Overwhelmed with training, I need a plan!

[3AndADog]

I am a first time owner and lovely cockapoo pup (I know, I know) is coming up to 9 months. I am aware she is a mad teenager but I'm finding it all so overwhelming at the moment and I don't know how much I should be doing with her and when. I keep seeing on here to do small bits of training each day, and to up the training doing adolescence, but I don't really know how to timetable it all in so everything gets addressed and with consistency. For example, if I have 10 things I want to work on do I need to do some training for each of those things every day? The list is endless! Is there a book out there (preferably a book - I find endless YouTube videos overwhelming and I lose focus) with a definitive plan in, daily tick list or something? We have had a trainer in, but again its lots of tips here and there but I just don't feel like we're doing enough or with enough consistency. We really want to train positively but everyone I meet with beautifully behaved dogs admits to hitting them on the nose or some other horrible 'techniques' (other than the trainer of course, but then I felt I was just handing out treats as distraction everytime she did something undesirable)

Things I need to work on are

• separation/alone time. I am working on Door is a Bore as she's very hyper attached to me.

-Jumping up at table and stealing objects - nightmare, never managed to crack this one.

-Settle on a mat/stay put - can barely get to 30 seconds

-Jumping up at people

-Barking at window in the dark

-Biting/hanging onto clothing, especially me or my youngest (5yo) who dances non stop all day very dramatically so I think the dog thinks she's permanently game for a rough and tumble. Always need a treat to get her to let go.

-lunging at other dogs on a lead (wanting to play)

-General obsessiveness over other dogs and wanting to rough play ALL THE TIME if there is another dog with us. Cheese can distract her 50% of the time - just not good enough. She gets very over aroused when playing with other dogs, very growly and persistent but I am fairly confident it's play not aggression as she will often calm down for a minute before going back for more and the other dogs usually comes back for more. This tends to only happen with other dogs of similar size.

-Leave it- she just can't help herself taking anything new and interesting in her mouth and won't give it up without a treat (always exchange for a treat as don't want to risk resource guarding)

-Loose lead walking - we usually drive to an off lead walk so this gets forgotten but I'd love to be able to walk the school run with her. She's ok 50% of the time but she's very eager to be one step ahead!)

Off lead walks are lovely, she is brilliant at staying close and her recall is mostly fab - BUT how do I practise recall with other dogs around, without her going off and playing with other dogs? I mean, she's wonderful at coming back to me with any distraction other than another dog. How do I get past that? Surely I need her to be off lead and in the situation to practise it, but once in the situation she's potentially pissing off other dog owners, and totally and utterly distracted and so not actually getting anywhere with training (does that make sense?) I always put her on a lead if I see a dog on a lead, but then she will lunges at them and I end up pulling her past (she's in a perfect fit harness)

I am aware of breeding concerns with cockapoos, I've read all the threads on here, but I really thought I'd found a good breeder with personal recommendations, and I had no concerns. I know 3 other dogs from the same breeder and they are all delightful, calm, confident and easygoing pups, no sign anxiety in any of them.

I just feel so overwhelmed with it all. So many things to work on and I just want it to be black and white, which I know it isn't. I am aware I sound inexperienced and naive - I certainly didn't walk into this blindly but I'm just going through a bit of a tough phase and I can't see the wood for the trees. She just seems to be quite a highly strung little thing and its exhausting.

Thanks in advance.

This all sounds quite familiar to us. I think these things take time and perseverance. Has she had first season? I have spoken to a few owners who say this called them down quite a bit and we also found that.

Jumping up and counter surfing are very difficult to manage I find. I know some very lovely well behaved dogs who still jump up on people!

No, not yet. I had wondered if it was coming as she does seem even more highly strung than usual. No physical signs yet though. How old is your puppy?

13 months. We had first season at 9 months. She was a little calmer and less interested in other dogs after.

hmm interesting. fingers crossed!

I doubt it will be a complete change for you but it does mark less puppylike behaviour I think. Maybe keep reminding yourself what is going well with training. I often get overwhelmed and upset with training going wrong but then we have come quite a good way with certain aspects I find it is helpful to remember that.

Get a diary. I find for me it really helps focus the mind, but also reflect on what we’ve worked on and identify what the sticking points might have been-and then I plan that in for the next session.
I then mark off over the month each exercise to make sure I am getting a balance of obedience and steadiness.
Get a longline for when she’s off the lead and get her back before she joins another dog-if she can self-reward by going to play you’ll never be able to train her to come back.
I’d train the leave it inside first, get some slippers or something she loves- and stop her before she picks up the item- at the moment using the treat you are teaching her to pick it up to swap it for a treat.

Can you go to some lessons?
This has helped me so much, we have homework and get to practise being around other dogs in a safe environment.

Separation - practise flitting (easy peasy puppy book is fab!!) it will take time

Jumping up - leave nothing accessible then it stops being a game

Settle - again see easy peasy book

Jumping up at people - don’t let her, if you have guests get them to turn there back and pay no attention until she’s calm and settled

Loose lead walking again see easy peasy book which should help with other issues you mention too.

What helped me is when my trainer said they aren’t babies they need to know what’s right and wrong with consistency (which is sooo hard with busy lives and little ones)

Is she crate trained? Or do you have somewhere she can go to have quiet time?

Some of the behaviours you mention could be because she’s overstimulated and tired

Also join us on the puppy survival thread. I know she’s 9 months but I don’t think any dog ever grows up

Thanks for the replies. I'll definitely get myself a diary, I've actually ordered the Easy Peasy diary that goes with the book.

She's definitely over stimulated a lot of the time and although sleeps in her crate at night, we never managed to crack the daytimes. So on a quiet day at home she's great but once all the kids get in from school she doesn't really have space to get away from them (ultimately she will have another two rooms to go in but we're having some building work and at the moment she has to stay in the kitchen/lounge where all the action is)

I'm convinced she's coming into heat. All of a sudden the last few days she's been soooo sleepy (which is why I've forgotten to come back on this thread!) and cuddly, lovely really but very out of character!

We had a miniature poodle who did all the things you mentioned... He calmed down when he turned 16 😂

But we were terribly inexperienced first-time owners and very bad at training him, so him being very smart, he knew he was the boss of us

I’m in the same boat. All the same issues. Plus some more.

Been there with my mini poodle, she's 3 now and has calmed in many ways but still has her moments. When she was going totally nuts I'd snuggle her in tight to my side on the sofa and she would often fall asleep as she was just over tired. In the evening she gets a bit mad so we make sure there's always chews lying around, when she's over aroused she needs to chew. If there's nothing to chew she'd be jumping up at us. This was a game changer as evenings were hard.

She has a set routine and likes it, she knows when son comes home from school that she gets a stuffed kong and that keeps her busy as she's v excited when son comes home.

She still jumps up at people but the only people she really gets near off lead are my family and they are all doggy people and used to her nonsense. If I let her off lead it's only in places where I know there's no people around (rural).

She's calmed a lot since her teenage days, where I considered sending her back to the breeder. It was only thoughts in my head, during the most difficult and tiresome times. But we did our best and persevered.

Very little advice I read worked, which was what frustrated me. Leaving room and coming back in, turning our backs on her, it did nothing.

Lots of kongs, chews and seeing my family daily after our walks (she loves to socialise!) tires her out to a good level.

Covid hit the week before we had an appointment with a trainer so we never actually saw one apart from when she was a tiny pup.

I hope you get some good advice here. I couldn't go through it all again but I'm really glad I did with her, as she's a really brilliant playmate for our son now that she's stopped nipping.

Oh yeah, she steals anything that lies on the stairs. Usually clothes, and takes them out to the garden if the door is open. And regularly steals son's soft toys. We find it funny and he loves chasing her to get his things back.

I found Absolute Dogs online. They have lots of badges you can sign up to. Maybe start with calm or boundaries. Sexier than a squirrel is a good one. It is delivered in daily snippets. Can also download book/ timetable. They are so positive and really worth the money