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The doghouse

If you're worried about your pet's health, please speak to a vet or qualified professional.

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Original poster

Partner's dog

18 replies

depechegal · 13/02/2022 14:40

Hello all.
I am at my wit's end with my partner's dog. He adopted it after his aunt died last year.
The dog is a toy poodle aged 15, completely unhouse trained. We've tried newspaper, puppy pads, everything. We tell him no when we catch him. I'm absolutely fed up of treading in dog shit in the night. The house smells, the carpet reeks of pee. He just does it wherever he fancies, except his bed.
He's fed, has access to the garden and walked every day.

He constantly paces around in circles in rooms, never settles unless my partner is around (we don't live together)and has a horrible habit of tripping me over. He refuses to play, with anything, he likes a bone though.The separation anxiety is awful. It breaks my heart because there's nothing I can do for him when my partner isn't here. We took him to our local pub last night and he peed on the carpet in there too.

Is there such a thing as doggy dementia? We've tried training him and he just doesn't understand

OP posts:

ChardonnaysPetDragon · 13/02/2022 14:43

He's 15 and chances are he does have doggie dementia. Surely he was housetrained to start with and this is something new?

Original poster

depechegal · 13/02/2022 14:55

He was trained as a puppy but his aunt was very lax with with the dog. Never got walked, never been socialised. There was doggy doors installed but doggo never used them. When we was clearing out aunt's house last year, her bed was soaked with urine.
Sometimes he just pees right in front of me!

OP posts:

IsItTooHotInHere · 13/02/2022 14:57

Dogs can get Dementia. (cats too, I had a cat with it). The best bet would be to talk to a vet about the dog's behaviour

ChardonnaysPetDragon · 13/02/2022 14:58

It appears he's never been tried properly, and you definitely won't be able to train him at his age now.

Original poster

depechegal · 13/02/2022 15:08

The positive is that he's great on the lead. I wouldn't trust him off lead as he's never been socialised. We took him round partner's sister's at Xmas, she has a 3yr bulldog who wants to PLAY and our dog just panicked and growled and pooed on her carpet.
We've had to decline invites out as we can't leave him too long with the separation anxiety. The neighbours have been complaining about the incessant whining and barking.
I'm not a dog owner and partner never asked me if it was ok. Cat owner myself.
I just feel that we gave him a home and dog just uses it as his own personal toilet.
Sometimes when I'm on my own with him, he's endlessly pacing, you can see the dog physically shaking with nerves. He does seem to be better in the daytime though

OP posts:

ThisisMax · 13/02/2022 15:45

I think you can train him but you have to start as if he was a puppy. Your biggest mistake might be not having him crate trained. If he is crate trained you have a safe base from where you can control him. Slowly crate train and then feed only at given times so that you can let out after he has woken, eaten etc. This gets him in the cycle of toileting after being let out. I would not socialise like you have done- its way too full on particularly for an older dog. Always outside, always on lead with brief hellos for a few seconds then away again.

Original poster

depechegal · 13/02/2022 15:56

No he's never been in a crate.
I'm thinking he would cry all the time as he's so fixated on my partner. He can't even bear being in a different room, or the doors closed.

OP posts:

user468375484 · 13/02/2022 15:58

He's 15 - which is about 95 in human years, for a toy poodle. I don't know many fully continent 95 year olds. Doggy dementia is a real thing. I'm afraid this is probably just a question of finding coping mechanisms (hard flooring, for instance) rather than being able to train it out of the dog.

fairylightsandwaxmelts · 13/02/2022 16:01

I wouldn't be trying to stress him out by attempting toilet training - instead, I would actually be looking at his quality of life and thinking about whether having him PTS may be the kindest option at this stage.

He's 15 years old, incontinent and, by the sounds of things, suffering from doggy dementia (circling, pacing and confusion are all signs). What quality of life does he have left at this point, honestly?

Original poster

depechegal · 13/02/2022 17:00

Yes I'll suggest that. I didn't know there was such a thing as doggy dementia. I've had a Google and everything fits together. Thanks

OP posts:

fairylightsandwaxmelts · 13/02/2022 17:03

Good luck.

I would suggest a vet check to your partner and you may well find the vet suggests the option of having the dog PTS. There comes a point where it's cruel to keep a dog going - a 15yo dog that's incontinent and struggling with dementia won't have a great quality of life.

gunnersgold · 13/02/2022 17:17

I don't think it's a training issue , it's a very old dog . That's what they do when they are old . It won't live much longer to be honest so I guess you will just have to live with it . Def worth speaking to the vet though

Motorina · 13/02/2022 17:45

I think your choices are

Live with it
Make it your partner’s problem. You don’t live together; the dog can go to his.
PTS.

In an old dog, clearly distressed, having lost the human he loved most, I’d PTS. No question. I think it’s the kindest for him.

AwkwardPaws27 · 13/02/2022 18:08

We tell him no when we catch him

This won't help - just clean up any accidents without a fuss. Saying no or punishing him will just increase his anxiety, making him more likely to toilet & to find places to toilet where you can't see him.

Treat him like an untrained puppy - take out for a wee every hour, after waking up, after eating etc.

Puppy pads can create confusion, it can create an association with toileting on a soft surface so dogs may then toilet on other soft surfaces like rugs, carpets etc. They are find for managing incontinence but not great as a house training tool.

Original poster

depechegal · 13/02/2022 18:25

Thanks all for your input. I've been googling about doggy dementia and an article came up about sundowners. This is our dog to a tee. He'll happily sleep all day then when the sun goes down, that's when the pacing, aimless wandering and separation anxiety really kicks in. He definitely was a lot better last summer with the lighter nights.
I'll suggest a vet

OP posts:

MimsyBorogroves · 13/02/2022 18:33

Dementia.

Sadly, I had my old dog put down at 15 for all these reasons. She just wasn't getting anything out of living, and I felt I was keeping her alive for me.

collieresponder88 · 13/02/2022 18:39

@Motorina

I think your choices are

Live with it
Make it your partner’s problem. You don’t live together; the dog can go to his.
PTS.

In an old dog, clearly distressed, having lost the human he loved most, I’d PTS. No question. I think it’s the kindest for him.

I think that's best too. The poor dog is suffering do the kindest thing for it and let him go

ThisisMax · 13/02/2022 18:44

@depechegal

No he's never been in a crate. I'm thinking he would cry all the time as he's so fixated on my partner. He can't even bear being in a different room, or the doors closed.

Sorry, I missed that the pacing was an issue so my advice is out of whack completely. Sorry. Agree with posters saying a vet consult would be best.

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