How to help a terrified dog?

[ChaosMoon]

I've had several dogs, as rescues and from puppy-hood, although we don't have one now. I'd consider myself quite an experienced, capable dog person but I am at a loss as to how to deal with my mum's current rescue.

She got him just after my DD was born, when he was 2 years old. He lived at a breeding kennel (maybe a puppy farm) before then. They got rid of him when they discovered a health problem that meant they couldn't breed from him.

Nearly 3 years on, he's still terrified of everyone and everything except my mum (and he regularly has bad days with her). And I don't mean nervous, I really do mean freaking out terrified, at evey noise or movement.

We lived with them for 3 months last year and made zero progress. We regularly look after him for a week at a time, but he still freaks out if we walk into the room, pick up our coffee from the table, eat our dinner, talk to each other, etc, etc... The only time it's different is when we're out on a walk, but the second he has to come into the garden/house then he's terrified again.

My heart breaks for him but it's absolutely exhausting trying to literally tiptoe round him all the time. I can't keep it up.

Has anyone had any sucess with a dog like this?

See a vet behaviourist - they can discuss the way forward which may include medication which can make a huge difference to some dogs.

DM has in theory seen one, but I'm not convinced by the behaviourist part of their credentials. They were only interested in prescribing meds, and nothing they tried worked. (Though I appreciate that they do for some.)

She's in the process of moving house and will try again once she had a new very to get a recommendation from. I was just wondering whether anyone else had been through this.

Rescue remedy? Holland and Barret.. The woman told me they sell more for ddogs than for humans at our shop!

I'll check whether that's ones of the ones DM has already tired. Thank you.
My house is currently full of plugins, plus he's wearing a stress relief collar and he's still freaking out.

I’m sorry OP but I think at some point you may need to consider PTS, although you might not be there just yet
Not because he is a danger or inconvenient or anything but it sounds like an awful way for him to live

A dog living in this much terror is awful. If prescription meds haven't helped him, he's obviously very traumatised..

What does the vet say?

My sister rescued a dog who had a tough start. The breed and circumstances meant the dog was impossible to rehabilitate. They tried everything for three years and spent ££££s. They then looked at rehoming but no one could take her on. Sadly she was pts. It was absolutely traumatic for everyone involved.

Dorwest Scullcap and Valarian helped my scared dog no end. Poor dog. He needs time out for his cortisol to drop, you won't get anywhere while he is on high alert.

Oh gosh, having him PTS would break my mum's heart. I really really hope it doesn't come to that. He is happy when it's just the 2 of them, but my mum's a social butterfly and she's moving because she wants to be nearer friends and family.

Thank you for the medication / supplement recommendations. I've passed them on to her and she'll try them again if needs be.

The vet hadn't been overly helpful, but she'll be changing them soon.

In terms of trauma, he lived in a kennels until he was two. I think he only really had dog company, except when people came in to feed him or examine him (for health issues) or to walk him on the lead. What his treatment was like from those people I don't know, but even if they didn't physically hurt him, it was dispassionate enough that he never learned how to be comfortable with people.

@Hoppinggreen

I’m sorry OP but I think at some point you may need to consider PTS, although you might not be there just yet Not because he is a danger or inconvenient or anything but it sounds like an awful way for him to live

This was my first thought when I read your post OP.

This level of fear on a day to day basis must be a terrible way for him to live and though, as you say, it would break your DM's heart, pts might be the kindest thing she can do for him.

Owners who have to have their dog pts because of physical illness are frequently heart broken but sometimes it's the only, kindest thing to do.

I would use the house move as a perfect opportunity to wind everything back to day one.

Buy a large create to use as a safe place, door open with the door facing a wall/corner. Make it basic but cosy, cover the top with an old duvet so it’s dark and put it in a quiet space. I used the kitchen, she could still hear me wandering about without TV and phone noise but it was totally her choice to come out and engage which she didn’t do for a long time unless to go out to toilet. I timed her like you would with a puppy, left the back door open for her to pop out and scurry back to her safe place.

Restrict house visitors really strictly for at least a week. If not possible, shut the room door - not the cage and leave him be.

I spent some time in the first week sitting by the crate, I’d read or talk to her, quietly play the radio for her, give her treats through the bars. Scrap thoughts about taking him for a walk etc just let him learn to understand he is safe and things are on his terms.

I remember one evening after many weeks of very little contact where she just wandered in to the living room and looked at me. I ignored her and she ended up settling on the floor by the sofa. That’s when I bought her a bed and put it in the corner next to my chair in the living room.

After a few weeks she jumped up on the sofa and put her head on my lap

I moved her safe crate in to a corner of the lounge so she had a choice, she nearly always chose her spot on the sofa until I went to bed where she settled in her crate.
I never ever closed the door on the crate. It took a lot of time and patience and I put my life on hold to help her for a good few months but it was very worth it.

Not saying it would work for every dog and my girl was completely shut down when she came to me, she had given up and was very sad and then she turned in to a different dog, it was so lovely and totally worth it.

Ah, @LostForWords2021 that really made me smile. You're story sounds very much like my approach with my last rescue, who had been horribly abused. Isn't it the most wonderful feeling when they finally come to you for love? 😍

I think you're right about treating this as a new start and going back to basics again. And reintroducing the crate. She stopped using it because he stopped going in it at her house (and all our houses are tiny) so it seemed a waste of time. But if she can reintroduce it as a safe space then we can use it when he comes here or to other people's houses. Hopefully.

He really is happy when it's just the two of them or if he's out in the woods. It's just that mum can't live like that forever.