door is a bore is very old school and behaviourists have moved on from this method. Flitting actually increases a dog with SA anxiety. Imagine your dog is spending the whole day concerned if you are leaving or not.

So you have an anxious dog who then has more stress to deal with when visitors arrive.

There may be nothing wrong but pain, allergies any physical discomfort can add to a dogs stress levels and your dog is very stressed.

A qualified behaviourist will be able to see what changes can be made and help you make them in your current situation. Behaviour work is fab over zoom and many behaviourists prefer to work that way so that is not a problem.

The fb page is not run by behaviourists!

ok thank you @PollyRoulllson. I'll call the vet tomorrow. She is stressed, I know she is, always on high alert and never fully relaxed unless the house is quiet and I'm relaxing too. Or if she's home with only one other adult, either my mum or DH. She does seem to have, in the past, absolutely loved people though. And she loves other dogs, and her beach/cliff walks. She bounds around like the happiest dog on the planet, greeting other dogs politely, playing outrageously with them if they are another poodle cross, and running up and playing with people too. She seems more anxious at home, which makes me sad. I provide lots of calming licks mats, chews etc as our trainer said the same thing as you - to lower her general cortisol levels and try to maintain a level of calm.
Yes we have a busy life, but we chose the dog and breeder because we know several other families with equally busy lives and all recommended them as being confident, happy family dogs. I feel like we have failed her.
Can you recommend a behaviourist that would work remotely with us? I'm dreading tomorrow as we have a joiner coming and the work on the house has had a bit of a break so its been over a week since she's seen any of them.

That group is awesome. “Set up by small group of behaviourists and trainers” @PollyRoulllson

I find the group a little overwhelming tbh but I am on it all the time looking stuff up.

This morning our tradesman arrived and she greeted him with one bark then a very waggy sniffy hello! The main difference I can see is that on the two occasions she’s growled, the visitor has arrived while she’s been sleepy or curled up with me.

So maybe she was startled?

Does she have direct access to front door? Maybe she is starting to feel like the keeper of the door and that she decides who gets in. Keep her further back behind a gate maybe so she can see it’s your decision not hers. With children coming to the house we found our dog was way too over excited and jumping up trying to lick the kids which wasn’t good at all. And the kids seemed to match the excitement making it worse. I found a few dog savvy kids and tried telling them to ignore her completely. And they did a great job of that. She was a lot calmer. And also if she was sitting calmly enough next to them they could pet her but in such a way that they don’t find her interesting at all just a little tickle under the chin while watching tv or chatting and not to bother looking at her too much, just act like she is quite boring. It’s quite a lot to ask of kids. But this approach was much better. I know it’s not over excitement that is the problem for you but it may be the way the kids act that is worrying her. Try telling the kids that we really don’t want dog to think she is super important and we are working on kind of ignoring her a lot which encourages calmness. And that may help reduce any heightened tensions?

I have her on a lead though so she can’t pester kids too much with jumping up

A behaviourist is a good way forward.

My cocker could be like this and I took to meeting friends outside with him, going for very quick walk and then coming into the house together. This seemed to reset his sense of territory I think..when people came in and he already occupied the space he was a different dog (nervous and barky) compared to when we all entered together.

You could also try having her outside in the garden before your guests come in and then letting her in after.

But yes be a bit careful now and monitor her, especially with children. You may need to have her separate from guests for a while if you're not confident of her and a behaviourist will advise.

Resource guarding?

I’m waiting for a call back from the vet with an appointment so I can get a referral. In the meantime I’ll restrict visitors - I don’t feel as though she is close to hurting anyone but I’ll keep life calm for her sake for the time being.
I had wondered if she was guarding me. She is very hyper attached to me.