Rescue Dog barking at family member

[fatherfurlong]

We have had our Rommie rescue 9 months, he is our first dog ever. In all honesty I would not do it again. I have found it incredibly hard dealing with his nervousness, barking etc and I was so naive that I had him at the vets 3 times in the first fortnight complaining that he must have a urine infection because when I took him walking he was peeing over everything- yes I was that daft!
Anyhow he has done great, he hasn’t exactly got recall but when I go to put his lead on he doesn’t run away, he plays nicely with most dogs except other male dogs of his age that haven’t been neutered( he hasn’t been done either), he doesn’t jump up at people, he responds to sit, down, drop and wait & people in the park all congratulate me and say how well he has done, I have enrolled him in dog school and he is doing well there too BUT…….
He is still barking at my husband- not all the time but when my husband enters a room that I am already in that seems to trigger him, if he hears my husband coming down the stairs he starts a low level growl which escalates to a bark. I tell him to stop or try and distract him. My husband does walk him sometimes, but I am the main walker, he does feed the dog too and give him treats at night and when it is quiet and just me and my husband he is quiet. It has caused a bit of friction and my husband now says I fuss over him to much and that the dog sees himself as ‘second in command’! This sounds like a load of nonsense to me. My husband is very practical, good with his hands, logical and fixing things that have stopped working but I think he has trouble dealing with the the vagaries of our dog who has good and bad days and needs a more sensitive and intuitive approach when how he reacts seems illogical but obviously he has a reason to reacting like that.
Am I over romanticising it? Am I right? Or has my husband got a point? Does he feel pushed out by the dog( he is not a ‘dog person’), and what do others suggest to tackle it.

Castration would be my first thought - for the dog, not dh. Check with your vet - or maybe a different one, if I took three visits for the current vet to point out dogs piss on things.

@HirplesWithHaggis castration can make anxious dogs more so.
I would be asking DH to do more with the dog. Feeding. Treats more often. But I’m no behaviourist. Worth consulting one if only to tell DH that of course a dog doesn’t see themselves as being in command.

It reads to me like the dog is protecting or guarding you - the growling behaviour in particular would worry me as it could easily escalate if your DH accidentally did something "wrong" in the dogs' eyes.

I would be looking to speak to a qualified behaviourist as it's not fair on your DH to live in a home with an animal who growls at him like that - it's a sign of aggression and could very easily tip over and become dangerous.

Definitely time to have a chat with a qualified behaviourist - your vet should be able to refer you to someone. Ideally you want someone who is experienced with rescue dogs and street dog rescues.

Some dogs are more wary of specific types of human - sometimes it's lack of socialisation, sometimes it's a bad experience from their past. I have known dogs to hate people in hats, people with beards, and most awkwardly, people of colour.

Unlikely to be resource guarding you but behavioural advice will get you on the right track quickly.

I would not be encouraging your DH to be feeding more or interacting more with the dog - just the opposite. I would encourage your DH to ignore the dog and give them a lot of space.

Castration is not the answer

Reasure your DH that it is not personal and it is probably just because he is a man. They are taller, louder deeper voices and many dogs can find that hard.

A rescue gave you an unneutered dog? I thought they all neutered first or made you sign to say youd neuter them when old enough.
Have you spoken to the rescue for advice?

You want a trainer or behaviourist with experience with foreign rescues.

This is a really common issue btw, we’ve had mine nearly a year and we’re now down to he’ll bark at him when he comes home and occasionally in the middle of the night if it’s dark and he’s asleep.

As you cite your dog as being a rescue from Romania, chances are that he was either a street dog or subjected to horrific neglect/abuse before winding up in a rescue centre willing (desperate) to rehome him to someone in the UK. My own Kokoni, who was 8 or 9 weeks old when she landed in my lap, was probably from Romania originally and even at that age, she had been abused.

As a PP said, he is guarding you against your DH, however erroneously that might be - having identified you as the one who is "his" person, and being intact, he will defend you, so you definitely need to seek the advice of a qualified, trained behaviourist (and preferably one who has experience with foreign rescues, where we never quite know what their background is). And maybe discuss the pros/cons of having him castrated. Depending upon his age he should have been "done" prior to your being allowed to rehome him, I'm afraid; no rescue worth their salt should have sent him off intact unless he was under 9 months old at the time - and you ought to have signed an agreement that you would castrate him as soon as he was old enough, regardless (although, of course, there's nothing to say that a lot of the virtue signalling rescuers who've no experience of these situations/dogs in general will actually comply. From my own experience with friends who have also rescued Kokonis from Greece and Romania, there's minimal follow up from the rescue centre because they've moved on to the next stray or abandoned dog in need of a new home).

My own Kokoni is now 5 years old, very much my shadow and I have put a lot of work into her continued growth - socialisation with other dogs, obedience classes, having her spayed, the list goes on... but even now, despite knowing that she is loved and I will do everything in my power to keep her safe, she still has her triggers. They never forget, sadly, what was done to them. Mine is frightened by arms suddenly being moved downwards (even from across a room) because she thinks she's going to be hit - which we've never so much as tapped her because she's generally such a good member of our household -. suffers from chronic separation anxiety (not helped by the pandemic and lockdowns!), and isn't entirely sure if I'm safe with my own father and son (both of whom adore her, and whom she's 95%-ish "okay" with). If either move to hug me - she will bark/growl and try to push them away. Only;y my lowering my voice and telling her "enough!" will silence her, although she remains watchful. She's also developed a "red mist descending" hatred for parcels being left on the doorstep, which is new, and something that we're working on. So you may well find that you "fix" one issue, and something else pops up to take its place. A lot of my rescue from abroad friends have actually rehomed their dogs because they weren't willing to put the work in (the virtue-signallers who jumped on the bandwagon of a few years ago) or the dog was too damaged for their families to safely deal/cope with.

Talk to your vet and ask if they can refer any behaviourists, before something drastic happens (like your husband being bitten, because yep; this is a problem that will escalate I'm afraid).

Thanks for your responses.

To clarify we saw our rescue dog online while he was still in Romania- at that time he was 16 weeks old and we got him when he was nearly 6 months so he was too young to neuter. The arrangement with the rescue is that we will get him neutered when we feel it’s the right time and if we return him we sign to say we will pay for him to be castrated. We know very little about his background. If the dates we have for him are correct he would not have been on the street for long and may have been born in the shelter - either way his early experiences must have been poor- fighting for food and very little human handling, no play and no affection during this crucial developmental period.

We spoke to a behaviourist early on who gave us some pointers and they suggested my husband take a proactive role in his care, walking, playing, feeding etc but if my husband went into the garden to play with the dog the dog would then come in and could not be enticed out.
We enrolled him in puppy school which was run by another behaviourist. The dog got very little from this experience as he was so nervous and would not participate in the exercises. The people that run it insisted he would get something out of it as he was being exposed to other dogs but he got that in the park and simply growled at everyone there.

We then engaged another behaviourist who accompanied us on a walk and congratulated us on how well we were doing. His report again was helpful but concentrated on loads of different aspects like recall, calming activities, feeding and diet etc. With regard to barking he said if he barks at husband he is allowed 2 barks and then if he doesn’t stop remove him from the room. We did this and it worked for a short while but then things started to slide.
When I asked the vet for advice she suggested not to castrate him till at least 18 months as it would arrest his development and we would be stuck with a basket case for life! She said she could not recommend a behaviourist but it was highly advisable that we got one. Out of the blue I then got an e mail from her with a link to a behaviourist charging £450 for a one off 2 hour consultation! I would not entertain the idea of spending all that money as there is nothing they could tell me after 2 hours that would make £450 worth of difference. I am living on a pension, am going to struggle to pay my gas bill etc.
I have now signed him up for classes locally with a trainer. A course of 6 classes and we have done 3. The trainer is very reassuring, said it all takes time, and most dogs are a puzzle.
Yesterday was a bad day as he barked at husband twice. Today he has not barked at him at all, they went for a walk together, played in garden. He is now sitting by my husband taking treats with his head resting on his knee and licking his hands. We can have several days like this and then something we don’t understand will happen and he’ll be back to barking.
Our dog was scared of everything. After 7 months we are at a stage where he is an absolutely perfect dog for us in all respects apart from barking at husband which doesn’t occur every day but we don’t understand why it happens some days and not others.

Could you keep a "barking journal"? Note down things including where the dog and husband is when the barking occurs, what husband is doing (sitting, cleaning, doing DIY etc), what husband is wearing (maybe certain clothing could be a trigger), has the husband just come from the shower or in from the garden, maybe he smells different, who has done the walking/feeding prior to the barking occurrence. Write down as much as possible to try and spot some kind of trigger.

"When I asked the vet for advice she suggested not to castrate him till at least 18 months as it would arrest his development and we would be stuck with a basket case for life!"

I'd seek a second opinion on this, to be perfectly honest. My old dog, a working gundog Springer Spaniel was castrated at 9 months old - and he was the calmest dog I've ever had in my life (and I have spent 45 years with dogs - literally, there hasn't been a time in my life where I've not had at least one dog trotting along at my heels... actually, true fact: my parents GSD bitch taught me how to walk by letting me grab her collar, haul myself upright and totter along as she slowly paced across the living room floor!). He could so easily have followed his breed's traits of being " a nutter", but the castration at 9 months old (which I had done because my mother owned his female littermate and refused to have her spayed) calmed him down to a point where he was, without doubt, one of the best dogs in my life. Placid, easy to train, protective of my then 2-year-old son and 10-year-old daughter as they grew up with him.

The longer you leave the castrating of a nervous dog, I'm afraid, the more inclined they are to escalate their anxieties once "done". My mother currently owns a 5-year-old intact GSD whom she cannot now castrate, under the vet's advice, because he is already reactive. Please talk to your vet because you do not know the genetic background of your undoubtedly lovely dog, and it would be a disaster in the making if he were to impregnate a bitch on heat (and that's easily done even if they don't "tie" - my Lab/Whippet cross and GSD had 3 pups which were referred to as "the immaculate conceptions" because the first day she showed signs of going into heat, at 10 years old, no previous litters... the GSD was shipped over the road to a family member's house! 9 weeks later, my mother took my childhood dog to the vet for advice about the diet only to be told that she was mere hours away from whelping... so it does happen, just as it can with any species). My Kokoni is below knee height, for example, with stubby little legs and a long back, suggesting Corgi somewhere... but she also has a Collie's head and ears, suggesting a larger dog lurking. When my daughter bought her as an 8/9 week old pup, she was told that she was 1/8th Westie and the rest Jack Russell terrier. Nope. She also has a Pomeranion's tail so... who knows what her genetics have lurking. I don't know for certain, just as you don't know about yours. But the earlier the castration, in my experience, the calmer the dog. The longer you leave it, the more neurotic they become because they suddenly feel as though they cannot adequately protect their humans... and this makes them reactive.

Your dog is already reactive - and young enough to curb it/help him to lead a stress-free life... and, actually, he may be reacting to your husband due to swells of testosterone going through their systems. Or, there are certain times when your young dog has bursts of hormones - and views your husband as competition for your attention/affections. That might be worth your considering.

As the PP suggested, keep a bark diary; determine if smell or certain items of clothing are triggering your dog, but also please understand that somewhere along the line, even if only weeks old, your dog is highly likely to have either been hurt by a man - or witnessed his mother being hurt by one. They really do not forget (I used to foster kittens and the one who came to us at 3 weeks old, having been separated from his mother by her male owner - another unwanted/surprise litter - loathed men to the point where his nickname was Psycho... because he would chase after them with teeth and claws. I ended up with him in my life for 22 years, and he adored my son... but he was the only human male he'd tolerate!).

I genuinely wish you and your dog the best of luck. To be prepared to keep working with a street-dog/foreign rescue is the only way they will have the chance of a safe, happy life where they experience love. But you will have to be prepared to spend the next 10 years or so constantly, consistently working with them, trying to get them safely through their triggers and fears, and understanding that your dog may never take to your husband 100%.

Op totally ignore the post above. It has a lot of incorrect information.

I bet money that the "behaviourists" you saw where not qualified behaviourists.

No qualified behaviourist would encourage an anxious dog into a class of other dogs and say it would be good for them!

Also the advice on your husband taking proactive care of your dog is down right dangerous.

I know £450 sounds like a lot of money but you must have spent some already and got incorrect advice. The behaviourist asking that money will be educated to a very high level in all kinds of dog behavour, will have experience to understand the issues and give you very detailed and correct advice. There will be a follow up if you need to tweak any parts of the program. Personally I would want to get the correct advice than spent money on the wrong advice.

Group classes will make no difference to your dogs emotions towards your DH they may help with general training but that will not sort out the problem you are describing.

If your car needs a mechanic you take it to the garage to get fixed you dont just ask a person who drives cars to fix it.....If your dog needed physical care you would take it to a vet not just ask a first aider.

Check your insurance - good/most insurance will pay for a qualified behaviourist

@PollyRoulllson, I'm intrigued - what incorrect information did I give, seeing as how I have done nothing more than to speak from my own experience/cite what my vet has told me regarding my non-rescue dog/rescue kitten/actual foreign rescue dog?

If the OP's dog is already reactive, then they will remain reactive no matter whether they are castrated or not. However, if they are young enough then there is a genuine chance that castration along with a lot of retraining will work. The way it sounds as if it's going? The OP's husband is going to end up with "a Rommie rescue" hanging off their arm or leg by their teeth. No one deserves that.

Least of all a rescue dog whose background will never be fully known - and ought not to be replicated because the OP hasn't had him castrated.

My own rescue Kokoni was spayed. Because I refuse to buy into idiots like my own mother's weird belief system that all dogs deserve to have "at least one litter" but also because I know that their dogs aren't spayed/castrated. I don't know the genetic background of my Kokoni (aka "Greek Street dog) and refuse to risk her health, because she is small with potential large dog genes lurking. I had my Springer castrated, despite him being a dog whom I could have put to stud (he hit full breed markers for height, etc) because my mother refused tp spay his sister, despite having lost 3 bitches to cancer of the mammary glands/uterine cancer - including the one who whelped for the first time when she was 10 and I was 13) even though she was not an ideal example of the breed (literal full siblings, genetics quirk in the oddest of ways). And, as I stated, in my experience, castration gifted me the calmest of dogs whose breed actually tends to lean towards something that... well, they're not called "Springers" for nothing!

He, however, was not a rescue, nor was he ever abused. My mother's intact GSD has also never been abused - but is reactive and deemed too old for castration to "calm" him down.

The OP has, by their own admission, tried behaviorists - who have patted them on the back, told them what a good job they're doing, and pocketed their money. They are doing the best they can - but they have a foreign rescue, which opens up a whole other minefield. I've been there. I expect to be there until my Kokoni dies. I work every day on her quirks and fears (last night, my teenager made a bit of sudden noise upstairs... and I suddenly had a lapful of trembling dog looking to me to protect them!) as do all of us who have a foreign rescue. And my Kokoni was 8/9 weeks old, so literally half the age of the OP's dog when they rescued them! She is now 5 years old. They. Don't. Forget. Their. Abuse.

And, unfortunately, if the OP and their husband want to keep their rescue as a part of their lives/home, then they need to figure out what it is about the husband that is triggering him. Before he reacts, bites the husband and ends up being rehomed again.

Castration will increase reactivity - fact
Castration increases 29 unwanted behaviours in dogs
Castrated dogs show more anxiety
Castrated dogs show more aggression due to fear

McCreevy, et al. (2018) paper here with more info

So to castrate a dog already showing anxiety and reactivity will increase the unwanted behaviours of aggression or reactivity

PollyRoulllson, currently the man we are seeing is a dog trainer with a lifetime interest in dogs- he may not have a professional qualification but he has been very helpful. The other ‘behaviourists’ we sought out were both registered with the ABTC and have the qualifications listed.
My pet insurance, when I asked about claiming so I could employ a behaviourist stated I could claim as long as the puppy had been socialised as one would expect early on which of course with a rescue is not appropriate and my own silly fault for not reading the small print but speaking to others with dogs it seems this is pretty common.

£450 doesn’t only sound like a lot of money- it is a lot of money! I have sought a second vets opinion re: castration and they said exactly the same- wait till he is 18 months at least even to try out chemical castration. Thank you for all your opinions and thoughts which are born out of your experiences and everyone’s is valid.

If occasionally barking is your only concern I think you're doing very well, especially if it's not all the time.
I'd be more patient, don't force DH into your dog's space or force any interaction, just be relaxed. You can quietly observe the behaviour of your dog - what is his body language, how quickly does he settle, does he show other nervous or reactive body signs - then hopefully a few more weeks will give you some insights, or at least more detail to share with any behaviourist.
Be calm, be low key, don't rush things or interfere too much.

Also, he presumably doesn't know its your DH walking down the stairs, so is he simply alert growl & barking?
He might just need more time to fully relax with a man. Especially if he's been forced to interact with a lot of strange males - presuming the vets & trainers were male?
9 months is not long in a dogs life, he's not much more than a puppy.

@PollyRoulllson

Castration will increase reactivity - fact Castration increases 29 unwanted behaviours in dogs Castrated dogs show more anxiety Castrated dogs show more aggression due to fear

McCreevy, et al. (2018) paper here with more info

So to castrate a dog already showing anxiety and reactivity will increase the unwanted behaviours of aggression or reactivity

That study is on some dogs that were castrated before puberty.

Rescue dogs are supposed to be neutered. Its generally in the contract.

Im my experience, castrated dogs are calmer, less territorial, less aggressive, less randy.

Ihaventgottimeforthis,

Thank you for your response, calm, measured and not alarmist approach- I am sure your dog must be very laid back with your attitude!
There are 3 adult males in our household but the dog seems to be able to differentiate the different footfalls and seems to only react to my husbands steps but it is not all the time. Generally my husband who helps a lot with chores and does all the DIY is usually carrying a bin to empty/tool box/washing/cat litter tray etc so that I understand but sometimes he will be carrying a tray of tea or coming in to hand me post and the dog will bark at him because he has merely entered the room!

When everyone else has gone to bed the dog will sit with my husband and take treats from him, lick his hands and sit up close to him. We do have a cat who is very attached to my husband and will sit on his shoulder or in his lap at dinner time so maybe he smells of cat and the dog associates him with the cat who our dog gets very excited by if close.
In all other respects the dog is great. He was nervous of traffic( we live on a busy road) so he is still wary but daily exposure has mean’t he is used to it, he used to bark at passers by so I always had to keep his lead tight- he now is fine. He plays beautifully with other dogs, in an enclosure( several other owners with smaller dogs say they like my dog because he is playful but not threatening or aggressive and is respectful of their size he is never a nuisance to anyone unlike some of the dogs he encounters who are off lead in the main park. He takes treats from strangers now too whereas before he would back away and bark at them. He never jumps up at anyone and although his recall is not 100% which is why I don’t let him off lead out of the enclosure if I shout ‘wait’ he will stand and let me catchup with him to put on his lead unlike the dogs of 95% of other dog owners in the park who see my dog is on a lead( do they never consider that my dog is on a lead for a reason) and call their dog off to no avail.
I hope my view isn’t too romanticised or that I am being blinded to his true nature by these instances but they are all good things right? He has made progress and I agree with you that time may sort out these problems and if not observation will at least give me info to pass on to a behaviourist if we fail to stop it.

"My mother currently owns a 5-year-old intact GSD whom she cannot now castrate, under the vet's advice, because he is already reactive."

So, in my original post, @PollyRoulllson, when I stated the above... I acknowledged that reactive dogs are not great candidates for castration. My mother's dog has never been abused, was sourced (by me) from a reputable breeder who is doing her bit to prevent the sloped GSD back from being a "thing". He is perfectly trained - but last year saw my mother (whom he adores) be attacked by a retriever and badly bitten. That is where his reactivity stems from - my mother's fellow dog walkers suggested that she talk to the vet about having him castrated who said that it wasn't a great idea as it might make him worse.

The OP's dog, however, is a rescue who is reactive to her husband and whom she has admitted is able to single the husband's footfall out from 3 adult males living in the home. She also admits that the rescue centre made them sign an agreement to have this still young dog castrated when old enough. 9 months, whilst not ideal, is old enough. They do not know the genetic background of their dog, they do not know what happened to it prior to it landing in the rescue centre (even if it was born there, it would have been surrounded by a lot of other traumatised/distressed/reactive dogs) and, as I have also stated there are people out there who will, and do, abuse weeks old pups.

Like others I suggested a behaviourist - the OP stated that they've seen three, maybe four, who did not (?could not) solve the problem. Castration - which morally they're obliged to have done, and probably a while ago - is a better option than having to rehome this dog for a second time at least, surely? Or even trying this implant which I've been researching to see if it's a better option for my mother's dog.

So nowhere did I state erroneous information. I acknowledged two key facts: that castration is not always a great idea when the dog is already reactive... but as a rescue whose genetic background is unknown, and who would already have been castrated had he been rescued from a UK centre, and whom the OP doesn't want to bite the husband, or end up having to rehome again, it might be an option.

@fatherfurlong, please talk to your vet and discuss with them your options. From what you've said concerning the way your dog will sit with your husband when - presumably - your sons aren't around is a good sign that he's not as reactive as you first implied. My Kokoni has a maternal streak a mile wide... but I still had her spayed, because of the uncertainty concerning her genetic background and the fact that my mother's intact GSD is easily 3 times her size, if not more. It was the right thing to do - for her sake. She has a (castrated) cat to love on now, instead (who thinks he's a dog, but that's a whole other issue...). Good luck, genuinely - rescues are often the bright moments in our lives when we can remove their seemingly inbuilt fears and teach them that not everyone is going to hurt them. From the sound of it, your dog has an immense amount of love to give to both you and your husband... if you can just work out what's triggering him and reassure him that it's nothing to react to.

@fatherfurlong I wish!! I have a 2.5 year old male collie mix who is selectively reactive & rather aloof & highly strung, hence my approach of trying to remain calm, let him be, and not trying to 'fix' him, just to understand him first.
I've decided not to castrate him either.
You sound like you're getting so much right, there are so many positives, I'm sure you will get past this in time.

i think you are doing brilliantly