Leaving dog alone, help!

[cheeseisthebest]

I have an 8 and a half month old shih tzu, he's mostly good as gold and we all love him to bits. I've tried several times to leave him alone but he just barks.
I enlisted the help of a behaviourist just before Christmas who said she would work with me to implement a proper plan, kept saying she was busy now saying she hasn't got time which is annoying as I've wasted several months waiting for her.
I've tried leaving him for just a couple of minutes, he jumps up to the window and barks. We did recently have to leave him for half an hour and he barked on and off, jumped up to the window and back down again.
I've tried a very gradual approach, he's ok in a room on his own but doesn't like the door being shut, quite happy if doors are open.
I don't know what to do but I'm thinking I will just leave him for 5 to ten minutes every day and build it up. He won't be massively happy but would he get used to it? Any other ideas? I want him to be happy on his own and not distressed but that just feels impossible at the moment.

I have this problem and I got to an hour and then right back to 5 mins . What I realise is is you have to go so slowly. So now my maximum is 15 mins, but I go up and down so some days 10 mins, or 13, or 15, then 11, gradually increasing the maximum but always going around it and down from it also. I hope this will work! I do it Mon- Fri after walk, a kong, he comes for a stroke (like he does at bedtime) then settles down for a sleep knowing I will go out. I do 5 warm up in and outs different times then the duration . It's mine numbingly boring and I pray it will work!

Mine barks also if upset and doesn't stop so it's hard not to go back in when barking but I know this is crucial! But I sit in my car so I can go back before the barking if he looks unsettled

Mine didn't like being left but as everyone has said, you build it up slowly. We have a routine, he gets a treat to distract him (a lick mat with marmite or a kong with cheese / whatever in it that takes his attention plus a spotify track left on of dog relaxing/ calming music
We established this as the routine for going out, initially 5 minutes / 10 minutes, 30 minutes, etc. Initially there was a bit of wailing but with persistence and the treats, he knew someone would be back and it stopped. Now (after 2 years) he can be left for 3 - 4 hours with no problems. Every now and again I record him to make sure that he stays settled - and he does.
They need an initial distraction and the kong / lick mat provides it

Mine needs the kong and then the warm up. If I leave during the kong he panics after he's finished. But it makes him nice and calm if he has it first and I also put valerian drops in it

Kong stuffed with doggy peanut butter in the freezer or a licky mat.

Also, a radio or tv left on.

Gradually build up time and reward when he doesn’t bark.

My thoughts are make not coming with you a good option. Our dog is good at being left now - she's just turned one - and I can just go, but if I am going out for a few hours, I put the radio on at a lowish level and give her something to chew on before I leave - a bulls tails or pigs ear or yak chew. I make sure she's been to the loo and had a good walk in advance. She is very attached to me and and my DD so if we are all going out, we make sure we leave the room before the boys. We started off very very slowly and gently so don't despair.

If yor dog has true separation anxiety flitting between rooms makes them a thousand times worse. The dogs are constantly on edge wondering when you are going to go away , their anxiety is high and so when you do flit away they are really traumatised.

The principle is better to make it clear to your dog when you are leaving so for example put on a baseball hat when you leave. The dog is then able to relax when you are not wearing the hat the anxiety levels come down and the separation anxiety is not so great.

However there is way more to it than that and a good behavourist will make a plan that works at your dogs pace and works for you so attemptong to do this on your own will not work.

However if you dog just has fear of missing out and wants to know what you are doing. Always throw down some treats in their bed when you leave the room. They will choose to stay in that area rather than follow you. You an hen build up the time you are away.

However a dog with true separation aniety will not eat the treats..... and you need professional help

@Wolfiefan I’m sure it doesn’t work for every dog but it worked for mine. In any case Op has said she won’t get another dog. Just sharing my own experiences.

@KeepingAnOpenMind you said you would get another dog.
Behaviourists say the exact opposite. A dog with true separation anxiety panics when their person leaves. It’s not another dog they want. And the anxious dog is very likely to teach the new dog this behaviour.

You said he doesn't mind, so long as the doors are left open. Can't you do that?

@IsItTooHotInHere

You said he doesn't mind, so long as the doors are left open. Can't you do that?

I could but just currently we don't in the evenings cos it's cold. I have realised that I can leave him in the house for a few minutes on his own and he's ok so maybe he's doing better than I thought. Will make a real effort this week to do that every day and give him his licki mat each time (which he hasn't had for ages actually) Pic added of my beautiful boy.

So today I've been working on stay I'm yout bed with me gradually backing away.
Also left him for about 2 mins and went to my car. I put a hat on, i think that's a great idea! He barked and jumped up to the window whilst I went out but going to do it every day then once he's got the stay in the bed will try to combine them.
Does that sound like a good plan??

That sounds good cheeseisthebest We've got a shitzu cross (nearly 2 now) and he's followed me around the house for nearly 2 years. BUT of late he's much more independent - taking himself off to other rooms to snooze. He can be left for hours using the distraction techniques others have used - music left on and a lick mat / kong / treat. He's always thrilled when we return but it's essential that he can cope with a 3 or so hour absence.

How did you get him to that point ?
Shih tzus really are people dogs aren't they!

Why can't you get another dog? Dogs are social, just like us humans. Imagine being in solitary confinement.

I can't afford another dog!

Yes - he's so friendly and adores people. Tbh, lockdown didn't help - I got him shortly before lockdown and all was going well with a brilliant puppy class via the Dog's Trust - and then everything stopped - it's only recently that I feel I've got a handle on good recall, short lead walking etc.
Leaving him was just steady persistence. The treats really helped as a distraction. Occasionally I'd wait on the pavement to make sure that his initial yelping stopped but I kept it brief initially. 10 minutes. them building it up to a coffee out and eventually he settled into it so now he copes with 3 - 4 hours once a week . I suppose he's now certain that I'll be back.

That's really great, I will carry on with what I've done today I think.