Help! Need advice on when it is time to put dog to sleep

[aibusux2u]

Hello everyone.

Our dog is 15 and a half. We took her to the vet today as her anal sac is very swollen, expecting it to be an infection or similar, but he said he is 99% sure it is cancer. Awaiting biopsy results to confirm. He said as it has grown so fast and so big (golf ball size), it is likely aggressive. Removal is an option but is a lot to put an old dog through and may only buy her a couple of months as it would likely recur.

She is totally well in herself, but we know the time will come when she is not and it apparently could be quite sudden as the tumour may grow so large that she can't have a bowel movement anymore.

We want her passing to be as peaceful as possible and I found a service that allows you to arrange this in advance, but how do you know when??? Right now she is fine so I don't want to rob her of good days, but I also don't want her to deteriorate and be in pain and for the euthanisia to be done under traumatic circumstances.

Anybody who has been through something like this and can offer some words of wisdom? I have read here before that one day early is better than one day late, and I am 100% with this if the dog is in pain or has mobility issues, but right now she is totally fine, and that's what I am struggling with.

Thanks for reading, if you made it this far!

I’m so so sorry. I went through putting my dog to sleep earlier this year and it was both immensely painful and a profound relief to be able to offer him a dignified end.
What helped me as part of the process was asking the vet ‘if he was yours, what would you do?’ and getting an honest answer that the time had come. However, at this point we were at emergency stage in the middle of the night and I appreciate this may not be relevant for your situation. But I remember it being a hugely helpful question to ask. (I also appreciate not every vet will answer this in a helpful way).
Anyway, I am not sure I’m offering you much help here but wanted to say how sorry I am and that as painful as it was, I look back and know I did the best I could by my boy. Take care xx

I'm so so sorry it's such a difficult decision. We had to make this decision at Christmas. Is your dog eating and drinking normally? Going to the toilet as normal? Dogs tend to not show weakness - are they hiding away? My dog had bowel cancer and was being sick and not eating much for a while. The vets thought it was pancreatitis. All bloods came back clear so we didn't think at the time it was cancer. If they're eating etc I'd wait. Your vet should be able to make your dog more comfortable. My dog had an anti sickness and steroids to give us a few days to make the decision. Even when we lost him I still wondered if we should have had another day which is selfish but it's a very hard decision. His was inoperable but I'm not sure we would have put him through an operation like that

I am sorry you are going through this.Your dog(15 years old) is not fine.it sounds he has an infection and the vet told you it is most likely cancer.Cancer spreads very quickly in dogs.I had 2 dogs,both dying of cancer.I personally would not put him through tests.I would get him some pain relief and lots and lots of cuddles.I personally would prepare myself mentally that very very soon it is time to say farewell.you are a lucky person to have been able to enjoy 15 wonderful years with your best mate.he shared with you good and bad times.it is the hardest time for every dogowner

Do it a month early rather than a week too late.
A close friend is a vet in her 50s, she says that these days vets are too slow to advise PTS when it’s obvious that’s going to be the eventual result anyway.
I’m sorry OP but your dog could be suffering but not showing it

So sorry to hear this. It's just so hard and the added fear of leaving them too long makes it even worse. You have had the biopsy so that will hopefully give you a conclusive answer as to whether it is cancer and your vet should be able to advise on how long your boy might have.

When our cat had a very aggressive lymphoma the vet recommended steroids to slow the growth and extend his life expectancy. We had him put to sleep when he lost his appetite but he was perky and affectionate right to the end.

I would be guided by your vet and, as another poster has said, ask your vet what they would do. Don't be afraid to call the vet if you have concerns or to take him back in for them to check him over regularly. I assume from your post you're planning to have a vet come to the house at the end? That is what I would like to do too for my dog when the time comes.

While it's heartbreaking to lose a beloved pet, at least you have some time to spoil him and say goodbye. I would say 'and prepare yourself' but I don't think you can. I'll be thinking of you.

Rather a week too soon than a day too late.

The question you have to ask yourself is, who are you keeping him going for? He’s not fine. He’s ill he just isn’t showing it, but he knows, I guarantee he knows.

Not wanting to put him to sleep yet is likely more about you than him. Because he seems well in himself you don’t want to lose him, but you’re obviously thinking that he’s well.

In truth he will know nothing between being cuddled by his favourite humans

Pressed post too soon. He will know nothing between being cuddled by his favourite humans and falling asleep.

By the time he seems ill it’s already too late.

I would prepare to do it now tbh. And I speak as someone who is going to have to make a similar decision for my 13.5 year old dog at some point in the coming months. He’s not ill but getting old, so I know it’s only a matter of time at this stage.

There is a list that a lot of vets can give you to help, it contains the ‘quality of life’ pointers. You may be able to find it online. Is your dog able to get outside to the toilet? Eating and drinking?

In my personal experience, they give you a look and you just know. One of my dogs had a chronic arthritic condition and there were a few times he had a bad flare up where he couldn’t get up(he was 50kg), and we discussed euthanasia, but with painkillers he came around and was fine for another year. The last time, he would not stop staring right in to my eyes, imploring me to help. I was his most trusted person and he knew to ‘tell’ me he was ready.

@Hoppinggreen

Do it a month early rather than a week too late. A close friend is a vet in her 50s, she says that these days vets are too slow to advise PTS when it’s obvious that’s going to be the eventual result anyway. I’m sorry OP but your dog could be suffering but not showing it

This.

I, too, have a close friend who is a vastly experienced small animal vet and she always advises that when the time comes owners must put the pet’s best interests before their own emotions and say goodbye while it still has a good quality of life. Animals have no concept of the future, only of the present.

Better a week early than a day too late. Always.

I've lost two dogs to cancer and in both cases, when the end came it came very quickly. We weren't expecting the first time (we also thought it was pancreatitis) and the sudden deterioration was distressing. With our other dog, we knew it was cancer, an aggressive one, and made the decision not to bring him round after the anaesthetic for the scan that showed how quickly it had regrown. My eyes are still filling with tears now, years on! I hated not saying goodbye properly but im also glad we spared him the miserable 48 hours our other dog went through.

You have my absolute sympathy - it is SO HARD. Fifteen and a half is a marvellous innings.

I'm so sorry that you're going through this but I'm going to say that I think you'll know when the time comes.
You'll have lived with your dear dog for so long and I truly believe that you'll know the time is right but be minded if your vet tells you that your dog is suffering.

@Hoppinggreen is right . We listened to our, then , vet , when our 20 year old cat was failing.
The vet wanted to do scans ( involving a couple of days at some clinic somewhere) as well as multiple tests and urine extractions ( she would not pee on chemical granules indoors ) and I found a spine and told them that my cat was terrified ( oh how terrified she was ) and that, at 20 , she didn't need scans, tests or anything intrusive. ( They weren't happy and suggested that I didn't care for my cat!!!)

Anyway, finally got to a vet who said that she's at the end of her life, she was ok but slowing down, ready to go and that we'd know.
We did.

She just absented herself from life. Hiding , not eating or drinking.
So we took her to have a long, peaceful, calm sleep.

What breed is your dog? (15 is less "old" for some than others). Get the vet - or maybe the most experienced vet in the practice - to talk you through the possibilities.
I have had some dogs have quite major surgery in old age, but bounce back quickly and have had a decent number of months with good quality of life after. Others, well their number was up.
A good practice will provide their own out of hours care and will come to the house to PTS so you're not put under pressure in that regard.

You are the one who has to live with what you decide for years to come, so do what feels least bad to you personally.

I don't know the right answer but I know what I would do.

I would not put a dog that old through any other treatments. If my dog were fine at the moment I would have a special weekend. Do all their favourite things, a walk in the woods, a sniff around the park. I would give them the best days possible, then I would PTS.

I hope that one day we will be able to be as kind to our elderly relatives.

It’s so hard. I sat with my old boy lying next to me on the sofa silently begging him to die so that I didn’t have to make the decision.

But like all the rest of my bastard animals I had to make the call and hold him close whilst the end came.

hope that one day we will be able to be as kind to our elderly relatives.completely agree@Frenchfancy

OP, you sound like you love your dog very much. As soon as you know she's unhappy, it's time.
There might be no other signals. As PP have said, animals mask pain.
It's a horrible situation to be in. With my first dog, my now XH persuaded me to not PTS my lovely Max (even now, so many years later, it's brought me to tears because I loved him so much). We ended back up at the vets two days later.
I bitterly regret that I didn't stand up for him.

Thank you for all of your replies. Lots of food for thought.
Sorry for all of your losses.

@Frenchfancy

I don't know the right answer but I know what I would do.

I would not put a dog that old through any other treatments. If my dog were fine at the moment I would have a special weekend. Do all their favourite things, a walk in the woods, a sniff around the park. I would give them the best days possible, then I would PTS.

I hope that one day we will be able to be as kind to our elderly relatives.

I second this. I lost my 15 year old boy last year and I made the decision when he was still eating, drinking and pottering around, he had however list his eyesight, hearing, marbles basically and completely lost interest in me 🥲, didn't get excited seeing me anymore. Took himself off in a different room all the time. it was Definitely the right time. When I'd made the decision and appointment I arranged to give him the best day, cooked his favourite sausages for breakfast, took one last walk round the block, just him and me, cuddled on the sofa and told him what a good boy he'd been for me (literally poured my heart out) and then took him.

It was so hard but definitely the right thing to do.

Op I'm so sorry 😢