Does your dog ever make you feel suffocated/stressed

[Roadhouse111]

Disclaimer, I love the very bones of Ddog, please do not doubt this.

She is 8 months old, a show cocker so full of beans and energy, and love.
I WFH and she's my constant companion and shadow but at the moment I am feeling so overwhelmed by her need for attention. She doesn't follow my DH or the kids around, she follows me, has to be in the same room as me, we Got through the early puppy phase and I felt like she was starting to settle down, but she's started barking at me, constantly jumping up at me when I'm trying to work.
She gets a 25/40 mins off lead sniffy walk every morning, then another 30 mins when I finish work around 3, I train her on my breaks so we play fetch, do brain games etc.
She has lots of toys and plenty of things to chew, but she's just always there looking for something. I give her lots of attention and affection, maybe too much?

Is this the notorious adolescent phase?
She used to sleep during the day but she just won't settle at all, should I put her in a different room away from me?
She's great at bring left by herself and goes to daycare once a week, lots of off lead walks at the weekends at the forest and beach, she is literally living her best life.
Thanks for reading, first time dog owner here, so used to my cat not being all that interested in me, the Extreme loyalty can feel a bit OTT.

Know you aren’t alone

I’ve been there. You have to be strong and just completely ignore them

I remember saying to my dh why is she so settled with you and it’s because when he’s working he just switches off and she knows there is no point hassling him

Where as I was on edge almost waiting for her to hassle me I think I generally interacted with her too, so hard as she’s adorable!

So toys away (otherwise she’d start playing with them instead), bar one chew toy. Boring room, cosy bed regular toilet trips but other than that just keep ignoring. Could use kong or lick mat to encourage initial settling if she likes those things.
She now knows once my laptops on it’s sleep time til I get up

Thanks LilliPuttLane for the empathy, it has the feeling of how I was when the kids were small, almost touched out and like my brain doesn't have the headspace for trying to figure out what she wants.
She's such a funny, smart and happy wee dog, but I am finding it a slog, in a different way to puppyhood, which really wasn't that long ago.
I will try to ignore her and make the room boring, I do feel she really should be wore out after her walk as she literally gallops, and we play fetch during the walk too.
Maybe I have just adopted the most hyper cocker spaniel known to man

I think they are definitely a hard breed to get to switch off but once you crack it, it’s much easier!
I work from home and I enjoy doing training on my breaks. Some useful things I found were the mission control book lots of fun things to teach and different ways to teach depending on your style. We do a few training sessions throughout the day I work on different things each week. This week I used a folded towel and taught her to go away to that and lay down using a clicker to reward the right action. Keeps her busy and a bit of fun for us both. For mine mental stimulation tires her out far more than any walk would
Also make sure you take time for yourself it’s just like having dc haha

Yes
I was literally just crying on my dad about this today
We have a 9 month old rescue pup who is much bigger and bouncier than I had anticipated. I often regret having him. I thought we had thought it through but I think it's like having a baby you can never fully 'get it' until you are there.
We thought he'd be OK with 2 long walks a day and DH wfh and being with him but we just employed a dog walker to do an extra lunchtime walk because he is so unsettled all afternoon up and down wanting to go in and out and to play and if we ignore him he whines and barks and scrabbled and I am terrified of getting complaints from the neighbours.
Daycare would be ideal but there are no places locally and he's not neutered yet (vet says he shouldn't be until at least a year better 18 months) so a lot of places and walkers won't have him.

It's exactly like having a toddler. I have to worry constantly about where he is and what he might be getting up to (he has chewed up loads of stuff in our house and the garden looks like the Somme from his digging) and make sure he has his walks, naps and meals at the right times to avoid disaster. We can't do anything spontaneously any more because we have to factor in dog sitting. I haven't even tried to leave him for any substantial time because he can't even stay in a different room from us for more than 10 mins and he cries and whines and howls if anyone leaves the house even if the rest of us are still here.

Some friends and family won't come round because of dog allergies or fears. Even people who like dogs usually have their own and the two other dogs in the family don't like him and tell him off (he likes them) so now I can't see my sister or my MIL very easily

All in all I think we made a huge mistake but it would be wrong to give him back so we soldier on.

I will be ordering that book LilliPuttLane thank you, I definitely think she tires more from mental stimulation. It's definitely like having young dc, and I do go round in circles thinking why have I done this to myself, really hopeful that she will settle onto my routine soon and not be so needy from me.

CovoidOfAllHumanity you poor thing, I do often regret my decision to get a dog, then I look at her face and I swear my heart leaps, it's very conflicting isn't it, and they know how to press your buttons.
I hope things get better for you too and you're right, we prepped for a dog for years, but the reality of it can smack you up the face. Then I read about people saying dogs can be therapy for people with anxiety etc and think well my dog just causes me to have anxiety, so what am I doing wrong?!
She is so well cared for, adored I'm every way but she does not make me feel calm in the way my cats do.

Oh my goodness, OP not only could I have written this post, but I actually nearly did, this very morning.
8 month old working cocker here, and it's been unbearable at times over the last few days. Love her to bits, but she's more intense than ever right now. I'm assuming it's a combination of adolescence and possibly brewing up to her first season.
But I empathise 100%. And yes; it's just me. Not DH. Not DC. Just me.

@Roadhouse111

Thanks LilliPuttLane for the empathy, it has the feeling of how I was when the kids were small, almost touched out and like my brain doesn't have the headspace for trying to figure out what she wants. She's such a funny, smart and happy wee dog, but I am finding it a slog, in a different way to puppyhood, which really wasn't that long ago. I will try to ignore her and make the room boring, I do feel she really should be wore out after her walk as she literally gallops, and we play fetch during the walk too. Maybe I have just adopted the most hyper cocker spaniel known to man

And GOD YES to feeling touched out. Totally sensory overload, and I also have young kids, one of whom is still climbing on me all the time.

I wfh too, and after her morning walk, I work upstairs for three hours. Always have done. She settles in the kitchen with classic fm on, and it is a welcome break each day!!

I love my dog to death, but when someone else takes her out for a walk I love it ! Not having to feel guilty at ignoring her constant need for attention/play.

@Roadhouse111 has she had her first season yet? My spaniel became really clingy and demanding just before she came into season. She was 8.5 months. It is another phase, it will pass and she'll be your lovely dog soon.

You have my sympathy, the puppy phase can be tough! They need so much attention at that age.
I am at the other end of the scale as my dog is 11. He is almost completely deaf now and that has caused a bit of separation anxiety in him (understandably). But he is practically glued to my side all the time. He needs to know where I am at all times and is always under my feet, following me from room to room, or in my way when cooking (turn to the sink, he is there, two steps back to cooker, same, walk to fridge, he is blocking me). Sometimes I long to be able to have a bath or go to the loo without him feeling the need to come with me. I then feel guilty because I know he won’t be with us forever, and I know it is because he is worried. Every day we still have with him is precious and he is my absolute world, but he still gets on my nerves sometimes

www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/animal-emotions/202202/dog-training-requires-respecting-the-deep-emotional-lives-dogs

Aria20 no not yet, maybe gearing up for this? I've heard they turn into w*nkers in adolescence but was hoping she would be the exception rather than the rule, optimistic much!!

Essex awk poor wee man, sound like my father in law's dog, she is exactly the same, sad to see but I'm sure suffocating too.

Geneloves I feel this way when she's at daycare, I feel free to eat what I want and actually get some work done

Opal these cockers are out to get us I knew they were needy but oh man, she is another level, she wants to be adored and worshipped with love and affection 24/7.

I think if it was all shared out amongst the rest of the family, it wouldn't feel so overwhelming for me, I always imagined the dog just fitting into our lives but our lives have fitted around the dog and that feels wrong.
She is very loved, in every way but I'm sure sometimes she senses how wound up I am and that probably makes it worse.looking forward to better weather when I can open the back door and just let her potter in and out, I might get more peace or she might dig a hole to the neighbours

Something like hatting might be useful for when you’re working

helpinghounds.wales/avoiding-issues/separation-5-hatting/

Hatting sounds like it could work, she already recognises when I've ended a teams call and say bye to my team, she jumps up and starts pawing at me for attention.

They are so clever, I should have picked a less clever breed

@Roadhouse111 that made me laugh because mine does the same She lept out of her bad last week when I said bye on call!!
I’m not sure who trains who sometimes!

Ah they are so lovable aren't they, it's like the kids when you go in and they're sleeping looking so sweet and cute, then they wake up and start the nonsense again and you're pulling your hair out all over again.

We will get through this #dogmums

Our cocker spaniel is the same. At the moment he's into pawing at you to get attention. DH works from home and he's got a good routine where they have a big walk late morning, and the dog then goes in his crate and sleeps for 2hrs. DH is in room next door working and FawkesPup snores til lunchtime! If I am home it's a very different story 🙄

He's basically my shadow. In the toilet with me if he can. Barks at the stairgate if I go upstairs for a shower or to do jobs. Sits outside the shower cubicle whining or barking for me.

I totally get it.

That age is a HARD. My whippet was at his craziest at 7 months and got easier (gradually) from there. He’s 4 years old now and my life is so much easier. Sometimes I even miss the crazy moment menus

I remember taking him to the park before work in my work clothes in winter and throwing a ball for him to try and burn off some energy.

Now, the only time I feel suffocated by him is the way he restricts me going on holidays. Obviously not his fault in any way.

my dogs are very tuned to my habits - if I put on dog walking clothes after my morning cup of tea then they know they are getting a walk straight away, if we get up and I get showered and put on anything else they just lie there and look at me. If I put relaxing classical music on the Alexa in the living room they know I'm going out. If I go into the study and sit down then they just lie down elsewhere, with big sighs.

I try not to give false cues and get their hopes up! Basically you have to be really really boring and predictable, no feeling guilty and starting to play when you are in work mode, you are giving mixed messages - e.g.we don't play with balls in the living room, no matter how much my Golden retriever drops them on my lap and gives me soulful looks. She tries to push the boundary but I ignore her.

Never sit down to work in clothes that you walk the dogs in. Get changed. If you take the dog out at lunchtime, get changed again. If you have clear habits and boundaries then dogs do learn what they are - and know what to expect.

They will use all of their amazing cuteness to try and train you to serve their desires - be strong 😉