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The doghouse

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Original poster

A bad thing happened

33 replies

opalescent · 22/01/2022 20:12

Looking for advice and a hand hold

My 7 month old cocker spaniel nipped my daughter on the cheek this evening 😩

It was a slightly unusual situation, as family had unexpectedly popped round, and it was all a bit chaotic. From what I can gather, dd happened upon ddog, who was enjoying her licki mat in the hall. She tried to either pick the dog up, or the licki mat, either way, ddog turned and bit dd on the cheek. It didn't break the skin, but will bruise, and she cried 😭

I feel dreadful about it.

I feel like it wouldn't have happened in the usual run of things, but I wasn't focused as so much was happening at the time.

Ddog has never shown any sort of aggression, but I think she was possibly startled and/or resource guarding?

How bad it this? And what should I do going forward? (Apart From, obviously, not leave them unattended together!)

OP posts:
Girliefriendlikespuppies · 22/01/2022 20:16

Personally I would chalk it up to experience, your dd shouldn't have messed about with the dog especially when he had something he wanted.

Hopefully she has now learnt to respect his boundaries.

It absolutely doesn't mean the dogs aggressive just that he felt backed into a corner and no one was listening to him.

lynntheyresexswappers · 22/01/2022 20:22

They need to be constantly supervised. That's not what you wanted to hear, but it's fact.

Original poster
opalescent · 22/01/2022 20:30

@Girliefriendlikespuppies

Personally I would chalk it up to experience, your dd shouldn't have messed about with the dog especially when he had something he wanted.

Hopefully she has now learnt to respect his boundaries.

It absolutely doesn't mean the dogs aggressive just that he felt backed into a corner and no one was listening to him.

Thank you, I totally agree. It's certainly prompted another discussion about appropriate behaviour around the dog.
OP posts:
Hugasauras · 22/01/2022 20:32

Was there food on the mat? Drill it in that you should never approach a dog when it is eating. I would make sure that dog is left alone for foods/anything involving food.

Santahasjoinedww · 22/01/2022 20:34

Ime dc need as much if not more training than any ddog. At 7 months your ddog isn't vicious...
No food around +dc nearby is a good starting point.
Ddog away when guests arrive maybe? Meet when the hustle of arrival is over. Calm environment =calmer ddog.
Tough lesson but dd now knows what happens without ddoggy respect /boundaries.. I truly bet it never happens again.

Original poster
opalescent · 22/01/2022 20:37

Thank you so much all. Really appreciate these very helpful and grounding responses.
Definitely drilling in about food and boundaries for poor ddog!

OP posts:
TheGoldenWolfFleece · 22/01/2022 20:39

If the dog can't cope in busy environments (especially if you're likely to be distracted) i would crate train or put him in a different room away from everyone. Remove him from the stressful situation.

Original poster
opalescent · 22/01/2022 20:42

I absolutely should have crated her during this visit- she is crate trained and it would have been the ideal response, but it was a unexpected visit, and I hadn't thought it all through 🤦🏻‍♀️

OP posts:
Santahasjoinedww · 22/01/2022 20:42

I would def say don't let it put you or dd off nurturing a relationship with ddog. My ds 7 truly loves our ddogs. He gives treats in the kitchen only. They never try to steal his food /sweets as they associate kitchen +ds = food! They share a bedtime story every night and cuddles whenever he gets the chance tbh!

JenniferAlisonPhilippaSue · 22/01/2022 20:43

This incident was your fault, not your daughter’s!

GRGirl · 22/01/2022 20:46

I also think the advice is that if a dog resource guards you shouldn't ever take anything they're guarding off them if you can help it as it makes them.more fearful and that makes them more prone to guarding.

People here will know a lot more than that but it seemed counterintuitive to me at first so I thought I would mention it.

BalladOfBarryAndFreda · 22/01/2022 20:47

Definitely a learning experience all round, I hope everyone is ok and not too shaken. The advice you’ve had re keeping the kids and dog separate when food is around is good.

Daisy4569 · 22/01/2022 20:48

Oh how awful for you. Try not to beat yourself up about it. It was an unexpected situation and we all make mistakes (including dogs and kids!). Definitely have a chat with DD and practise what to do in different situations and I’m sure next time you will crate your lovely dog. Accidents happen so just learn from it and move on! Sounds like a stressful event for all involved, I hope you have a nice day tomorrow to compensate (maybe a walk with DD and your dog to build some bridges so she’s not put off!)

GingerAndTheBiscuits · 22/01/2022 20:50

How old is DD? It does sound like this was a guarding/startle response rather than aggression. Though you’re probably getting an easier ride here than other breeds would!

Original poster
opalescent · 22/01/2022 20:51

@JenniferAlisonPhilippaSue

This incident was your fault, not your daughter’s!
Where did I say it was my daughter's fault? Confused
OP posts:
fairylightsandwaxmelts · 22/01/2022 20:51

At seven months, your puppy is still really young and behaving in a totally natural way - please don't worry about it too much.

Your DD will learn to leave the puppy alone when it has food and you'll learn to put the puppy somewhere private/safe while it's eating to prevent any temptation from children or guests.

Always, always leave the dog alone while it eats - for everyone's safety, and wait until the dog has left the bowl/mat/treat alone before you go and remove it.

Original poster
opalescent · 22/01/2022 20:52

@GingerAndTheBiscuits

How old is DD? It does sound like this was a guarding/startle response rather than aggression. Though you’re probably getting an easier ride here than other breeds would!
DD is 4. I'm inclined to agree with you about the startle bit
OP posts:
Original poster
opalescent · 22/01/2022 20:52

Thank you all, some really helpful and supportive comments, much appreciated ❤️

OP posts:
Hoppinggreen · 22/01/2022 20:56

Lickimat only away from everyone or if Ddog gets guardy about it again you will have to stop giving it.
Your dog showed good bite inhibition though so just learn from this and move on.
Cockers can resource guard and be slightly neurotic as well but this might just be a one off

Santahasjoinedww · 22/01/2022 20:57

I startled our 8yo ddog by stretching my legs next to her. Her teeth had neared my toes before her eyes opened!! She realised it was me and went back to sleep!! Natural reaction to being disturbed sometimes! Yet our other ddogs sleep lightly and enjoy a massage while dozing!! Your ddog is still to be learned from!! And dd has a huge lot to learn about him!

OfNick · 22/01/2022 21:13

I was in a similar position yesterday OP. DD, 8, went to give DDog a cuddle whilst he had a toy bone. He's nipped her nose. Luckily not breaking the skin but she had an enormous nose bleed. DDog is a cockapoo. It's really scared the life out of me. I hope your DD is ok

OfNick · 22/01/2022 21:15

Definitely guarding in my opinion too. Our DDog is terrible for it. He is the loveliest dog and we have had him since 8 weeks, he is now just 1 year. One thing we have to watch for though is if he has a toy or food and DC go near him. It's not the first time that he has gone for a DC...

Newschapter · 22/01/2022 21:18

@opalescent I can see exactly how this could happen in a busy house.

We've two dogs and the first thing we were taught at puppy training classes was how to remove theor bowls without them biting us.

I don't think there's blame to be apportioned as I am sure you feel awful and your poor little girl probably feels awful as well (and sore)

Hopefully you can all move on from this and she's not afraid of the puppy going forward.

nothingcanhurtmewithmyeyesshut · 22/01/2022 21:32

She's only a puppy. Puppies do nip, they're babies. This is how their mothers chastise them and teach them manners and they do it to each other too.

If you watch them interacting you will notice that when one gets a bit overzealous the other will snap or nip them lightly to basically say pack it in.

This is the dog warning your DD that she doesn't like being manhandled and is not happy about having her treat taken away. As she gets older you'll likely find that she gives a warning growl or air snap first.

I'd just make it into a teachable moment about appropriate behaviour around dogs and leaving them alone while they're eating. You should drill it into her that she should never attempt to take away the dogs food and that the dog is not a toy to be pulled about.

Try framing it to her as: she would probably lash out too if she was eating something nice and someone tried to take it from her or drag her away from it.

It wasn't an act of aggression by the sounds of it. Dd was over excited and all over the dog, dog was startled and protecting her food. Despite being different species its basically two children squabbling.

dustofneptune · 22/01/2022 23:11

As most other people have said, I'd just treat it as a learning experience and also be more cautious.

Your dog is at an age where you're going to spend the next 6-12 months continuing to learn about her sensitivities and personality as she moves into adulthood. So you're still getting to know her, and things will surely crop up unexpectedly. Resource guarding is really common in Cockers, so I'd definitely take heed of the warning signs though.

My Cocker gets frazzled really easy and finds busy environments too chaotic, and then when he's in that state, he's more prone to snapping and resource guarding. Makes sense really.

I'd just supervise your daughter with your doggo, keep talking about boundaries, and be careful with food/chews/licki mats. Perhaps only give them in a pen/crate, or at least when the house is quiet or your dog can be placed in a quiet area.